Speaking of Tancredi and convenient twists, over in New Mexico, she saw an opening and ran out of the building and over to Mahone's car. She wanted to drive away, but unfortunately, Mahone hadn't stored a key on top of the visor. I guess that whole "manhunt" thing got in the way of proper key storage. Luckily, the good doctor had a trick up her sleeve: she knew how to hotwire a car. I mean, of course! She was a drug addict! All addicts know how to steal cars!
Inside the building, Michael managed to hurt himself, and even worse, he had boxed himself into a corner. All he could see were locks and propane valves. Hmmm... might there be a plan brewing?
Back at the torture house, T-Bag was experiencing some mild intestinal woe. You know, the sort of happy fun that comes with passing a key through your rectum. Tasty! Well, Bellick's buddy Roy (I finally looked it up) had the unenviable job of poking through T-Bag's feces, and before long, the two guys had their key. They tied T-Bag to a radiator -- oddly choosing to let him keep his right arm free -- and then hightailed it out of there (but not before calling 9-1-1 and tipping them off). As we left the house, we watched T-Bag struggle to get free, pulling intensely against his bonds. Was he going to rip his hand off to get free? That would have been disgusting to say the least. You know, I avoided Saw for a reason, but after watching Prison Break, I may not need to.
Back in New Mexico, Mahone was this close to capturing Michael. At one point, he walked into a corner -- the very same corner that Michael had been in just minutes earlier. Suddenly, there was a clatter as Michael swung a chain link door closed, locking Mahone in. Ah ha! Oh, and Mahone couldn't shoot Michael in defense because Michael had turned those propane valves. One gun shot, and they all go up in a burst of flames. Yay!
Well, as you can imagine, this all turned into an intense scene as the two men mixed it up, saying what they each planned to do and whatnot. Michael said he was innocent, Mahone babbled on about how he didn't have a killer instinct, blah blah blah. At one point, the evil agent mentioned something about Panama, which had Michael (and me) wondering how the heck he knew about Panama. Did he have a mole? Who could it be? C-NOTE??
Nevertheless, Michael and Sara drove off in her car (which she had fetched in the meantime), and over at the Kansas bus depot, tweedle dee and tweedle dum found T-Bag's million dollar bounty. Yes, it all seemed like everything was perfect for these two, but one can never underestimate the power of greed. Even though they were right in the open, Roy took out that kitchen mallet and demanded that Brad hand over the bag. GOOD GOD! HE HAD A MALLET! It was almost as horrific as T-Bag's screwdriver of doom!
Well, Bellick laughed it off, causing Roy to unleash a mallet fury on his head. The angry sidekick quickly felled his friend and ran off with the money, saying, "Next time, you look through the crap!" And just like that, Roy ran off with the money, hopping on the nearest bus and disappearing into oblivion. Meanwhile, how did no one not just see the mallet bludgeoning? It's not like they were hidden from view. I guess these things happen all the time in Kansas. Another day, another mallet-ing.
Meanwhile, Sucre was still at the pay phone, and since it was clear that Maricruz wouldn't be calling anytime soon, he decided to call her again and leave a message on her answering machine. Never mind that he was an escaped convict at the center of an intense nationwide manhunt, he still left pretty much all the details of his whereabouts out in the open. Of course, that wasn't before he painted a lovely picture of his aunt Idalis's Mexican farm. "Listen to me," he told the answering machine. "My aunt Idalis, she lives outside Mexico City in the mountains on a farm with a llama for the baby to ride." A LLAMA? Well! Why didn't you say so earlier? Maricruz will be THERE!
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Comments (11)
Hey B-Side, how about you recap like every episode of every show on here? I mean no disrespect to any other writers, they are great and keep me coming back, but you are MJ to their Charles Barkley.
P.S. - If you no longer need to avoid "Saw" then netflix "Hostel"...that should make you grimace/puke.
1 of 11 | Posted by Steve
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Posted on November 12, 2006 12:28 AM
I enjoyed this recap almost as much as I enjoy this show. Maybe it's the total hotness of Wentworth Miller but I LOVE this show.
Anyway, I thought Tancredi was ripping the wiring out of Mahone's car so he couldn't chase them.
And I'd like to nominate 'Dick' as the worst nickname ever... but 'Link' is definitely up there.
2 of 11 | Posted by carabiner
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Posted on November 12, 2006 7:14 AM
b-side, this was hilarious. none of the previous recaps have captured the sublime absurdity of 'prison break,' a show where logic and reason have been out to lunch for so long that it wouldn't surprise me if people started pulling off rubber masks (a-HA!! it was you all along!!). t-bag's magic hand has to take the prize for 'biggest insult to the viewers' intelligence,' right behind the implication that wentworth miller likes girls.
one minor correction: the key sarah tancredi was fondling did not come from michael, but, rather, was discovered by sarah on the floor of her father's office when she found him hanging by the neck from his own belt (conveniently, the dastardly minions of E-vil president elliot's-annoying-wife-from-thirtysomething are clever enough to mastermind a fake suicide by the governor of illinois and nominee for vice president, but failed to notice a stray safety deposit box key on the freakin' FLOOR when they were wiping the room for prints).
last season was just as ludicrous, but somehow more believable (or, at least, enjoyable). maybe leaving behind the prison setting is part of the problem; maybe it's just that michael scofield is sort of turning out to be a bit of a second-rate super-genius, what with all of the clumsy slip-ups and bone-headed plays.
ah, well. it'll have to do until '24' gets started.
3 of 11 | Posted by jack
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Posted on November 12, 2006 7:31 AM
I keep telling myself not to get hung up on the logic lapses, but the whole "meet me in one hour" and "the fax came in 20 minutes ago" thing was painful. Sometimes I think the writers aren't just careless, they are actually fucking with us.
That being said, I think carabiner is right, Sarah was disabling Mahone's car.
I'm enjoying how much trouble Scofield is having this season. It's nice to see hime struggle a bit more with how he can't control everything, while still coming up with his Wile. E. Coyote plans. I really liked the hotel scene between him and Sarah where she called him on how much he got off on it.
Oh, and someone please kill off Sucre. I will never, ever, care about his plotline.
4 of 11 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 12, 2006 8:42 AM
Either my gaydar is completely turned off or my hormones are overriding it. Wentworth Miller is HOT!!! Oh, wait a minute. Most guys I think are hot are also gay. Well, CRAP!!
5 of 11 | Posted by RealityTV4Me
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Posted on November 12, 2006 10:11 AM
Wait, did Christmas come early this year? B-Side recapping TV's most ludicrously entertaining show? Sweet.
6 of 11 | Posted by Ms. Tumnus
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Posted on November 12, 2006 6:52 PM
I have to read these re-caps every week to remind me what happened. I don't pay much attention to the show. I only watch for Wentworth ~swoon~
7 of 11 | Posted by LuvzSunshine
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Posted on November 13, 2006 8:45 AM
I don't even watch the show anymore. My head was about to explode with rage at the illogical plot twists. But I confess I come here to TVG for solace and companionship. This week it's a special treat, having the mighty B-Side do the recap himself. Amanda improved over Umnata (I think it was him), and now B-Side brings his unique style and super sharp snark to what is easily the dumbest show on TV. So dumb that people watch just to rail at it.
So, come on in and stay a while, B-Side. We like your style.
8 of 11 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on November 13, 2006 9:27 AM
Fox sent us an advance screener of tonight's show. I won't spoil anything, obvs, but there is some ridiculous, ridiculous shit in there. Like, it makes NO sense.
All I have to say is: slow-mo shell drop.
9 of 11 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on November 13, 2006 9:37 AM
The recap was great B-side. I agree, the show just makes you totally suspend belief. Everyone gets away at just the right moment. So many chances, more than 9 lives. And yet, I still watch.
10 of 11 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 13, 2006 10:14 AM
I'm trying to guess what the big 'secret' will be that they keep hinting at in the commercials. If it's not totally ridiculous, then it wouldn't be PB. No other show has me on the edge of my seat one minute and laughing at how ridiculous it is the next. I love it!!
11 of 11 | Posted by carabiner
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Posted on November 13, 2006 10:19 AM