Socket To Me! - 
by sg-dub
Damn, this was a good episode. It was also one of the meanest hours of television I've ever seen. If you saw it, my title alone probably caused you to squirm. If you didn't watch the show, not only do you have no excuse, but you're missing out on a great pun, suckers. For now, let's just say that chopping off pinky toes with garden shears isn't the dirtiest trick in Abruzzi's book.
The show opened with a rather uncomfortable shower scene featuring T-Bags' "Boy" who was begging Michael for help - naked. Unfortunately, Mr. Bag witnessed this quick discussion and launched into one of his high fallutin' "Southern Gentleman" diatribes. He reminded Michael of the delicate position he was in and his "propensity to be gregarious." Wow, quite a vocabulary for a so-called "retard" whose sister is also his mother. Michael tacitly accepted his position and silently walked away... Only to run into the Bagger's prison bitch again. This time, the kid was on his knees begging Michael - err, maybe not the best description, since they were in the prison shower and all. But I must say, the wet look really works for Michael.
More begging was going on up in the Warden's office where Lincoln Burroughs was again asking to be allowed to somehow get in touch with his son. Riiiiiiight. Keep in mind that everyone except 4 people "know" that Lincoln murdered the VP's brother. Also, remember that Lincoln's son that he so badly would like to talk to is the lone fugitive suspect in the brutal murders of his mother and stepfather. Why would the warden (or anyone) give any sympathy to Lincoln in light of this?
The best part was when Lincoln nonchalantly asked the warden if he would "let him out" to find his son. Because, apparently, wardens can allow such things in times of "family emergencies." Fortunately, the warden isn't a complete simp and shut down the ridiculous request. Lincoln capitulated but did ask for the pillow menu again - the Persian goose feather down with silk case one he was sleeping on just wasn't working out. Oh, and perhaps he could get Fiji water instead of that bland old Evian they keep forcing on him too. I mean, really!
Later, the escape boys were busily working on the guard break room trying to make it hospitable again after the fire. Or, more accurately, they were busily smashing the floor in an attempt to create a hole big enough to escape down into the underground pipes. In the process they were creating a bunch of crushed cement rocks and dust. Apparently Michael had watched "Shawshank" a few too many times as he determined that each guy had to carry out and slowly distribute the rock around the prison yard. Now, they were pretty much gutting the building - a little rock dust would have been ok to throw in the dumpster along with all the wallboard and other junk, no?
Too bad for Michael and his crew, Suge Knight also had cable and watched "Shawshank" one of two of the million times it was on TBS. Ok, it wasn't really Suge Knight, but a large bearded black dude who witnessed Michael depositing the distinct white stone material of the building's floor. (This was the same guy who secured Michael the necessary medicine to make his blood appear diabetic way back in the premier.) Uh-oh, looks like yet another prisoner was about to join the escape train.
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