Since the boyish models sat on the bench last week while the mannish models did their thing, two of them have to go this week. Awww! I feel horrible for them. They've worked so hard and studied so much to get where they are today! Just kidding. I hope they both cry and threaten to commit suicide on national tv. Straight Guy won last week after Varla turned his Pepto Elvis number into a cute sailor outfit with a giant candy bowl, so he gets to decide whether or not to keep his stick. In order to "keep peace in the modeling world," he stays with his girl and sends the others packing. Dammit. Screw peace! I WANT WAR! I hope the rest of the episode isn't as disappointing as this beginning.
Heidi tells the designers that they will get their assignment on the rooftop of a building on W 31st St. Blayne thinks that since they're meeting on a rooftop, the client must be a super celebrity and wanna meet somewhere exclusive. LOL. Anyone else hoping the challenge is for Blayne to walk to the edge and wait for the wind to do it's thing? Man, sorry about all the violence in my remarks the past two paragraphs. I just turned thirtysomething again and I'm not taking it well. On a positive note, I still look ten years younger than Blayne, but then again so does Cloris Leachman so I shouldn't pat myself on the pores too hard.
Deborah Clasky: Do I need to put on make-up?
Evelyn Norwich: You need a hose, but we don't have that kinda time.
As they approach a huge parking garage, CutToe speculates that the client might be Mariah Carey. Since she's not going to be on an NBC owned TV show any time soon, I doubt it, but it would be hilarious if she just happened to be up on the roof with a bag of Doritos and a 40 anyway, like "why can't you people just let me be a NORMAL GODDAMN PERSON!?! IS THERE NOWHERE I CAN BE ALOOOONE?" In the elevator up to the roof, Blayne starts singing "The Roof is on Fire". If only. When they get to the top, there are a bunch of ugly ass twenty dollar Saturns all lined up. The engines all start gunning and the cars start coming at them. The last one standing wins one of the cars and THE END. Next season! Way to wipe the slate, Harvey! Sorry, thirtysomething violence.
Tim is standing there next to a tiny little Irishman that looks frighteningly like Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada. Tim introduces him as Chris Webb. OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IT IS A HUGE STAR! What? You've never heard of Chris Webb? Have you all been living under a rock? He's only the LEAD color designer at Saturn! Just look around the rooftop and tell me you aren't stunned by his work. A red car? Grey? Get the fuck out, Chris Webb. Above and beyond, you little genius pants.
Groundbreaking stuff, Tucci.
Chris tells them that these brand new Saturn hybrids are made up almost entirely of recyclable material. Makes you wanna run right out and buy one, don't it? Nothing that will disintegrate during your lifetime would produce a vehicle safe enough to drive the kids to school in. Your car is meant to live forever, and clog up the world like every other discarded car. It's our right as Americans. The challenge will be to use the same materials used in the cars to make stunning outfits. A tiny trickle of pee runs down Jerell's leg. He's dumpster dived to get supplies before, but even the Hobosexual's above trying to make a recyclable shit Saturn cute. The Saturn hate there surprised me when it came out. I had no idea it was even in me. I think it's because I am scarred from the commercials of Sebelia and Santino driving them. You caused this resentment, Saturn! Look upon thyself!
And I thought designing my prom tux out of Quarter Pounder wrappers and discarded stained bras was tough.
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Comments (17)
Hey... I liked Suede's dress this week. It was shiny and moved great & Jan Smithers' dress would be perfect for my wide-ass hips!!
So happy Keith got dressed down by Michael. I'll never understand why these designers NEVER listen to Tim!
Great job as always Flipit!
1 of 17 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on August 28, 2008 4:51 AM
awesome recap, you made me crap up a lot-- especially your photo captions!
Rachel Zoe is/was the stylists for Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Misha Barton...essentially she is known for making her clients starve themselves and then dressing them like street bums in oversized clothes.
I loved Korto's jacket but I was surprised that they didn't point out how many of the stylists used the easiest material (seat belts) for their outfits. I also thought Pleather's skirt was great, but he should have done the top with the leather seat cushions. And I LOVED Squircangle's outfit. I think she's pretty damn incredible with her ideas and fits. The challenge was supposed to be innovative so it didn't bother me about the big hips style...it looks so well made. I also liked Kenleys and how she went with the filters and colored on the pattern. Awesome.
I think the girls are the dominant ones this year. To me, my top 4 are Scuirc, Korto, Terri and Kenley. I like that Terri doesn't always just do a dress. She has the most variety, in my opinion.
I never thought I'd say this, but as ANNOYING as Blayne and the whole "licious" stuff is...I really like the kid. He seems to enjoy everyone and making them laugh.
And I enjoyed the whole Terri/Korto "Jeepers Creepers" bit b/c you can tell they are friends and Korto was totally taking it in stride. I thought it was funny. Then Jerrell had to go and ruin it!
Okay, I've babbled...great recap as usuaL!
2 of 17 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 28, 2008 5:56 AM
OH MY GOD- I meant to say "You made me CRACK up" a lot... But "CRAP up" is pretty funny!!
3 of 17 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 28, 2008 5:59 AM
Loved your recap as always. This is the first time I think the judges got it right both ways. I think pleather has forgotten that he wanted to talk about himself in 3rd person because he keeps forgetting to say Suede at every given chance. I agree with serjen the girls have it. These guys just aren't consistant enough. I think Korto FTW.
4 of 17 | Posted by Sloane | Posted on August 28, 2008 7:07 AM
OMG - Love it!! This recap was awesome! This was my fav: "Right now Heaven's all LOLOLLLLLLL dickwad." Thank you for that Flipit, no seriously, I will think of that line everytime I get pissed because someone at a stoplight doesn't know that green means go, and I forget all the lessons I learned in anger management. Step 1: Think of something funny! Step 2: Don't get out of the car...
I feel like I've gone to crazy-town or something, I thought Hobosexi's outfit looked like ass - it was so short that I could see cooch, and made his model look sunken-in. I really liked Terri's look. Maybe just because it was different, but it was one of the first times I was like, I would so wear that!
Then there is Squircangle - I agree that top was fab, and it beautifully made - but the skirt looked like there were horns coming out of the model's thighs - like she was hiding 2 people's heads under there - I don't know.
Oh! One more thing - you totally nailed the Korto problem. During the show, I was all, "the seatbelt jacket looks cool, but something is just not right." It was the model - I wonder if her dad and grandpa died too? Like earlier that day?
Anywho - Thanks again! (and I decided to keep my user-name - mostly because last week some nice commenters said I should, also because I'm really F'ing lazy)
5 of 17 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on August 28, 2008 7:24 AM
I'm going to have to change MY screen name. It's going to be spelled Millikrzyzynskquilourtuwaxabroughmipenivixylaciousness and will be pronounced "Mueh". Everybody who gets it wrong when addressing me is going to arouse seriously irate anger. I'm just sayin'. It's not like someone could be named "Kutto" instead of "Korto" or anything, but then again, the concept of "the silent r" has always given me trouble since grammar school...
Flipit you made me laugh so hard with the poo pellets raining down from heaven that I think *I* left a poo pellet of my own on the computer chair! You know, trotting out long-dead relatives for sympathy on reality shows is close to the lowest of the low for me. Next week it will be his great great great grandfather whom he never knew but whose death in 1847 still greatly depresses the Pleather of today. There will be more kisses to heaven, and just ONCE I would love to have a poltergeist conjure up a flying pair of scissors or something to cut that damned blue mohawk off! Or stab him somewhere non-lethal, like his ass.
Terri is lovely, I kinda want to see her and KUTTO in the finals together, too...
Great recap! You are loved!
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxox
6 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 28, 2008 8:12 AM
Honestly, I've always thought Korto's model looks depressed at every runway show!
7 of 17 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 28, 2008 9:30 AM
Flip, I think you meant to say... "there is, in fact, a God. And SHE is fabulous."
:)
8 of 17 | Posted by Clair | Posted on August 28, 2008 10:56 AM
Hey Flip,
You are soooo amazing with these recaps flying at the speed of light!!!! Too funny, I love it when you're in that black mood, but if it's connected to your 30-something, well, happy 30 something anyway!!!! Big Hugs!!!
Loved the show, loved the materials, loved Squircangles dress, and I kinda liked Jerel's look too! I can't tell whose the frontrunner at this point, but lovin' me some Leatha--hope she goes far, even though that was a miss--did she not find her snaps?!
Terri's look rocked too, it was simple, but if those were seat belt pants, Bravo!!!
9 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 28, 2008 1:49 PM
Another awesome (and awesomely fast recap) Flipit!
And OK, seriously? I just noticed for the first time last night that Hobosexual is only 28. 28!!! He looks in his 40s to me; perhaps he should warn Licous that this is what happens to people who tan incessantly.
10 of 17 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on August 28, 2008 1:50 PM
Yawn. i would have been much more excited if they didn't already do this exact challenge on this season of Project Runway Australia. The designs were better there too, since a few of those contestants aren't talentless hacks.
11 of 17 | Posted by abaumga2 | Posted on August 28, 2008 4:11 PM
LOL! Loved the recap...and it came out soooo fast! (hint/hint J-Mo! lol)!
I couldn't believe when Pale Blayne called Tim, "Timlicious"! Very funny!
OK, I see everybody loves Cut-toe, but she likes to make those coats/ jackets, doesn't she?!
My guess is that next week StraightGuy goes back to his wife and kids!
Thanks for the great recap and pictures! :)
12 of 17 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 28, 2008 4:16 PM
abaugma2 I was sooo gonna say that. And the designers didn't freak out, they were more excited that they got to do something creative. These people are such whiny bitches about it and the Australians were like, oh sweet we get to do something interesting.
Korto's was fab. I would seriously wear that coat as is.
And Tim totally giggled when Blayne called him "Timlicious". I think that is the only "licious" i have actually smiled at because I adore Tim Gunn and any time he smiles, it fills me with joy.
13 of 17 | Posted by pixiegal262 | Posted on August 28, 2008 4:30 PM
I loved CutToe's jacket too --- I think she will definitely be in the top three along with Terri. The judges are always busting on the designers when they make things that made the models look fat and then they pick Squircangle's outfit as the best?? I loved the top but the hips were absolutely awful. Can you imagine anyone who's not a size 0 wearing that?
Loved seeing Laura back on the show. She's one of my all time favorites mainly because I can actually imagine myself wearing some of her clothes.
14 of 17 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 28, 2008 5:57 PM
best. recap. ever.
keep the 30something angst because it makes you...dare i say...snarkilicious???
love it.
serjen--i loled at your two comments two. crap up. awesome.
15 of 17 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 29, 2008 12:40 PM
This is an obvious question, but if Korto's name is pronounced Cut-toe, why is there an R in it? Does this mean Kors is really pronounced Koss?
As Hobo's bustier was coming together, I thought it looked like a Halloween costume. "I'm a Volkswagen!" Hang a license plate around her neck and off she goes.
"Don't trust the bitch" is already showing up in the bloggysphere as an animated gif and avatar. I like it, for the next 1.5 weeks. Maybe less.
Rachel Zoe the stylist is responsible for all those tiny, anorexic women wearing huge bug-eye sunglasses that are 2x the width of their faces. Did she also dress them in Ugg boots? ugh.
Straight Guy's dress looked like a BMX racer commissioned his girlfriend a prom dress. I liked Terri's outfit. Blayne's was terrible but I'm not going to argue since Keith is gone. What was Leatha thinking, with those horizontal stripes? Good grief, even I know no one looks good in those.
YAY Keith is gone, happy happy joy joy. He bawled his eyes out at the end, which ordinarily might invoke some sympathy from me. But not for you! Sucka! You don't like the opportunities in SLC? MOVE.
ahhhh it's gonna be nice to have him gone.
16 of 17 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on August 29, 2008 2:41 PM
Not to defend Keith, as I am v. happy he is gone....
I think his point about the problem with his incomplete skirt was that the model ripped it, so he had to fix it, which didn't give him enough time to finish the belt.
Still.
If your garment is that delicate, moron, don't make the model wear it for an extra hour!
Also, the amount of time it takes to resew an inch of a seam does not equal the time it takes to cut, trim, hem and finish a belt. He would not have been done, regardless, and at least he could have cut off the hangy bit! Grrr....good to see his cry-baby ass go home.
17 of 17 | Posted by marishka | Posted on September 4, 2008 10:47 AM