Prison Hiatus - 
by sg-dub
Yeah, yeah I hear ya - what's the point of recapping a show that aired two weeks ago? I don't have an answer for that, nor do I have a legitimate excuse for why I waited two weeks. But if my inbox is any indication, there are at least a handful of you who can't live without the recap, no matter how silly it is at this point. Do you even remember the "Fall finale?" I didn't, so I re-watched it last night and got pissed off all over again. I could try to convince you that I purposely waited on this recap in an effort to bridge the months until the show airs again... But you wouldn't believe that, would you? Sigh. For what it's worth, let's get to it, shall we? (The first seven paragraphs below were written way back when the show aired.)
I've been a big Prison Break backer throughout the season - hell, even before the season started I was giving it props based on buzz alone. And while there were no nip slips or spoiled blonde kids from Southern California on the show, I know that hundreds if not thousands of TVgasm readers have been watching along with me. So what does FOX do to thank us for our viewership? Let's put it this way: FOX is T-Bag and we're nubile young petty thieves with firm buttocks and pretty cheekbones. And we're alone. In a darkened room. And FOX is feeling really, really feisty.
The network has a history of pissing its viewers off - and I won't even touch their "News" channel. The first season of "24" was rife with random long breaks throughout, "Joe Millionaire" did something that upset its viewers (I forget), and don't even get me started on Babes. Why they ever cancelled that is beyond me. So how was the "Fall Finale" of our exciting little show? It was “lapdancerific� - frustrating, exciting, aggravating, and left me wanting more. And I only have to wait until f'ing March to be satisfied. Stupid FOX.
The show opened with Abruzzi lost in a Wellbutrin commercial. Not really, but in his near-death fuzzy state, he imagined lush green hills and bright sunlight above - rather than the reality he was suffering through. That is, a slashed neck, blood pouring all over, Dr. Tancredi offering little to no hope, and the cold, gray, unforgiving skies above Chicago's Fox River prison. A helicopter appeared and whisked him away. Abruzzi will certainly be missed - he was a rather complex character and the anticipation of him actually kissing one of the people he close-talked was always compelling drama. But he ain't dead yet - and later phone calls to the hospital proved inconclusive as well.
Of course, somehow T-Bag got away with the heinous act on Abruzzi and was already milling about with his boys; Suge (C-Note) Knight, Westmoreland, Michael, and Sucre. (This will be the last time in which I refer to C-Note as Suge, because his name was finally uttered doing the episode.) T-Bag, upon watching Abruzzi being taken away, drawled, "And then there were six." C-Note replied, "As far as I know, it's five."
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