At the courthouse, L.J. has a visitor. We're supposed to think it's going to be Link in his brilliant lawyer disguise, but it turns out to be Agent Mahone. Mahone tries to pull some Jedi mind tricks on L.J., opening the conversation with an homage to how smart Michael and Link were to pull off their escape. Huh - trying to psych out a messed-up fifteen-year-old. Mahone really is a Zen master. Unfortunately, it doesn't work and L.J. remains snarky. Mahone asks L.J. to help the FBI bring the escapees in peacefully by going on TV and pleading with them to come home. L.J. points out that the government has set both him and his dad up for murder, so he's not inclined to cooperate. Mahone gets mad and tells L.J. to save himself and not to sacrifice himself for his dad. Then he delivers a veiled threat that he is going to make sure that L.J. gets a really nasty cellmate if he doesn't cooperate. Wow, threatening a fifteen-year-old with ass-rape. That's some top-shelf FBI work right there.
By the way, L.J. is the oldest-looking fifteen-year-old I've ever seen. I'd say he looks more like twenty-six. So if you feel, as I do, that this show already encompasses more than its fair share of pedophilia allusions, it should be pretty easy not to mentally cast L.J.'s plight in those particular terms.
Maybe next Agent Mahone will threaten to bust L.J. for buying beer for all of the other high-school kids.
Tweener tries to buy a train ticket to Utah. He gets really nervous when he sees someone reading the paper with his picture on the front page. He finds out that there are no trains to Utah until tomorrow, so he asks how far he can get today on $45.00. I've got news for you, Tweener: You cannot get too damn far on Amtrak for 45 bucks. I would say that's worth about a two-hour train ride, at least over here in the Northeast corridor. I think if you want to get from St. Louis to Utah, you're going to have to do a little fundraising. Anyway, Tweener abandons the whole transaction and bolts because he's afraid he's about to be recognized.
Link calls the courthouse and asks for L.J., pretending to be Nick and reciting Nick's "bar number" as proof. Hey, does that really work? I have never heard of this practice of criminal lawyers identifying themselves by their bar numbers. It seems like a really dumb idea, because, well, because of exactly what is happening in this scene. Also, hasn't Nick been dead for at least a couple of days? I guess word hasn't reached the courthouse? L.J. gets on the phone and it's kind of cute how he smiles when he realizes it's his dad. L.J. tells Link that he's heard he's going to be sent to an adult facility in Kingman, Arizona. He asks whether Link has heard from Veronica, who didn't show up for court today. Link lies and says no.
L.J. tells Link about the visit from Mahone. Then Link gets to the point of the call and delivers a coded message: "On the third, look out for Otis Wright. Until then, keep your head up." L.J. looks as confused as I do. He says he loves his dad. (This whole time he has been pretending that he's actually talking to Nick, for the benefit of the guard standing by.) Link hangs up and tells Michael it's time to go. As they drive away, he drops his cell phone out the car window. (On purpose.)
Oh, Christ. I had hoped we'd seen the last of the vet and the Bag, but we have not. Instead, the vet has been stripped to his shorts and tied up on an exam table. So I assume he cooperated in this? Because if not, that magical hand is really healing rapidly. The vet tells T-Bag that his acts in this lifetime are going to determine his fate in the next. T-Bag says that he is "more a here-and-now type." However, he nonetheless counters with an alternate spiritual belief: the Native American idea that when one warrior kills another, he absorbs the spirit of his victim. Under this theory, the vet is about to become part of T-Bag. This is just about as comforting as you'd expect it to be. T-Bag proceeds to put the vet down by lethal injection. I'm sorry, but I just cannot get over the way that this bleeding one-handed freak has managed to completely subdue this able-bodied man without any realistic threat of force. GAH.
Did I do a good enough job of tying myself up for you, Mr. Bag?
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Comments (20)
Great job Amanda. This is a lot different than passions but still not that logical.
1 of 20 | Posted by campfiregirl
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Posted on August 30, 2006 3:03 PM
I love love love Prison Break...but my big issue with this ep. was how Michael & Link knew exactly when LJ would be in the elevetor REGARDLESS of the previously unscheduled visit by agent Mahone. T-Bag is the best...if anyone can get their hand sewed on by a vet without anesthesia and live to murder again, it's him. By the way, if that hand isn't a shriveling green stump soon, I'm going to be pissed.
2 of 20 | Posted by suedisco
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Posted on August 30, 2006 3:31 PM
Killer recap, Amanda!
I bet it's poor Sucre in the flaming ditch car. Boo! Why can't they kill one of the not hot guys?
3 of 20 | Posted by Strock9
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Posted on August 30, 2006 3:47 PM
Bellick's home life has me way confused. I could have sworn that when he didn't show up for work back when he was tied up underneath the break room, there was talk of calling his wife to find out where he was. Anyone else remember this? Now all of a sudden he only lives with his mom??
4 of 20 | Posted by fycin
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Posted on August 30, 2006 5:27 PM
Excellent recap! I thought I was the only one who was confused why they kept talking about Utah like it's a city and not an entire state. I also didn't buy one minute of T-Bag's miraculous hand recovery. I doubt the hand would have been any good since it took a while before T-Bag put it on ice. And there's no way a vet would have been able to do the complicated micro vascular surgery needed to reattach the hand. I went along with PB last year when they had death row Linc working alongside the normal prisoners, but this deal with T-Bag's hand seems to be asking a bit much of us viewers.
5 of 20 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on August 30, 2006 6:17 PM
I'll add my name to the list of people who are annoyed by people going to the land of Utah. T-Bag should have said, "Lead me to Xanadu!" Maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I thought the vet's car was a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and Jeep's don't offer OnStar. That's a pretty minor quibble compared to T-Bag's hand that magically works good as new 10 minutes after the surgery. Oh well, I suppose you can't make a good thriller anymore if it's realistic.
Amanda, not a bad job for a first effort. You're snarky without sounding like you loathe the show, a la Kat. Are there any plans to recap Vanished? This seems like it could be a good show, although Rebecca Gayhart annoys me already.
6 of 20 | Posted by Elder Young
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Posted on August 30, 2006 9:12 PM
Or maybe he thought that the Hippocratic Oath, or whatever oath vets take, obligated him to sew on this psycho's hand, just as a favor.
I think vets take the Hippopotamus Oath :-P
7 of 20 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on August 31, 2006 1:32 AM
Joyfulchicken (#7), your comment about the oath is hilarious!
Amanda, dear, you're great! Very insightful, just-the-right-amount-of- snark commentary. I don't have anything to add and wasn't even going to comment, and restating the obvious would only take up space. Keep up the great work! Too bad "Rescue Me" and "Entourage" are done for the year, but maybe you can take over those shows also when they restart.
Your English and sentence structure are awesome, beating even the legendary J-Unit and B-Side.
Just one little doubt. Are we sure Veronica is dead? Her shooting was the only one not shown. All we saw was the bad agent shoot SOMEBODY (maybe).
They'd better get to reality soon or just start doing the show as an animated comic book.
8 of 20 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on August 31, 2006 4:42 AM
Are we sure Veronica is dead?
TonyA, Veronica was shown with big bullet holes in her face. She is dead. She's not a Terminator, she's not Lazarus, she's just DRT, taking the dirt nap, expired.
9 of 20 | Posted by carewski
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Posted on August 31, 2006 7:02 AM
Great job Amanda!
As much as I love this show, it is starting to get utterly ridiculous. You don't break out of prison and hang out within a 100 mile radius of the prison for as long as these knuckleheads are doing.
TBag is freakin' hilarious....I wonder how many takes he needs to deliver his lines without laughing everytime they shoot his scenes.
10 of 20 | Posted by fulfill_the_dream_78
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Posted on August 31, 2006 8:58 AM
On a show where a vet at an animal clinic can successfully reattach a hand thats been chopped off with an axe with some gauze, chewing gum and a rusty knife and Dr. Tancredi can lie dead and rotting of an overdose in her apartment for 12 hours and then magically come abck to life with nothing but a headache, I don't think a few bullets to the brain can stop Veronica. ANd judging from her actions over the last season, her brain probably wasnt her most vital organ.
If it wasn't for Wentworth Millers smoldering sexuality, I'd have given up on this show.
11 of 20 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on August 31, 2006 9:09 AM
There seems to be quite a bit of dissent over T-Bag's miraculous recovery. Just how many hours post-severing did his hand lie around? A lot it seemed, considering it happened in the nighttime. It didn't go on ice until the next morning. Oh, and there's the whole bloody stump thing.
GM vehicles have OnStar, not Jeeps.
T-bag's recovery has set the show back a bit.
12 of 20 | Posted by BigTeebo
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Posted on August 31, 2006 9:12 AM
I liked the episode a lot, it was a quick hour. I am such a baby, I teared up when L.J begged his dad to let him go (in the elevator). I'm glad Bellick didn't off himself.
My big issue with the episode is T-Bag's damn hand! But I'm gonna let it go because it's probably on the show for comic relief. Actually, my main issue is that freaking Mahone getting the deal with the elevator so fast. GRRRR! Shut up, guy!
fycin (#4); When Bellick was stuck under the breakroom last season, they called his mom and she said he saw him leave for work. So they got that part right. :)
Great job on the recap, Amanda! Can't wait for next week!
13 of 20 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on August 31, 2006 9:14 AM
I have to admit Amanda, I was skeptical at first b/c I havent' seen your other recaps. Plus Prison Break is often my favorite and you did a great job.
Seriously, why was it necessary for the vet to be stripped down on the table? So ridiculous.
This might be weird but I think that LJ got hot all of a sudden! I mean he's no Wentworth, but something happened to him in between taping last season and this season.
Hopefully its not Sucre in the car dead, b/c they showed him driving a car in the preview. Classic Prison Break obvious mis-direction.
And lastly, Mahone is going to be the one to uncover the government conspiracy right?
14 of 20 | Posted by noodle
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Posted on August 31, 2006 10:07 AM
OK, OK, so I missed the scene showing a dead Veronica! Sheesh! Must have been when I went to the medicine cabinet to get some Valium to get through these episodes without losing my mind. I even yelled out loud "Oh, Come ON!" when the hand was reattached and the Otis thing went down.
I thought Fox had us suspend reality enough with the "24" series, where we're willing to forgive all kinds of weird, impossible things to enjoy the action. Re T-Bag's hand, there is absolutely NO F____ng way a vet could reattach it without all sorts of support staff, special tools, anesthetics, a proper O.R. and hours and hours of surgery. Once the surgery was done the hand would have been wrapped with layers and layers of gauze and the patient would have had to recuperate for days, if not weeks, at the hospital. Instead, a light bandage suffices and we're expected to believe the thing won't just fall off. The entire thing would have been rendered moot by the time that passed between its being chopped off and the time T-Bag got it in ice water. Dammit, I said I wasn't going to restate the obvious, but I'm so mad I'm never going to watch this stupid show again.
15 of 20 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on August 31, 2006 10:26 AM
Comment #4, I agree, I am pretty damn sure that Bellick had a wife. Also, I think its alittle weird that LJ got the whole 3rd Otis Wright thing...seriously..maybe I'm not that bright, cause I would have never seen it. I also thought it was strange that Abruzzi was so quiet, he usually always has some stupid thing to say.
Amanda, great job, you had me laughing out loud at work.
16 of 20 | Posted by mstar1
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Posted on August 31, 2006 10:40 AM
"I have to have the coordinates of the restaurant tattooed on my ass in the form of a fake phone number."
Nice work, Amanda. Thanks for reminding me about the whole Fibonacci thing, apparently the writers have forgotten as well.
I must be a nerd, because I actually thought of elevators as soon as Lincoln mentioned it on the phone. Otis is the grandaddy of elevator companies. LJ was surprisingly unretarded this episode.
17 of 20 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on August 31, 2006 11:24 AM
I was laughing when Tweener was in the train station, getting all paranoid. For a minute, I thought I was watching "Get Shorty."
Tony A (#15): Your sentence about T-Bag's hand falling off cracked me up. Now I won't be able to watch T-Bag without thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Hang in there, dude, and keep watching (read: snarking) with the rest of us.
Awesome recap, Amanda.
18 of 20 | Posted by HicksPub
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Posted on August 31, 2006 11:48 AM
Maybe Michael isn't telling him about Fibonacci because the whole jet escape thing was a bust.
19 of 20 | Posted by noodle
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Posted on August 31, 2006 2:13 PM
The whole Fibonacci thing is a dead deal anyway, since Veronica was Abruzzi's "insurance". He has nothing over Michael anymore, not that he probably knows it, but Michael does.
As for the lack of the President appearing, it seems the actress playing her quit the series prior to this season. Then again, they dug up a new actor to play Terence, so who knows.
20 of 20 | Posted by Romulus
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Posted on September 8, 2006 6:49 PM