Project Runway: The Night Flamenco Died. Again.

This week on Project Runway, big girls cry. Well, one does.

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Zebra print hurts us all, Pleath.

Last week, Kelli One Eye was sent back home to take care of her sick grandma and I cried. My eyes are dry now, cuz I'm fickle like that, and it's on to the next sucka! One of the first shots of the day is Stella Leatha getting up in the morning. Yikes. She looks like Olive Oyl coming out of a drug coma. It's sweet that she's wearing pink, though, cuz I just figured she slept in old dirty tights and, well, leatha.

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Skip the coffee and open a can of spinach, girl.

Korto is as shocked as me that Kelli was kicked off and Daniel slid by yet again, and she's not much nicer about it than I was, saying that it's not good enough to slip by. A better strategy would be to not suck so much. Agreed. I became a fan of Korto last week after she threatened to cut Straight Guy, so I am going to pretend nothing she's made so far sucked so we can start with a clean, hero's slate.

Speaking of cutting Straight Guy, he's starting his morning by complaining about how Keith didn't deserve to win because all he does is sew swatches on to his models. Again, agreed, but Straight Guy is super rude and needs to be taken down a peg. And he needs to stop dressing like a stage manager unless he's gonna shut his trap and move some furniture around. Blayne is wearing a shirt that says "Poolboy", and I had to press pause because my mind wouldn't stop spinning. A memory...it's coming to me...Dixie Wetworth! That's who he reminds me of! I knew the face but I couldn't place him...

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Oh Cabana boooy!

Fat Bitch comes out looking as adorable and bony as ever, and she cuts right to the special guest. CHRIS MARCH! And he's wearing the Fat Lady Sings costume with disco ball boobies. When Chris announces that this challenge will be to design a dress for a drag queen, Blayne mutters "too much drama!". He also wrote that on a sticky in the beginning of the episode. I hope the producers told him that America wants licious dead and this just is his new attempt at Urban Dictionary fame. UGH. I know Chris is just here to introduce the challenge, but I can't help but wish that the producers found some technicality to allow him back on for the third time. All it took last year was a nose that wouldn't stop bleeding. If someone would just take a baseball bat to Blayne, we'd get Marchie back! Come on Korto, I'm talking to you! Chris brings the cast of queens out on the runway, and if I hadn't heard the intro I would have thought it was the Rock of Love girls.

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Brett's gonna really have a hard choice the third time around.

The designers try not to act as mortified as they are. The only one who can't hide her dismay is the one who looks like the male impersonator. Ironic, eh, Leatha? I can't tell if she's mad that she has to design for men or if she's mad cuz there's not a Cher impersonator and she feels dejected. Terri tells us how much she loves drag queens and then she licks her teeth at them. Ew. Stop that. Some of the drag names are just awesome. Farrah Moans? Anidda Greenkard? LOLOLL. I actually recognize Hedda Lettuce. Her act is pretty heavy on the raunch, and I kinda wish that Jennifer was still here to get paired with her just so I could see the look of sheer confused terror on her face. And by her I mean, well, they would probably be afraid of each other.

Straight Guy gets to pick first and goes for Sherry Vine because he loves her legs. Daniel goes for Annida Greenkard because "we both have a love for Spanish aristocratic style". At least he didn't say glamour. Blayne chooses Miss Understood because no one lets him say licious anymore, Kenley chooses Farrah Moans and then laughs that horsey laugh. She better keep her smart mouth in check this week or Farrah will beat her ass. Straight Guy chooses Varla Jean Merman because she looks the most like his wife, and Terri chooses Sweetie because she loves sugar. Sweetie, "NYC's big titted honkey soul mama", or as I like to think of her, Divine, tells Terri to "watch out honey, you might rot your teeth." HAHA I love this episode.

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Comments (23)

missbunnyhugs:

Here are the movies referenced in the comments made that didn't make sense:

"Don't f*ck with me, fellas... this ain't my first time at the rodeo!" is a quote from the movie "Mommie Dearest", the movie based on the scathing memoir written by Cristina Crawford, Joan Crawford's adopted daughter. The movie was unintentionally hysterical b/c of Faye Dunaway's completely over-the-top performance as Joan; this movie is a total drag classic. That line occurs when Joan is challenging the Pepsi board of directors, who are trying to intimidate her into staying away from the company after Alfred Steele, her late husband and presdident of Pepsi, has left her shares in his will entitling her to be part of the board.The movie was first marketed as a serious drama to universally bad reviews and poor business, but when the studio found out that it was viewed as a camp classic in the gay community, they tried marketing it as a comedy complete with reference to the "No wire hangers, EVAH!!!" line, another extemely funny moment when Joan wakes Cristina in the middle of the night to make her clean her bathroom (she then bops her on the head with a can of Bon Ami scrubbing powder). This movie must be seen to be believed.

"Mahogany" is another camp classic from the 70's (1974?) starring Diana Ross as a poor girl from the inner city who dreams of becoming a fashion designer. She first becomes a world-famous model, and falls in with a decadent jet-set crowd, also ditching her serious good-guy boyfriend (Billy Dee Williams) and taking up with a sleazy photographer (played by Anthony Perkins!!!) who later goes insane and tries to kill her.The movie had some marketing like "What good is success when you have no one to share it with?", and the theme song "Do you Know where you're going to?" was a smash hit. It was a total vanity project produced (I think) by Berry Gordy and Diana herself, intended to showcase Diana's talent as a Serious Actress (she gained respect from her star turn as Billie Holiday in "Lady Sings the Blue"); instead it cemented her place as a gay icon and diva extreme. The movie opens with a totally insane runway show which has a Kabuki/Asian theme, and it must be seen to be believed... Terri's outfit would have fit right in. Apparently, Diana herself also had a role in desining the costumes for her character, and I think she even included some clothing from her own personal wardrobe!
Whew! Forgive misspelling; it's early in the morning. Just wanted to provide some clarity.

flipit:

thanks bunny! i got the mommy dearest quote. i just didn't get why it was "i've been to another rodeo" instead of "this ain't my first time at the rodeo." worded funny.

and thanks for the education on mahogany! i am a terrible, terrible gay and feel like a moron for not knowing that. i will never not know it again, though! thanks! xo

Pegster:

Blayne is trying waaaay too hard to get his own, "barfilicious montage" at the reunion show.

Next week's preview: Laura is back to judge! I guess it's going to be an old lady cocktail dress challenge, then.

missbunnyhugs:

Hi Flipit,
I saw Mahogany while in fashion design school (yes, it was Parsons! Every week is like going home)b/c 2 of my best friends (gay brothers) were OBSESSED with this movie. Also, several teachers mentioned it as an example of hysterical costume design, and I read about the making of the movie in "Call Her Miss Ross", the fairly unflattering biography of Diana written a couple of years ago. If it wasn't for those circumstances, I wouldn't know about Mahogany either- it is rarely shown on TV.I'm a straight lady, but I definitely appreciated this movie & costumes- think Bob Mackie on crack.
Tim and Chris are the terrible, terrible gays for getting the "rodeo" quote wrong!It really made no sense if you weren't a scholar of campy movies.
I love your recaps + the prompt posting- I am also loving Terri and her no-nonsense attitude. Regarding Blayne, I think he's there to fill the slot of "totally bonkers contestant" (think of Vincent in season 3). I hope he is sent back to the hell from whence he came, very soon.
Here's a funny thing- there is a little bodega across the street from my apartment called "Snacklicious"! No kidding- it's on 2nd Ave. between St. Marks and 7th street in NYC.

carmelicious:

Okay - I officially hate Blayne because now I have to change my user name (in my defense, I came up with it during the height of Fergie, Fergalicious, whatever, I hate you stupid Blayne! - not to mention that you outfit was literally falling apart on the runway and no one called you out for it!)

Awesome Recap!! (as usual!)

Even though Daniel agrivates me

carmelicious:

.......I kinda like his dress, in a non-drag way!

Tim's "gay Jurassic Park" is my fav quote from him this season! Cracked me up!

J-Mo:

Flipit, you TOTALLY get a pass on the "Mahogany" thing because RuPaul looked such a hot mess last night (I have no idea when she started french-kissing electrical outlets, but it has to stop NOW!) and because I knew you would SO do this episode true justice.

Pleather's treatment of and complaining about Hedda Lettuce was wrong in so many ways (he must really not even know any drag queens, he acted like she was from another planet, which she is, but it should be a planet he's visited well and often judging from the fact that he looks like Papa Smurf wiped his ass on the fucker's head). Hedda is actually a friend of mine (well, okay, a MySpace friend, so it only sorta counts, but we have had personal messages back and forth before) and she is seriously, awesomely funny and would have been any OTHER designer's DREAM to work for (hello, you already KNOW what color palette you're going to be working with!) plus it would appear that Pleather has no sense of humor, I didn't get that Hedda was trying to be super mean about the GLARING flaws in the design of that wilted pile of veggie crapaliciousness (*poke something between Blayne's gapped teeth*) I thought they were valid concerns thrown out with a bit of biting humor! And I love how Jerrell and some of the others were telling him to talk shit to her, because if it's one thing you never ever ever EVER wanna do, it's take on a drag queen in a verbal sparring match, those bitches do not PLAY, they will not let you LIVE, they are DEADLY because they do it several nights a week and they will take you APART! Trust, I know!

Flipit, you totally must have been in heaven here, and I love the comment about Pleather's dead grandfather spitting 'baccy juice down on him from heaven, because that whole weepy-kisses-to-heaven segment screamed "BULLSHIT" to me... I'm tired of people tossing dead relatives out there on reality shows and then crying over it to get sympathy votes (ever since that Johnny Fairplay guy faked it his grandmother dying on "Survivor", I don't believe anyone anymore). Hedda says Pleather brought this up to her as well, but they didn't air that footage, my guess is because Hedda probably burst out laughing (like I did, Pleather is such a terrible overactor!) Anyhow, great awesome recap Flipit, you are still the master and I wuv you!

xoxoxox
J-Mo :)

P.S. Rent "Mahogany" sometime to see this particular dress that Miss Ross wears... it looks like a Christmas Tree skirt around her neck (it's one big circle) and it's pleated and in a giant rainbow pinwheel of colors... like a gay pride skirt only cinched up tight around the neck... it's hideous... and gaylici-*SMACK* Ow! That hurt! Okay, I'll stop! -J :)

silver:

"I picked off a scab with more sparkle."

You kill me! Thanks for the quick recap. I loved this episode.
I also didn't get Terry's outfit and could not understand why the judges were so ga-ga over it. Wish that Stella would be allowed to stay out for judging so she could be complemented for meeting the needs of each challenge while keeping her aesthetic true to herself. I fear that the one time she goes "out of her comfort zone" (to use a most overused reality phrase) she'll get booted.

Clair:

"Please don't hurt me. I'm very glamorous."

Clair:

Part of my previous comment was cut off. It should have read:

"Please don't hurt me. I'm very glamorous" is my favorite quote from your awesome recap.

suckitbitches:

I loved Terri's outfit. It seemed a perfect fit for model. It was over the top but really well-made and it seemed to match Acid Betty's persona. Wasn't that the point? I thought it should have won.

Fayellis1:

Don't feel bad Flipit, although I thought every gay over the age of 5 has seen Mahogany, especially since every singe sitcom Billy Dee Williams guest starred on in the 80's and 90's he gave his famous line from the movie "Do you want my arm to fall off" Remember when the Jefferson's made Florence nearly fainted when she realized he was the real Billy Dee and started trying to take them curlers out her head and he put his hand out and said "Do you want my arm to fall off" Has no one here EVER heard him mutter that line anywhere?!?! Am I the only one?!?! P.S. If someone you know is selling a life on line, let me know, cause I am in desperate need of one

Anonymous:

I find it so funny that the only straight guy on the show won a challenge designing for drag queens!

I for one loved Laura when she was on the show. Her clothes were always impeccably made and very classy.

I'm surprised Blayne's outfit wasn't in the bottom three -- but I'm happier that Daniel is gone. I've never seen anyone act so depressed all the time --- except maybe for Stella.

here4beer:

This was the best episode of PR in history.

That is all.

detinha:

Thanks great recap!
I'm surprised you didn't pick on Keith's pants! Was it raining in NY? LOL Also, and if Korto's ass gets any bigger it'll need it's own zip code! lol
I hated kimono outfit too! I think I'm looking at different show than those judges!
BTW, they should have the drag queens in every show! They're so funny and walk much better than those hungry models!
I'm not rooting for anybody this season, and I only watch the show so I know what you're talking about when I read the recap. Bravo should pay you! lol

User Name:

LOVE these recaps! I can't wait to read it on Wed mornings. As soon as I saw that shot of Stella getting up, I knew it would be on this site. I'm starting to like her too.

The right people won and lost this week at least. Now it's time for Pleather to GO! Keep up the good work

bingo blog boy:

Flipit- once again you brough-it. And like User Name says (what a great user name!), I really look forward to your recaps each week. For the record, here in LA I have produced a weekly charity event called "Legendary Bingo" for 10 years and have worked with some really amazing drag queens or "gender illusionists" as they are sometimes wont to be called (fancy!). So I was looking forward to this episode and was not all that disappointed. I know Varla Jean (he/she has hosted bingo with us a few times) but the others I guess are strictly NY drag queens. Couldn't help but want to see Momma and/or Miss Coco Peru and /or Bridgette of Madison County out there instead of a couple of the tragic ones (whom I won't name).

All that being said, the big tragedy of the show was RuPaul. What ever happened to the "you better work it" girl? Besides the fact that he is incredibly gaunt (I hope that he is not in bad health) the biggest sin was a bad wig! A really bad wig! No bad wigs! Ever!

All in all a fun episode and yes, seeing Chris March there really makes one nostalgic for the good old days when the designers didn't each have their own writers penning the next days "catch phrases" and helping them "define their persona" so that they can assure themselves of at least one Saturn commercial in the season to come.

Memememe:

I hereby request that no one, ever, shall perform Project Runway duties of recappitude except Flipit. Can I get a second or a raise-the-roof or an amen up in here?

I loved the L'Oreal Makeup Room and Tresseme Hair Salon act because most of these fabulous ladies showed up with their own makeup done, wearing wigs. That means extra time for the designnnnnnrs to make it work....and Daniel and Keith STILL sent those train wrecks down the runway.

"Kors says she gave Sweetie Heidi's body. He is so paying for that later." -- Actually, it's fine, remember? Heidi is a fat bitch. OH!

Blayne's right-shoulder-point-droop made me sad. Hobo's dress made Kors admit that his family member would wear such a thing, and Ru was saying it was too much of a normal dress to be campy drag queen. Put those two statements together and make what you will of them.

Speaking of her, RuPaul looked very gaunt and pointy-chinned. And her wig was so flat. Why is that? But she was still snappy with the wit. I'd appreciate "cherry-stained oak" as a superlative every bit as much as the Mahogany reference. Do ya know..where you're goin' to.. (Actually, "serious good-guy boyfriend (Billy Dee Williams)" threw me off. Billy Dee played the nice guy?? Did this movie send him hurtling into the good-time-place Colt 45 ads to cement his persona as a non-wuss?)

carmelicious, don't you let that faded tan dictate the whatfor to you. I love your name, and you were here first.

murphena:

Memememe has the right idea -- I think Blayne's nickname should be Faded Tan...

mrsdaddytom:

"Kenley's one of those girls I don't really like but always want to sit next to." i work with a girl like that. i hate her, but somehow i desperately want her to like me. what IS that? how do we find that power, and how can we harness it and use it for evil???

melpadgett:

Varla's ass is so yummy I wanna take a bite of it....


This was the best PR show and your best recap E.V.E.R. thank you flipit!
what's up with the editing anyway...did we not all HATE Jerrell and now he is so likeable...same with Stella..WTF??!!!

killbondnow:

Note to Korto, who wants to be a "fashion designer."

Learn to pronounce Empire waist.

"EHM-pyre" NO.

"Ahm-PEER" YES.

I was rooting for Korto but she lost all credibility with me on that. This is total first-semester fashion history course...


juddfan:

Sorry I'm so late Flip! I was out of town, but thanks as always for the fantastic recap on what may have been one of the most superlicious epi's evah!!!!

Big Hugs!

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