Michael, using Self's crude drawings, has identified the model of wall safe in Orin's office. They can't fake his fingerprint even if they could get into his office, which they can't. Also, the safe has a seven thousand digit combination and is made of layer upon layer of an impregnable Kryptonite alloy, or something. So their only option is drilling through, with something really big and really loud, surrounded by Federal employees, in the middle of the day. But hey, Self happens to know the guy in the office next door well enough to ask him to lunch, so he can at least get them some alone time in that room. In theory. If they make it that far. Self reminds them that there are people whose job it is to cover every base and make this kind of thing impossible. Michael, with uncharacteristic but charming and well-deserved bravado, scoffs that they had those guys at Fox River too.
In the Situation Room of the Warehouse of Justice, Sara and Roland are helping Mahone track Wyatt. They know what time the credit card was used, and that Sara noticed him on her walk home about a half an hour later. These guys are efficient! Mahone uses this information to draw a 9-mile radius around the bar where Wyatt had to have come from. It's going to be a motel, close to the freeway, the kind that doesn't ask too many questions.
T-Bag, struggling, amusingly, with a tea bag, asks Booberella for a fresh cup, but "TrishAnn" (who are her parents, Cletus and Brandine The Slack-Jawed Yokels from The Simpsons?) can't leave the desk at the moment. Also, it's not 1962 and this isn't Mad Men, get your own damn tea, sheesh. But what has captured TrishAnn's attention so? Why, it's Bellick and Sucre, holding up a photo of Theodore Bagwell, Notorious Psychopath Cole Pfeiffer, Greatest Salesman Ever. They ask if she's seen this guy, cause um. They're from an insurance company, and um, this guy just inherited a bunch of money, and they're offering $10k for anybody who can point them in the right direction. It's a thoroughly lame cover story, and Booberella tells them she doesn't know the guy. Bellick gives her his number just in case, and they leave, much to T-Bag's bewildered relief.
So hey, showtime! Self gets into the parking garage with no problem, and he backs his enormous Church Van up against the wall so Michael and Linc - wearing suits - and Bellick and Sucre - wearing generic maintenance guy clothes - can spill out into the elevator. Sucre gets the elevator to stop between floors so they can crawl up through the empty shaft and into the air ducts.
"Heavens, no, that wasn't a threat! That was a delightful story about leprechauns!"
T-Bag is hiding in his office when Booberella confronts him; a couple of guys just offered her $10k to give him up, but she figures Cole Pfeiffer has a better offer. Ooh, sneaky. T-Bag is kind of impressed,. "Why, TrishAnn, you just caught yourself a leprechaun!" Her wish is that he relinquish his commencement check, and here's where Robert Knepper gets to do that awesome hellfire preacher thing he does so well. It's true, he says, going from charmingly eccentric to lock-your-doors batshit nuts in 6.0 seconds, that leprechauns are bound to grant their captor's wishes. But! "If they deem her to be greedy or covetous, whatever she desires will certainly be accompanied with Disastrous. Tidings." That last bit is sort of hissed out very deliberately, in a way that makes you go, oh right, I remember this guy! He's fuckin' scary! Clearly, Booberella is not used to being outcrazied, but neither is she smart enough to know what she's up against. She revises her offer: 3% of his commission. Done! T-Bag can afford to spare 3% of zero dollars. Check and mate, Chesty.
Self shows up for his lunch meeting with Orin's neighbor Sam Middleton, but Sam was planning on eating in. Self quickly saves the day by claiming he's a vegetarian. As they head out, he not-especially-surreptitiously squirts a hilarious amount of ink onto the carpet outside the office. Bellick and Sucre drop down from the ceiling into a supply closet and have a brief encounter with a fortunately dense employee, whose shirt Michael's nose bleeds on from the grate above.
Topic: Is this in fact the sexiest nosebleed ever? Discuss.
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Comments (6)
Another frakktastic recap. Thanks for the shoutout, Loula! You made my day. And the Michaels and their McGyver tendencies combined with the fact that they are both "smoking hot genius superhero" types (heh!) makes for some entertaining television. And I totally regaled my co-workers with the keyboard cleaner breaking locks fun fact after I saw that. (how awesome was that, I mean really...)
I loved your take on Sara and thought Sarah with an H rocked that scene...and had good car ju ju to boot!
1 of 6 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 25, 2008 6:54 PM
Well...apparently I am long winded today. Part 2--
Mahone and his wife. That scene was brilliant. Her gasp when she saw the picture of Bailey's Husband...as a mom, that knocked the wind out of me for a second. Well done, Callie Thorne. Last two thoughts..."topical economic clusterfuck joke redacted due to insufficient funds"...HA!
And what was in the damn bucket! Ideas, anyone?
2 of 6 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on September 25, 2008 7:00 PM
I didn't see your comment until way after you posted it, but I was actually thinking that during the Burn Notice finale, that it was reminding me of Prison Break. Replace the wackiness with angst and they're pretty much the same show. Which is awesome.
I assume the bucket was a chum-like soup of terrible, terrible things. That's all I need to know about it.
And yeah, the timing of this economic meltdown arc is creepy, especially since they made it clear that Laos is just practice for the ultimate goal. It's the General's fault! Make him pony up the $700billion!
3 of 6 | Posted by loula | Posted on September 25, 2008 7:36 PM
Unrelated to the episode - Do you remember when Lincoln, actor Dominick Purcell, played the title character in the Fox show, John Doe? In that show, He was the one that knew everything there was to know and He was the one leading the charge against a mysterious group of people (the Phoenix Organization). Now he plays the brute brother of the genius.
John Doe was awesome.
4 of 6 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on September 26, 2008 11:44 AM
First Self's story was about "bearer bonds", not "bear bonds".
And doesn't every office have tiled carpets now? The snarky secretary (apparently working through her lunch hour) might have wondered why they didn't just lift up a couple of tiles and replace them instead of spending an hour cleaning them in situ.
5 of 6 | Posted by AlanHK | Posted on October 1, 2008 6:45 PM
PS-- forgot to mention the wonderful "whatever technology" (as used on CSI and 24) photo enhancement that turned the fuzzy longshot of the general into a tasteful high-res studio-posed portrait.
6 of 6 | Posted by AlanHK | Posted on October 1, 2008 6:52 PM