Daniel uses Kenley as a model for his skirt and she giggles and says she might not be the best choice because she has "definition" in her body. He nods and smiles. The point is to make the skirt look like it's two sizes too big. Worked last week! Straight Guy starts getting pissed off at Kenley and Daniel because their work tables are right behind him and all they do is giggle and make jokes and it's just soooo rude! You're the one forcing the skort on us, a hole. He's not the only one who's annoyed, but it's Kenley that's bugging everyone with her incessant horsey laugh. It's hard to blame them because she seriously won't shut up. She sounds like Wilma and Betty giggling at the same time.
On the other side of the room, Jennifer is trying to talk Korto out of making a nurse uniform. Korto likes all white because she believes in second chances and she is from Liberia where she and her family had to escape or be torutred and raped. The pain of something like that, she says, is like an open wound. Um, thanks for the history lesson, but you know what's really bad to wear when you have an open wound? White. Just saying. Where's the leather you promised?
Meh. What are you complaining about Liberia for? At least they had ice cream.
Tim comes around to check on progress. Straight Guy is first, and Tim loves the skort. It is by definition sporty because every dyke he's ever known has owned one. To take it further, Straight Guy has mixed up his zippers so one side is red on the other is blue! THAT'S CRAAAZY! Tim calls it witty, which makes me wonder if Tim was lectured by Harvey Weinstein for so openly hating this season's contestants. Blayne is up next and his work looks like a mess, but he excuses it, saying that he wants it to be literal. Tim asks him what the hell he's talking about and says it looks very Sgt. Pepper. When Blayne rolls his eyes and says he doesn't know who that is, Tim sighs and says "ah, cocaine" and shakes his head before explaining that it's a Beatles song. Blayne answers exactly! That's the era of the cardigan! Tim scrunches his face and informs Blayne that the Beatles are not from the thirties. LOL. Blayne tells us that he knows all about the Beatles because he saw Across the Universe so he likes them, but not the musty old Beatles. The new improved stoner movie Beatles. Tim looks like he is considering suicide, and as if to cement it, parts with a "holler at your boy!"
Daniel is really all over the place. The color of blue he chose is really loud and hideous, and worse, it's sewn into a long, tight skirt with a giant stripe with buttons going down the front. Tim doesn't know what to say at first, but when Daniel throws a bright red piece of fabric around the top of the dress form and says he's planning on making a bolero, Tim tells him to get his shit together and not throw the competition just because he wants a little boarding school action with his new toy. Daniel says that his work is "Wonder Woman", but I'm sorry, Lynda Carter wouldn't be caught dead in that mess.
I hope no one steals your gold medal on the way to grandmother's house.
Jerell's plan is to make a horizontally striped pencil skirt and a flowy blouse with vertical stripes and three different kinds of polka dots. Tim gives him a nono on the horizontals and says the blouse looks very Lucy Ricardo. He's being kind. Standing next to his dress form, Jerell paints quite a picture. How was this bozo cast?
Sanford and Son meets Krusty the Klown
Jennifer is sucking, too. Tim calls her out on the matronly navy blue jacket and Jennifer says that she's gonna use big jewels to offset that. Nothing says youth like a giant broach. He tells her to ramp it up, but I wish he would just hit her. Blayne dresses up and jumps around to cheer her up, but without the lion and the tin man, the scarecrow's just creepy.
There's no place like Tiffany...There's no place like Tiffany...
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Comments (18)
I love Jennifer's surreal comment after she got kicked off. Honey, there was NOTHING surreal about those designs at all. Look up the meaning of that word.
I feel so confused everytime they get to the runway. I watch the designs walk, I guess who will be called, and unlike every other previous season, all of the people I chose are called out in the middle. I thought I just had a couple of off weeks, but after last week and this week, I'm convinced they are trying to tank the show on purpose. A white leather vest over high waisted pants?! Seriously Michael Kors?
Flipit, did you notice that the whole boob squashiness of Terri's outfit disappeared after it was called back out on the runway? If you hadn't written about it, I'd have thought I imagined it.
1 of 18 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on August 7, 2008 4:11 AM
Holy cannoli, that was a fast recap! (mmmm... cannoli)
I, too, was mesmerized by Terri's models' boobs. First I was hopeful/ appalled that I would actually see them, then I was surprised/ befuddled about how they just slipped back into their appropriate place, completely unnoticed. Strange.
I also think they need to hurry up and have some double eliminations in this bitch so we can get to know some of the quieter peeps who are not completely irritating (*yet*).
Thanks for the quicky, Flipit!! (I bet you hear that all the time!!)
2 of 18 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on August 7, 2008 6:56 AM
Love the recap, I agree with you 100% about Jerrelliciousness being way too visible in the world and I seriously think that might have been MY old boy scout uniform he ganked for his latest "fashion experiment". I looked better in that uniform at 12 than he does now.
Actually I THINK what Terri said when Dickface Keith stoled her fabric was "Oh no he DI-ent! A Sistuh gotta keep one eye open!" but in Terrispeak "eye" = "at" sometimes (except after C). And hey, at least she wound up in top 3, so ha ha all over Keith.
And speaking of Keith, I'm coming to believe that Utah isn't an undesirable location for gays because of the strong Mormon presence there... it's undesirable because, well, everyone there seems to be an ASShole...
You are so quick with your recaps, you put the rest of us to shame... but I loveth you illegally anyways...
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 18 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 7, 2008 8:28 AM
So funny. I love your recaps. I didn't see 30's with Korto's pants. I saw Cher circa 1974 with them. High-waisted, too long, visible white pleats down the front. Fug. I think Straight Guy should have won. It was his only chance to win all season. C'mon.
ht tp:// www. mentalfloss.com/ blogs/ archives/ 16321
Take the erroneous spaces out & go see the real, actual team uniforms from some of the Olympic countries. Good GOD. Jerrell woulda fit right in.
4 of 18 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on August 7, 2008 10:01 AM
Heavens to Betsy! Memememe, I just checked out the uniforms on the link, and it's not often you'll hear me say this but...it makes me proud to be an American. WTF is going on with designers in the world today?! Apparently, blindness is running rampant across the globe...the only explanation for those uniforms.
As for the show, I didn't get to watch the whole episode yet, but I must share how surprised I am that Whinah even made anything halfway decent. I think she sucks, as do the producers for promoting this whole "find your voice" thing that allows one-trick ponies like her and Jennifer and...well, everyone(!) to make the same damn outfit week after week!!!
5 of 18 | Posted by MorbidCuriosity | Posted on August 7, 2008 11:22 AM
Makes one wish for the innocence and mirthful presence of Santino, doesn't it.
6 of 18 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on August 7, 2008 12:29 PM
I believe Nina had the Brazilian Blowout done. It is a miracle worker!
7 of 18 | Posted by jenday | Posted on August 7, 2008 1:01 PM
flipit rocks!!!! You make it so worth staying up late and over cocktailing to crawl to work and your speedy recap!
Flipit was so right about Pleather's outfit--LAME!!! wasn't that a poodle skirt?!
Thanks mememe for the link, and bleeeech!!! I'm voting for Germany's outfits, which sadly, are closest to straight guys look.
I found Daniel to be a twerp this time, he was bugging me, since no one really knows how to make clothes out of recyclable materials or supermarket items, I don't know why a half hour to look at examples couldn't help clarify--looked like a shiny fabric sister to the cup dress. I know Bettie Page was trying to be a pal, but didn't she say the dress looked good . . .
Who did the casting this time, I don't think Jennifer belonged from the get-go, she's too regular like us, and Kerri is so disappointing with that singer pattern number--it's not like she had immunity!!! I admit, I just hate plaids of any kind, but esp papa gino's table cloth plaids . . . ugh!!! Plaid doesn't look patriotic to me, but then, neither did much of that crap--you know it's bad when licious comes close to the mark . . .
8 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 7, 2008 1:38 PM
Okay, this season sucks.
If PR weren't moving to Lifetime I think we might be just in time for the Project Runway "Allstars" mini-season that all reality shows yank out of the vault eventually.
We probably won't get one now, but what past-beens do you guys think would be on it?
Certainly no one from this season so far...
9 of 18 | Posted by michigan | Posted on August 7, 2008 4:33 PM
I'm in total agreement that this season's contestants are truly awful. Some of the people who weren't in the top -- or bottom 3 --- had some truly bad outfits that any other season would have landed them in the bottom. I thought Straight Guy's outfit deserved to win but none of them really wowed me. Jerrell's outfit reminded me of something out of the Stepford Wives.
I really think the producers are hoping that everyone gets so disgusted with this season that we won't watch next year when it goes to Lifetime. Ratings will tank and they'll blame it on the move.
10 of 18 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 7, 2008 6:14 PM
The designers this season totally suck. I never bought that whole sabotage thing until this episode. I mean, come on, we're on episode four and there's STILL nothing good. Ugh.
As for what Jerrell was wearing, I thought it looked more like Robin Hood. You know, if he'd been trampled by a horse or something.
11 of 18 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 7, 2008 8:42 PM
@ michigan
me and my fellow PR watcher have been discussing a Project Runway: All Stars since the before this craptastic season even started.
I'd use the top four from each season as the the designers: or even top three with America's favorite as the fourth. My ideal casting would be: Jay, Kara Saun, Wendy, and Austin from Season One. Chloe, Daniel, Santino, and Kara, from season Two. Jefferey, Michael, Uli, and Laura, from Three. And Christian, Rami, Jillian and Chris from last season.
No one from this season would be allowed on, as of now.
12 of 18 | Posted by cowfiddle | Posted on August 7, 2008 9:34 PM
The 'tank the show' conspiracy doesn't make sense to me-- the franchise has enough draw to pull viewers into the next season regardless. And presumably the new channel will pull out the stops to make that season excellent, thereby underscoring Bravo's own lamishness.
I think they just got unlucky here. Or they're hiding a diamond in the rough who will be unveiled as time goes by. Or, more likely, truly talented designers have no need or interest to go on a show like this.
Besides, these guys are not any worse than last season-- I mean, don't you people remember that drapery guy, pulling out the same dress week after week? Or the gay parade/Divine costume guy (although he was a sympathetic personality). And the winner? A smarmy pipsqueak rehashing early 80s British new wave costumes? How soon we forget.
I knew they'd give the top spot to the liberated liberian, after giving her refugee story, just out of sympathy. I mean, after that, how could they not let her win?
I love Heidi Klum though. She's got just that right combination of mechanical delivery, lispy accent and hipthrusted posture to keep this straight guy innerested...my wife thinks it's hilarious that I watch a show about fashion, considering I dress like a complete slob. And never notice her new clothes.
13 of 18 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 7, 2008 11:58 PM
I'm not too good with names, but I'd like to see some of the people who left too early back, and some of my favorite crazy's like Elisa, Angela and Allison, who wasn't crazy, but left too early. Never saw season 1, so can't add there. I wouldn't want an obvious frontrunner . . . . guess I could throw in Milan, tho I think he's doing fine w/out the show.
Lastly, Harvey is a cheap bastard and has probably paid in dirt for all these seasons, so it's Tim and the cast who will benefit by the move, so hopefully, they are doing their best to maintain the show . . . who knows how the contestants are selected, but it's not all bad to have a lot of ass outfits walking down the runway, then we can rip them to shreds!!!! Yay!
14 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 8, 2008 10:16 AM
Ooh, yes...
I would add Sweet P, and Kit Pistol. And Daniel from two seasons...did you list that one?
Defnitely Austin, Wendy, Kara, Kara Saun, Chris March, Wendy Pepper, and all the top three winners.
15 of 18 | Posted by michigan | Posted on August 8, 2008 12:44 PM
Really love your blogs Flipit- always. Just found a fun blog on Entertainment Weekly where they interview the outgoing designers from PR. Jennifer has some interesting things to say about editing and things you may not have known about her outfit. ht p://www. ew.com/ ew/article/0,,20217996,00.html
There are spaces in the URL because you cannot post a URL here so fill in the gaps.
That's all I have time for today but thanks for the great entertainment!
16 of 18 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on August 9, 2008 7:24 AM
Great recap as always Flipit, but it's "Olympian," not Olympiad -- the Olympiad is the Games event itself. And a gentle "waist" band, not "waste" -- though I though waste was hilarious.
17 of 18 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on August 11, 2008 4:13 PM
I will eternally miss Santino.
18 of 18 | Posted by sunshey | Posted on August 13, 2008 8:57 PM