Project Runway: Fifty Foot Frump Banned from Beijing!

This week, Project Runway has the opportunity to show these Chinese Olympic security guards smashed up boobies and blows it! BOOOOOOO!!!

Olympics
I see knees! LET ME THROUGH!

Last week, Kenley killed Ariel the mermaid and then forced a poor skinny girl to wear her, so lord only knows what's gonna go down this week. Once you've committed mermaid murder all doors are open. If someone skins a baby, I'm changing the channel. Just one question before we begin: why do they show a shot of Dirty Olsen at the beginning of every single episode? I blame her for giving Heath the sleeping pills that did him in and don't want to see her stupid face on my TV anymore. Discuss.

Korto starts the day brushing off Emily's departure. She loved her but c ya wouldn't wanna b ya. I like Korto more when she's sobbing about how hard she worked and how she's the first African woman to win Project Runway. Kenly is in the bathroom doing her makeup and she has a headband pulling back her dumb bangs. I know it's only temporary, but who's that pretty girl from the now?

Picture 1-70
Peggy Sue Got Buried - if only for a moment


Kenley tells us that having immunity this week is a giant relief, but the best part is being understood by "people who matter in fashion" even when she wears dumb five (or fifty) years ago flowers in her hair and shows her nude colored bra straps with a fag tag hanging out.

Picture 2-64
Love is blind. So, apparently are all the judges on this show.


Over in the boy's apartment, Pleather touches up his eye makeup while Straight Guy blow dries Blayne's already dry crackly face. At the runway, Fat Bitch comes out wearing what looks like leather tights and a transparent clown ruffle shirt. She's also carrying a giant purse, which I hope she hits Pleather with the second he starts blowing his nasty kisses at her. Kenley opts to keep her model, and the model agrees to stay as long as she isn't forced to wear something that makes her look like a size 12 this week. Heidi instructs the designers to meet Tim downstairs for a field trip, and on the way down Jerell says he doesn't care what the challenge is as long as it doesn't involve female wrestlers. He says this all head rolly and sassily because if you say something all head rolly and sassily, it's automatically hilarious. There's actually a high chance that it is the female wrestler challenge because it's a challenge that's been done before and that's the theme of the year. The Magical Elves are in a pub wasted somewhere making out with their giant bags of money.

Tim loads the designers in the van and takes them for a nice long ride. Korto thinks they are on their way to the Bronx for a hip hop challenge (PLEASE let her be right) and Kelli nervously blinks one eye and prays as they pass a hospital that they won't have to make nurse's uniforms. Wouldn't that just kill poor Jerry?

Tim seems to be fascinated with the new exciting language that Blayne has come up with for the show, so when the forty year old kid looks down in the dumps, Mommy Tim is at his side asking what's wrong. Blayne is depressed because he hasn't been able to go to the tanning beds and he's used to tanning every other day. Tim is horrified by this admission, but Blayne explains that some people like to work out and keep themselves healthy and he likes to tan in hopes of turning into his mother as soon as possible. To each his own psychosis, I guess.

They arrive at the Armory Track and Field Center and Pleather says "OMG it's ginormous!" This season has singlehandedly obliterated so much pop culture slang that it's kinda sad. First I had to give up Holla, and now ginormous. I thought fierce was bad. Christian Sirriano is Mirriam Webster compared to these hacks. Someone is skating around the track in rollerblades, and when he comes to a stop in front of the designers everyone claps and oohs and ahhhs, even though Terri is the only one who seems to know who the hell he is. Pleather looks completely flabbergasted to see someone else with extremely stupid yet unique chin hair formation.

Identicalcousins
Identical Cousins


The guest is Apollo Ohno. He's a five time Olympic medalist who won Dancing with the stars last year. He's wearing a t-shirt and sweats today, so I hope to god the challenge is less this...

Picture 5-60

Project Runway: Fifty Foot Frump Banned from Beijing! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7 

« Big Brother: Who Wants Cake? | Main | So You Think You Can Dance: Finale! Clash of the Titans...and Patterns »

Comments (18)

HereKittyKitty:

I love Jennifer's surreal comment after she got kicked off. Honey, there was NOTHING surreal about those designs at all. Look up the meaning of that word.

I feel so confused everytime they get to the runway. I watch the designs walk, I guess who will be called, and unlike every other previous season, all of the people I chose are called out in the middle. I thought I just had a couple of off weeks, but after last week and this week, I'm convinced they are trying to tank the show on purpose. A white leather vest over high waisted pants?! Seriously Michael Kors?

Flipit, did you notice that the whole boob squashiness of Terri's outfit disappeared after it was called back out on the runway? If you hadn't written about it, I'd have thought I imagined it.

here4beer:

Holy cannoli, that was a fast recap! (mmmm... cannoli)

I, too, was mesmerized by Terri's models' boobs. First I was hopeful/ appalled that I would actually see them, then I was surprised/ befuddled about how they just slipped back into their appropriate place, completely unnoticed. Strange.

I also think they need to hurry up and have some double eliminations in this bitch so we can get to know some of the quieter peeps who are not completely irritating (*yet*).

Thanks for the quicky, Flipit!! (I bet you hear that all the time!!)

J-Mo:

Love the recap, I agree with you 100% about Jerrelliciousness being way too visible in the world and I seriously think that might have been MY old boy scout uniform he ganked for his latest "fashion experiment". I looked better in that uniform at 12 than he does now.

Actually I THINK what Terri said when Dickface Keith stoled her fabric was "Oh no he DI-ent! A Sistuh gotta keep one eye open!" but in Terrispeak "eye" = "at" sometimes (except after C). And hey, at least she wound up in top 3, so ha ha all over Keith.

And speaking of Keith, I'm coming to believe that Utah isn't an undesirable location for gays because of the strong Mormon presence there... it's undesirable because, well, everyone there seems to be an ASShole...

You are so quick with your recaps, you put the rest of us to shame... but I loveth you illegally anyways...

love, J-Mo :)

Memememe:

So funny. I love your recaps. I didn't see 30's with Korto's pants. I saw Cher circa 1974 with them. High-waisted, too long, visible white pleats down the front. Fug. I think Straight Guy should have won. It was his only chance to win all season. C'mon.

ht tp:// www. mentalfloss.com/ blogs/ archives/ 16321

Take the erroneous spaces out & go see the real, actual team uniforms from some of the Olympic countries. Good GOD. Jerrell woulda fit right in.

MorbidCuriosity:

Heavens to Betsy! Memememe, I just checked out the uniforms on the link, and it's not often you'll hear me say this but...it makes me proud to be an American. WTF is going on with designers in the world today?! Apparently, blindness is running rampant across the globe...the only explanation for those uniforms.
As for the show, I didn't get to watch the whole episode yet, but I must share how surprised I am that Whinah even made anything halfway decent. I think she sucks, as do the producers for promoting this whole "find your voice" thing that allows one-trick ponies like her and Jennifer and...well, everyone(!) to make the same damn outfit week after week!!!

Memememe:

Makes one wish for the innocence and mirthful presence of Santino, doesn't it.

jenday:

I believe Nina had the Brazilian Blowout done. It is a miracle worker!

juddfan:

flipit rocks!!!! You make it so worth staying up late and over cocktailing to crawl to work and your speedy recap!

Flipit was so right about Pleather's outfit--LAME!!! wasn't that a poodle skirt?!

Thanks mememe for the link, and bleeeech!!! I'm voting for Germany's outfits, which sadly, are closest to straight guys look.

I found Daniel to be a twerp this time, he was bugging me, since no one really knows how to make clothes out of recyclable materials or supermarket items, I don't know why a half hour to look at examples couldn't help clarify--looked like a shiny fabric sister to the cup dress. I know Bettie Page was trying to be a pal, but didn't she say the dress looked good . . .

Who did the casting this time, I don't think Jennifer belonged from the get-go, she's too regular like us, and Kerri is so disappointing with that singer pattern number--it's not like she had immunity!!! I admit, I just hate plaids of any kind, but esp papa gino's table cloth plaids . . . ugh!!! Plaid doesn't look patriotic to me, but then, neither did much of that crap--you know it's bad when licious comes close to the mark . . .

michigan:

Okay, this season sucks.
If PR weren't moving to Lifetime I think we might be just in time for the Project Runway "Allstars" mini-season that all reality shows yank out of the vault eventually.
We probably won't get one now, but what past-beens do you guys think would be on it?
Certainly no one from this season so far...

Anonymous:

I'm in total agreement that this season's contestants are truly awful. Some of the people who weren't in the top -- or bottom 3 --- had some truly bad outfits that any other season would have landed them in the bottom. I thought Straight Guy's outfit deserved to win but none of them really wowed me. Jerrell's outfit reminded me of something out of the Stepford Wives.

I really think the producers are hoping that everyone gets so disgusted with this season that we won't watch next year when it goes to Lifetime. Ratings will tank and they'll blame it on the move.

Kon4MIty:

The designers this season totally suck. I never bought that whole sabotage thing until this episode. I mean, come on, we're on episode four and there's STILL nothing good. Ugh.

As for what Jerrell was wearing, I thought it looked more like Robin Hood. You know, if he'd been trampled by a horse or something.

cowfiddle:

@ michigan

me and my fellow PR watcher have been discussing a Project Runway: All Stars since the before this craptastic season even started.

I'd use the top four from each season as the the designers: or even top three with America's favorite as the fourth. My ideal casting would be: Jay, Kara Saun, Wendy, and Austin from Season One. Chloe, Daniel, Santino, and Kara, from season Two. Jefferey, Michael, Uli, and Laura, from Three. And Christian, Rami, Jillian and Chris from last season.

No one from this season would be allowed on, as of now.

itchy:

The 'tank the show' conspiracy doesn't make sense to me-- the franchise has enough draw to pull viewers into the next season regardless. And presumably the new channel will pull out the stops to make that season excellent, thereby underscoring Bravo's own lamishness.

I think they just got unlucky here. Or they're hiding a diamond in the rough who will be unveiled as time goes by. Or, more likely, truly talented designers have no need or interest to go on a show like this.

Besides, these guys are not any worse than last season-- I mean, don't you people remember that drapery guy, pulling out the same dress week after week? Or the gay parade/Divine costume guy (although he was a sympathetic personality). And the winner? A smarmy pipsqueak rehashing early 80s British new wave costumes? How soon we forget.

I knew they'd give the top spot to the liberated liberian, after giving her refugee story, just out of sympathy. I mean, after that, how could they not let her win?

I love Heidi Klum though. She's got just that right combination of mechanical delivery, lispy accent and hipthrusted posture to keep this straight guy innerested...my wife thinks it's hilarious that I watch a show about fashion, considering I dress like a complete slob. And never notice her new clothes.

juddfan:

I'm not too good with names, but I'd like to see some of the people who left too early back, and some of my favorite crazy's like Elisa, Angela and Allison, who wasn't crazy, but left too early. Never saw season 1, so can't add there. I wouldn't want an obvious frontrunner . . . . guess I could throw in Milan, tho I think he's doing fine w/out the show.

Lastly, Harvey is a cheap bastard and has probably paid in dirt for all these seasons, so it's Tim and the cast who will benefit by the move, so hopefully, they are doing their best to maintain the show . . . who knows how the contestants are selected, but it's not all bad to have a lot of ass outfits walking down the runway, then we can rip them to shreds!!!! Yay!

michigan:

Ooh, yes...
I would add Sweet P, and Kit Pistol. And Daniel from two seasons...did you list that one?
Defnitely Austin, Wendy, Kara, Kara Saun, Chris March, Wendy Pepper, and all the top three winners.

bingo blog boy:

Really love your blogs Flipit- always. Just found a fun blog on Entertainment Weekly where they interview the outgoing designers from PR. Jennifer has some interesting things to say about editing and things you may not have known about her outfit. ht p://www. ew.com/ ew/article/0,,20217996,00.html

There are spaces in the URL because you cannot post a URL here so fill in the gaps.

That's all I have time for today but thanks for the great entertainment!

killbondnow:

Great recap as always Flipit, but it's "Olympian," not Olympiad -- the Olympiad is the Games event itself. And a gentle "waist" band, not "waste" -- though I though waste was hilarious.

sunshey:

I will eternally miss Santino.

Post a comment

Post a comment

61