Tim gets over to Keith, who's all waaaahhh waaaahhh wahhhhpoopie diaper. He also has very little done, which doesn't stop him from telling Tim that the judges don't "get' his innovation so he wants to show them something clean and well constructed. Tim's like good luck with that, k? Keith tells us that Tim didn't see as much innovation as he wanted to but Keith's here to impress the judges. Oh, snap. The judges totally don't wanna see innovation, good call dumbass. They're so hoping you ignore everything Tim Gunn says. At this point, he just needs to have something to send down the runway, cuz he's got nothin'.

As Tim leaves, he says he's very excited by what he's seen so far. When he's gone, Terri tells us that she loves CutToe's "scarecrow" coat and hopes her friend gets her shit together "cuz right now it looks like Jeepers Creepers and you better run cuz it's gone getchoo." LOL. Unlike some people (KENLEY) she has the nerve to say it to CutToe's face while literally rolling on the floor laughing her ass off. CutToe tries to ignore her and says "hating on you." HA. Please let this be the final two, for the entertainment value alone. CutToe may not be offended, but Hobosexi is. He says that Terri has two faces and four patterns and he "don't trust the bitch". Just for the record, two faces means you're mean to people behind their back and then nice to their face. Like how YOU'RE being. Terri has the balls to say that shit to your face. And at least she has patterns and doesn't just sew together crap she found in the trash, asshole. Polka dot hat. That's all I have to say to you.

Towards the end of the day, Keith gets up from his sewing machine and tells everyone not to fuck it up. Then he walks around slamming things down and cursing, leaving the other designers annoyed at his attitude. He tells us that he can deal with the bitchy designers, but he wants this more than everyone else and he deserves it more than they do. I am actually speechless. Keith is the kind of guy to cry after lottery numbers are pulled. WHY NOT MEEEE????

That night back at the apartments, Leatha is allowed to make a call. It's odd to see her in her sideways leather cap and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane eye makeup talking to her boyfriend on a Sidekick. Odd and wonderful. Then we get to see a pic of her partner in love and fashion, Rat Bones. Their line is gonna be called Zotis and Bones. Laura Ashley was already taken.

200808272213
I see you two going very far together. As long as there are bears and bottoms, there will be slings.


She talks to her man the same way as she talks to us. "It's haaaaaaaawd!" The next morning, everyone awakens ready to rumble, and CutToe tells us that if she's called out in the bottom three "it's on. I'm not going down without a fight." Now I'm hoping she is in the bottom three, because I wanna see Nina get smacked around. The designers all get to the workroom to fit their models and get them all cute. Keith just needs to sew something. His skirt is way too tight on his model, aside from being really poorly made and fug. He orders her not to sit during hair and makup, which doesn't work for the Tresseme queens. She comes back with a tear in the skirt and he gets pissy. HAHA. He tells us that he gave one tiny assignment to a model and she couldn't even listen to that. Sure it's a competition for her, but it's so much more meaningful for him! WAAAHHHH WAHHHHHHhahahahahahahahaaaahhaaaa. I love it. Please please please cry and beg the judges not to send you back to Salt Lake.

Speaking of whiners, everything worked out ok with Kenley's new model, but she has to tell us that it would have looked better on the other girl. What is wrong with these people? Don't they know they're on TV? At least have the foresight to pretend you're a decent human being. Your parents are watching. Squircangle made giant hips on her model but wants to make sure they don't sink, so she stuffs them with muslin. Stuffing a model. Squirc, I didn't know you had it in you. Me likey.

200808272223
D. I would cut off dinky first with a nail file.

Time for the runway show! Fat Bitch comes out wearing a pretty dress that makes her boobs look kinda crazy.

200808272227
Did the hobo make that?

Project Runway: Don't Carry a Dowdy Chicken On Your Shoulder Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8 

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Comments (17)

chooch850:

Hey... I liked Suede's dress this week. It was shiny and moved great & Jan Smithers' dress would be perfect for my wide-ass hips!!

So happy Keith got dressed down by Michael. I'll never understand why these designers NEVER listen to Tim!

Great job as always Flipit!

serjen:

awesome recap, you made me crap up a lot-- especially your photo captions!

Rachel Zoe is/was the stylists for Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Misha Barton...essentially she is known for making her clients starve themselves and then dressing them like street bums in oversized clothes.

I loved Korto's jacket but I was surprised that they didn't point out how many of the stylists used the easiest material (seat belts) for their outfits. I also thought Pleather's skirt was great, but he should have done the top with the leather seat cushions. And I LOVED Squircangle's outfit. I think she's pretty damn incredible with her ideas and fits. The challenge was supposed to be innovative so it didn't bother me about the big hips style...it looks so well made. I also liked Kenleys and how she went with the filters and colored on the pattern. Awesome.

I think the girls are the dominant ones this year. To me, my top 4 are Scuirc, Korto, Terri and Kenley. I like that Terri doesn't always just do a dress. She has the most variety, in my opinion.

I never thought I'd say this, but as ANNOYING as Blayne and the whole "licious" stuff is...I really like the kid. He seems to enjoy everyone and making them laugh.
And I enjoyed the whole Terri/Korto "Jeepers Creepers" bit b/c you can tell they are friends and Korto was totally taking it in stride. I thought it was funny. Then Jerrell had to go and ruin it!

Okay, I've babbled...great recap as usuaL!

serjen:

OH MY GOD- I meant to say "You made me CRACK up" a lot... But "CRAP up" is pretty funny!!

Sloane:

Loved your recap as always. This is the first time I think the judges got it right both ways. I think pleather has forgotten that he wanted to talk about himself in 3rd person because he keeps forgetting to say Suede at every given chance. I agree with serjen the girls have it. These guys just aren't consistant enough. I think Korto FTW.

carmelicious:

OMG - Love it!! This recap was awesome! This was my fav: "Right now Heaven's all LOLOLLLLLLL dickwad." Thank you for that Flipit, no seriously, I will think of that line everytime I get pissed because someone at a stoplight doesn't know that green means go, and I forget all the lessons I learned in anger management. Step 1: Think of something funny! Step 2: Don't get out of the car...

I feel like I've gone to crazy-town or something, I thought Hobosexi's outfit looked like ass - it was so short that I could see cooch, and made his model look sunken-in. I really liked Terri's look. Maybe just because it was different, but it was one of the first times I was like, I would so wear that!

Then there is Squircangle - I agree that top was fab, and it beautifully made - but the skirt looked like there were horns coming out of the model's thighs - like she was hiding 2 people's heads under there - I don't know.

Oh! One more thing - you totally nailed the Korto problem. During the show, I was all, "the seatbelt jacket looks cool, but something is just not right." It was the model - I wonder if her dad and grandpa died too? Like earlier that day?

Anywho - Thanks again! (and I decided to keep my user-name - mostly because last week some nice commenters said I should, also because I'm really F'ing lazy)

J-Mo:

I'm going to have to change MY screen name. It's going to be spelled Millikrzyzynskquilourtuwaxabroughmipenivixylaciousness and will be pronounced "Mueh". Everybody who gets it wrong when addressing me is going to arouse seriously irate anger. I'm just sayin'. It's not like someone could be named "Kutto" instead of "Korto" or anything, but then again, the concept of "the silent r" has always given me trouble since grammar school...

Flipit you made me laugh so hard with the poo pellets raining down from heaven that I think *I* left a poo pellet of my own on the computer chair! You know, trotting out long-dead relatives for sympathy on reality shows is close to the lowest of the low for me. Next week it will be his great great great grandfather whom he never knew but whose death in 1847 still greatly depresses the Pleather of today. There will be more kisses to heaven, and just ONCE I would love to have a poltergeist conjure up a flying pair of scissors or something to cut that damned blue mohawk off! Or stab him somewhere non-lethal, like his ass.

Terri is lovely, I kinda want to see her and KUTTO in the finals together, too...

Great recap! You are loved!

love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxox

serjen:

Honestly, I've always thought Korto's model looks depressed at every runway show!

Clair:

Flip, I think you meant to say... "there is, in fact, a God. And SHE is fabulous."

:)

juddfan:

Hey Flip,

You are soooo amazing with these recaps flying at the speed of light!!!! Too funny, I love it when you're in that black mood, but if it's connected to your 30-something, well, happy 30 something anyway!!!! Big Hugs!!!

Loved the show, loved the materials, loved Squircangles dress, and I kinda liked Jerel's look too! I can't tell whose the frontrunner at this point, but lovin' me some Leatha--hope she goes far, even though that was a miss--did she not find her snaps?!

Terri's look rocked too, it was simple, but if those were seat belt pants, Bravo!!!

here4beer:

Another awesome (and awesomely fast recap) Flipit!

And OK, seriously? I just noticed for the first time last night that Hobosexual is only 28. 28!!! He looks in his 40s to me; perhaps he should warn Licous that this is what happens to people who tan incessantly.

abaumga2:

Yawn. i would have been much more excited if they didn't already do this exact challenge on this season of Project Runway Australia. The designs were better there too, since a few of those contestants aren't talentless hacks.

detinha:

LOL! Loved the recap...and it came out soooo fast! (hint/hint J-Mo! lol)!
I couldn't believe when Pale Blayne called Tim, "Timlicious"! Very funny!
OK, I see everybody loves Cut-toe, but she likes to make those coats/ jackets, doesn't she?!
My guess is that next week StraightGuy goes back to his wife and kids!
Thanks for the great recap and pictures! :)

pixiegal262:

abaugma2 I was sooo gonna say that. And the designers didn't freak out, they were more excited that they got to do something creative. These people are such whiny bitches about it and the Australians were like, oh sweet we get to do something interesting.

Korto's was fab. I would seriously wear that coat as is.

And Tim totally giggled when Blayne called him "Timlicious". I think that is the only "licious" i have actually smiled at because I adore Tim Gunn and any time he smiles, it fills me with joy.

Anonymous:

I loved CutToe's jacket too --- I think she will definitely be in the top three along with Terri. The judges are always busting on the designers when they make things that made the models look fat and then they pick Squircangle's outfit as the best?? I loved the top but the hips were absolutely awful. Can you imagine anyone who's not a size 0 wearing that?

Loved seeing Laura back on the show. She's one of my all time favorites mainly because I can actually imagine myself wearing some of her clothes.

mrsdaddytom:

best. recap. ever.

keep the 30something angst because it makes you...dare i say...snarkilicious???

love it.

serjen--i loled at your two comments two. crap up. awesome.

Memememe:

This is an obvious question, but if Korto's name is pronounced Cut-toe, why is there an R in it? Does this mean Kors is really pronounced Koss?

As Hobo's bustier was coming together, I thought it looked like a Halloween costume. "I'm a Volkswagen!" Hang a license plate around her neck and off she goes.

"Don't trust the bitch" is already showing up in the bloggysphere as an animated gif and avatar. I like it, for the next 1.5 weeks. Maybe less.

Rachel Zoe the stylist is responsible for all those tiny, anorexic women wearing huge bug-eye sunglasses that are 2x the width of their faces. Did she also dress them in Ugg boots? ugh.

Straight Guy's dress looked like a BMX racer commissioned his girlfriend a prom dress. I liked Terri's outfit. Blayne's was terrible but I'm not going to argue since Keith is gone. What was Leatha thinking, with those horizontal stripes? Good grief, even I know no one looks good in those.

YAY Keith is gone, happy happy joy joy. He bawled his eyes out at the end, which ordinarily might invoke some sympathy from me. But not for you! Sucka! You don't like the opportunities in SLC? MOVE.

ahhhh it's gonna be nice to have him gone.

marishka:

Not to defend Keith, as I am v. happy he is gone....

I think his point about the problem with his incomplete skirt was that the model ripped it, so he had to fix it, which didn't give him enough time to finish the belt.

Still.

If your garment is that delicate, moron, don't make the model wear it for an extra hour!

Also, the amount of time it takes to resew an inch of a seam does not equal the time it takes to cut, trim, hem and finish a belt. He would not have been done, regardless, and at least he could have cut off the hangy bit! Grrr....good to see his cry-baby ass go home.

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