Project Runway: The Every Day Woman Is A Fattie

This week on Project Runway, the challenge is to design for a fashion icon that even makes Tim Gunn giggle like a little girl. And we're auf!

Timnervepersonals
This should be your profile pic on Nerve Personals, you stud.

A few of the boys sit around the living room trying to remember the eliminated bland blonde girl's name. Sandra? Hillary? Wait...oh yeah. Simone. Also the title of the infamous 1993 flop starring Al Pacino and some other bland blonde chick who was only around for a week. The thing that makes bland blonde's auf wiedersehen truly astounding to the boys is that it means Elisa, the wacko who creatively visualized her poor model into a skin tight stretch cage with a five foot long "poop" train coming out her bony ass, survived even one challenge.

Rami is the first to call it out, but since it's only the second episode of the season, he's as polite as possible. Instead of saying "that bitch gotta go", he says that he liked bland blonde and thinks she knows more than Elisa about how to dress a woman. Cut to Elisa clipping one of those big clunky barrettes awkward girls in coffee shops wear when they wanna pass for deep to the side of her head. She tells us that she looks forward to taking what the judges had to say and "incorporating it into my own process of creation". Hmm. I guess you can word it however you want to. Just don't suck so much this time, hon.

One of the elements that makes this show so awesome is the double helping of broken dreams heaped onto our plates each week. The designers usually stick with their girls as the competition progresses, leaving the model's game more about luck than skill; but in the first few weeks the uggos and the seniors are out. If I had to guess who was going home I'd say it's between these two:

200711232031Modelwaddle
Yentl and Model Waddle

Heidi, in her bitch is back boots, brings out the black bag to choose picking order. Rami, who won first dibs last week, stays with his big faced corn fed farm girl next door, and most of the designers follow suit and pick their original models. Ricky breaks the trend and steals the beautiful Lisa from Elisa. Who can blame him? His model last week was Model Waddle. Treating the models like they are invisible is how I feel superior, so I won't go too far into the cattle auction here, but I will say damn. There are a couple of girls who look like they're auditioning for a Huggies commercial. What's the age minimum on this show?

Pauper2
Please sir, can I have some more?

The bottom two are Model Waddle and what looks like a fifteen year old girl with a goofy under bite. When Waddle is told she's too hideous and old to live, she looks at the panel of designers like they just might start laughing and shouting "punk'd! You're totally the hottest!" When they don't, she gets teary. Aw. Back to the nickel slots, hag.

This week's challenge is to design for a pop culture and fashion icon, but our coy little der betrĂ¼ger won't say who. She leaves that for Tim to announce the next morning. The designers are atwitter. Who could it be? Past icons have ranged from Cher to Jackie O to Barbie, so all they can do is guess wildly.

Madonna? I'm so sure. Carmen guesses Britney. Group moan eye roll. "Come ooon! She neeeds it!" HA, Carmen. Rami and Sweet P hope for Snow White, and I can't hear the rest of the guesses because those damned huge white sunglasses Jillian insists on poking into her kinky fro have my full attention. It looks like she's wearing Howard Stern as a hat.

Howardstern
Who feels like tossing a midget?

The vacationed sun kissed world traveler look thankfully put to rest this episode, Tim Gunn shows up at the work space looking tight assed and dapper, as he should. Eyebrows frozen in that "you might not like what I have to say" way he has, he tells the designers to brace themselves for the guest. I'm crossing my fingers for Chita Rivera (what? She's kind of a fashion icon. Ok, sorry, I just haven't seen her in years. Is she still with us?), but the mystery judge is better than anyone this show's come up with yet, and yes that includes you, Barbie. Sara Jessica Parker! HOLLA!!!

Project Runway: The Every Day Woman Is A Fattie Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (16)

CheriesTake:

Man this show is great. I'm so glad crazyface is still there. Kinda sad to see sad squiggy leave though. Poor thing.
Love the recap!

moxy:

LOL...sad squiggy!

Flipit, Thanks for the good laugh. I laughed out loud so often that my husband thought I was losing my mind.
What a great writer you are...really special around here. Salute.

justina:

flipit I've been reading your recaps since your first one, they are all great. I finally had to tell you that:) thanks for entertainig us!!

Lime23:

Oh my. In preparation for Thanksgiving festivities, I (accidentally?) hurled myself down a flight of stairs & now it literally hurts to laugh. D*mn you, Flipit! It hurts!

ReeseWitherspoon:

Loved your FIDDLER screencap. I laughed out loud.

Also, I think that Nina Garcia might have been pregnant or nursing when this was filmed. Maybe that's why she shows no signs of the botox.

vivalasvegas:

I love reading the recaps, so I finally registered because I have to share what I know... regarding the be-hatted crying Ricky, I have worked with him. He conveniently left out all of his career experience when he vaguely interviewed, "I came to NY to dance, and well... I ended up with my own lingerie collection". He did not mention the years of working for other people, designing a licensed collection, and walking off that job literally an hour before he was fired. Another big scandal ensued at his next company, and I heard he was threatened with a giant lawsuit for certain conduct at that job. He showed his collection at a trade show, received small orders, and promptly went out of business. The next I heard of him, he resurfaced on this show! I have to wonder if the Bravo producers did any sort of background check on the people they choose to have on the show... beyond the mess that is his career, he is a nasty spiteful person with horrible taste- both these facts were the reason he was about to be canned before he walked off that first job I mentioned (with no notice- very classy). I told several coworkers that he's on the show, and were so thrilled he was in the bottom three the first episode! One more thing- those are purely crocodile tears being squeezed out for the camera.

flipit:

you're not allowed to use botox when you're preggers? that's when you need it most! like wine. lame.

lime, feel better! i hurled myself down the stairs on purpose this tday. wah me. thanks so much for commenting guys. and thanks for the gossip, viva! i can't wait to see little ricky craaaaaack. what a dope. LOVE

juddfan:

Hey Flippy!!!! So nice to start my return to work with your refreshing dish! I wasn't hating on Ricky . . . but now . . . well, I think I'm buying what you're selling flipit--withdrawing . . . I know I weep my ass off when I'm out of clean needles--and forget that spoon burning shit . . . I need ready to shoot!!!

Very ho-hum fashion this week, for me, I was confronted at the water cooler and I had to squeeze my little brain to remember anything, other than top 2 and last. Are capes in!? I thought leggings were a fashion don't . . . they certainly are in my world! (unless accompanied by fishnets!)

Something about that Steven guy was bugging me . . . next to go!?

PixieGal262:

"No, God Complex, it's a hypothetical. Christian gives her permission to say he should go since it was his design and she squeezes out some salt as she chokes "him."

I started coughing I laughed so hard at that. My little sister and I are sooo on the same page. I looked at her and she said "Jeez calm down, she's asking who you want to go home not the gas chamber."

memememe:

Great recap!!

I learned two new things from this episode. 1. Steven might be a serial killer. Or Art Garfunkel's cousin. 2. Sarah Jessica Parker has far less fashion sense than most people give her credit for.

cfab:

so I went to S&B to buy the winner dress and vest (not to wear together, me being in the Midwest, we don't typically mix and match like that). Anyhoo - the dress is there in plum and black - v cute. But, it is SO shorty - would definitely need pants for fear of showing your Britney. And, without the vest, it is very shapeless - so I sort of looked like I had the shape of a purple pumpking. With the vest on, it was much more flattering. The jury is still out on if I would purchase, but thought I would give you my 2 cents...

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

Flip, excellent recap!

dojean:

Steven's nickname should be Slingblade.

jazzhandstheworld:

This recap was truely excellent. I spit out a peice of cake when I read the Elisa cootchie licking bit.
I want to add some other factoids though. Steven does have a super crazy way of speaking, but he's no Slingblade. As someone who's dated him he's totally hot in real life, and probably much better looking than anyone who is sitting around home so much that the think using "Slingblade"as a pejorative is still a viable as comedy. Also Steven works at a museum, but one hastens to add, he's a secretary at that museum- not an exhibit maker. Word to your mother!

flipit:

Steven and Jazzhands sittin in a tree...:)

jeanhyclak:

Jazzhands-
Yeah, you're right. It was a stupid comment and a dated reference at that. Just a note of caution, though: if there is anything tougher than the world of reality television, it's the blogs about reality television. Much tougher than what you've probably run into while dating museum secretaries. Be prepared for your ex and his fellow contestants to be savaged weekly. First by each other and next by the blog commentators. The judges remarks will be the least painful things they hear each day. Have fun.

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