The subtitle of this recap, if one existed, would be, "The Kindler, Gentler Prison Break. There was only one murder, no suggested prison rapes, no forced eyeball removal, no lopping off digits... No, instead we saw love budding all around; from Michael and Dr. Tancredi to Nick and LJ to Philly Falzone and Abruzzi to Lincoln and blueberry pancakes. Oh yeah, we did have a nasty broken finger - but he TOTALLY deserved it.
Lest you think this love fest made for a boring or cheesy episode, I assure you it did not. It was another solid humdinger of a show - seriously, you people should all be watching this show.
It opened with a desperate Abruzzi playing solitaire out in the prison yard. You see, now that Philly Falzone (mmmmm, with melted cheese and mushrooms) declared Abruzzi dead to him, all his friends had abandoned the poor mobster. So he's forced to play solitaire. And here I thought lonely prisoners merely masturbated all day long.
Abruzzi confronted guard Bellick again, begging him to give him another chance. Too bad - Bellick is as dirty as they come and since Philly is paying Bellick dirty money, no dice. Falzone's money is what keeps Bellick working at the prison, and he's beholden to his whims. So Abruzzi hit up Michael again for the info that would set this mess straight again - the whereabouts of informant Fibonacci. If he would only give up this info, Falzone would be happy, Bellick would get paid, and they could get their escape plans back on track. Eh... me? I'd still be masturbating all day.
Abruzzi actually made some sense, so Michael turned to the sage advice of his older death row brother, Lincoln. We finally got why Fibonacci is so important to Abruzzi and his friends; he witnessed a double murder and was prepared to testify against the mob. His testimony would put some powerful people away for a very long time - and we all know the mob isn't too keen on that idea.
In other words, Fibonacci was an innocent man who did the right thing who will be killed if Michael gives up the info. As Michael said to Lincoln, "If you are to live... A good man has to die." Um, Michael, you are equally indirectly responsible for the deaths of Lincoln's ex-wife, her husband, that Laticia lady, the apartment super, Bob the guard, fake Thom Yorke sex slave kid, T-Bag's first sex slave, and nearly Lincoln's son plus Veronica and Nick. At this point, who the hell cares about some fat Italian guy in Topeka? Oops, I hope Philly Falzone doesn't read TVgasm!
Out in the free world, the evil Secret Service agents were stewing in some empty downtown office building. vicepresident thirtysomething called and confirmed their whereabouts, telling them to await her "Friend the problem solver." Oh please, please, please tell me it's Harvey Keitel, reviving his role from all those movies! Before we found out, the wimpier, quieter, less murdertastic agent was showing his hand - he was having regrets about this whole thing because they had gotten "in so deep." Kellerman responded, "Keep talking like that and I'll put a bullet in your head." Perhaps this "problem solver" could work out the tension between these two... I mean, sheesh, get Kellerman in some "Workplace Relationship Remediation" class down at HR or something.
Back at prison, the new work detail was getting closer to finding the hole in the floor, Lincoln was rejecting the form to request his last meal, and Suge Knight was making his move. He called over Jellywad, the guy who got his eye removed with the light bulb last week. [Household hint: If a bulb ever breaks and is still screwed in - don't try to remove it with your hand! Simply grab a potato, jam it onto the shards, and then twist out! Up next, how to bandage your bloody hand after you try to remove the bulb without the potato.]
"Hey, 'I-tie'," Suge called. I thought for a second he was making fun of his lack of one 'eye' somehow, but then I realized it was a semi-derogatory term for a gentleman of Italian descent. This became clear as Jellywad referred to the gentleman of African descent as, "Rughead." Is it fair to call a black dude "Rughead" if he's bald? I mean, as far as racial epithets go, that's pretty stupid, right? Anyway, Suge wanted a job with the current work group because he figured Michael's group was digging out through the building and he wanted to be part of it. He agreed to pay the Guinea WOP $150 bucks a week and that was that.
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Comments (26)
Wasn't the flower made out of paper? This is my fav show! Great recap.
1 of 26 | Posted by Tish | Posted on November 10, 2005 7:19 AM
Awesome recap...this really is a great show! When Fibonacci witnessed the murders, do we know who the murderer was? It sure did look like Abruzzi to me. Do we know who the murderer was and I missed it? If not, could it have been Abruzzi?
2 of 26 | Posted by PrisonFan | Posted on November 10, 2005 7:31 AM
I think we should just fire the army and teach the poor origami.
All my love to the first one who knows this reference. :-)
As much as I want steely blue eyes to hook up with Dr. T, I keep having to tell myself that he IS a prisoner. WE know he is a good guy, but she doesn't...yet.
3 of 26 | Posted by RealityTV4Me | Posted on November 10, 2005 7:37 AM
The slang term for the CIA is "The Company"
Just droppin a little knowledge prison style
4 of 26 | Posted by Panic | Posted on November 10, 2005 7:39 AM
sg-dub, you are awesome. Great recap! Seriously, everyone should be watching this show.
5 of 26 | Posted by A | Posted on November 10, 2005 8:03 AM
The 'fire the army' reference is from 'Shine' by the Newsboys. Everybody check it out....
6 of 26 | Posted by MW | Posted on November 10, 2005 8:39 AM
RealityTV4Me, how about the lyrics to "Shine" by Newsboys?
Quinn is the man! I loved his line to Kellerman about how there was no need to go to the hospital to get his finger checked out.
I enjoyed the Fibonacci fake-out, although an address of 11235 Eureka Avenue would have been even better.
That Veronica Donovan is one stupid bitch! Nick takes her and LJ to a cabin that nobody else knows about. Good idea. Then she thinks, "You know what? Let's turn on my IM so that the bad guys can find me." Bad idea. I'm so hoping that Quinn will take her out.
Can't wait to find out the dirt that Kellerman has on our fearless VP.
7 of 26 | Posted by The Dogg Pound | Posted on November 10, 2005 8:44 AM
I liked "The company" guy. I thought he was going to be some Markus-like guy(he acted just like Markus in the first few minutes), but he ends up being this Cleaner like guy, just like Harvey Keitel in Point of No Return.
Nice to see the secret service dorks getting in trouble. I wonder if they will turn on the company guy.
I originally thought halfwa y through the episode the mafia guys would get the secret service guys out of the picture.
8 of 26 | Posted by British | Posted on November 10, 2005 8:45 AM
WHERE'S MY LAGUNA RECAP!?!?!?!
9 of 26 | Posted by EdHill | Posted on November 10, 2005 9:17 AM
Canadian Vocab Education Lesson #1:
Yes, we do say "eh" a lot, but it's usally at the end of a sentence meant to illicit a response. I.E. "Awsome episode of PB last night, eh?" or "Michael is so hot, eh?"
Anyway, great re-cap as usual!
10 of 26 | Posted by shelley | Posted on November 10, 2005 9:45 AM
Ehehe.. I love these recaps and I love this show.
11 of 26 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on November 10, 2005 10:00 AM
Harvey Keitel in "Point of No Return" had absolutely no social skills. He could never have Columbo'ed people like Quinn did. That Cleaner character was some elevated psychopath they recruited for cold-eyed killing (acid on live people?). Dude had no soul.
Michael could have made all this work to advantage. They're unanimous in wanting to get rid of T-Bag. They should have just had the Black man kill him as an entrance fee. All neat and simple.
12 of 26 | Posted by Lady J | Posted on November 10, 2005 10:05 AM
Tish is right. Michael gave the doc an origami flower (remember he's talented that way). So it will never die...
13 of 26 | Posted by megs | Posted on November 10, 2005 10:16 AM
sg-dub, you f'n rock! I laughed so hard I thought I was aboot to pee at my desk reading this recap. Love the Youngblood reference!
14 of 26 | Posted by jhw | Posted on November 10, 2005 10:56 AM
I seriously am baffled by how this show is going to continue for another season. But I swear to god if the season ends before the escape I am going to write a letter of my dissatisfaction.
15 of 26 | Posted by smithie | Posted on November 10, 2005 10:58 AM
umm, yeah, definitely an origami flower. sorry bro. you must have been getting sleepy at this point, because that was kind of THE point. paper flowers do last. until a fire anyway.
16 of 26 | Posted by willy | Posted on November 10, 2005 11:28 AM
So not only do I love this show more than words, I was all kinds of excited when I saw that Fibonacci was in TOPEKA KANSAS not Canada like they'd said. I'm from Kansas and actually go to school less than 30 mins from Topeka...so that's all I wanted to say...umm Wentworth is hot!!
17 of 26 | Posted by Lia | Posted on November 10, 2005 11:29 AM
FYI: Wentworth (aka sex-on-a-stick YUM!) will be featured in the upcoming People issue of the sexiest men alive.
Not like we didn't know that already!
18 of 26 | Posted by RealityTV4Me | Posted on November 10, 2005 12:23 PM
sgdub: Wheres the sexy Michael pic to start off the recap? I'm dissappointed in you :(
19 of 26 | Posted by Krystal | Posted on November 10, 2005 12:48 PM
Hey, speaking of not connected to Halliburton... anyone else know that Michael Moore has 2000 shares of Halliburton stock?
20 of 26 | Posted by sandman | Posted on November 10, 2005 1:09 PM
Krystal -
You know what's funny? I actually thought of you and your comment last week and tried to find a good shot of him - if only to keep your joke alive.
Oh well... next week. I promise.
21 of 26 | Posted by sg-dub | Posted on November 10, 2005 3:12 PM
i love these recaps.. keep 'em up, i come here and read the PB recaps every week! to save tying, i echo meg n Tish n willy's comments on the flower.
and T-Bag's 1st sex slave is like... the only death in the show that Michael's NOT indirectly responsible for.
wait. wait. wait... Abruzzi(and maybe Sucre) doesn't have that good of a vocabulary as all the other prison people:
Michael: You're an *exhorted* man, John.
Abruzzi: WHAT?!
LMAO! I thought you were gonna mention that line, but you didn't. :(
22 of 26 | Posted by TT | Posted on November 10, 2005 6:33 PM
Okay, so the cast of "Blind Justice" has rolled over here (Nick, Quinn) to pick up a paycheck from Fox. I'm just waiting for Ron Eldard to show up as a blind, pistol-packing prison guard with marital issues. No doubt that Michael would help him out too, you know, as he's on his way to rescue a litter of puppies from a well or something.
23 of 26 | Posted by HicksPub | Posted on November 11, 2005 7:51 AM
I like the recaps, but I'm missing the INTENSity
24 of 26 | Posted by Mr. Negativity | Posted on November 12, 2005 2:58 PM
FYI: nika (the woman michael spoke to on the phone) is of EASTERN EUROPEAN descent, not hispanic.
so yeah, that "spicy latina" comment was totally wasted.
sorry.
25 of 26 | Posted by the awesomeness | Posted on November 13, 2005 7:03 PM
Very brilliant recap. Does anyone know who's the guy playing Quinn? His face looks so familiar to me. I must have seen him somewhere else on TV, and I just have no idea who this actor is.
26 of 26 | Posted by millermania | Posted on November 16, 2005 10:05 PM