Project Runway: Jersey Pretty

Tonight, about midway through Project Runway, I googled "Jersey Prom" and these images were on pages one, two and three.

Jerseypromiswack
Consider this your warning.

We open today's show with a long shot of Ricky brushing his teeth. Color me impressed. Moving on...

Rami reminds us that last week he won for the second time, proving that he has a little something that sets him apart from everyone else. Could it be JESSICA ALBA? VictorYA is depressed about Elisa, which makes me like her, kinda. But then I only realize she's sad because Crazy Face's eviction means the cheap ass producers over at Bravo made VictorYA move into the other girl's loft so they didn't have to pay any extra rent. I call bs! Then again, the other girls are no Elisa, which means they won't be taking any kind of VictorYA's bullshit. I changed my mind. All's fair in love and reality show budgets.

I don't know if you've noticed lately, but someone in the fashion world gave bangs permission to come back on the scene. As was the situation when legwarmers struggled to regain relevance a few years ago, not many modern women pull off the whole bangs thing, and it almost looked like they would disappear before a hero came along and took up their cause. Who can take the Shaggy Dog look and turn it around?

Bangs
That's why this bitch makes the big bucks.

Claw bangs, however, are not back. Someone please tell the parade float designer.

Clawbangs
OMG Becky. Her butt. Is so. BIG.


Heidi tells the designers that they will be making a dress for the most important day in a woman's life. So far this season we've suffered through "real women", that big assed tiny dude from Good Morning America, and poor people. My sister's biggest day was when she started getting boobies. I wouldn't put it past this show to dedicate en entire episode to the training bra. Rami thinks they'll be making wedding dresses, and when a short chunky shadow comes up on the runway screen, I fear he's right. It's always the short fat busted ones who get married first. Why is that?

The straight guy, trying to comprehend the squat shadow, guesses "midgets or Oompa Loomps." Oompa Loomps? Wow. You are straight. A line of school girls in uniform parade down the runway while the designers giggle. Either Gossip Girl has been misinforming us about the physical standards in Manhattan private schools or...ah, that makes sense. They're from Jersey.

Jerseygirls
This afternoon in Jersey, a pasty girl in Coke bottle glasses broke up with her Cabbage Patch Doll. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

VictorYA already looks like she'd cut herself if there were anything sharp handy, but when Heidi announces that today's challenge will be to make a prom dress, she looks downright pissed. YAY! I just hope one of these girls is lucky enough to need one. Alright alright. That's enough awkward girl jokes for one day. Let's face it, we were all awkward girls at one time or another. I still am one. I ran into Intern Nick at the office today and started speaking fake Spanish for no reason at all.

The schoolgirls got to look over the designer's portfolios and picked who they wanted to work with. Chris wonders who in their right mind would pick him since his portfolio consists of hundreds of fat guys dressed as different incarnations of Ethel Merman. I have my suspicions, but I already promised to lay off the young uns.

Picture 2-2

As names are read off, everyone tries to pretend like it's gonna be fun working for the possible future knockout but current uggo not quite there yet teens. Everyone but, you guessed it...

Vicpissed
Prom flashback? Me thinks someone was shorted a corsage.

Tim meets the designers in the workroom and tells them that just because the girls will doubtlessly have strong ideas about what they want, be sure to "show who you are as a designer." Am I the only one hoping Ricky puts his teen in a crotchless spangled nightie with a feather and glitter headband? The girls are brought in, and Kit asks hers why she chose her as her designer. The girl really identified with her "edginess", so Kit decides to make her something very modest. Come on! You're Kit Pistol! Dye this twerps hair pink and push her boobs up to her nose. She didn't pick you because of your virginal tastes, dumdum. By "edgy" she meant "slutty". Make it work.

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Comments (30)

yankeesfan:

Great recap! I am still on Team Christian though. I actually thought his dress was cute (maybe on a different girl)...I think it would've looked really good on someone who had a slightly smaller back side. Was he supposed to be in the top 3 and then they downgraded him when he was rude to his model? Heidi said that she liked the dress. Also - I don't know how Kit Pistol keeps slipping under the radar! I always really like her dresses. Chris was really funny with his comments...except I feel really dumb, but I don't get the flinstones joke!!! I think Ricky should've gone home.

giffordsaz:

Goodmorning!!!!!
Strech... Yawn......

I love waking up to a Flipit recap......
It's like getting a phone call from a freind early in the day and saying... lets go play..

Thank you. xoxox

I really am pulling for Chris. I think he got rooked on this one. Hias dress flowed down that runway and the color was perfect for that girl.. and not a pastel prom dress.
That neckless goon Victor had to design for ... and then she makes what looks like a sleeveless bedazzled turtleneck bag for the girl to wear... And she freaking wins. I would like to see Nina in the loosapalloza of a dress.
Ricky should have gone home. I actually now think he is sleeping with Mikie Kors to stay on the show.. there simply is no other explanation. Seriously.

best statement this recap....
[quote]Sweet P feels that since her dress isn't devastatingly awful this week she should win, because it's "my tuuuurn!" She whines about being in the bottom all the time and Chris says "I've been kicked off." HA. He's on a roll today. [quote/]
This statement reminds me of Jen on Amazing Race.... all pissy because others have come in first before and it is about her damn turn... wahwahwah

giffordsaz:

Goodmorning!!!!!
Strech... Yawn......

I love waking up to a Flipit recap......
It's like getting a phone call from a freind early in the day and saying... lets go play..

Thank you. xoxox

I really am pulling for Chris. I think he got rooked on this one. Hias dress flowed down that runway and the color was perfect for that girl.. and not a pastel prom dress.
That neckless goon Victor had to design for ... and then she makes what looks like a sleeveless bedazzled turtleneck bag for the girl to wear... And she freaking wins. I would like to see Nina in the loosapalloza of a dress.
Ricky should have gone home. I actually now think he is sleeping with Mikie Kors to stay on the show.. there simply is no other explanation. Seriously.

best statement this recap....
[quote]Sweet P feels that since her dress isn't devastatingly awful this week she should win, because it's "my tuuuurn!" She whines about being in the bottom all the time and Chris says "I've been kicked off." HA. He's on a roll today. [quote/]
This statement reminds me of Jen on Amazing Race.... all pissy because others have come in first before and it is about her damn turn... wahwahwah

giffordsaz:

sorry.

mrsc:

Thank you for an entertaining and QUICK recap flipit! I hate it when with each recap someone apologizes for the lateness of it. Somehow you are able to get them out and fast. Which was really good for me because that frickin' tivo quit just before the gavel came down and I didn't know who was going home. It is more fun waiting to hear it from you then just going online and you did not disappoint.

My only wish was more screen caps of Chris in his costumes. I didn't catch he was the model until he told them either.

Ricky should of gone home (LOL on the pants folded up thing. Mom didn't do it to me but I confess I've done it and some masking tape in a pinch) but as much as I love Fabulous Christian, that dress was gawdawful. He had a little Diva on his hands but it really was gross with the lace.

Rami obviously took advantage of his immunity.

KitP- was expecting a black and hot pink number with tulle and... oh wait Avril doesn't want anyone copying her.

Chris' was my favorite. That looked gorgeous, expensive, and flattering.

And yankeesfan... I also did not get the flinstones joke at all.

snootchy bootches:

I loved Chris before, but now I LURVVVVVE him! Every time he breaks out with that laugh he makes me giggle. I thought his dress was going to be in the top, if not the winner. The color was beautiful and the design was so flowy and flattering. I also loved the little details in the back. I was shocked when he was in the middle.

Flipit, you are evil for posting those pictures and talking about googling jersey prom, because you know I had to do it too! (I bet I'm not alone lol) Did you see the pictures of the "ghet-toes?" *shudder*

I didn't love VictorYA's dress, but I understood why they said what they did. Sweet P's dress was pretty, but I've seen something like it in every bridal shop on earth. In my opinion, top 3 should have been Chris, Gillian and VictorYA with Chris winning. Bottom should have been Christian, Ricky and Straight guy with Ricky going home.

t00haute:

great, quick! recap!

you didn't mention (well you kind of did) how NONE of the girls seemed capable of walking in heels. all of them looked terribly awkward. i think they are going to be embarassed when they watch themselves.

this episode was (a litte) close to my heart because i am... a jersey catholic school girl. i actually know where st. john vianny (the school where those girls were from) is. however, most of the girls at my high school look much more chic, and much less jersey than those girls do.

i didn't really like any of the dresses this episode. all of them looked like something i could easily find at bloomingdales, so i was a little disappointed. i feel like these designers talk and talk and talk about their "point-of-view" but i have yet to really seen any strong one from anyone besides rami (who is way to repetitive)and maybe christian. so, yeah, that's my two cents.

Lime:

Thanks for the speedy recap, Flipit!

I knew I was going to be in the minority on this, but: I actually liked Victorya's dress. Even the tack rhinestone part. Crazy, I know. Between her & Sweet P, I kind of sensed she would win, because it was more unusual.

Anyway, here's my question: My sense is that Heidi generally does the Q&Aing of the designers in the following order: Highest cumulative score (Sweet P?), lowest score (Straight Guy?), Second highest, second lowest, third highest, third lowest. Did anyone catch who was really supposed to be the 3rd in the top 3? Was it Ricky? (And if so, WTF? I SO thought he was going home. It should have been his time!) Or Christian? (because Nina said she liked it?) So confused.

ubiquitous:

I couldn't help but get the impression that a LOT of Christian's time on the runway getting grilled was edited out. If only Ricky had been auf'd instead of Kevin!

marishka:

Every time they showed Chris' drag portfolio, I wondered that he always seemed to design for the same big guy with the over-sized hair and ta-ta's. Now it all makes sense....

Yankeesfan and MRSC: The joke part about the Flintstones was the word Flintstones itself. Substitute Flintstones with any demographic. What do you call steelworkers if they are gay? Fags. You expect a punny play on words, but when it comes down to it, fags are fags (and I don't say that in an un-PC gay-bashing kind of way. I work in theatre. some of my best friends are gay).

But, that being said, Chris should have won and Ricky should have been given the boot. Blech. Ugly-ass, ill-fitting pink bag with beige ribbons.

fitz:

I loved this episode right up until the end. Victorya winning and Kevin losing? WTF! I think Chris should have had this one, I really liked his dress. I really thought Ricky should have been kicked off, I really can't handle another one of his crying fits.

fitz:

I really loved this episode up until the end. Victorya winning and Kevin Losing WTF! I think Chris should have won, this time I thought his dress was well made, suited the occasion and most importantly looked great on the model. I really wanted Ricky to get kicked of, but at least half of that is because I am entirely tired of his crying as much as I dislike his sewing skills.

halfempty:

Great recap. I thought Chris was hilarious, too. Was anyone else shocked when Straight Guy went home? I mean, his dress did suck but he had been doing fairly well in the competition up til then. I seem to recall when the judges were discussing Ricky, they were like, 'It never seems to work out with him' or something. I thought for sure he was going home, especially since he was the focus of this week's "why I'm on Project Runway" introspection (last week, it was Crazy Face). I thought I detected a pattern. I guess I was wrong.

Sweetleaf:

This episode is like a really long night in a really bad piano bar. YAY! I call "Don't Rain on My Parade"!

I call " Don't threaten m with a good time!"

mrsc:

marishka- thanks so much for spelling that out to me. I see why I didn't get it (hate that and esp.the long form of the word) but I know if depends on who is making the joke.

halfempty- PR psyched us both out! I also thought it was Ricky's time not only because of fug dress but because of more back story time.

Lime- I have thought the same about the 1st person Heidi says, "So --- tell me about your design" is the winner (not sure about the order of the others) but again, PR was slick this week!

Memememe:

Great recap. It was (again) more entertaining than the episode.

The Flintstones joke is similar to one I remember from when I was a kid: What do they call baby tabby cats in South Africa? answer -- kittens. Kinda dumb, just a pun, not really very funny but not terrible, either.

I have a question. Am I really old, or are babydoll length dresses actually common now for prom? When did 'cocktail party dress' morph into formal wear?

I seriously think that Christian is accustomed to designing for rail-skinny models, and not for ladies with junk in their trunks. That's why his brown debacle rode up in the back. And listen, who in their right designing mind would put shiny chocolate satin on a girl with that skin tone? I mean, think about that.

I, too, noticed Heidi diss the color of a dress which exactly matched the one she was wearing. That was sweet. Daring us to notice your hypocrisy: Heidi, you fierce. Maybe it's a German thing.

I was hoping Ricky was auf'd. It's not fair that Straight Guy had to leave, but no doubt, Heidi's fierce attitude is that Ricky is better (train wreck) tv. Chris should have won. He's been my favorite since the beginning. Rami's dress was awful. Wretched color, bad design, the whole thing was way fug.

juddfan:

jeeeeze . . . Str8 guys dress was fug, and even the styling on his girl was "older" looking, but he's so much more been in the top group than the bottom, unlike fug crybaby . . . I'm with you all, I so thought hat boy was gone, I nearly dropped my cocktail when they let him leave the catwalk!!!! UGH!!!! And all the blogs are chiming the same tune, Chris should have won, or been top 3, Ricky should have gone and Str8-ey should have been safe.

Flipit, great analogy on the pants cuff tuck--didn't Vya's hem also look folded under. The poor models on this show, they are never being used and are still getting shuffled week to week.

REALLY HATED Rami's toga--now in pukey green, yeeeech!!! Is that what he did for Jessica Alba? Does he not see the one time novelty of that look, and not a classic, like the lines of the Sweet P Marilyn look (lovely, but done before)
Really disappointed in him and his "vision", and I just don't get the flap in the front--is it to hold a cast, a place for her hide her hooch to spike the punch-at least that would be handy!

Thanks ever so much, Flip it!!!

snootchy bootches:

juddfan: With some of the high schoolers these days, it might be a built in baby sling!

juddfan:

Sad but true, Snoot! My niece in Catholic school said they had baby showers for four students in her senior class!

heehaw:

yankeesfan>
here is a similar but much better version of Chris's joke:

how come Helen Keller could not drive?

...............because she was a woman!
HA HA HAH>>>AHHHAH HAAAHA


oh yeah!!! Tim got ripped off. Ricky's dress was pathetic. it looked like something from high school home economics sewing class.
miss sourpuss's dress was straight out off Korvettes department store bargain bin 1970.

the fix is in on this show. it is very disappointing.

heehaw:

sorry i meant kevin got ripped off! tim is the gray haired gay gentleman instructor, very gentle...

HereKittyKity:

Damnit, I really think the producers read these comments and say "hmmmmm, HKK seems to like Straight Guy, he's AUF'D!" I hate that everyone I love goes home. So right now I'm going on the record that I don't like Christian. Nope, I was just delusional last week.

Okay I'm lying, I still love him.

Sweet Pea's dress was really pretty this week. Boring, but pretty. None of them really aced this challenge though, and I wish that poor man Ricky or Toga Man had gone home. Hate Rami, HATE!

mullymoon:

Ok, long time reader, first time poster.

But just had to say that this was the best recap ever!! Inappropriate laughter at work...never a good thing. :)

Keep them coming and...Go Team Chris! You got robbed.

mullymoon:

...and, btw...

Did anyone else think Victoria's dress seemed like a cheap, tacky knock- off of Kayne's Miss Universe dress from Seasons Past?

snootchy bootches:

The dress didn't remind me of the Miss Universe dress, but I just wanted to say...

*sigh* I miss my little bedazzler, Kayne. I hope he is somewhere making a sparkly dress for a big haired beauty queen and loving life.

ReeseWitherspoon:

I loved Chris' dress. He shoulda won.

Hated hated hated Christian's brat. She was an a-hole and you know what? That c*nt is only gonna get worse. Put her out of her misery now. Send her to Iraq.

xpedestrianx:

i love these recaps! even though i watched the episode first, i always check the recap for the snarky comments- although today i gotta say, stop putting down new jersey! I think you accidentally googled "jersey city" prom. the rest of jersey ain't like that at all!

xpedestrianx:

i love the recaps! (i watch the episode and then check the recap for all those awesomely snarky comments) but today, i gotta say: stop putting down new jersey! i think you might have accidentally googled "jersey city" prom. or "the parts of new jersey surrounding new york" prom, because the rest of new jersey isn't like that at all! the one picture isn't even from new jersey! it's from california, and happened to have someone wearing a jersey in it. nice try on the recap, but how about a little more snark and a little less ignorantly invalidated research?

trey:

I have never watched this show, but I had to poke at the recap when I saw those horrible Jersey photos. 8D; I kept thinking 'wtf is that!?' Ah, curiosity.

From the photos, I adored Chris' dress. It was beautiful and I'm sorry he didn't get to be in the top. Of course, this is my first time seeing his designs, so maybe I'm wrong on his taste. *_*;;;

thatswhack:

it's filipino, not phillipino.

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