This week on Project Runway, Carmen still has trouble making friends, Kenley gets her model a boob job, and Keith gets another chance to charm our pants off.
Anyone?
OMG you guys guess who's on the cover of Elle in a denim dress?
Bob Weinstein! Thanks, subtitles!
Terri wakes up singing "the witch is dead! The witch is dead!" Hello, that's not even how the song goes. She tells us that she won't miss Leatha because it means one less person is in her way of pant suit/clown collar world domination. Ding dong, you're an asshole.
Pleather wakes up in his room with Blayne staring at him with those bugged out coke addict orbs of his and the second he sees open eyes he asks "WHAT'D YOU DREAM ABOUT?" Pleather says he dreamt that they were gonna have to make Valentine neck lines out of Chiffon and Pop Tarts. He even wakes up desperately struggling to be original and funny. Nothing like bombing first thing in the morning. Even Blayne can't muster up a giggle for that one. He starts going on about his own dreams involving giant piles of white powder and Phyllis Diller ripping off her own skin and letting him wear it for his birthday.
In CutToe, Kenley and Leanne Squircangle's room, Squirc comments that theirs is the only room that houses three winners. CutToe and Kenley are like "why is she talking to us?" On the runway, Fat Bitch comes out wearing all black, because, well, she's a fat bitch. Squircangle gets to keep her hot blonde model or dump her for the funny looking girl with the pony tail on the side of her head like she's thirteen. Shockingly, Squirc chooses to keep the hot blonde one.
Cheer up, kid. You'll look great in your Hot Dog on a Stick uniform.
The discarded twig starts crying and CutToe looks away like "try running from Africa, brat." Heidi announces that she has some special guests coming, and it's the Wiggles! YAY!!!! Kidding, it's actually much more horrifying than that. It's aufed contestants! YAY LEATHA! Sorry Terri. I hope one of the camera men tells her about the smack you were talking so we can see her beat your smart ass. Speaking of Terri, she's pissed off at this development because "when it's over, it's over." HAH please let her get stuck with the guy who made the serial killing nurse outfit from episode one. That dude's back, as is Wesley (and not in short shorts! WTF?), the pretty girl who's addicted to head scarves, the "surrealistic Audrey Hepburn" giant gum girl, Daniel (who makes a cute attempt to wink at Kenley),...
Keep practicing
...Kelly One Eye (YAY) and KEITH! He looks thrilled to be here.
And the Hobosexual looks thrilled to have him.
The challenge will be to team up with a discarded designer and make something avant garde, which pleases Hobosexi because "I can pull something avant garde out my ass". He can also pull out half eaten Twizzlers, bottle caps, and gum from kindergarten, but hopefully he'll resist the urge to share and just use his partner. I think I can speak for most of us when I say I'm sick of Jerell pulling stuff out of his ass and making it walk down the runway.
Kenley looks like she is gonna start crying again because when she's at KMart she's allowed to work alone, but tough titties, Blue Light. Tim welcomes everyone to the workroom and gives them the rest of the challenge. It's not just an avant garde look, it's an avant garde look that's based on signs of the zodiac. Straight Guy is thrilled with the clarification because it's much harder to put together an aimless avant garde look. "I can just put a sock on my head and call it avant garde". Try a sack. You'll totally get laid more.
CutToe is teamed with Kelly, Kenley gets Wesley (who's banging her hag fag. Fireworks?), Straight Guy gets Daniel, Squirc gets Emily and is very excited about it, Blayne gets Leatha, which is a perfect marriage of bad construction, and Terri gets Keith. LOLOLLLL that's what you get you bitch! Jerell gets Jennifer, and that leaves Pleather with the nurse serial killer guy, who is excited to be "with my original roommate." Then dark clouds form overhead and it starts raining blood.
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Comments (33)
Thanks again, Flipit.
#1. I think Squirc was robbed. I really liked her dress and thought it actually looked "scorpio".
#2. This is the first season of PR that I am not rooting for anyone. I look forward to the aufs and not the wins.
One little correction... it was George Washington with the wooden teeth, not Abe. Sorry....everything else was superb, as usual!!
1 of 33 | Posted by michigan | Posted on September 11, 2008 6:51 AM
I totally did not get the Hobosexi love on the outfit either. Your captions make my day, I love it!!! Thanks for such a quick recap!
2 of 33 | Posted by valmommyt | Posted on September 11, 2008 6:56 AM
I don't think anyone could beat Christian's avant guard piece from last year. It just shows how talented he is and how much this year's contestants SUCK!
3 of 33 | Posted by chachi | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:19 AM
OMG, I ALSO hurt my hand and damaged my TV attempting to punch Blayne. And Terri. And Keith. And Kenley. And Pleather.
The show tonight was like a giant yeast infection, irritating, smelly and making me wish for pharmaceutical relief. Keith IS a big crybaby, but C*nTerri couldn't suck it up for two whole days (she knew he was going back home at the end of it, why not be, you know, human about it and play nice?) and she shut him out of everything... and then complained that he didn't help her!
Blayne looked like he emptied out the body-puff section at Walgreen's and tacked them all to one side of that fuggo pantsuit. I am so happy I won't see that fucking split-blue headband anymore.
Kenley's nasalness is like Nine Inch Nails on the World's Biggest Chalkboard, and I hope at the end of this that Wal-Mart gives her her own end-cap display for all her innovative Fabulous Fifties designs (I'm seeing a sea of big orange "CLEARANCE PRICED" stickers, too) and I wish that just once Heidi or Michael (or best of all... NINA) would stop her and say "Shut your yap, you're the bottom, we're the tops, and your role is to bite the pillow and take it up the ass until we're all through and then limp off the catwalk crying..." I am so glad they finally called her out on hammering every round-challenge into her square-50's hole. That dress looked like a giant pair of sweltering plaid cysts bound by leather and chiffon.
I was floored that Hobosexi's pile of crap won, but he irritates me so much less than everyone else at this point.
Awesome job, Flipit... I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gains weight just driving by KFC...
love, J-Mo :)
4 of 33 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:20 AM
I'm so effing mad at these idiots for allowing Pleather to haunt my TV for another fucking week! At least Terri was funny sometimes (on the 4 days a month she doesn't have PMS).
I'm buying Hobosexi a case of chapstick for Christmas. And a year's supply of toothpaste. Ugh.
BTW- Alison was the lowtalker from Laura's season. All I remember about her is that I always had to turn the volume WAY up whenever she spoke, and she got eliminated because her model's hair was fashioned into a horrible Minnie Mouse-type bow.
5 of 33 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:41 AM
flip, seriously, your caption featuring christian and carmen made me laugh so hard i peed a little. and i'm at work, so it was pretty awkward. marry me, with the explicit understanding that we will have numerous affairs with many beautiful, muscular, wealthy men who do not refer to themselves in the third person. amazing recap as always.
"tough titties, blue light" LOL!
j-mo, your yeast infection metaphor might have just made me die a little inside. love you anyway. :op
i liked straight guy's, much to my dismay. i also liked cutToe's for whatever reason. also a little baffled by the hobosexi win, but i hate him less than most of the others, so whatevs. really, REALLY hate kenley. wanted them to send her ass packing for being a horseslut.
6 of 33 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 11, 2008 9:09 AM
Terri was so horribly nasty & refused to take responsibility and blamed everyone else (Keith, Christian), THAT's why she was auf'd.
Jerrell's is very interesting and probably more avant garde than any other outfit that went down the runway.
Korto was boring, but according to Tim, Kelli got very sick and Korto had to cut back on her design.
I liked Leeann's and Joe's was beautiful, but not avant garde in the least.
There's no way any avant garde dress will ever compare favorably to last year's Chris/Christian (Team Fierce!) masterpiece.
7 of 33 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 11, 2008 9:37 AM
Good Lord, I love your recaps!! (and totally agree about Vosovic - what was he thinking!?!)
Peace out Blaine!! Totally sucked ass knowing you - you have less talent than Heidi Montag! Seriously, this was my favorite line: "Either that or she's got the largest labia ever made." Ha!
Keith - is a whiney bitch, and has driven me crazy all season - but the moment he said, "Take it easy on me, I'm still upset from being kicked off" I was like - shit, I would totally F him now! (if he were straight) This is my problem with men, I've now learned through a truly terrible season of PR!
Anyway - I personally didn't like any of the outfits this week, and I hope that Kutoe secretly shaves Kenley's head while she's asleep and gives the hair to Chris March to use in his next design - Cannot stand that C-word!
8 of 33 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:56 AM
Flipit, your recaps of this craptacular season make my Thursdays worthwhile! (Well, the recaps and the drink specials at the local pub.)
Now then, onto the show: AAAAAGH, how is Pleather still here?!?! I know Terri was being particularly wenchy to Keith, but the judges claim to only take fashion into account, and Pleather's outfit looked rumply and poorly done. Grrrrrrrr. My only consolation is that Kors called him out on the third-person speaking.
I was so happy to see all of the former contestants, except for Carmen because A) She was annoying as all get-out, and B) Remember her awful menswear challenge? She didn't even make a shirt, she threw some fabric around her model's neck! Some poor PA probably had to call like 10 people before they found her lame ass to come on the show.
9 of 33 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on September 11, 2008 11:03 AM
Flipit-brilliant as always.
I agree that this season doesn't have that "one" winner fave to me. If I was forced to pick...leanne..ugh
I am loving snarky Kors ..is it me or has he gotten more bitchy as he has changed color ( some sort of incredible hulk kind of fuck you contestants transformation to orange? perhaps) I like it !
Omigod!
10 of 33 | Posted by omigodyouguys | Posted on September 11, 2008 11:17 AM
Love the show and the recaps! I love watching the judges getting pissier and grouchier each week as they have to watch more crapola coming down the runway. That's probably why they kicked off two this week - they're trying to lessen the torture a little.
I thought Hobi's look was OK, but Squirc's was better. She's so far ahead at this point that I think the judges will just randomly kick off whoever annoys them the most each week.
My fave part this week was watching Squirc and the Winona Ryder look alike roll their eyes at Kenley. Poor Kenley is in her own little world. The show will be duller when she and her horsey laugh are gone.
Til next week!
11 of 33 | Posted by LIndaLC | Posted on September 11, 2008 12:42 PM
I'll say what I want to say, then I'll sit in the in the time-out chair:
1) I'll miss Blayne and his "liscious"! He was the funniest in that bunch! I think Tim will miss him too!
2)I'm glad Terry is out! She was annoying as hell, and a total bitch last night! I thought Keith was right in acting the way he did to her!
3) I liked Squirc's and Straight Guy's dresses!
4) Kenley is getting overconfident, and that dress was horrible!
Now, I'll take my punishment, as I deserve! :)
Kisses!
12 of 33 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 11, 2008 1:14 PM
Great recap as always, I commend you for your lightning speed!
Small correction if it hasn't already been done: I think you meant 'sweetheart' collar from the chiffon-and-poptarts line. Actually, having had to make something similar to that myself, I thought that was really funny. Watch it be a challenge now, since they can never get anything original anymore. I mean geez, now they're recycling the DESIGNERS, past and really-past! Ugggghhh... I hope the move to LA isn't going to be the death knell, but with LA's emphasis on ready-to-wear and sportswear, I worry...
13 of 33 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on September 11, 2008 1:33 PM
Oh yeah, and "I don't look at the collections."...
aiieeeee. Even our cat was appalled.
My prediction for top 3: Straight Guy, Horsey Laugh and CutToe, with CutToe for the win. But of course it'll be a top 5 or top 92 or something. I'm just going to cheat when Fashion Week is over and get it from other sources...I hate this season.
14 of 33 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on September 11, 2008 1:51 PM
Praise to flip it for your fantastic and speedy recaps--so nice to redigest this s*it while it's fresh!
Wow, Hobi winning was a surprise, but I guess the dress part was kinda cool. He seems nice, and probably personality may have had something to do with the voting . . . Terri was in a black funk this epi, my my, can't take anymore Keith, but for reals girl, it's only a TV show, what's the big deal, he could have hemmed something . . . You could see Tim bristling around them, and the judges, so annoyed!!!
I was happy to see the oldies come back, Pleatha's look was all Jerry, looked just like the serial killer dress with a different coat--Pleatha's shooting blanks for weeks, and he's still there . . . why!? I'm really dying to see him go . . .
Glad liscious finally bit it though, and so deservedly with that fug fug dress, wasn't loving Squirc this time, or anyone's, except straight guys . . . I would have given it to him . . . Bettie Page still doesn't bug me as much as everyone, I must be getting patience as I age or something, but she does need to shut up!!!!!
Lastly, Hey Flip, can I take you to dinner, I might need a new car!!!! Just kidding!!!! HEARTS AND FLOWERS!!!
15 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 11, 2008 2:43 PM
Get me a fuckin hamma! Hahahahaha! Flipit I can't believe how fast you do these.
Bringing back all the aufed donkeys was a great idea for a challenge/train wreck. Other shows take note: DO IT! Make them live together for one last day, that won't be at all awkward. And vote out two at a time. That makes it much better.
The amount of hate I have for Kenley is a bit frightening, considering it's, you know, a tv show. She needs a punch in those horsey teeth. Wasn't her dress just like her one leg hanging out purple tulle/ugly flower dress, but with big ass sleeves? And her shanghai dress was just like the model pick the fabric challenge, but without the ruffley collar? Make something else, Rami One Trick Toga.
16 of 33 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on September 11, 2008 2:53 PM
I am totally digging Leanimal right now. She's just so off in her own little world. Plus, she makes some kick-ass shit.
And don't hit me, but Hobo is totally growing on me. Loved the construction of his skirt this week, and he totally won the Lipstick Jungle challenge, no matter what the judges said.
I was LOLing (OL!) when Kenley's "masterpiece" came waddling down the runway. That was hysterical. "I don't look at the collections." And that is why Kmart loves you, bless your heart.
Glad Terri was auf'd. No one makes me empathize with Keith and gets away with it!!
17 of 33 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:43 PM
I haven't finished the recap but I snorted and laughed out loud (in my house, all alone with a bottle of water and three Subway chocolate chip cookies...so sad) with the "Who moved my cheese?"...I nearly died. Thank you Flipit.
18 of 33 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on September 11, 2008 7:32 PM
OK so Terri was robbed. Pleather should have gone this week because the design was boring and shoddily put together.
Terri was being a bitch, sure, but Keith was being a little whiny bitch. Keith had no excuse for acting like a child, he should have just toughed it out and said "Look bitch, we have to work together so deal with it". Him running off like a little girl was stupid.
19 of 33 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:14 PM
Funny recap as usual. It's better than the actual show.
One thing caught my eye. You said Pleather was wearing a scarf like he had cervical cancer. Wouldn't he have to have a cervex or do you know something we all don't?
Terri and Keith were the bi-polar team. She passive-agressive, him the depressed schizophrenic...with a little paranoia thrown in.
I thought all that stuff was pretty ugly. Maybe the judges put all the names in a hat and picked the winner and losers that way. Makes more sense than trying to justify any of that garbage.
20 of 33 | Posted by skies | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:46 PM
thanks, Flipit, you've brightened my otherwise craptastic day! (work, blah blah blah) I love reading the comments as well, you guys are so funny. I agree with the Kenley hate, she made her Olive Oyl model look hideous, avant-NOTHING. Someone already mentioned what season Alison was in, she is the one who's manner of speaking reminds me of Squirc's (that soft pronunciation of words). I hadn't noticed, but maybe Pleatha hasn't referred to Pleatha in the 3rd person in front of the judges? No wonder Oompa Loompa Kors almost fell off his chair. The judges sent the right people home---Terri's gold lame skirt = cheap Lion King. I won't miss her attitude. As for LicOUS, there was never much talent there poor thing, but it seemed that the paler he got, the weaker his designs became. At least he can go home now to Oregon & fry all he wants. My top 3 for Fashion Week are Squirc, Korto, & ??? Hobo? (pls, no more Horsey, it's time to lead that horse back to the barn).
21 of 33 | Posted by tati | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:51 PM
The more this season's designers suck (and they all suck), the better the recaps become -- I laughed all the way through this one.
None of them seemed to understand that "avant garde" is supposed to mean 'what is to come' -- in other words, the designs are still supposed to be wearable, not just funny-looking costumes.
I have a question: just when do they tape the talking heads interviews? It is it during the process, or after? So, for example, was Terri already eliminated when they taped all that bitchiness?
They kept Pleatha because they couldn't afford to lose both clowns, since they had no choice but to cut Blayne at long last -- in fact, I'm certain this double elimination was created only to get rid of him.
22 of 33 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 12, 2008 12:02 AM
On Terri's extended exit interview on Bravotv, she's STILL blaming Keith for "taking Bryant Park away from her"!
Talk about delusional.....
23 of 33 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 12, 2008 7:50 AM
Awesome recap, Flipit!
Man, I don't know if hers was worse than Suede's, but Terri had to go for karmic reasons alone. She was completely ridiculous to Keith -- and not in a fun way.
Sooo, Squirc or Cuttoe for the win!
24 of 33 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on September 12, 2008 4:40 PM
Ha. Ha Ha. HA!
This had me crackin' up. The captions were the best. I'm officially a new lover of this site.
I don't care who makes it to the top, but as long as it's neither Joe or Kenley, I won't have to poke my eyes out.
25 of 33 | Posted by Smellymelly | Posted on September 12, 2008 6:34 PM
I laughed 'til it hurt... Thanks, Flipit. You and J-Mo are my TVGasm heroes.
Hm. Squircangles for the win. ...I guess? Way to get my enthusiasm up this year, Bravo.
Crossover alert! Next Top Design it looks like they will be designing window displays for past PR contestants. In the promo I could see Andrae, Santino, and Asshole Jeffrey. He's already been on Bravo way too much this year for my taste, but I am so hoping he will make prissy Eddie from Martha Stewart Magazine cry... Oh please please please...
26 of 33 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on September 13, 2008 12:14 AM
Yahoo had pictures of the (5) designer's collections. However, there weren't many from Cuttoe which has me wondering why... Suede and Jerrell's stuff was a bit boring and their lines didn't look cohesive. Squirc's designs seemed to go together more. Kenley's was the most "design-y". In the past, they've tended to pick designers who clothes were more fashion-y as opposed to what real people would wear. For the first time I don't really care who wins. I don't love anyone or really hate anyone who's still left.
27 of 33 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 13, 2008 4:45 AM
Personally, I loved Terri and I wished she was still there... I mean, Keith is an asshole and whoever got stuck working with him was going to be going at the assignment alone, anyway. Kenley is such a ridiculous bitch that she doesn't deserve comment.
28 of 33 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on September 13, 2008 11:09 AM
Joe keeps tellin us that he is happily married - I suspect his wife isn't.
Jerell - "I can pull something avant garde out my ass". Oh - that's where that turd came from.
Did Daniel V. steal Chad's (Million $ Listing) hair cut or vice versa?
Blayne put crinoline tumors all over his model like she was his Middle School Science project on the effects of elephantitis
Hey Suede - see that shingle you are on. Smells a little fecal, no?!
Kenley - comparing your boobage location to Heidi's boobage location is like comparing your headbandage to LC's headbandage. You are so not purple!
I would comment more but my coffee just kicked in and I have to go push out an Avant Garde.
29 of 33 | Posted by gitgo | Posted on September 14, 2008 11:34 AM
Didn't mean to be controversial last week, but I was just stating my opinion.
But honestly, Flipit, this is really the best commentary of this episode I've seen. Bravo!
30 of 33 | Posted by you you you | Posted on September 14, 2008 1:37 PM
I love you people.
Have you guys seen Keith's real-life boutique designs?
www. filthygorgeous. com
He's trying way too hard.
31 of 33 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on September 15, 2008 7:53 AM
re: filthgorgeous.com
Not as many ruffles or stringy material as I thought there'd be. Not too bad in general, though. Nothing earth-shattering.
Anonymous: There were 6 designers at finale week. You forgot to mention Hobisexual's. And they only did 10 (or maybe 11 counting the wedding dress) outfits.
32 of 33 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 15, 2008 1:43 PM
Creepy Surrealist Gnome girl was totally robbed.
33 of 33 | Posted by Monamonzano | Posted on September 17, 2008 10:31 AM