This week on the second to last episode of Project Runway, someone (and I'm not telling you who) farts out a cloud of Judge smoke and grosses me out.
I'm with ya, sugar.
Welcome to the beginning of the end, suckas! Heidi comes out wearing a hologram. I took so long to post this recap because I was waiting to see if any epileptics sued Bravo for not warning them they were about to have severe seizures. No lawsuits have been announced that I have heard of, so my lateness was just a waste. My bad.
If you don't see an image of sauerkraut and french fries dancing in the moonlight, you're not looking hard enough.
We're caught up on everything we already know. Five designers are going to fashion week, but only three of them will be on TV. Rami has to beat Chris' butt one more time before he is given the chance to loosely pin fabric on a skin covered skeleton. I am rooting for March, but after making the exact thing last week that he made when he teamed with Christian, it's kinda hypocritical of me. But he makes me laugh, and I will choose that over muscles and an accent any day. At least on TV.
Tim and Heidi take the designers to the roof of the SoHo lofts for a glass of champagne and Christian and Jillian have a twirl off to see who's more of a woman. Guess who wins.
I pity the poor gay cow who died for this shot. Bret Michael's used the rest of it to make a trench over on VH1. PETA is ignoring this. Bigots much?
Christian tells us how simply amazed he is with himself. Look how far he's come! And he's only twenty one! WOWEEEE! Christian makes me laugh despite his hideous personality, but for some reason today I just want someone to toss him over the side of the building. It's a bird! It's a plane! It's the most talented twenty one year old ever born! SHOOT IT!
As per ush, Tim goes to visit the finalists at their home about three and a half months into their final challenge. Christian is up first, and he lives in a closet. It's kinda hilarious, for someone so out. The only thing that could make this kid more of a contradiction would be if he decided to give up fashion and become a firefighter so he could put out flames.
His place is so tiny that it doubles as his closet, his workroom, and his bedroom, and as much as he annoys me, it's pretty cool to see someone make so much out of so little. OMG I haven't addressed his coiff. He stopped with the giant lesbian in and eighties cover band look, opting instead to keep the same cut but gelled down to his scalp. At first I was sad because I realized that he no longer reminded me of Jerri Blank, but then I remembered that Jeri's hair got bigger by the season. She started where Christian has ended up.

"I've changed. People change. Changes… I'm not the same Jerri Blank who informed on those blind orphans. I'm not the same Jerri Blank who revealed the hiding place of those Guatemalans… such as yourself. And I'm not the same Jerri Blank who took a crap in the Fleishmann's holly bushes… last night." -- explaining why she doesn't want to finger Kimberly Timbers for being a retard, from "Who Wants Cake?"
Tim doesn't really know what to say when he gets his first glimpse of the collection Christian's working on, but he never really has known what to say with this kid. Gunn warns about over doing it, but that's really what got him this far in the first place, so what are you gonna say? Make less jackets? If ain't broke, steal it's lunch money. The piece that really confounds Gunn are the finale pants. It looks like a team of ugly ducklings teamed up against a swan, beat the crap out of it, and wore it's skin to warn all the other beautiful birds not to fuck with the fugs.
Whoever ends up buying these better never take a walk in the woods. They'll get their asses shot.
The adjective Tim lands on is "costume-y", and come to think of it, they are very Annie Get Your Gun. With the big poofy pirate shirt, it's just hideous. I smell a winner!
T
The Swishbuckler
Tim's advice is to calm the fuck down, but Christian, as usual, plans on ignoring everything he said. Again, why shouldn't he? It's worked so far.
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Comments (18)
I'll admit the human hair thing was a bit out there, but I really liked what Chris put out on the catwalk. I thought it looked like it came from Jean-Paul Gautier. It certainly isn't mainstream, but the judges claim they want something original. Clearly they don't.
Rami's was... blah. Like everything he has produced this season. Yes, his stuff will sell because it is middle of the road stuff. And the his coat was right out of Cloe's line from the second season. I can't understand why they keep blowing sunshine up his ass.
1 of 18 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on March 4, 2008 4:47 AM
flipit, I am shocked that you did not mention the uncomfortable moment when they announced Rami as the winner and Chris tryed to make out with him. It was so obivous that Rami had to push him back. I was routing for Chris, the hair thing didn't bother me I guess cause I was a hairdresser for over 25 years. They were extentsions, people wear them on their head, so why not on a collar? Wasn't Chris' friends apartment a hoot? Wonder what's going to happen to him when he loses his lease? Hope his landlord wasn't watching! PS. I grew up with auqa net fumes (lived two towns over from Jillian forever, till I moved to another state).
2 of 18 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on March 4, 2008 4:54 AM
Flip- extra funny this week- especially the Tim Gunn poop smell at the rodeo ("this ain't my first time at the rodeo boys!") line. Brilliant. There's a great behind the scenes clip on the web of Tim doing a "walk off" on the roof with Christian. When it's over Heidi begins to tickle Tim and tickle Tim and tickle Tim and....stop! She just won't stop! She has this evil look on her face and Tim is trying not to fart or pee. See if you can find it.
Rami's draped dress was b-u-t-t-u-g-l-y and I couln't believe that the women liked it. I believe Michael Kors liked it because I have seen some of his work at Marshall's ($17.00) and it looks just like that only in animal print.
3 of 18 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on March 4, 2008 7:33 AM
Chris was robbed! Sure, human hair has a bit of creepiness attached to it, but I thought his clothes were beautiful.
Rami, good god, he was able to make his models look fat! What would those dresses to do to an actual woman?!
I bet that Jillian will walk away the winner this season...
4 of 18 | Posted by ohralphie | Posted on March 4, 2008 7:35 AM
And what about Kors' comment about the dress Chris made - "looks like a velvet condom"!!! that definitely ranks up there with "that crotch is insane!"
Great recap! I was cracking up with the Tim herpe's comment...I saw it too and had to keep looking bc it's so un-tim-like!
5 of 18 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 4, 2008 7:35 AM
What really bugs me is, they got rid of chris, but we all know next season they will be stealing his ideas. Hair challenge, office supply challenge.
I really think they just didnt want to send someone to fashion week that they tried to get rid of weeks ago.
Christian is now my favorite.... but id like to see him lose and rami win, just because id find it entertaining.
6 of 18 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on March 4, 2008 7:51 AM
I heart Chris March! He has just the best outlook of any of them. And while I did a "WTF" when I first heard about the hair, it didn't really bother me in the long run. I think maybe if he had used less of it, people might not have freaked quite so much.
I have to say, I kind of liked Rami's slutty secretary dress. But the rest of his collection was fugly! That coat? Really? Uck.
Ah well, here's hoping Jillian pulls it out in the end. I don't think the world could stand Christian's fierce ego to get blown up any more!
And Flip, your recaps are ALWAYS worth the wait :)
7 of 18 | Posted by ChicagoGal | Posted on March 4, 2008 8:19 AM
I'm sad Chris is out, he made me laugh too.
Just going to say this real quick about the human hair thing. They were "irked" or "disgusted" or whatever by it being used on clothing, but yet it's perfectly ok to rip the skin or feathers or fur off an animal and wear that??? Hypocrites. Unless of course they are anti-that too =)
8 of 18 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 4, 2008 9:52 AM
I love Chris, too!! *muah* to Chris!
But, come on, even I must admit: (a) using real human hair on your designs is insane; and (b) TELLING Nina Garcia et al. that you used real human hair on your designs is really, truly, clinically insane -- that is, if you want to win. Chris -- would it have hurt so much to use a little faux pony hair or something? or, alternatively, LIED?
He was trying to freak them out, that's what it was, that michievous imp!
Anywho, we all knew that the judges would put Rami in the top 3, because, well, he's the only designer with a Jessica Alba, and they didn't want their "rating system" questioned by outsiders. It's like we all know that US News & World Report will put certain schools in their top 5, no matter what. It was preordained.
But Rami is so coming in 3rd out of 3.
Am I the only one that thought Gillian was suddenly beautiful (in those close-up interviews)?? Thought so, LOL.
9 of 18 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on March 4, 2008 10:02 AM
I love Chris March, but Rami is really good. I mean, if celebrities are wearing his outfits on the red carpet, I think that says something.
His style is just more fashionable. As much as I adore Chris' creativity, he's better as a costume designer, I guess. You should look through Rami's collection. I would love to wear his outfits.
10 of 18 | Posted by thatswhack | Posted on March 4, 2008 10:44 AM
What a waste of weiner, I mean half weiner! And a waste of the crack pipe I smashed into mine . . . eventho, I, like u, knew beyond any doubt that Ramala was going to get it.
So, I got used to the poop smell too, and when they walked down the runway, they looked quite striking, as in, oo ah, and I did feel a little creeped out, but it was adrenalized, and interesting, and those safety pins rocked!!!! Coolest thing I've seen on the show.
Is it bad if I mention I looked at all the lines on the website (there's a fashion week 2008 link)
ok, I'll guess probably, so I'll only say, Ramala and Chris both had better pieces than what they showed--and I bet Chris knew no matter what he did, he would not win, so props to him for rubbing their faces in the poo smell! I think he may have won if they'd put him in, I really like his whole line.
Lastly, majah props to Chris for doing something that's got everyone talking, great move! Human hair will live in infamy!
HEART flip it, you know you're worth the wait!!!
11 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 4, 2008 11:23 AM
flips,
in celebration of our inaugural podgasming together i think i'm gonna perm my hair and slap on some suspenders, gillian-style. you can wear the toga.
also, where you at? cupcakes have officially been procured.
xoxo, lady sensation
12 of 18 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on March 4, 2008 11:32 AM
I loved Chris' second outfit - the hair swinging on that skirt looked so sexy to me. Could you imagine wearing that into a bar? Every guy would be staring at your ass as you walked by. Of course, some of them may be creeped out by the human hair thing, but do they have to know?
13 of 18 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on March 4, 2008 1:00 PM
Flipit you rock! you are a very funny individual.
i so love Chris March and i thought his designs were much better contructed--and WAY more innovative--than Rami's. i honestly don't see what is so gross about using human hair. of course i am kind of dark, so what do i know?
i have seen the final collections and i still like Chris' better. Rami had some beautiful evening dresses, but i still don't get him. just not my style i guess.
as much as i love Christian i would be happy if Jillian won too. that means that Rami has it in the bag.
14 of 18 | Posted by pq | Posted on March 4, 2008 1:07 PM
"as much as i love Christian i would be happy if Jillian won too. that means that Rami has it in the bag."
indeed, pq, indeed--but I dunno, there's some duds in the collections, I think Jillian had the fewest, but then, in fashion, it's all a matter of taste, right!? I'll root for her anyway, it must have been a big burden to try to be famous at whatever she did from that wee little age in that picture--obviously it looked like Barbazon modeling or something . . . and it was also the start of the hat thing she's still rocking ala Leia!!! (good one flipit!)
15 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 4, 2008 2:22 PM
Like most everyone else, I love Chris too and thought his collection was much more innovative than Rami's. I was also surprised that he didn't win Fan Favorite.
And I agree that they couldn't let Chris be in the final three when they had already sent him home long before (and was only brought back because of Jack leaving).
I'm thinking Jillian will win.
16 of 18 | Posted by murphena | Posted on March 4, 2008 4:09 PM
To be honest, I wasn't brimming with joy over either Chris or Rami's looks. I'm not really skeeved out by the human hair (it was extensions, judges!!), but overall wasn't overly impressed.
Condom dress? check
Flinstone's eveningwear? check
Dinner jacket vomited on by a sherpa? check.
I thought that Rami's ode to Christian jacket was hideous, the draped dress actually kind of nice (for yet another draped Rami dress), and the evening gown was pretty, even if it can only be worn by anorexics.
It was a toss up for me. I guess I would prefer Chris to continue on, for entertainment value alone.
Neither one of them stand a chance against my FIERCE little smart mouth anywayy!
17 of 18 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on March 4, 2008 5:47 PM
I, too, was sad to see Chris go. I am certainly routing for Christian. While he can be annoying, his FIERCNESS can't be denied. That's what really blows me away -- he's so talented at 21! I hope they don't use his age against him like they did Michael Knight. I have read some posts that hint as to the winner, but I refuse to read any more or look at any photos. I really enjoy the recaps and can't wait to post tomorrow. GO CHRISTIAN!!!!
18 of 18 | Posted by mspattie | Posted on March 5, 2008 8:06 AM