When they get back to the workroom, Straight Guy says, for the second time in thirteen minutes "let the fashion games begin!" Yeah, the cameras were rolling the first time, Straight Guy. Your phrase is now sweeping the nation, happy? Stella tells us that this challenge is very serious because whoever wins will be saying something about America to the rest of the world, and it's "waaaahhh this is haaaaaaawd!!!" The designers talk about the sports they played in highschool. Straight Guy played football, Stella did modern dance (like tennis or baseball, only nothing like those games) which is not a sport, and Leanne claims that she was a cheerleader. I said "claims" because she seems more of a mascot type to me. Daniel hides under the table and waits for the sports talk to pass.

Mascot
Go for the gold, Leanne!

Straight Guy is making a skort, which is even worse than a jort. Sure, jeans made into shorts are annoying, but at least you know what they are. A skort is a skirt in the front and shorts in the back. The last time I saw one of those was when I was a busboy at Applebees back in the early nineties (go ahead and laugh, you bastards!) and the waitresses started to wear them. They looked like shit back then. I can't imagine that making them red, white and blue would help, but then again, I'm not Straight Guy. At least he doesn't say "fashion Olympics" again. He tells Daniel that he was a football player until all the other guys kept growing and he stayed small. Now he's just happy to sew and do John Lovitz impressions.

200808062018
Aaaaaactiing!

Daniel admits to knowing nothing about sports (no!) and says it's because he went to boarding school. Freaky. That explains his obsession with Wesley and those fucking boarding school shorts. He isn't into making something sporty for the biggest sporting event in the world, so he's going to just blow it off and make a cocktail dress. It's either the dumbest move ever or he just wants to spend time with his new bf. Either way he's cracking me up today.

Blayne tells Korto that his olympic sport is tanning, but the highest medal you can get is bronze. So that's why you're always shooting for mediocrity. He complains to us that he's getting paler and paler, which makes me think he has a form of body dysmorphia. It's like me. I see myself as really fat, but in reality,...I'm really fat. Never mind. Point is, Blayne's face looks like raw hamburger meat and one more tanning session would have burned his face clean off his head. Project Runway may have very well saved his face.

Terri is kicking some ass and pumping out pieces like crazy while Jennifer is still pinning gold and cream fabric to her dress form. She is confused. Should she do something sporty (for the olympics? Have you lost your mind?) or something that is true to herself. Just a stab in the dark, but I'd go with A. I don't think giant gummed virgin is exactly what Apollo has in mind. Unfortunately she can't hear me screaming through the TV and sketches the same dress she's made the past three weeks. But this time, it'll have a doily collar and a sweater!

200808062041
Why are all of Jennifer's dresses obviously trying to hide a pregnancy? Something sinister's going on here.

Daniel asks Whina why she chose black and she says that it's because black is bad ass and so are athletes and if anyone says the word "bika" to her she'll tell them the lots of bikas in this country watch the Olympics when they're not grooming themselves impeccably or reading the Bible. I don't get why black is such a big deal. No one's saying anything to Jennifer and she's using gold fucking stripes. Stella's work must suck way more today than the cameras are showing because even Squircangle is dissing it, and she's...well...Squircangle.

Keith tells us that he was a very competitive gymnast when he was young and that's why he was so good at jumping in front of everyone's cameras last week to steal their ideas before they were even formed. Somehow, doing gymnastics gave him the idea of using silk and fleece together, and I kinda hate him so I'm very excited about this development. His skirt looks shapeless with a very large elastic waste band. I'm sure he's on the right path. What Olympiad would want to show their figure off at a party? Save it for the showers.

Project Runway: Fifty Foot Frump Banned from Beijing! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7 

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Comments (18)

HereKittyKitty:

I love Jennifer's surreal comment after she got kicked off. Honey, there was NOTHING surreal about those designs at all. Look up the meaning of that word.

I feel so confused everytime they get to the runway. I watch the designs walk, I guess who will be called, and unlike every other previous season, all of the people I chose are called out in the middle. I thought I just had a couple of off weeks, but after last week and this week, I'm convinced they are trying to tank the show on purpose. A white leather vest over high waisted pants?! Seriously Michael Kors?

Flipit, did you notice that the whole boob squashiness of Terri's outfit disappeared after it was called back out on the runway? If you hadn't written about it, I'd have thought I imagined it.

here4beer:

Holy cannoli, that was a fast recap! (mmmm... cannoli)

I, too, was mesmerized by Terri's models' boobs. First I was hopeful/ appalled that I would actually see them, then I was surprised/ befuddled about how they just slipped back into their appropriate place, completely unnoticed. Strange.

I also think they need to hurry up and have some double eliminations in this bitch so we can get to know some of the quieter peeps who are not completely irritating (*yet*).

Thanks for the quicky, Flipit!! (I bet you hear that all the time!!)

J-Mo:

Love the recap, I agree with you 100% about Jerrelliciousness being way too visible in the world and I seriously think that might have been MY old boy scout uniform he ganked for his latest "fashion experiment". I looked better in that uniform at 12 than he does now.

Actually I THINK what Terri said when Dickface Keith stoled her fabric was "Oh no he DI-ent! A Sistuh gotta keep one eye open!" but in Terrispeak "eye" = "at" sometimes (except after C). And hey, at least she wound up in top 3, so ha ha all over Keith.

And speaking of Keith, I'm coming to believe that Utah isn't an undesirable location for gays because of the strong Mormon presence there... it's undesirable because, well, everyone there seems to be an ASShole...

You are so quick with your recaps, you put the rest of us to shame... but I loveth you illegally anyways...

love, J-Mo :)

Memememe:

So funny. I love your recaps. I didn't see 30's with Korto's pants. I saw Cher circa 1974 with them. High-waisted, too long, visible white pleats down the front. Fug. I think Straight Guy should have won. It was his only chance to win all season. C'mon.

ht tp:// www. mentalfloss.com/ blogs/ archives/ 16321

Take the erroneous spaces out & go see the real, actual team uniforms from some of the Olympic countries. Good GOD. Jerrell woulda fit right in.

MorbidCuriosity:

Heavens to Betsy! Memememe, I just checked out the uniforms on the link, and it's not often you'll hear me say this but...it makes me proud to be an American. WTF is going on with designers in the world today?! Apparently, blindness is running rampant across the globe...the only explanation for those uniforms.
As for the show, I didn't get to watch the whole episode yet, but I must share how surprised I am that Whinah even made anything halfway decent. I think she sucks, as do the producers for promoting this whole "find your voice" thing that allows one-trick ponies like her and Jennifer and...well, everyone(!) to make the same damn outfit week after week!!!

Memememe:

Makes one wish for the innocence and mirthful presence of Santino, doesn't it.

jenday:

I believe Nina had the Brazilian Blowout done. It is a miracle worker!

juddfan:

flipit rocks!!!! You make it so worth staying up late and over cocktailing to crawl to work and your speedy recap!

Flipit was so right about Pleather's outfit--LAME!!! wasn't that a poodle skirt?!

Thanks mememe for the link, and bleeeech!!! I'm voting for Germany's outfits, which sadly, are closest to straight guys look.

I found Daniel to be a twerp this time, he was bugging me, since no one really knows how to make clothes out of recyclable materials or supermarket items, I don't know why a half hour to look at examples couldn't help clarify--looked like a shiny fabric sister to the cup dress. I know Bettie Page was trying to be a pal, but didn't she say the dress looked good . . .

Who did the casting this time, I don't think Jennifer belonged from the get-go, she's too regular like us, and Kerri is so disappointing with that singer pattern number--it's not like she had immunity!!! I admit, I just hate plaids of any kind, but esp papa gino's table cloth plaids . . . ugh!!! Plaid doesn't look patriotic to me, but then, neither did much of that crap--you know it's bad when licious comes close to the mark . . .

michigan:

Okay, this season sucks.
If PR weren't moving to Lifetime I think we might be just in time for the Project Runway "Allstars" mini-season that all reality shows yank out of the vault eventually.
We probably won't get one now, but what past-beens do you guys think would be on it?
Certainly no one from this season so far...

Anonymous:

I'm in total agreement that this season's contestants are truly awful. Some of the people who weren't in the top -- or bottom 3 --- had some truly bad outfits that any other season would have landed them in the bottom. I thought Straight Guy's outfit deserved to win but none of them really wowed me. Jerrell's outfit reminded me of something out of the Stepford Wives.

I really think the producers are hoping that everyone gets so disgusted with this season that we won't watch next year when it goes to Lifetime. Ratings will tank and they'll blame it on the move.

Kon4MIty:

The designers this season totally suck. I never bought that whole sabotage thing until this episode. I mean, come on, we're on episode four and there's STILL nothing good. Ugh.

As for what Jerrell was wearing, I thought it looked more like Robin Hood. You know, if he'd been trampled by a horse or something.

cowfiddle:

@ michigan

me and my fellow PR watcher have been discussing a Project Runway: All Stars since the before this craptastic season even started.

I'd use the top four from each season as the the designers: or even top three with America's favorite as the fourth. My ideal casting would be: Jay, Kara Saun, Wendy, and Austin from Season One. Chloe, Daniel, Santino, and Kara, from season Two. Jefferey, Michael, Uli, and Laura, from Three. And Christian, Rami, Jillian and Chris from last season.

No one from this season would be allowed on, as of now.

itchy:

The 'tank the show' conspiracy doesn't make sense to me-- the franchise has enough draw to pull viewers into the next season regardless. And presumably the new channel will pull out the stops to make that season excellent, thereby underscoring Bravo's own lamishness.

I think they just got unlucky here. Or they're hiding a diamond in the rough who will be unveiled as time goes by. Or, more likely, truly talented designers have no need or interest to go on a show like this.

Besides, these guys are not any worse than last season-- I mean, don't you people remember that drapery guy, pulling out the same dress week after week? Or the gay parade/Divine costume guy (although he was a sympathetic personality). And the winner? A smarmy pipsqueak rehashing early 80s British new wave costumes? How soon we forget.

I knew they'd give the top spot to the liberated liberian, after giving her refugee story, just out of sympathy. I mean, after that, how could they not let her win?

I love Heidi Klum though. She's got just that right combination of mechanical delivery, lispy accent and hipthrusted posture to keep this straight guy innerested...my wife thinks it's hilarious that I watch a show about fashion, considering I dress like a complete slob. And never notice her new clothes.

juddfan:

I'm not too good with names, but I'd like to see some of the people who left too early back, and some of my favorite crazy's like Elisa, Angela and Allison, who wasn't crazy, but left too early. Never saw season 1, so can't add there. I wouldn't want an obvious frontrunner . . . . guess I could throw in Milan, tho I think he's doing fine w/out the show.

Lastly, Harvey is a cheap bastard and has probably paid in dirt for all these seasons, so it's Tim and the cast who will benefit by the move, so hopefully, they are doing their best to maintain the show . . . who knows how the contestants are selected, but it's not all bad to have a lot of ass outfits walking down the runway, then we can rip them to shreds!!!! Yay!

michigan:

Ooh, yes...
I would add Sweet P, and Kit Pistol. And Daniel from two seasons...did you list that one?
Defnitely Austin, Wendy, Kara, Kara Saun, Chris March, Wendy Pepper, and all the top three winners.

bingo blog boy:

Really love your blogs Flipit- always. Just found a fun blog on Entertainment Weekly where they interview the outgoing designers from PR. Jennifer has some interesting things to say about editing and things you may not have known about her outfit. ht p://www. ew.com/ ew/article/0,,20217996,00.html

There are spaces in the URL because you cannot post a URL here so fill in the gaps.

That's all I have time for today but thanks for the great entertainment!

killbondnow:

Great recap as always Flipit, but it's "Olympian," not Olympiad -- the Olympiad is the Games event itself. And a gentle "waist" band, not "waste" -- though I though waste was hilarious.

sunshey:

I will eternally miss Santino.

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