LINC SCARED OF MAN WITH GUN! LINC HOLD BRAINS IN HEAD!

Well, things are moving right along here in Miami! Team Michael and Team Linc are totally mad at each other, but their separate sleuthing adventures lead them to the same place at the same time for an anticlimactic whispery showdown. Those fake passes they found in the church are for an energy conference, which is turning out to be pretty important apparently. T-Bag gets the shit kicked out of him while he's helping the boys, so he gets all huffy and tattles to the General about how The Mom Who Makes Dina Lohan Look Like Carol Brady has Scylla, which means the proverbial shit will be hitting the proverbial fan pretty soon. Also, Sara is totally knocked up.

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Ba-RING IT!" »

Posted by Loula at 1:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

WHY MAN WITH TELESCOPE LOOK AT LINC GIANT HEAD?

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Mama Said Take You Out" »

Posted by Loula at 8:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This was the third thoroughly awesome episode in a row. Sadly, the awesomer the episode, the harder it is to ridicule. Boring/stupid episode recaps are way funnier, but I do my best. Anyway, awesome: Michael totally gets Scylla from Self! For like an entire minute or so before he steals it back! T-Bag has a crisis of conscience with hilarious results, Self is even more psycho than we thought, and looks like Michael's finally getting that brain surgery after all. Plus: Gretchen/Sucre smackdown!

LINC HATE BLUETOOTH! LINC GET CONFUSED WHEN PEOPLE TALK OUT LOUD TO NOBODY!

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice...Um...You Ain't Gonna Fool Me Again" »

Posted by Loula at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Oh, the wackiness that is sure to ensue with this zany duo!

So remember how Self turned out to be a total bastard? Yeah, turns out he's a real piece of work. Not one of those conflicted, desperate villains this show is so fond of, just a plain old bastard. So surely his boss at the DHS will be totally eager to rectify this situation and get the Superfriends the immunity they were promised, right? Right?

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Let's (Not) Make A Deal" »

Posted by Loula at 8:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Well, shit.

So this is what happens when I go on vacation! That'll teach me to enjoy a lovely beachfront Thanksgiving. Sheesh. Good news: Michael's wacky hare-brained schemes totally worked and he didn't even drop dead trying! His ragtag band of criminals totally came through! Hooray! Bad news: Oh, the bad news. So very very bad.

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Go F%@k Your Self" »

Posted by Loula at 8:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Get it, because it was really quiet, and also they drilled a lot of holes? Get it? Huh?

Mission: Implausible!

Anyway, this is what we find ourselves with this week. Their break-in plan turns out to be pretty cool, which is one of my favorite themes in this show: 1) Impossible task is proposed; 2) Michael formulates a secret plan; 3) Plan is revealed only when it actually unfolds; 4) I go "Wow! Neat!" They weren't kidding about the "quiet" part of the title either - a good chunk of this episode is completely dialog-free. Oh, and Michael totally doesn't go to the doctor, of course. It's just a tumor after all. Walk it off, Michael!

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Silent Night, Holey Night" »

Posted by Loula at 8:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"I'm sorry, sir, but the rare Plot Contrivancanoma is notoriously resistant to treatment."

Despite the usual silliness, this was my favorite episode in weeks. It's been like two entire seasons since T-Bag made me all teary-eyed, then made me feel like I needed to take a shower for letting a fictional psychopath make me teary-eyed. Anyway, a lot of this episode is a surprisingly sweet tribute to Bellick, and who the hell knew we'd miss the cat-strangling bastard that much? Mahone is interesting again now that he's gotten his vengeance out of the way, and we meet the guy who designed Scylla's security system. Also suddenly interesting? Booberella and Gretchen. Go figure. Also: It is, in fact, a toomah.

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Tumor Has It" »

Posted by Loula at 7:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Waaaaade (Williams) in the water, children!

Attention Fox Promo Monkeys: stop it with the "OMG somebody is totally gonna die!!!" teasers. We figure it out who it is in the first ten minutes and the rest of the episode is one big deathwatch. It's very distracting. Anyway, something weird and gross goes on between Gretchen and Baldy, and I still don't really know what her deal is. Mahone wearily exacts his revenge while the rest of the boys drop down into the secret passage in Cole Pfeiffer's closet, and Sara doesn't really do anything at all. You know, I was totally fine with the whole "she wasn't dead after all, d'oh!" thing, cause this show is a total sausagefest and I liked her a lot in season two when she was all clever and spunky and outwitting Kellerman. (Sigh. Kellerman.) But why go through all that trouble if you're not going to give her a plotline? Somebody get on that.

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Brad Under Troubled Waters" »

Posted by Loula at 5:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Thanks, Prison Break, for getting "Viva Las Vegas" stuck in my head, which inevitably morphs into "Viva Viagra" and makes me want to kill myself.

Thanks to the beautiful, beautiful miracle that is DVR, I don't normally see commercials, but I couldn't help but notice that the Fox promo monkeys have pounced on Stephen King's love letter to Prison Break in his EW column. So hey, thanks, Mr. King, for giving these guys some blurbs and maybe an extra viewer or two, and as a token of my appreciation I will forgive you for your egregious dismissal of Mad Men, one of the few things the Emmys and I agree on. (I mean, come on! That scene with the Carousel? John Hamm? Those low-angle, one-take shots? Betty Draper's slow, quiet, devastating existential breakdown? Come on!) Anyway, Vegas!

Continue reading "Prison Break: Aw, Craps." »

Posted by Loula at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

And we're off! To the races, and also to jail. Mahone gets got, but do the Superfriends let him rot in jail or risk their mission to save him? Okay, you can probably guess the answer to that. But wow, a busy day for Team Justice! Two Missions: Implausible in one episode, and we still haven't seen any of them sleep or eat anything this entire season. Get these people a nap and some some Thai delivery, for heaven's sake! The future of the Laotian economy depends on it!

Where have I seen this before?

Continue reading "Prison Break: Prison Break: Mahone Alone" »

Posted by Loula at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)