This week on Project Runway, our mystery guests make the designers do this:
As there are fewer and fewer designers left, the tension is mounting. While Jillian plucks her brows and Christina turns into Kit Pistol (eyeliner, blue eyeshadow, roots, check! There's a new girl in town!), Sweet P musters up some kinda tears for everyone's favorite drag queen parade float designer. It's always sad to see a likable person go home over a shady freak like Ricky, but I have to admit I am happy that I will have the chance to watch Ricky's inevitable mental breakdown. I'm sick like that.
Sweet P says she's gonna miss Chris and there's gonna be a "big void" in the house now. I study her to see if she meant to make a fat joke, but I can't tell because she's tearing up and pulling at her bangs like a crazy person.
The birds! The birds!
Jack doesn't have time to worry about his fallen friend because he's in the other room nursing his bleeding nose. He's had a couple of skin staff infections before but he was hoping this was just gonna be a simple pimple. Now it's out of control. Straight guy smiles at him and tilts his head at different angles to show off his new cutting edge facial hair sculpture.
Dude, your nose is bleeding. Notice anything different about my face?
Heidi comes out wearing a skirt in a similar print to Ricky's hat, and it's the first time she's pissed me off this year. Today's guest is a mysterious surprise! When the model stands behind the white screen, no one can figure out what it is. Sweet P always has the best guesses, and she says it looks like a tranny. LOL, Sweet P. Wouldn't that just kill Chris? None of the guesses are flattering. An eighties quarterback? A busboy from Medieval Times? Princess Fiona? Oh, sweet model. When even your shadow is homely, you're in trouble.
It's Highlander!
It's an ex fat woman in a huge wedding dress. Poor thing looks like she got left at the alter and refused to go home and eat dinner without a husband. For ten years. As she is joined by a parade of moderately big women in clothes that are way too big for them, the designers react like they're being poked with needles. Steven squints at the women trying to figure out if he's seeing right and Jack kneejerk covers his mouth so fast his nose starts bleeding again. All lined up like that, the models look like a female prison production of A Chorus Line.
One of these things is not like the other.
Yay! A real person challenge! Or, as this show likes to refer to them, an "Everyday Woman" challenge! Bring on the bacon! The bony bitches were put back in the toy box this week and no one's happy. Well, the designers aren't happy. I'm thrilled! Nothing scares a designer like being forced to make clothing actual normal human beings could wear, and nothing makes me happier than scared designers. It's a circle.
The real person challenge last year was when Jeffery finally crossed over the line to the dark side by yelling at Angela's whiny ridiculous difficult mother and making her cry (I'm no fan of Sibilia, but that bitch deserved it). Yay! There's hope for this season yet! The women have lost anywhere from fifty to a hundred and sixty pounds each. That's a lot of will power, and a lot of skin. I hope Bluefly donated a few cases of Spanx and duct tape, suckas. You're gonna need it.
Thankfully, Heidi assigns them models by picking names out of a bag instead of turning this into a junior high dodgeball draft. The biggest fear is getting stuck with the bride to may be someday, and Steve is the unlucky one. He smiles and waves at the woman, but he's not smiling when he's alone with the cameras. He says it feels like death on a stick. This is the first time I've ever seen him mad! It's kind of disturbing.
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Comments (30)
"It's Highlander"
Ahahahaha. I LOL'd at that one and I rarely do that. I do so look forward to your recaps Flipit. Brills!
And I cried over Jack's situation too! He just seemed so truly heartbroken. Poor guy...
Great recap...keep it up!
1 of 30 | Posted by caseyrae | Posted on December 14, 2007 6:55 AM
I felt sad for Jack too - you could tell he was so heartbroken.
But I nearly did a cartwheel when they brought Chris back; I absolutely love him! I just wish he hadn't added the red to that skirt...
Anyway, I nearly choked on my breakfast when you said that Kit Pistol had turned her model into Jordin Sparks and then iced the cake by captioning "Kit Pistol - this is your now" on the pic - Hi.lar.rious.
Thanks for the great recap!
2 of 30 | Posted by nakabe | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:07 AM
what a fantastic morning! instead of studying for finals, I am greeted with recaps for Real World AND Project Runway! Flipit, you complete me.
I have been sorely disappointed with season 4 of two of my favorite shows (oh office, i miss you) and PR. I'm really sick of "innovative" challenges, I want to see the designers make something real that showcases their talents. Oh yeah, and I want Ricky gone. I cannot even believe he cried when his model put on his clothes. Good god, Nancy, grow a pair.
3 of 30 | Posted by watermelon | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:08 AM
Wow - I absolutely love Project Runway, but this week Flipit's recap was so much more entertaining! Especially: "And...sex drive rendered useless. Thanks for keepin me safe, Ricky!" haha!!!!
When Chris came back I literally leaped off the couch as if someone walked in to my apt and saw me drinking directly from the wine bottle! I couldn't believe it!!! So imagine my sadness when his outfit turned out pretty hideous - Please get your shit together for next week, Chris!
I have to disagree about Joey Fatone's top though, it looked like it would just take one quick tug and we'd all see some unfortunate stretch marks...also the reason I never go strapless but that's beside the point..
Anywho - peace out Steven - my guess is when they bring you back to help out the top three designers I will have to remind myself who the hell you are, but its all good -
Feel better Jack!
4 of 30 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:18 AM
Jack's contorted face looked like the surgeon in that "Twilight Zone" episode called 'Eye of the Beholder' where the woman in bandages is revealed to be beautiful and the whole medical staff looks freakishly weird.
Google the image "twilight zone eye of the beholder" for yourself.
5 of 30 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on December 14, 2007 8:56 AM
Flipit-
It was Irma La Douce the Shirley Maclaine film that Michael Kors was refering to, not Sweet Charity.
6 of 30 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on December 14, 2007 9:09 AM
Am I the only one not really feeling the Chris March love? He seems like a nice guy, but those shoulder pad were truly hideous and I thought his first week dress looked like something I might have picked out for my high school prom. Is it that people think he's a cool guy or that he's a good designer?
7 of 30 | Posted by myfavoritesunglasses | Posted on December 14, 2007 9:18 AM
thanks you guys!! you are cracking me up this morning. joey fatone? twilight zone? LOLOLL
and thanks, foxbase. you are right and i am mortified that my gay trivia was that far off. shirley maclaine was a dime a dance girl in sweet charity. i'm not a whore, i'm a dancer!! had to change it.
and sunglasses, i agree. i just like chris cuz he's sweet and fun and i liked the drag queen outfits in his portfolio. he prob doesn't have a snow man's chance in hell of winning this thing. anyhoo thnx and LOVE
8 of 30 | Posted by flipit | Posted on December 14, 2007 9:40 AM
Poor Jack, must agree. So sad to see someone visibly hurting and shaken--but I guess he's okay as he's dating Baldhawk, so lucky! ahem, and perhaps he'll be back next season to finish what he started . . .
Thanks for the joy you bring to all you do, Flipit! I'm addicted to your thorough screen caps, so nice to get a second look at the clothes and get your opinion.
I actually thought this was a great episode (Jack aside) I enjoyed them having to remake the clothes into something else. Jillian did cheat, but I guess she didn't have enough "un-darted" fabric to make the dress. I liked the lines, Flip it . . . . they were so lovely! I did love how the women loved their new looks, and tried to sell them, very sweet, and congrats to them!!!! Too bad they wont get to wear their new fashions, as I think the designs get raffled off at the end (remember Angela's Audrey Hepburn dress, I think it's the top seller to date, by quite a bit--and it didn't even win that week!)
I know you liked Steven Flip, but . . . hm . . . .I dunno, he talked like he was always sucking a lemon, and it's really TART! Not hating tho, absolutely hated Chris' outfit, ugh, that seaming on the bust line--was it supposed to go underneath to lift and support, coz cutting up a nipple line with a million little pleats is just so wrong--forget about the belt! Even so, seeing it again side by side, not that bad.
I'm also not convinced Steven couldn't have done something with that dress, Laura's styles come to mind with the beading and all, but oh well.
Anyhoo, thanks for the recap!!!
9 of 30 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 14, 2007 12:42 PM
Sunglasses: I guess I like Chris just because he's Chris. (Err, um, oops: I'm sorry, was this supposed to be about talent? My bad.) I'm going to take the position that Chris was/is a good designer; he just lost some of his confidence/mojo after his auffing. Hopefully, he (& Elisa) will do better next week.
Poor kind-of-creepy Stephen had to go. (Actually, he seems less creepy to me if I think of him as French Stewart, as someone pointed out.) I don't see how he was so terribly disadvantaged by the wedding dress, since HE DIDN'T USE ANY OF IT in his design. He was basically in the same position as Jillian. Who ended up in the top 3.
Speaking of Jillian, I agree that she basically "cheated" & did not deserve top 3, but I didn't think the dress was all that bad. Gee whiz. I'm totally fooled by the optical illusion of darting. Totally.
10 of 30 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on December 14, 2007 2:44 PM
If it wasn't for these recaps, I would have no Project Runway. Damn you iTunes for not carrying it this season!!
So having not actually seen the show, I'm picturing Chris to be a little like Kayne from last season... only fat. Am I right?
11 of 30 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on December 14, 2007 3:24 PM
Snootchy, good analogy, Kayne was different, but they are both on the drag queeny exagerated side of fashion. speaking of Kayne, he was a tad more outrageous, so far from what I've seen of Chris. He did not know how far out he was pushing things sometimes. Guess we'll see . . . chris has a sweetness about him, maybe more-so too. Anyway, just my opinion. I hope it was just the last minute 3 in the morning, picking up someone's half finished work that went wrong . . . and like you say Flip it, smash that head, and make him not think costume . . .
12 of 30 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 14, 2007 4:13 PM
I was sad that Jack had to leave. I liked him, but he looked strange to me. I couldn't figure out what it was. Then I realized he looked like a Who from Whoville. ("Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze!" anyone?)When I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he was thinking that Jack looked like those creepy doctors/nurses in that TWILIGHT ZONE episode with Ellie Mae.
13 of 30 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on December 14, 2007 5:20 PM
Guess I won't be bragging about having dated Steven at any more cocktail parties this Holiday season. Oh well.
I'd put my mom in Christian's outfit and I think she'd work it.
Why did they have to bring Chris back? I think they should have given Carmen new life. At least she liked puffy sleeves and side-of-the-head buns. That's jazzy. That's style. That's sheek.
14 of 30 | Posted by jazzhandstheworld | Posted on December 14, 2007 5:20 PM
ReeseWitherspoon-
I bet you're a lot of fun in a cancer ward. Do you and your boyfriend pee on homeless people you see on the street?
I think Jack deserves lot sof props for being totally open and casual about his HIV. Much better than that other queen they had on Top Design.
15 of 30 | Posted by jazzhandstheworld | Posted on December 14, 2007 5:25 PM
Reese -- I thought the same thing! And it's not mean, it's just that Jack happens to have an upturned nose. To be honest I had already thought he looked like a Who before he even got sick, just because of the nose.
Also, Flipit, THANK YOU for calling out Stephen's design as the pilgrim costume that it was. Nina & Michael kept calling it "French Maid," which ... no. No no no.
16 of 30 | Posted by myfavoritesunglasses | Posted on December 14, 2007 5:44 PM
jazzhandstheworld: All I have to say is, "Ew to you, Winnie-the-Pooh!" All I said was that his nose looked like a Whos nose. I didn't say anything derogatory about his disease or something like that. You make it seemed like my bf and I torched the Make-A-Wish Village in Orlando, FL. Calm the f. down.
17 of 30 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on December 14, 2007 10:15 PM
ReeseWitherspoon: don't sweat it. I agree with you about Jack's look. It sure looks like he has had surgery(ies) on that face. It *figures* that there's someone here willing to call you names just for being honest. I hate political correctness. Jazzhands, save your vitriol for someone that listens to kneejerk responses.
Anyway, I'm even meaner: I thought "Planet of the Apes" instead of Whoville. Sorry, but I did. It's clear that he's on top of his health issues and kudos for that. And I would certainly never wish for him harm, much less wish anyone have to live with AIDS. But there's something up with his facial construction. Google old pictures of him and you can see a clear difference.
18 of 30 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on December 15, 2007 12:19 PM
Juddfan: Oooh thanks for the comparison. Kayne was always my favorite... how could you not love a guy who loves the bedazzler that much?! So now officially, Chris will be my favorite. Let's hope he can pull some chiffon and sequins out of his arse and really make a name for himself. And that name would be Queen Chris... and I would love him.
19 of 30 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on December 16, 2007 6:19 AM
Actually, its a staph infection not "staff"
20 of 30 | Posted by Kphilips | Posted on December 16, 2007 10:18 AM
I'm with memememe. I thought jack looked like Helena Bonham Carter in Planet of the Apes, but I can see the Who angle. And reese, don't sweat jazzhands. you stated an opinion that obviously other people were thinking, too. jazzhands needs to grow up.
21 of 30 | Posted by SpeedRacer | Posted on December 16, 2007 10:37 AM
ANYWAY...
I totally would have made a white satin trench coat outta that big 'ol wedding dress!!
I hope Jack comes back:(
Yes, I do believe that Christian's winning jacket is the same one he made before and the judges hated it..WTF???
22 of 30 | Posted by melpadgett | Posted on December 17, 2007 11:40 AM
Not that anyone asked me, but one of the problems with being positive is it can cause your face to look sunken--maybe it's the medications, I'm never sure, but there's plastic surgery ads offering to inject fat in them etc. I'm thinking that's what's going on with his face, but he's a good looking guy with a "fierce" body and bad taste in men (just like me) Go Jack!!!!
Snootchy, I guess I picked him to go top 5, so I'm rooting!!! I'm not sure he'll bedazzle you as much as Kayne, tho, we'll see!!!
23 of 30 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 17, 2007 11:43 AM
I don't think Chris is a great designer but he is entertaining so I'm glad he's back. What this season is missing is someone like Wendy Pepper, Santino or Jeffrey.
24 of 30 | Posted by murphena | Posted on December 17, 2007 1:22 PM
The Staph Infections has nothing to do with his HIV status...anyone can get that type of infection.
25 of 30 | Posted by I_AM_LEGEND | Posted on December 18, 2007 6:26 PM
i thought this was one of the better episodes and definitely made the designers show who they are and how talented they are. I also love Christian! I think he would annoy me in person, but face it, the show would be boring without him.
26 of 30 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 19, 2007 7:08 AM
I don't always catch this show, but can someone tell me if it was on last night? I looked for it, but it was just reruns...am I confused?
27 of 30 | Posted by spreadhead | Posted on December 20, 2007 2:24 PM
Well, spreadhead, you may be confused, I wouldn't know, but the show has been suspended till Jan 2 or 4 . . . those selfish bastardos!
28 of 30 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 21, 2007 10:06 AM
foxbasealpha that is a brilliant "tWILIGHT zONE" comparison! LOL!!!!!!!
29 of 30 | Posted by heehaw | Posted on December 27, 2007 6:25 PM
I just moved to Chapel Hill and OMG if the cable out here does not carry BRAVO! What the eff! I'm so glad you're recapping the shows! This is an outrage!
30 of 30 | Posted by couchpotato | Posted on January 1, 2008 8:46 PM