Project Runway: The Curse of the Sidekick

This week on Project Runway, Mrs. Peacock killed someone in the dining room with a revolver and Kenley acted like a total asshole.

Peacock-1

Kenley has woken up not crying. I wish I was there to *cough* Wal-Mart *cough*. She tells us that she has woken up with a new resolve. From now on, she's not going to care what the judges think and design what she wants to design. Unlike the other weeks, when she designed clothes from the 50's because the Judges made her. Donna Reed, here she comes. Watch out world.

Heidi comes out on the runway wearing black again, and I sigh a sigh of relief. Another day without having to stare at her disgustingly fat body. Somehow, Straight Guy tries the same all black tactic every week, and every week he grosses me out. Fat Bitch Heidi informs the designers that the nail biting model competition will have to be put on hold until next week, because this week they will be designing for "very special ladies". From the commercials, it looked like the mom challenge. I hope they bring Angela's mom back again just so someone could call her body unflattering and make her cry. Ah, those were the days, eh? Before we know what the hell Fat Bitch is talking about, we see our first "special lady shadow". I don't know whether to be delighted or horrified. It's either Jane Curtain as the Conehead mom or one of my favorite stars who graced "Hollywood Squares" ever....

Charoconehead
Charo? IS THAT YOU?!?

A bunch of older mom types come out looking kinda angry. Or maybe that's just what us kids have done to their faces. STAY CHILDLESS, PEOPLE!

Picture 4-78
And moisturize.


CutToe is horrified when she sees the women because she remembers the mom challenges and doesn't wanna "stamp on nobody cuz they're talking bout my mamma!" LOL CutToe. I so wanna you stamp on somebody. Jerell is confused too, because if they're their mom's, he and CutToe are missing theirs. I assume he means there's not a large woman who looks like Mo'Nique or this chick:

Baglady Crop280-01
I think Hobosexi has actually worn this outfit more than once.

Heidi announces that the ladies will be a part of the challenge, but the designers won't actually be designing for them. Leanne Squircangle is relieved. Have you ever seen an "old lady" walking around with square/circle/triangle non shapes pinned all over her for no reason? No. No you haven't. Because it should never EVER be done. They'd just keep getting their arms caught up in all the pointless fabric and start crying because they used to be able to take care of themselves and now they're trapped in saggy bodies and really poorly designed clothes. Sorry, I was having a moment of empathy there. They don't come often, so when they do I just have to silence my mind and enjoy the ride.

The ladies aren't alone. They've brought their daughters! Yikes. Seriously, when you think you wanna marry a girl, meet her mom first. They're like maps.

Picture 6-67
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! STOP THE CAR!

The daughters are all college grads and Heidi informs us that they're in dire need of makeovers. Yikes. Ya don't say. No matter how famous or celebrated or wealthy Heidi Klum gets, she will always be a giver. There are plenty of people trying to help the homeless, but only someone with true ingenuity and love in their hearts would reach out to the homely like this. That said, this crop of designers have a hard time making gorgeous twigs look presentable. Just what do you expect them to do with this?

200809171938
Long live the Turnblads!


Seriously. Hairspray the movie? Loved it. Glad to see Tracy kept the dancing up and lost a few. I think these two were shipped in as a special gift to Kenley and her refusing to live in the 2000's ass. And then Mamma Turnblad opens her mouth.

Give it to me people, I was spot on with that one. Sure enough, Kenley is assigned to them. I saw on Entertainment Tonight last night that the real Tracy Turnblad (well, the real one from the movie) was arrested for kicking someone's ass in an airport. Let's hope we get that same spunk tonight. Kenley needs a good smack.

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Comments (39)

DrJerkass:

Flip, that's very nice of you to feel some shame for writing mean things about these people. I guess that's why I'm afraid to try out, I have no such shame. My opinion is that they volunteer to be on reality tv, thereby throwing themselves in front of the nation. They may be good people, but I'm still gonna tear them apart because it makes me feel like a big man. Does that make me a shallow and uncaring person...don't answer that.

Anyway, don't feel so bad. Even if it upsets them, if you make more than one person laugh at the comments, it swings the equation in your favor (and I was laughing my meanspirited ass off).

MrsBojangles:

Great recap as always!

Do you think they chose the most homely looking people for this challenge on purpose? Good God those people needed desperate makeovers. (I'm so ashamed of my superficiality)

DaraDay:

I LOVED (LOVED!!!!) Jerrel's outfit. I would wear it every single day of the week. I'm not a painter though, I'm a librarian.

Michigan:

Watching PR is second only to reading your recaps as my favorite moments of the week, Flipit.
Did anyone else think the "special guest" was Tila Tequila when the Tressemme lady came out?

I'm definitely starting to warm up to Jerrel. I see a Jerrel, Squirc, and CutToe Bryant Park.
I can't wait to see the smack down of Kenley next week (I hope we wont' be disapointed.) She and Pleather MUST go.

Pegster:

I am really warming up to Jerrell, which is odd because he annoyed the shit out of me at the beginning of the season. I think he has a chance to take this thing and move out of his cardboard box.

Can't wait to see Kenley get hers next week. That girl really gets my blood a-boiling.

J-Mo:

Flipit, you are so awesome... the Mrs. Peacock parallel had me peeing all over (and it was like having an itch in the upper center of your back, when I saw that fucking feather-thingy on Hobosexi's head last night I was immediately like "I've seen that thing somewheres before.... but where?" and it bugged me all night long, and then when I saw the Eileen Brennan pic I felt the sweet scratchy relief of "Ahhhhhhh, there's where I've seen that thing before!")

I was guessing that Straight Guy was going home when he picked out that hideous pin-striped fat boring corporate executive suck-up suit material, but when they showed him speaking with the family I turned to my BF and screamed "OMG he is SO going home now!!!!" and my BF thumped me across the forehead for screaming at him.

And I absolutely loved your observation of Pleather's "he's run out of dead relatives"! You are so right, we're down to the final six and talent-free Pleather is still in it?!? This season is just a tad bit atrocious...

PLUS, am I the only one reading between the lines here that when Straight Guy says he got into fashion to prove you can do whatever you want to do, what he's really saying is "Gays and chicks aren't the only ones who can design clothes, straight guys can too!"? What an assmunch, and he totally deserved to go home for making a chunky girl look downright rotund...

love, J-Mo :)

P.S. My favorite moment tonight was when Nina was shredding Pleather's shit-rag dress and she stopped herself and said "I will say no more." Between that and the look on his annoying uggo face I was in heaven... sheer heaven!

detinha:

Let.me.up! ROFLMAO!
I feel sorry for those who read these recaps while working! I see a wave of people being fired! Well, we can always blame on the economy and Bush and Ike and Yikes!

Now, please, let me regain my dignity and continue to read!

AuJew:

flip, you never fail. reading about kenley's obstacles made me laugh so hard i peed a little.

"opinions are like STD's: everybody has their own, nobody wants someone else's, but we keep giving them to each other anyway?" that's how i completed the sentence, anyhow.

thanks for plugging my show, btw ;o) complete mulletfest this week. the only thing i can say is i know the mullet made a comeback in japan because daisuke matsuzaka came back to the sox this season sporting a mean one and his pitching has been amazing. maybe when you have really bad hair, the rest of the universe tries to make it up to you (stellar season, a visit from g-ram, a guest spot on reality tv...)

love your recaps, and you, forever and ever xoxox

gitgo:

Did anyone else think that the TRESsemme bitch's last name was STFU? (Jeanie Syfu)

And speaking of STFU - Kenley saying that she never changes her outfits based on Tim's input. Yes, Betty Page - what does HE know. He has never worked for WalMart. Hurrumph.

Joe was outseedaisyed. My pocket square is sad.

detinha:

Michigan,
I thought it was Tila Tequila too! LOL A mullet one! (Shame on me for knowing who Tila Tequila is!)lol

Flip,
Don't feel bad for the real people! They got a TRESemmé makeover, man!

I think Hobo's hat was made by Keith, it was his way of reminding everybody not to touch his sewing machine! LOL

Did anyone else think that Hobo's skirt was little too tight?

CutToe's daughter is adorable! Just adorable!

Love,
Val

Y3KPhenom:

"opinions are like STD's: everybody has their own, nobody wants someone else's, but we keep giving them to each other anyway?"

I laughed out loud when I read this. Must remember when my family gets a little too far into my business... LOL

flipit:

guys thanks so much for reading. you crack me up and your comments make my day! is that really the quote about opinions? i have never heard that, but i will be sure to use it as many times in conversation as possible this week, this being an election cycle and all. love it!

and dara, i am sure you are the hottest librarian EVER.

anhoo, LOVE. i wish we could all watch together next week when gunn punches kenley in the face and then nina kicks her when she's down and makes her cry. that's how i'm hoping it all goes down, anyway! xo

krut:

My adult diaper filled up with I heard Mr/Mrs. Turnblad say "I'm her mom Nancy...."

Great recap as always Flip - me thinks you should have your own series..

DaraDay:

Flipit, I really truly am. That's in part b/c most librarians are 250 years old and I'm 25.

juddfan:

Thanks as always for the awesome and speedy recap, Flip!!!

I loved Hobo's girl, she was so cute in her awkwardness and (I'm guessing) freshly out of the closet status! I did think that outfit was olderish, but I loved her transformation, and I'm so glad she won!!! Happy horns!

Liked Cut's coat, but not sure about the dress under it.

Pleatha, oh the god's of reality television are really f*cking with us!!!!! PLEASE REMOVE THIS BLIGHT FROM MY SCREEN!!!!! WTF!!!! HOW!!!! it just can't be and I'm still in denial . . .

Did they really think Stella wouldn't have been better to see in these stages, did they not think a line from Stella would be more interesting, esp since they had all top six do lines . . . is it me? I know she likes leatha, but she had a definite sense of style.

Loved the rude to the wifeyness . . . . guess they're happy . . . .

Smellymelly:

I haaaaaaaaaaaate Kenley. I hate her. I hate her. I need her to die, like, right now.

I usually like to keep this show as a surprise, a gift to myself. But I cheated and looked at the final six designers' collections on bravotv.com and um.......Kenley's looked the best. Trust me, I hate myself and want to stab myself in the heart for saying it. But it's true. Fucking bitch.

LAjane:

Personally, I thought Mrs. Turnblad looked like Bette Midler's character in Hocus Pocus. Just me?

hutchlover:

Actually flipit, Hobi's girl (ewww... that's just wrong) is an ASSISTANT to an artist, in which case, the dress is wholly appropriate for the workplace.

My guess is she'll be working in his office, and that's why the skirt instead of pants.

My 22 year old LOVED the outfit.

BTW, Suede is an untalented hack, but at least he's not Ricky Lizalde (PR4). I could stand him another week if it means Kenley goes home next week.

hutchlover:

Oops, forgot to add that Jerrell is one of the sweetest guys ever to appear on PR, but I just about oui-oui'd myself at the Mrs. Peacock reference.

AuJew:

flip--i don't know if that's the quote, i made it up as far as i can tell. it just sounded right to me. i'm glad you liked it, though :o)

xoxox -A

AuJew:

p.s. LAjane--yes. YES. love that movie, and completely agree.

mousecat:

I wouldn't keep watching this ridiculous show without your colorful commentary.
Debbie Downer...perfect. I scared my cat laughing so hard!
Kenley, oh Kenley. Yes I want to see her go down and cry, cry hysterically while the remaining contestants giggle openly and uncontrollably.

UncleBuFube:

Flip -

I love your recaps. J-Mo and you make my week when i read them. I do believe the quote in questions goes " Opinions are like assholes, everbody's got one." Please keep up the awesome work and as much as I hate to say it.. i almost cant wait for this season to be over!

sevenfourteen:

flip, this one was the best ever. Clue is my favorite movie of all time so I was just waiting for Hobosexi to start turning his head and say, "but we don't know that we are" and then fumble with that hairpiece.

I now love you more than ever, thanks for the recaps!

skies:

Loved the recap and your picture captions are the best. Mrs. Turnblad..LOL.
Kenley and her clone acted like two teenagers laughing on the runway. A word to the wise Kenley..life has a way of turning around and biting you on the ass when you least expect it.
And poor Joe's girl..he aged her 20 years with that frumpy suit.
Miss Peacock's dress was the best and you know he made that feathered hat for himself.

detinha:

I guess we need a disclaimer for TVGASM.com

"These recaps brought to you by: Depend!"

LOL

Monamonzano:

I know! I love making fun of the real-ies on reality tv, but If I were on people would call me a fucking retarded eighth grade boy.

(and I'm not. I'm actually a 24 year old woman. So, that's why it's sad).

c'est la vie.

ttsnibbly:

Hey guys,

I like Kenley...

NOT

AuJew:

*horsey laugh*

*cries*

mermaidtricks:

Okay, I know I'm late with this because Stella was already voted off a couple weeks ago, but I just registered today.
But Stella totally looks like Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove.

itchy:

I'm not sure I get the Kenley hate...isn't she just doing what you/we are doing most of the time in these recaps/comments? I mean, sure, she's doing it on tv...but I'll best half of you are like that in real life too. And the rest of you wish you were.

And the fact that most of the time she's laughing at Straight Guy or Pleatha...well, she's right, isn't she?

For my part, I just can't get past her weird teeth. They just throw me. Or bite me. Or...whatever.

Never realized Leanimal was so tall and leggy. Grrrrrowlllll!

sayhuh:

I read in Tim Gunn's blog of the episode that Jerrell's hat had been intended to go on his model's head. Tim asks his readers if they think that Jerrell would still have won if she had worn that stupid thing. I think it's pretty obvious what Tim thinks. I think it's also pretty obvious Tim doesn't like Kenley much, so that should be enough for you, Itchy.

Jeffrey's new look is straight out of the Beastie Boys' Sabotage video. How forward-thinking of him!

I have just started driving my daughter's carpool, and I have realized that, when she speaks, Kenley sounds just like the 10-year-old girls I drive. I'd say she sounds like one that I know will be a Mean Girl when she gets to Junior High, but the kid actually sounds smarter than Kenley.

J-Mo:

I must beg to differ that any commentary or comedic recapping of a reality competition can be directly compared to Kenley's behavior during judging on the runway evaluations. For Kenley to continually and publicly delight in the dressing down of her fellow contestants while standing on the runway with them in front of the judging panel shows a clear lack of professionalism and tact on her part. Not to mention that it's unsportsmanlike (closest term I can think of) and just plain mean and rude to do in real-time while being filmed for a TV show to be broadcast in front of an audience of millions.

Blogging the show after it has aired and commenting on said recaps on the web is akin to simply talking harmless smack behind someone's back, and none of these designers are forced to have the added humiliation of witnessing/hearing/reading our razor-sharp and witty reparteé unless they are masochistic enough to google themselves and seek it out... and then they get what they ask for, ¿si? Kenley and her loud mouth are not giving her fellow designers that choice...

Plus it's just plain bad form that she certainly likes to dish it out, but gets very upset when she has to take it...

love, J-Mo :)

AuJew:

j-mo, couldn't have said it better myself. actually, don't think anyone could have said it better. sing it, boyfriend.

DETINHA:

J-Mo,

Very well said! Although, my main goal in life is to be just like Kenley! (NO!) LOL

Kenley is the first contestant that I see doing that. Very unprofessional, and even the judges are losing patience with her. I don't hate her, I hate her behavior, and her voice and her outfits and her hair...

Peace!

Val

fycin:

Flipit, I don't know how you top yourself every time with these recaps. I usually don't get to watch PR until Thursday or Friday but I can't help peeking at your recaps beforehand anyway. I know I would have missed CutToe dancing away after sympathizing with Leeann.

Anyway, I am liking Jerrell. He has always been (except for the pocket square business) very gracious and sweet. He and Andro were so cute together. He needs to stop deconstructing womens clothes and wearing them though. I'm pretty sure that's what's going on with his wardrobe.

Also, I think everyone should vote for Stella for Project Runway fan favorite. After a bunch of 13-year-old girls gave Christian the money last year and ROBBED Chris March... Stella should totally win. God I miss her.

itchy:

Not to worry, J-Mo, I'm not supporting Kenley as a person... but as a reality television character, she's great fun to watch.

The show would be a lot less interesting if a) these people were 'normal' and socially adept, and b) if any of them actually were able to design...

And I'm also betting that a lot of Kenley's onscreen "misbehavior" comes from the editing -- these producers ALWAYS want a villain. It would be so easy for them to splice in a shot of Kenley laughing --and make it look like she's laughing at the others. But since they're filming this, and since most of what we see is staged and, if not rehearsed, at least repeated several times, I'm sure there are plenty of occasions where everyone there has giggling fits (otherwise, how would they fill the bloopers section on the DVD?).

And it's easy enough for the producers to NOT show all of the nastiness coming from the other designers, to make them look better. And to focus on the comments that Kenley --no doubt the producers hate her too!

And especially since the whole Kenley story line seems to be heading toward next week's blowup episode...which the producers obviously have been preparing for during the editing process.

But that's why I love reality television so much, I just love to see how the editors/producers transform 'reality'.

Oh yeah, one final thought: I found that Christian idiot who won last season to be every bit as disrespectful as Kenley is portrayed to be (and definitely as annoying to watch as both Blayne and Suede)...with his own variation of nostalgia design (early 80s British goth new-wave--including the stupid hair-- in his case)...yet people let him slide. And he won?

sayhuh:

If this episode had been "make an outfit for America Ferrera in Ugly Betty", then Kenley would have won, hands-down.

Itchy, you should have seen last season's "Shear Genius", where the meanest, nastiest, most evil bitch won Fan Favorite. I guess the difference between her, Christian and Kenley is that she actually went up in people's faces and told them exactly what she thought of them. I hated her, but I very grudgingly have to give her points for not doing it only behind their backs. However, I would only vote for the really nice and lovable people, like Chris March. If I had to HAD TO choose someone this year, it would have to be Leanne or Jerrell (hammdhphgftff... excuse me, I just threw up a little in my mouth.)

sayhuh:

Yikes, and Korto, I forgot her! Does that mean I don't find her stuff that memorable?

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