Walk softly and carry a big stick. And also a smoke machine.
And the sewer is the star of the show this week at Sona, where the pipes, the pipes are sploding! Linc does like, several things that are clever, MacGyver Michael makes a triumphant return, and Bellick, blessedly, is finally clothed. Plus, Whistler is smokin' hot. Who knew?
3.02 Fire/Water. Hooray, it's Water Day! Michael waits in line for his 3 fingers of murky agua. The Tracy McGrady kid from last time, who I will call, because I am clever, Tracy McGrady, is making small talk with Michael, who is just barely humoring him. I guess a few months of being on the crap end of a huge government conspiracy and ending up in a nightmarish third world prison will turn you in to kind of a dick, huh? Not to mention the worst case of blue balls in all of recorded history. Bellick tries to worm his way in, and let's hear it for Wade Williams, everybody. Not only has he done a consistently fantastic job with this character, he's done three straight episodes limping around in filthy Fruit-of-the-Looms. Bravo, sir. Anyway, someone who looks a lot like Andy Serkis shows up out of nowhere to push Bellick to the end of the line. I will try to keep the Gollum jokes to an absolute minimum.
Tracy McGrady says the water's been out since the fabled Riot of Last Year, so they apparently just get the occasional barrelful. I'd like to point out here that it is very obviously eleventy billion degrees out there and Michael is the only guy in the yard wearing a long-sleeve T-shirt. I know it's a pain to get the tats on, but at least give us a little peek, huh guys? Just the arms? Wouldn't that give him some cred around there? I guess it's true to the character that he'd want to keep a low profile though, so fine, long sleeves it is. He tells Tracy McGrady he's looking for a guy named Whistler and Tracy's all "you and everybody else in here." Apparently he just disappeared. Of course, we know he's down in the sewer, eating rats and passing secret cryptic notes in dead guys' pockets, but Michael doesn't. Anyway, Whistler ended up here for (allegedly) killing the mayor's son in a barfight.
Skinny Black Fabio, whose nickname is no longer appropriate since he's ditched the "vest with no shirt" look that inspired it, is bullying some guy around for having food when he's supposed to be broke. We find out later that his name is Sammy, so Sammy it is. The guy's like, dude, you eat all the time, up there with your fancyass TV, let me have my chewy hunk of bread for chrissakes. Even Lechero, which is apparently the big badass's name, is trying to calm him down. In a moment of pure asshattery, Sammy pushes the guy over, sending him and the water supply tumbling to the ground. Nice, genius. Everyone just kind of stares as the water spills out everywhere, and Andy Serkis has officially had enough of this shit. Lechero assures him there will be more water, but he just kind of hisses incoherently and slithers away. It takeses our water! Tricksy thugses!
Great. Now it's all muddy.
Mahone is quietly freaking out in the corner, and he looks at Michael's water like "man, you know what would be good with that water, is a big handful of not-go-crazy pills!" Michael re-examines the note Bellick left in his pocket: "Versailles 1989 V. Madrid." Bellick hobbles up, Quasimodo style, and asks for water. Michael needs some information first: What the hell is the deal with this note? After a few sips of water Bellick talks: "This guy gave me some rat meat in exchange for putting that note in your pocket." Eventually he tells Michael where to find Whistler, and Michael sloshes through the sewer calling out for him. He's also sort of looking around, feeling pipes, no doubt memorizing the layout of the place. Cause he's awesome like that. "My name is Michael Scofield," he stage-whispers. "I was sent to get you out of here." Whistler's being shy though, and Michael's about to leave when he finally says "You're here to get me out of Sona?" Michael is surprised he didn't know they'd sent someone after him. Whistler's like, well, that's very kind, but the second another inmate sees me I'm toast. Michael sort of rolls his eyes. Dammit, it can't ever be just a straightforward old-fashioned prison break, can it? Always with the complications!
Credits. Chicken foot.
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Comments (12)
Loula, I am so in love with you! I have loved PB since the first time I laid eyes on Mr.Scofield and i look forward to your recaps as much as i do Monday nights. You have an impressive way of bringing out the snark in ways that makes me LOL and marvel at your cleverness and wit. I especially love all the monikers you create for each character and the way you turn a phrase! You remind me of my favorite TV writers at Entertainment Weekly (the Godesses of Wit & Snark, Alynda Wheat and Whitney Patorek)
Please tell me which other shows you recap, would love to read more from you!
Keep it up...reading your recaps is almost as good as watching with you, which i would so love do...Look forward to another season of your recaps.
1 of 12 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 26, 2007 10:47 AM
Mom? Is that you? No, really, thank you very much, that sort of thing makes my day. Right now it's just PB because I have one of those "grownup jobs," but I hope to be active in the off-season this summer. I love doing PB - I genuinely love the show, but it's also pretty easy to snark about, so it's perfect.
And my oldest dearest friend knows Scott Brown at EW, so if you go through me you are 3 degrees of separation from your goddesses of wit! You're welcome!
Honestly, thanks very very much for the kind words. Even if you are my mom. ;)
2 of 12 | Posted by loula | Posted on September 26, 2007 11:00 AM
Longtime fan. . .bal bla bal. I just have a couple of questions on PB.
1st. Does anyone know why Lin was called "Linc the Sink" at Foxboro? Is it because the sink is slang for prison?
2. It was very easy to get my gf to get into PB. At the time she had no TV and she als loves Young Scoefield as do all of her froends that now watch the show. Basically what percentage of the prison break viewers are women? Just curious.
3 of 12 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on September 26, 2007 1:51 PM
"Oh, Sensitive Noble Michael, you make me swoon more than Wet Michael and Angry Michael combined."
Love it, love your recaps of this show. I totally agree with everything mamabird said.
OK so why can't Maricruz just go back to that Mexican farm with Auntie or whatever, and they can meet up there and live happily ever after like there original plan?
Also if Dr. Sarah doesnt come back eventually it will really suck, where's the payoff? Poor Michael. I'll hug you.
And for a prison with no guards they are surprisingly efficient with their prisoner visits. They must have a sweet PA system set up in there.
4 of 12 | Posted by trivial | Posted on September 26, 2007 2:59 PM
Loula!!! Great recap, great photo captions, great use of the verb asshattery(or is it an adjective?) I heart Kellerman!!! And i think jody is a wet napkin her acting sucks, and please her threatening Linc? please his glare could break her in half.
5 of 12 | Posted by lloyd dobbler | Posted on September 26, 2007 3:48 PM
Great recap, great photo captions, great use of the verb asshattery(or is it an adjective?) I heart Kellerman!!! And i think jody is a wet napkin her acting sucks, and please her threatening Linc? please his glare could break her in half.
6 of 12 | Posted by lloyd dobbler | Posted on September 26, 2007 3:52 PM
mattypopo: I could probably google the demographics, but I'm at my "real job." I did hear on Marketplace that PB is the #1 most pirated dvd in all of China. For some reason. I would guess it's a pretty even split though, just because yes, there are attractive men, but there's also lots of like, punching and shooting and torture and all that sort of thing, so it can't just be a bunch of girly girls watching it.
Re: Linc, previous, cursory googling indicated that it was because he would "come at you with everything but the kitchen sink" which I don't believe because it's kind of stupid. So let's just pretend there's a better reason we don't know about.
trivial: I was thinking about that, and I think they're probably both wanted in Mexico too from when they ditched the cops at the airport. I think they both realized that wherever she is, if she's with him, she's always looking over her shoulder. Which will get harder to do the more pregnant she gets, and then they'll have a baby to lug around. Even in Panama the cops were sniffing around him and scared the nice lady away. So I guess it's just kind of like, well, we tried, but it's just a dumb idea.
lloyddobbler, "asshattery" is in fact a noun, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to put my really expensive graduate degree to some use. Any other grammatical questions, I'm your gal.
7 of 12 | Posted by loula | Posted on September 27, 2007 9:16 AM
So my ten year old daughter cracked up when she read the title of your recap and some of the screencaps over my shoulder yesterday....
Fortunately for me she totally gets the snark which could be a direct result of her environment, but I digress.
Loula, I would love to continue a conversation with you offline (I want to pick your magnificent brain) so if you are inclined and able to get my email address off this post, I would heart you forever.
PS....sensitve michael makes me swoon more than angry and wet michael combined too! although wet michael is pretty hot.
8 of 12 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 27, 2007 1:07 PM
So my ten year old daughter cracked up when she read the title of your recap and some of the screencaps over my shoulder yesterday....
Fortunately for me she totally gets the snark which could be a direct result of her environment, but I digress.
Loula, I would love to continue a conversation with you offline (I want to pick your magnificent brain) so if you are inclined and able to get my email address off this post, I would heart you forever.
PS....sensitve michael makes me swoon more than angry and wet michael combined too! although wet michael is pretty hot.
9 of 12 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 27, 2007 1:09 PM
So my ten year old daughter cracked up when she read the title of your recap and some of the screencaps over my shoulder yesterday....
Fortunately for me she totally gets the snark which could be a direct result of her environment, but I digress.
Loula, I would love to continue a conversation with you offline (I want to pick your magnificent brain) so if you are inclined and able to get my email address off this post, I would heart you forever.
PS....sensitve michael makes me swoon more than angry and wet michael combined too! although wet michael is pretty hot.
10 of 12 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 27, 2007 1:11 PM
OMG....sorry about the multiple posts! apparently my computer hates me today.
11 of 12 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 27, 2007 1:16 PM
Loula,
Hey! I am at my real job! With a down market and bad interest rates the phones are all but dead. I thought about the "Kitchen Sink" line and I guess I would expect those criminal minds to be more creative with their nicknames. . . then again. . .
I was going to go to grad school for an MA in English Li. Pray tell, what can someone do with that (besides post comments on Tvgasm?)
12 of 12 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on September 28, 2007 3:13 PM