FOX is doing viewers a disservice by airing Prison Break and "24" back to back. They are creating a Zombie Nation; that is, watching these two shows makes viewers so frantic and frazzled, no one is able to get to sleep until 2 or 3 AM every Monday night. If and when these guys ever get out of prison, they're going to be so bored with the real world that they'll yearn for the excitement, socialization, and danger of prison life again. They certainly seem to have it better than I do these days - exciting poker games, art classes, loads of recess time, sex on demand (albeit freaky tranny sex, but still...)
Okay, so maybe our hero Michael doesn't have it so good at the moment - stuck in the psycho ward trying to have a meaningful conversation with ol' Haywire. The problem was that Haywire was so hopped up on goofballs that he couldn't think straight, let alone remember his former cell mate - yes, the 4 month hiatus FOX forced on us seemed to have affected Haywire too. Like, who the hell remembers that Michael stole his toothpaste to use the tube to store his corrosive agent that he squirted into the infirmary's drainage pipe?
Uh-oh, Haywire just remembered that! And he was about to kiss Michael, full on the lips (see pic)! And without toothpaste for such a long while, how would Michael react to the bad breath? Answer, after the jump.
Ah, Haywire wasn't trying to kiss dear Michael; he was only getting up in his grill because that's what all the prisoners at Fox River seem to do to each other. Their little tête-à-tête was broken up by Nurse Ratched and her pills. Michael, not actually being insane, refused his meds. This brought the wrath of the giant nurse/guard enforcer guy who forced Michael to take his meds. But giant nurse/guard enforcer guy missed his final exam at Nurse/Guard Enforcer University since he failed to check under Michael's tongue, a rookie mistake if I've ever seen one! As a result, Michael spit out his jagged little pill and continued badgering Haywire.
Across the yard in Gen Pop, Bellick and his pasty sidekick Geary were rubbing their hands in greedy glee at the prospect of auctioning off Michael's old cell. With Sucre in the SHU and Michael gone batty, their cell would be a hot commodity what with its view of the whole block and relative cleanliness. Location, location, location. Geary immediately had a taker for 200 bucks - but he reneged when he noticed the - GASP - leaky toilet.
Westmoreland and C-Note got wind of the "auction" and sprung into action - they needed to "win" the cell and keep the toilet truth under wraps. C-Note promised to get 500 bucks, no problem, and set about collecting from some of his boys in the yard. While C-Note was forcing people to cough up money, Michael was alone with Haywire forcing him to cough up his meds. Michael tricked Haywire into opening his mouth and then - HIYAA! - he jammed his fingers down the psychotic man's throat, forcing him to vomit. Which we got a nice view of on the floor.
Without the pills, Haywire started coming around to reality a bit more and began to remember Michael's tattoo. "It's a path," he muttered, bringing the first smile to Michael's face in quite a while. His brother Lincoln, however, was certainly not smiling when his dumbass son called to say that he was in juvie after having stolen a gun and shooting a buffalo jerky salesman in the neck. So now poor Lincoln was dealing with a brother that went crazy and a son who was being held for 2 murders he didn't commit and 1 attempted murder he did. What could be worse? Oh, yeah... That whole gonna-be-executed-for-a-murder-he-didn't-commit-thing. Damn, Linc, your life, fleeting as it is, really sucks.
Secret Service agent Paul Kellerman's life wasn't faring much better at the time. Still on the mend from his gunshot wound, he was surrounded and set upon in the middle of a Chicago street. It was apparently one of those special downtown Chi-Town streets with no traffic whatsoever on it. In all my visits to the windy city, I've yet to find that street. Kellerman was accosted by Brinker and her cronies who essentially admitted the whole conspiracy was far greater than he and that he was now to roll over and simply be Owen Kravecki, jerky jerk. Hmmm, Brinker, I know a well at a remote cabin that's got your name written all over it...
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Comments (10)
OH YEAH, Abruzzi's back. One question though, even though the show was on a 4 month hiatus, I thought show time was only a few days in the future. That gash to the neck must not have been as bad as I thought and they rushed him back to the open arms of gen pop pretty quickly.
And as much as I get the whole Michael and Tancredi love connection...he IS a prisoner stemming from a little stink we call armed robbery! It might be more believable if she were in on the plan and knew that Michael was a great guy like we do. Otherwise...eww!
P.S. - you said "Bang kok" and "fingered Geary" in the same recap. What a man.
1 of 10 | Posted by RealityTV4Me
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Posted on April 21, 2006 7:06 PM
Great re-cap sg-dub. I can't believe more people don't make comments on this show. It's a great show!!!!
2 of 10 | Posted by 2mville
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Posted on April 22, 2006 3:43 AM
The crime of 'ugly' was too easy to pass up, ay? :)
I'm just waiting for this show to be over. I like it and everything, but all the miracles are getting a little tiring.
3 of 10 | Posted by BethW
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Posted on April 22, 2006 7:35 AM
I can't believe how easily I can forget what a sleazeball T-bag is. He cracks me up and I like him more and more all the time.
4 of 10 | Posted by dahrache
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Posted on April 22, 2006 8:16 AM
I unfortunately sat down with my dinner just as Michael was making Haywire vomit. Lovely.
While I'm glad Abruzzi's coming back, I think Prison Break needs to take a page from 24's playbook and start bumping major characters off.
5 of 10 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on April 22, 2006 9:57 AM
Another great crazy guy line was when Michael first cornered Haywire in the closet and Haywire said, "I'm not wearing a diaper."
Great recap!
6 of 10 | Posted by pbjunkie
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Posted on April 23, 2006 6:07 AM
Great recap sg-dub!!!
This show cracks me up. All these 'miracles' are still good because it gets the story moving though. I fell for the 'quiet ride through the country to see little LJ thug... nothing bad will happen to the van' and actually screamed when I saw the truck hit Lincoln's van. Yeah, I am so gullible.
Can't wait for tonight's new episode!
7 of 10 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on April 24, 2006 9:51 AM
dahrache - I agree completely. Actually I have to admit that T-bag is now my favorite. Never know what insult he'll hurl out there and make me giggle. :)
My husband pulls out his pocket and tells me to hold it. LOL.
8 of 10 | Posted by AngTexas
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Posted on April 24, 2006 10:56 AM
I hope in the next ep of Prison Break that Lincoln goes missing after being hit by the truck...and when we "find him" and he awakens from unconsciousness, he's on a little island off the west coast and now goes by the name...say it with me...JOHN DOE!!!
How great would that be?
9 of 10 | Posted by Cantstandya
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Posted on April 24, 2006 10:57 AM
Tnanmks for the recap. I missed this episode (the ONLY one I have missed!) Can't wait for tonight!
10 of 10 | Posted by mstar1
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Posted on April 24, 2006 11:33 AM