As a service to you, dear readers, I didn't watch this week's episode of Prison Break until Tuesday evening. Why? Because Monday was my birthday and I wasn't exactly in the most stable state of mind to watch the show as intently as I need to for TVgasm. Chalk that up to a few Citadelle gin martinis (slightly dirty, with blue cheese stuffed olives -pretentious enough for you? Rest assured, I drink beer 99% of the time I drink. And usually crappy beer at that.) Also on Monday night my beloved, beleaguered, besuddenlyshitty Philadelphia Eagles were busy getting beaten by the DallASS Cowboys - thoroughly ruining my birthday. Sigh.
But you don't care about me - you came here to read about the racism, rapes, murders, conspiracies, and the ingenious escape plans of the "Prison Break" crew. Each week there seems to be a different tone to the episode - the all out violence "Action flick" feel of the long forgotten "Murderous Riot of 2 Weeks Ago," last week's "Hallmark Channel" feel... This week, the entire show was full of humorous dialogue with a rather lewd reference to a rare type of sexual act. That's right, a good old "Rusty Trombone" was thrown in for good measure. Have I mentioned how much I love this show?
Last week ended with a rather cryptic reference to Michael's "wife," whom I tabbed a "Sexy Latina." Well, I was wrong on both counts. We learned that his wife, Nika, is really not all that sexy and being from Prague, she doesn't even know what a quesadilla is. Something is definitely fishy about the whole wife thing, because Michael is still busy flirting with Dr. Tancredi - a woman more on his level. The good doctor had saved the origami flower he made for her and seemed to take pleasure in checking Michael's shirtless deep breaths. Was something actually wrong with his lungs? Or was Tancredi simply aiding her fantasy about his deep breaths pressing his chiseled sweaty chest lustily against her own supple pert bosoms; dreaming that he slowly slipped his rock-hard manhood into her slippery love tunnel?
Hello?! Harlequin?! You have my number! Guccione? Al Goldstein?
Cabin Update: Out in the middle of nowhere, the Mighty Quinn was preparing to surprise Nick, Veronica, and LJ. Remember he had somehow pinpointed their location via tracing her IM. He produced a random piece of sandpaper and proceeded to give himself the most brutal shave ever. I initially thought he was simply trying to ingratiate himself with Veronica... By sanding down one cheek, he'd be able to win her over saying, "Look Miss, you and I gotta stick together! With the looks and jeers we get for our mutual disturbing inverted cheeks!" Alas, he was merely trying to give the impression that he'd been in a car accident. Boring... At least he avoided getting caught in a cougar trap. ("24" is only a couple months away!)
On the work detail, tensions were running high. No one likes T-Bag and his racist digs were only exacerbating the problem. After Abruzzi called him "Sergeant Sodomy," and told him to get digging to give Suge Knight (I don't think the show has ever told us the black guy's name yet, so I'm sticking with his doppelganger) a break. "Oh, I don't know, it's too dark in that hole," referring to Suge's skin tone.
Suge didn't skip a beat, replying, "Are you telling me that there's a hole in Fox River you don't want to get into?" Damn, that was a good one. That's the 2nd clever pun Suge has said - but apparently humor is not something T-Bag enjoys (well, with a name like "T-Bag...") and he got up in Suge's grill. Nothing came of it, but Suge did call the Italian Abruzzi, "Fusilli" which made me chuckle. Like Fusilli Jerry. See, now some of you are chuckling too.
A guard came and announced that Scofield had to leave the group for a conjugal visit from his wife. This, of course, caught the others by surprise; Michael had never mentioned anything about a wife! Bellick was also taken aback - but he was even more taken by the Eurotrash appeal of Michael's wife. In fact, he knew he had seen her somewhere before. Michael didn't bang the woman (Nika) but rather got a credit card from her that she had smuggled in. Michael bid Nika adieu with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
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Comments (22)
happy birthday
1 of 22 | Posted by Mandi | Posted on November 16, 2005 9:31 PM
Happy birfday.
"Sergant Sodomy" - best line ever in Prison Break. Those writers are brilliant.
2 of 22 | Posted by British | Posted on November 16, 2005 9:47 PM
The awkwardness after Tweener asked Michael about his 'mama's breastesses' was comedic gold.
3 of 22 | Posted by Pickle | Posted on November 17, 2005 2:06 AM
When is our hottie inmate going to kiss Dr. Tancredi already? Okay, yes, I'm am missing the hookup action from Laguna Beach :(
4 of 22 | Posted by Lauren | Posted on November 17, 2005 5:44 AM
It is Westmoreland's daughter who is dying from cancer not his sister. Other than that awesome recap and Happy Birthday!
Best episode yet!
5 of 22 | Posted by abcb | Posted on November 17, 2005 6:11 AM
Could a "Dirty Sanchez" be far behind?
6 of 22 | Posted by Panic | Posted on November 17, 2005 6:29 AM
Panic - you took my line. Props to you my friend.
SG, Happy Birthday! mine's tomorrow....
This show NEVER disappoints. Just keeps getting better and better. I just hope they don't pull a Soprano's and make us wait until May to see more.
7 of 22 | Posted by september | Posted on November 17, 2005 6:49 AM
september - you do realize that is exactly what they are doing, right? We gotta get in 24 uninterrupted episodes of 24 Monday nights at 9:00 before we get to see the big escape ya know.
Also, what is PI? I know what it means but what do the letters stand for?
8 of 22 | Posted by RealityTV4Me | Posted on November 17, 2005 7:13 AM
Here's a little game: you actually mentioned Suge Knight's character's name in your write-up.
Also, now that Arrested Development and the Kitchen show have been cancelled, there's room in the Monday night schedule for more PB.
9 of 22 | Posted by pbj | Posted on November 17, 2005 7:17 AM
Let's paint a picture. You're being held captive by an evil agent witha gun. He's already shot someone. You finally get the upper hand and knock him over the head with a chair. do you:
Hit him repeatedly and make sure that he is unconscious, tie him up and take his gun.
or;
Just run outside immedialty and just assume that as he is lying there with his gun in his hand that he wont wake up within 20 seconds ans start shooting.
I hate that crap.
10 of 22 | Posted by EdHill | Posted on November 17, 2005 7:21 AM
Wigger is slur. Obviously.
There used to disclaimers that said "Not Work-Friendly" before questionable links. Not that I would click on anything in such a context as this was mentioned.
Black prisoner's name is C-Note.
11 of 22 | Posted by Lady J | Posted on November 17, 2005 7:56 AM
Alls I'm saying is that Seargant Sodomy is the title of a pretty popular gay amateur website. Anything you want to share SG?
12 of 22 | Posted by Scott | Posted on November 17, 2005 8:22 AM
Lady J -
1) I struggled with the term "wigger" for a good while before posting. I asked several people of multiple races what they though. Despite my own reservations, majority ruled. I think it's become more just a term to make fun of poseur whiteboys than evoking the obvious root word.
2) I put a little disclaimer re the rusty trombone link.
Scott -
Abruzzi really did call T-Bag "Sergeant Sodomy." But if what you say is true (and I'm sure it is), that makes it all the funnier.
September -
Yes, only 2 more episodes until 24 is over in May or so. I'll do my best to keep the fire alive over the winter months... I have some ideas. But it still totally sucks. It's like FOX is dropping a Cleveland Steamer right on us.
13 of 22 | Posted by sg-dub | Posted on November 17, 2005 8:42 AM
i guess PB writers wanted to stay in theme with T-Bag's name and dubbed C-Note that name because his whole name is *supposedly*...
Ben Franklin....get it?
14 of 22 | Posted by TT | Posted on November 17, 2005 10:19 PM
Such a stellar recap. And now I don't feel quite as bad about watching my own beloved Eagles lose to Dallas on Monday night... at least it wasn't my birthday.
Love the caption under the Tweener vomit photos!! Hilarious!
I also thought that maybe they'd bring back PB sooner now that they cancelled Arrested Dev. and Kitchen Conf. But they can't put it on in that same 8pm time slot... too early for a show that embraces the t-bag and the rusty trombone...
15 of 22 | Posted by flymotha | Posted on November 18, 2005 1:54 PM
Happy Birthday Dub.
Great recap. That "love tunnel" thing made me fall off my chair, you are so funny.
That rusty trombone thing is nasty, i would rather die a virgin then ever do that.
16 of 22 | Posted by Vanessa | Posted on November 18, 2005 5:16 PM
Remember, our two beloved Agents covered the well with the lid constructed from old planks that did NOT get broken when dear Quinn crashed through and shattered them, Ahem
Amusing...
17 of 22 | Posted by iClod | Posted on November 18, 2005 9:07 PM
Happy Birthday, Mr. Dub. I too enjoyed the Rusty Trombone reference, but I was even more thrilled to learn what a "Rusty Gillespie" was. You really can learn so many things from Prison Break (and then Wikipedia too, I suppose).
18 of 22 | Posted by B-Side | Posted on November 18, 2005 11:18 PM
the foreign girl is holly valence, male viewers may want to do a google image search. She is better as a blonde pus she is autralian.
19 of 22 | Posted by bob
|
Posted on November 20, 2005 11:06 PM
RealityTV4Me-
PI = Prison Industry
20 of 22 | Posted by michelle | Posted on November 21, 2005 9:22 AM
The very second that Nick showed interested in helping Veronica, I knew he was going to get shot or shot-and-killed...i was betting the later though....
Like someone else already mentioned--why in the world was Veronica on frickin Instant Msnger to begin with?!? I guess the plot can't really move along in some instances unless someone does something stupid every now and then.
2 episodes left...
21 of 22 | Posted by CapoStat | Posted on November 21, 2005 5:28 PM
the newest episode was fucking INSANE! i hope you do it justice, Dub!
22 of 22 | Posted by TT | Posted on November 21, 2005 8:19 PM