And then bam! She's right up in our faces for a closeup! I have to press pause and try not to scream and run into the street and beg for someone to run me over. I calm down and remind myself that not everyone can age as gracefully as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman before pressing play again. It's Mister Toad!
VonMisterToadbergberg! I love your ride!
What do you wanna bet this bitch is taking the elevator back up? The designers make a giant puddle of pee on the floor and Kenley starts crying because she was traumatized as a kid by that herky jerky ride at Disneyland. The challenge is to create a look for VonMisterToadbergberg's Fall collection, which is really a huge deal. Cinderella might even wear it one night during the electric light parade!
Thank God I wore the cow print/plaid vest and sunglasses on my head. I would have felt really stupid if I'd dressed down.
They will not just be designing whatever they want. The line is based on the film "A Foreign Affair", which is a classic starring Marlena Dietrich. Then Kenley starts sobbing and screaming "FINALLLYYYYY!!!" uncontrollably. Diane slaps her and tells the designers that the woman they are designing for is a very mysterious world traveler and could possibly be a spy. She has a bunch of kinda old rich lady dresses on mannequins behind her to sell her point.
When she's not spying, she puts books in order using the Dewey Decimal System.
Mood is out today, because the only one who understands patterns and colors as well as VonMisterToadbergberg is Diane herself, so the designers will be able to take what they need from her sample room. Hobosexi raises his hand and asks how many bags they get to fill and if they will have access to the trash shoots. The winning look will be sold exclusively to American Express holders. Glad Seinfeld and Ellen and Tina Fey will be able to get it at least. Too bad this didn't happen before Ellen's wedding. She might not have looked like the Candy Man.
A portion of the proceeds will go to the CFDA, which is a kind of union for fashion designers. I'll bet Keith called them already and complained about someone using his machine last week. WAAAHHHH. The sample room is filled with lots of expensive fabrics, but unfortunately there's no Gaysian to prejudge everyone and help them carry stuff. You're slackin, Diane! No designer worth her beans doesn't stock a Gaysian. In related news KENLEY'S STILL CRYING!
Diane VonMisterToadbergberg is to Kenley what the image of Santa Maria on a tortilla is to my downstairs neighbor, Lupita Ramirez. Different coasts, same wailing.
Kenley sobs that if she only wins this one, she can go home happy. If you don't win this one, you're a total tool. It's like the producers had a meeting to decide how to get your ass to the end and wrapped Diane up in a box with gold ribbon just for you. Don't suck. She continues to cry and carry on and tells Tim that he looks afraid and he retorts that he is afraid. LOL, Gunn. Leatha kills the moment by whining about not being able to get her fabric, which sends Tim into an eye rolling frenzy. He's sure as hell not helping. He's not paid to carry shit. Get a Gaysian.
Kenley, with all her sob adrenaline, comes to Leatha's aide, throwing bolts of fabric all over the floor. I'm sure your hero is gonna fucking love that. The designers are freaking out and throwing shit everywhere and then there is a closup of Hobosexi and I realize that his vest is, in fact, not cow print at all. It's ghosts from Pac Man, hearts, and happy theater mask signs.
This poor kid is worse off than I thought.
Back at the workroom, Squircangle checks in with her winning dress to see if she got tickets for 9 to 5 the musical or if Squirc's supposed to.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Well I do. Let's have lunch together every day, k?
She says that she is happy about her win and is dying to win now that she has immunity. Do you guys remember the first episode when Leanne was kind of a dick? Then she got taken down a peg and has since played the mousy quiet role. I have been waiting for that dickish attitude come back and am hoping now that she's a winna her true colors will shine through again and make her less boring. Fingers crossed.
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Comments (19)
LOVE the recap as usual!! Squirc rules! I think she'll win this season since no one else is even kinda good. I just don't get CutToe's designs. I thought the seat belt coat looked like something I could have made in 3rd grade, and this week's dress was U-G-L-Y.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE that Hobo & Blayne weren't in the bottom 3 this week. Their stuff was hideous. Of course there was a lot fugly stuff to pick from.
Can't wait until next week. I want Blayne or Hobo to go!!
1 of 19 | Posted by LindaLC | Posted on September 4, 2008 6:48 PM
I'm going to miss Leatha too but it was time for her to go. I liked Leanne's outfit and I'm sure she'll be in the final three but I just can't see her winning --- she's just lacking personality (which seems to be true for the majority of the designers this year). I'm really hoping that Blayne will be going home soon....
2 of 19 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 4, 2008 7:42 PM
Long time listener, first time caller.
It is either a testament to your wit or a sad day for Project Runway that I look forward to reading your recap of the show more than actually watching the show.
Also you have ruined me. I am no longer able to enjoy the show like a normal person. I yell at/insult everyone by their nickname now (ex: Quit your cryin' Horsey, stop calling yourself Leanimal, Squirc it ain't happenin')
My favorite by far is Hobi. I showed my husband (not a ProRun fan at ALL) a picture of Jerrel just so I could tell him the BRILLIANT nickname you came up with.(I actually get him to watch 5 minutes of the show to see what Jerrel is wearing, and just as he is starting to enjoy the program...Suede repeats his name 3 times, blows kisses to the heavens and my husband can longer tolerate the massive amount of douchbaggery on the screen.) Hobosexual, there has never been a more fitting name.
Thanks Flipit for making this terrible season filled with morons and catch phrase diarrhea (it's spreading!) fun again!!
3 of 19 | Posted by ivegotthesquircs | Posted on September 4, 2008 8:42 PM
Thanks, Flipit! ...so THAT is THE DVF? WTF?! I thought her eyebrows now resemble Marlene Dietrich's, when she was young! Gosh, I wish those designers would remain incognito! their looks are so disapointing! Hear me Michael Kors, Donatella Versace, Valentino....? :D
I can't share your love with CutToe ..don't like her, but again, I don't like any of them, I just watch so I can keep up with your recaps, like "ivegotthesquircs"!
4 of 19 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 4, 2008 9:35 PM
LindaLC and detinha you guys are on Mars. CutToe's designs are always wearable, beautifully made and fit whatever brief they've been given.
She also does very chic things...I don't understand why you don't like her designs.
Then again...perhaps we should have a look in your closets, hmmm?
Beside that, it drives me crazy that they constantly whine about how they don't have enough time and then the camera cuts to them sitting around/messing around/standing around. FTW?
5 of 19 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on September 4, 2008 10:39 PM
I *sob* think that, um *snif* Diane Von Furburger *gasp* is so incredibly amazing because *wah* she actually DIED a few years ago *wail* and yet her reanimated corpse *whimper* just won't lay down and stay dead *ppppbbbbffflblt!*
Actually she reminds me of Patsy Stone's older sister Jackie (They. Have. The. Same. Fucking. Hair.) from AbFab.
If I had telekinetic powers then every single time that Pleather said his own name or blew kisses to the heavens or breathed there would be another pin, needle or scissors that would violently bury itself somewhere in his flesh. It's asshats like him that make people want to beat fags up... hell, I'M gay and *I* want to beat him up! Okay, I just want to slap him. But really hard.
What is it with the criers this year on the Runway?!?? I mean Ricky The Lingerie Hat Queen was fuckin' bad ENOUGH on LAST season, but now it's like they think someone should be flashing "OSCAR MOMENT" on screen every time they talk about how haaaaard everything is for them, and how much they deseeeeeerve to win this. Let me just say... SOMEBODY has to design for Wal-Mart and K-Mart, because contrary to perception, not everybody in America is super-rich, not everybody can afford couture or labels, and I think it's insulting that Kenley equates that with failure. She has obviously forgotten that Jaclyn Smith has been designing for K-Mart for years and has made a FORTUNE doing it.
Awesome recap, Flipit, you are hearted as always...
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 19 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 5, 2008 8:34 AM
Well said J-Mo. Kenley annoys me to no end. She is the Sarah Palin of the Fashion world. An unending grating nasal whine mixed with a staggering passive-aggressiveness. I guess her dress was well made, and maybe would not look out of place in K-Mart or Target..ironically enough.
The weird thing about this group is that most of them seem to be cyphers. Ricky cried last year, so now we have 4 criers. Kenley, what? deserves to win because DVF is her idol? Get a grip. please. CutToe is even annoying me with her "winning means this to me". You all don't convince me. So shut up.
I'm liking Leanne and Terri. Both are original to me.
7 of 19 | Posted by dredge | Posted on September 5, 2008 9:43 AM
PixieGal,
here in Mars is H-O-T and we don't wear coats/jackets all the time! Maybe that's why we don't lurve the no-toe one! Just kidding, gal! I respect your love for her, she's just not my cup of tea, and I think she's one of those whiner, with her run away from Africa stories. Maybe she'll grow on me, her ass already is growing .. a lot! :D
8 of 19 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 5, 2008 11:54 AM
What do you wanna bet this bitch is taking the elevator back up?--I was thinking the same thing!!!! Descending from the stairway to heaven, is that why she's a reanimated corpse, J-mo!?
I am so outraged at this travesty in judging!!! HOW in F did Pleather not bite it this time . . . .that was a worse combo than Leatha last week, and as far as poor workmanship . . . ahem, can we see straight guys seams again!? I thought Leatha's outfit was swell, sans the cape, perhaps, but still, it was meeting the challenge and I liked the throwback look of the collar, and I've seen more insane crotches at gay pride!!! I don't know why they wouldn't think Leatha's bettah TV than Liscious or Hobo, or Straight guy . . . is it me!??
First Leatha, and now Renny , sniff, sob, sniff . . . . WAHHHHH!!! (more later on that)
Anyway, I did like Squirc's look, don't know why Bettie Page couldn'ta done a shrug or something . . . that what it's called, right!?
I also thought Hobo's look was beyond hideous and Liscious' was redonk!!!!
If you look at Toad's collection, almost all the coats are cut shy and are held closed by a belt . . . call me crazy, but noooo, a coat that can't button is too small, period!!! guess that's what Hobo was trying to emulate, but I'll still blame her for just vomit design and color combinations . . . yeeeech!!!!
Can't imagine who could win this, but Cut-toe, Squirc and Terri seem like the only one's who might do a whole line, perhaps Bettie, but you all hate her, so I'll just wait and see on that . . . Terri is looking 3 trick pony at this point, I hope she really goes all out next time . . .
HEART flip, and thanks for the laughs and righteous indignation!!!!! XOXO
9 of 19 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 5, 2008 12:34 PM
LOL detinha. I see your point, Ms. Martian :P. The coat thing is a bit repetitive. I think I just sympathize with her because I personally know a whole bunch of Nigerians/Ethiopians/Eritreans and holy crap do they have some serious sob stories.
She does have a ginormous tush though, I will give you that.
10 of 19 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on September 5, 2008 12:40 PM
There was plenty of fug on that runway the other night but was Stella's the fugliest? Joe's was a train wreck, Jerrell's was the Salvation Army lady on acid, and Suede's was one big mess. Any one of those were way worse than Stellas..in my opinion, of course.
Maybe the judges see things we don't..trying to be nice here to make up for their lack of sound reasoning.
Anyway, funny recap. You make watching this year worth the effort.
11 of 19 | Posted by skies | Posted on September 5, 2008 12:52 PM
i agree kenley is pretty annoying, but i have to give it up to her because yes she is a bitch, but at least she says it to peoples faces, unlike STRAIGHT GUY who is probably bitchier than the gays.
12 of 19 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on September 5, 2008 1:08 PM
So let's do rundown of who's left:
Straight guy: Sucks. Can't design and can't sew. And he's an asswipe.
Pleather: Sucks. One of the most annoying personalities to ever grace a reality tv screen. It'd be all right if he was talented, but he hasn't had a single decent design all season.
Blayne: Sucks. Not even worth speaking about.
Hobi: Meh. He's not as bad as the other guys. But he's not great either.
Anyone get the feeling that they really really don't want a guy to win this season?
Even though there's not much to choose from the gals' side either. Well, at least Leanimal seems to know how to sew.
13 of 19 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 5, 2008 2:55 PM
"...I think she's one of those whiner, with her run away from Africa stories. Maybe she'll grow on me, her ass already is growing .. a lot! :D"
"...i agree kenley is pretty annoying, but i have to give it up to her because yes she is a bitch, but at least she says it to peoples faces, unlike STRAIGHT GUY who is probably bitchier than the gays. "
Bigotry as commentary. Very classy!
14 of 19 | Posted by you you you | Posted on September 6, 2008 3:24 AM
you you you,
I don't care about color, race or sex, or whatever. I say what I feel like!
We comment on EVERYBODY's physical appearance, why can't I say something about CutToe?!
I never claimed to be "classy", I'm sarcastic and I won't apologize for it!
15 of 19 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 6, 2008 3:39 AM
Coupla things- did anyone notice how pissed Heidi was at Kenley during her "review"? Kenley kept interrupting her and then Diane Von F. agrees with Kenley and loves the dress! Seriously, Heidi had some great close shots of a seriously pissed face.
Secondly, am I wrong or was Diane Von F wearing the exact same dress for the judging that she was wearing when she met the designers? Maybe all of her dresses look the same, I don't know.
And thirdly, it's not cool to pull out the "bigotry" card here on this blog. Everyone is equally dumped on and it's all done with seriously bitchy love.
16 of 19 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on September 6, 2008 7:51 AM
Hmph, I'm with Heidi; I liked Cut-toe's dress this time (although those screencaps aren't doing it any favors, LOL). I actually really liked Squirc's dress, too -- but not so much the jacket. I think we're heading to an all-female finale here (as between Squirc, Cuttoe, Kenley and Terri) -- or, should be, at least, if there is any justice.
17 of 19 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on September 6, 2008 10:24 AM
you you you
i am gay, and what i meant by my comment is that straight guy is bitchier than the gay guys ON THIS SHOW. not in general. i mean look at jerrell he is one of the bitchiest people on reality tv
18 of 19 | Posted by preppynoy | Posted on September 6, 2008 11:11 AM
I'm no fashion maven, but does anyone really wear tweed bolero jackets with evening gowns? The dress was gorgeous, why cover it up?
19 of 19 | Posted by hillpete | Posted on September 7, 2008 8:25 AM