Alison loves Squirc's dress, but who cares? I didn't even remember Alison when I first saw her. I press pause and stare at her and...nope. Who are you? Christian hates Terri's fur collar but loves the rest. She refuses to even acknowledge Keith, so Christian doesn't acknowledge him either. HA. Carmen is drinking a tall glass of champagne and talking like she knows what's what, but come on. Carmen? All I remember is her sobbing and being crazy and sending what looked like a flesh eating disease down the runway.

200809102103
Mmmhmmm. Sewing. Yes. Fashion uhhuh. Hoop skirt. So NOW. You guys should come into Borders sometime. I can totally get you a discount.


She gets stuck talking to Pleather, and it's the first time I've ever felt for her. Jay guesses that CutToe designed for Aquarius and then says that she could probably sing that role in the musical Hair. See? Meanwhile, Heidi is across the room telling Blayne that his work looks like granny panties. How can you not love Heidi? Still, I see a need for his design.

200809102106
Strap grandma down before she pees on the rug again.

Blayne tries to talk Heidi into liking it, but she won't budge. He asks if she at least understands what he's trying to portray and she stays silent. That's a first. Daniel counts off the nine hundred trims Hobosexi has clobbered his jacket with, but in a weird turn he says he likes it and Jerell did a great job. Kara really loves Straight Guy's work and calls it a "pillar of fire and strength." I love Kara. Freakin hippie. Jay likes Squirc's Scorpio outfit but suggests she do something about her split ends. On the other side of the room, Carmen wonders why she can't get stuck talking to someone she likes and Christian wonders why everyone's so fucking tall all the time.

200809102114
Christian: Are my tonsils swollen? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Carmen: Is that Harry Hamlin?

When everyone's sufficiently wasted, the previous designers cast their votes for their faves as Robert looks around wondering how he's left alone at the end of the party. Hint: The black lights didn't do your teeth bleaching any favors. Ross Gellar pulled that shit off with more grace.

The next morning, the designers are given more time to work on their designs. Terri listened to Christian's advice about her giant fur collar and has decided to put it onto the front of the dress. Keith does everything in his power to prove to her and us that he's not just a whiny little brat and works his butt off for her.

200809102119
Like Chris March, only less hawt.

Tim brings in the models for fittings. Kenley built a bustier and padded her model with boobies. She won't admit that she was wrong verbally, but at least she's giving her twig falsies. That's something, right? A few tables over, Leatha's hammering stuff. LOL. Please bring her back. Blayne asks how much she has left to do and she threatens to hammer his head next. Pleather spends the rest of his work time repeating his own name. Straight Guy thinks Kenley's work looks like a Mickey Mouse hat, and he's not really wrong on that one. Still, it's Straight Guy. We haven't seen much of his work today, so I am hoping it's hellacious. Time for the runway show! Tim sweetly wakes Keith up in time to get sent home again. Aw!

200809102124
The bus back to obscurity's outside! Hurry or you'll miss it!

On the runway, Heidi sticks with black and introduces the judges. She welcomes back Nina Garcia! YAY!!! She's already scowling! The guest judge is Francisco Costa, who is the women's creative director at Calvin Klein. Francisco tries to smile, but ends up looking like a very pissed off rat.

200809102133
Who Moved My Cheese?


In all fairness, he might be looking at Jerell.

200809102134
What? You don't have recycled hoodies, plastic chains and glue guns at Calvin Klein? Girl please.


Blayne's crazy ass Libra outfit is out first and WOW. His poof model looks like one of those strippers in the thirties who wore balloons and took nickels to let old men pop them off her. Unfortunately, the bar ran out of nickels. Leatha describes it to us as "unbalanced", "explosion of emotion" and "bling". I'll give ya unbalanced and explosion.

Kenley's next, and her poor model can't even walk. Kenley has turned her into a Lucy VanPelt doll. It's kinda perfect. The model is walking like she's trying to balance a fishbowl on her head. Wesley tells us that Kenley totally missed the mark on that one. This coming from a guy who wears short shorts in public. She should be worried.

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Comments (33)

michigan:

Thanks again, Flipit.
#1. I think Squirc was robbed. I really liked her dress and thought it actually looked "scorpio".

#2. This is the first season of PR that I am not rooting for anyone. I look forward to the aufs and not the wins.

One little correction... it was George Washington with the wooden teeth, not Abe. Sorry....everything else was superb, as usual!!

valmommyt:

I totally did not get the Hobosexi love on the outfit either. Your captions make my day, I love it!!! Thanks for such a quick recap!

chachi:

I don't think anyone could beat Christian's avant guard piece from last year. It just shows how talented he is and how much this year's contestants SUCK!

J-Mo:

OMG, I ALSO hurt my hand and damaged my TV attempting to punch Blayne. And Terri. And Keith. And Kenley. And Pleather.

The show tonight was like a giant yeast infection, irritating, smelly and making me wish for pharmaceutical relief. Keith IS a big crybaby, but C*nTerri couldn't suck it up for two whole days (she knew he was going back home at the end of it, why not be, you know, human about it and play nice?) and she shut him out of everything... and then complained that he didn't help her!

Blayne looked like he emptied out the body-puff section at Walgreen's and tacked them all to one side of that fuggo pantsuit. I am so happy I won't see that fucking split-blue headband anymore.

Kenley's nasalness is like Nine Inch Nails on the World's Biggest Chalkboard, and I hope at the end of this that Wal-Mart gives her her own end-cap display for all her innovative Fabulous Fifties designs (I'm seeing a sea of big orange "CLEARANCE PRICED" stickers, too) and I wish that just once Heidi or Michael (or best of all... NINA) would stop her and say "Shut your yap, you're the bottom, we're the tops, and your role is to bite the pillow and take it up the ass until we're all through and then limp off the catwalk crying..." I am so glad they finally called her out on hammering every round-challenge into her square-50's hole. That dress looked like a giant pair of sweltering plaid cysts bound by leather and chiffon.

I was floored that Hobosexi's pile of crap won, but he irritates me so much less than everyone else at this point.

Awesome job, Flipit... I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gains weight just driving by KFC...

love, J-Mo :)

here4beer:

I'm so effing mad at these idiots for allowing Pleather to haunt my TV for another fucking week! At least Terri was funny sometimes (on the 4 days a month she doesn't have PMS).

I'm buying Hobosexi a case of chapstick for Christmas. And a year's supply of toothpaste. Ugh.

BTW- Alison was the lowtalker from Laura's season. All I remember about her is that I always had to turn the volume WAY up whenever she spoke, and she got eliminated because her model's hair was fashioned into a horrible Minnie Mouse-type bow.

AuJew:

flip, seriously, your caption featuring christian and carmen made me laugh so hard i peed a little. and i'm at work, so it was pretty awkward. marry me, with the explicit understanding that we will have numerous affairs with many beautiful, muscular, wealthy men who do not refer to themselves in the third person. amazing recap as always.

"tough titties, blue light" LOL!

j-mo, your yeast infection metaphor might have just made me die a little inside. love you anyway. :op

i liked straight guy's, much to my dismay. i also liked cutToe's for whatever reason. also a little baffled by the hobosexi win, but i hate him less than most of the others, so whatevs. really, REALLY hate kenley. wanted them to send her ass packing for being a horseslut.

hutchlover:

Terri was so horribly nasty & refused to take responsibility and blamed everyone else (Keith, Christian), THAT's why she was auf'd.

Jerrell's is very interesting and probably more avant garde than any other outfit that went down the runway.

Korto was boring, but according to Tim, Kelli got very sick and Korto had to cut back on her design.

I liked Leeann's and Joe's was beautiful, but not avant garde in the least.

There's no way any avant garde dress will ever compare favorably to last year's Chris/Christian (Team Fierce!) masterpiece.

carmelicious:

Good Lord, I love your recaps!! (and totally agree about Vosovic - what was he thinking!?!)

Peace out Blaine!! Totally sucked ass knowing you - you have less talent than Heidi Montag! Seriously, this was my favorite line: "Either that or she's got the largest labia ever made." Ha!

Keith - is a whiney bitch, and has driven me crazy all season - but the moment he said, "Take it easy on me, I'm still upset from being kicked off" I was like - shit, I would totally F him now! (if he were straight) This is my problem with men, I've now learned through a truly terrible season of PR!

Anyway - I personally didn't like any of the outfits this week, and I hope that Kutoe secretly shaves Kenley's head while she's asleep and gives the hair to Chris March to use in his next design - Cannot stand that C-word!

MissKatrina:

Flipit, your recaps of this craptacular season make my Thursdays worthwhile! (Well, the recaps and the drink specials at the local pub.)

Now then, onto the show: AAAAAGH, how is Pleather still here?!?! I know Terri was being particularly wenchy to Keith, but the judges claim to only take fashion into account, and Pleather's outfit looked rumply and poorly done. Grrrrrrrr. My only consolation is that Kors called him out on the third-person speaking.

I was so happy to see all of the former contestants, except for Carmen because A) She was annoying as all get-out, and B) Remember her awful menswear challenge? She didn't even make a shirt, she threw some fabric around her model's neck! Some poor PA probably had to call like 10 people before they found her lame ass to come on the show.

omigodyouguys:

Flipit-brilliant as always.

I agree that this season doesn't have that "one" winner fave to me. If I was forced to pick...leanne..ugh

I am loving snarky Kors ..is it me or has he gotten more bitchy as he has changed color ( some sort of incredible hulk kind of fuck you contestants transformation to orange? perhaps) I like it !

Omigod!

LIndaLC:

Love the show and the recaps! I love watching the judges getting pissier and grouchier each week as they have to watch more crapola coming down the runway. That's probably why they kicked off two this week - they're trying to lessen the torture a little.

I thought Hobi's look was OK, but Squirc's was better. She's so far ahead at this point that I think the judges will just randomly kick off whoever annoys them the most each week.

My fave part this week was watching Squirc and the Winona Ryder look alike roll their eyes at Kenley. Poor Kenley is in her own little world. The show will be duller when she and her horsey laugh are gone.

Til next week!

detinha:

I'll say what I want to say, then I'll sit in the in the time-out chair:
1) I'll miss Blayne and his "liscious"! He was the funniest in that bunch! I think Tim will miss him too!
2)I'm glad Terry is out! She was annoying as hell, and a total bitch last night! I thought Keith was right in acting the way he did to her!
3) I liked Squirc's and Straight Guy's dresses!
4) Kenley is getting overconfident, and that dress was horrible!

Now, I'll take my punishment, as I deserve! :)

Kisses!

killbondnow:

Great recap as always, I commend you for your lightning speed!

Small correction if it hasn't already been done: I think you meant 'sweetheart' collar from the chiffon-and-poptarts line. Actually, having had to make something similar to that myself, I thought that was really funny. Watch it be a challenge now, since they can never get anything original anymore. I mean geez, now they're recycling the DESIGNERS, past and really-past! Ugggghhh... I hope the move to LA isn't going to be the death knell, but with LA's emphasis on ready-to-wear and sportswear, I worry...

killbondnow:

Oh yeah, and "I don't look at the collections."...

aiieeeee. Even our cat was appalled.

My prediction for top 3: Straight Guy, Horsey Laugh and CutToe, with CutToe for the win. But of course it'll be a top 5 or top 92 or something. I'm just going to cheat when Fashion Week is over and get it from other sources...I hate this season.

juddfan:

Praise to flip it for your fantastic and speedy recaps--so nice to redigest this s*it while it's fresh!

Wow, Hobi winning was a surprise, but I guess the dress part was kinda cool. He seems nice, and probably personality may have had something to do with the voting . . . Terri was in a black funk this epi, my my, can't take anymore Keith, but for reals girl, it's only a TV show, what's the big deal, he could have hemmed something . . . You could see Tim bristling around them, and the judges, so annoyed!!!

I was happy to see the oldies come back, Pleatha's look was all Jerry, looked just like the serial killer dress with a different coat--Pleatha's shooting blanks for weeks, and he's still there . . . why!? I'm really dying to see him go . . .

Glad liscious finally bit it though, and so deservedly with that fug fug dress, wasn't loving Squirc this time, or anyone's, except straight guys . . . I would have given it to him . . . Bettie Page still doesn't bug me as much as everyone, I must be getting patience as I age or something, but she does need to shut up!!!!!

Lastly, Hey Flip, can I take you to dinner, I might need a new car!!!! Just kidding!!!! HEARTS AND FLOWERS!!!

shelleyh:

Get me a fuckin hamma! Hahahahaha! Flipit I can't believe how fast you do these.

Bringing back all the aufed donkeys was a great idea for a challenge/train wreck. Other shows take note: DO IT! Make them live together for one last day, that won't be at all awkward. And vote out two at a time. That makes it much better.

The amount of hate I have for Kenley is a bit frightening, considering it's, you know, a tv show. She needs a punch in those horsey teeth. Wasn't her dress just like her one leg hanging out purple tulle/ugly flower dress, but with big ass sleeves? And her shanghai dress was just like the model pick the fabric challenge, but without the ruffley collar? Make something else, Rami One Trick Toga.

Pegster:

I am totally digging Leanimal right now. She's just so off in her own little world. Plus, she makes some kick-ass shit.

And don't hit me, but Hobo is totally growing on me. Loved the construction of his skirt this week, and he totally won the Lipstick Jungle challenge, no matter what the judges said.

I was LOLing (OL!) when Kenley's "masterpiece" came waddling down the runway. That was hysterical. "I don't look at the collections." And that is why Kmart loves you, bless your heart.

Glad Terri was auf'd. No one makes me empathize with Keith and gets away with it!!

Pixiegal262:

I haven't finished the recap but I snorted and laughed out loud (in my house, all alone with a bottle of water and three Subway chocolate chip cookies...so sad) with the "Who moved my cheese?"...I nearly died. Thank you Flipit.

PixieGal262:

OK so Terri was robbed. Pleather should have gone this week because the design was boring and shoddily put together.

Terri was being a bitch, sure, but Keith was being a little whiny bitch. Keith had no excuse for acting like a child, he should have just toughed it out and said "Look bitch, we have to work together so deal with it". Him running off like a little girl was stupid.

skies:

Funny recap as usual. It's better than the actual show.
One thing caught my eye. You said Pleather was wearing a scarf like he had cervical cancer. Wouldn't he have to have a cervex or do you know something we all don't?
Terri and Keith were the bi-polar team. She passive-agressive, him the depressed schizophrenic...with a little paranoia thrown in.
I thought all that stuff was pretty ugly. Maybe the judges put all the names in a hat and picked the winner and losers that way. Makes more sense than trying to justify any of that garbage.

tati:

thanks, Flipit, you've brightened my otherwise craptastic day! (work, blah blah blah) I love reading the comments as well, you guys are so funny. I agree with the Kenley hate, she made her Olive Oyl model look hideous, avant-NOTHING. Someone already mentioned what season Alison was in, she is the one who's manner of speaking reminds me of Squirc's (that soft pronunciation of words). I hadn't noticed, but maybe Pleatha hasn't referred to Pleatha in the 3rd person in front of the judges? No wonder Oompa Loompa Kors almost fell off his chair. The judges sent the right people home---Terri's gold lame skirt = cheap Lion King. I won't miss her attitude. As for LicOUS, there was never much talent there poor thing, but it seemed that the paler he got, the weaker his designs became. At least he can go home now to Oregon & fry all he wants. My top 3 for Fashion Week are Squirc, Korto, & ??? Hobo? (pls, no more Horsey, it's time to lead that horse back to the barn).

itchy:

The more this season's designers suck (and they all suck), the better the recaps become -- I laughed all the way through this one.

None of them seemed to understand that "avant garde" is supposed to mean 'what is to come' -- in other words, the designs are still supposed to be wearable, not just funny-looking costumes.

I have a question: just when do they tape the talking heads interviews? It is it during the process, or after? So, for example, was Terri already eliminated when they taped all that bitchiness?

They kept Pleatha because they couldn't afford to lose both clowns, since they had no choice but to cut Blayne at long last -- in fact, I'm certain this double elimination was created only to get rid of him.

hutchlover:

On Terri's extended exit interview on Bravotv, she's STILL blaming Keith for "taking Bryant Park away from her"!

Talk about delusional.....

Lime23:

Awesome recap, Flipit!

Man, I don't know if hers was worse than Suede's, but Terri had to go for karmic reasons alone. She was completely ridiculous to Keith -- and not in a fun way.

Sooo, Squirc or Cuttoe for the win!

Smellymelly:

Ha. Ha Ha. HA!

This had me crackin' up. The captions were the best. I'm officially a new lover of this site.

I don't care who makes it to the top, but as long as it's neither Joe or Kenley, I won't have to poke my eyes out.

sayhuh:

I laughed 'til it hurt... Thanks, Flipit. You and J-Mo are my TVGasm heroes.

Hm. Squircangles for the win. ...I guess? Way to get my enthusiasm up this year, Bravo.

Crossover alert! Next Top Design it looks like they will be designing window displays for past PR contestants. In the promo I could see Andrae, Santino, and Asshole Jeffrey. He's already been on Bravo way too much this year for my taste, but I am so hoping he will make prissy Eddie from Martha Stewart Magazine cry... Oh please please please...

Anonymous:

Yahoo had pictures of the (5) designer's collections. However, there weren't many from Cuttoe which has me wondering why... Suede and Jerrell's stuff was a bit boring and their lines didn't look cohesive. Squirc's designs seemed to go together more. Kenley's was the most "design-y". In the past, they've tended to pick designers who clothes were more fashion-y as opposed to what real people would wear. For the first time I don't really care who wins. I don't love anyone or really hate anyone who's still left.

slutty_whore:

Personally, I loved Terri and I wished she was still there... I mean, Keith is an asshole and whoever got stuck working with him was going to be going at the assignment alone, anyway. Kenley is such a ridiculous bitch that she doesn't deserve comment.

gitgo:

Joe keeps tellin us that he is happily married - I suspect his wife isn't.

Jerell - "I can pull something avant garde out my ass". Oh - that's where that turd came from.

Did Daniel V. steal Chad's (Million $ Listing) hair cut or vice versa?

Blayne put crinoline tumors all over his model like she was his Middle School Science project on the effects of elephantitis

Hey Suede - see that shingle you are on. Smells a little fecal, no?!

Kenley - comparing your boobage location to Heidi's boobage location is like comparing your headbandage to LC's headbandage. You are so not purple!

I would comment more but my coffee just kicked in and I have to go push out an Avant Garde.

you you you:

Didn't mean to be controversial last week, but I was just stating my opinion.

But honestly, Flipit, this is really the best commentary of this episode I've seen. Bravo!

Memememe:

I love you people.

Have you guys seen Keith's real-life boutique designs?

www. filthygorgeous. com

He's trying way too hard.

hutchlover:

re: filthgorgeous.com

Not as many ruffles or stringy material as I thought there'd be. Not too bad in general, though. Nothing earth-shattering.

Anonymous: There were 6 designers at finale week. You forgot to mention Hobisexual's. And they only did 10 (or maybe 11 counting the wedding dress) outfits.

Monamonzano:

Creepy Surrealist Gnome girl was totally robbed.

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