This week, on the season premier of Project Runway, Lifetime culls personalities from seasons past and does their best not to f up the best show on TV while Tim shows off his bottom teeth.
Funny how time can change your perceptions, ain't it? When it was announced that Bravo let this show go to Lifetime, you, me and the rest of the world were like HUH? LIFETIME'S GONNA KILL IT!! Any network that gives Jo from Facts of Life her own show can't have anyone's best interests at heart. Then The Fashion Show happened. Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn could come out, stare at each other for an hour and then poop on the floor, and I would still give it a standing ovation at the end. I AM SOOOO HAPPY TO HAVE THIS SHOW BACK!! Now please, Lifetime. Don't fuck it up.
When we see our first shot of Tim and Heidi on the pre show marketing pic, I get all excited. Even Tim's smiling. Well, he's trying to. I think Tim's totally discovered Botox, you guys.
Can anyone frown smile better?
We jump right in by meeting our first designer. He says his name, but I rewound four times and still couldn't understand him. I went to the stupid Lifetime website to find out, and it's Ra'mon-Lawrence. Not Ramone or Raymond. Ra'mon. Like ya mon with an r. Yay for having both an apostrophe and a hyphen in one name. My meemaw's name is Ramona, and she wouldn't seem like such a hick if she just added an apostrophe. I'm totally telling her that in the next Shoebox Greeting card I send her. She's not gonna like it.
Ra'mon (I'm gonna giggle every time I write that) is 30 and wears plastic white sunglasses, cuz 30 is the new 15 on reality tv. He tells us that he's always been ambitious. We already knew that, silly. Nothing screams ambition like a braid mullet, a bowling bag as a purse, and a member's only jacket. He was gonna be a neuroscientist, and as he tells us this, his face is like "got that? I'm smart."
Sorry, but I don't think you're allowed to brag about going to med school unless you, you know, FINISHED. I wouldn't even bring that shit up. He did, though, and I have a feeling he will remind us that he was physically in a medical school building at least five times before he's kicked off the show. He says that his goal is to go against the grain. Then we get a snapshot from his portfolio. Been done! Like, decades ago.
At least when Scarlett O'Hara used drapes she made them look like an actual dress. You're not just supposed to take the curtains of the pole and throw them on a pasty hungry girl. DUH.
Oh damn. My bad. Ra' doesn't have a mullet after all. He's got braids that go down his back. I was actually happy to see a mullet. NEVER MIND. Next up is Logan, who says he's not a "typical designer". In other words, he thinks he's straight. There's always one of these, eh? I'm not buyin' it. That's a bottom if I've ever seen one.
Subtle, Straight Guy.
I hope we see less smiles from him. His teeth are whiter than Carrie Underwood.
We get a clip of his Bio Video, and he looks all gruff and manly in it.
Not buyin' it? Then watch him drive his Mustang really fast!! Still no? He says that if his limo breaks down on its way to Fashion Week, he'll pop the hood and fix it himself! You know, cuz he's a MAAANNN! The producers probably watched this ridiculous video and made a bet on who among them would get the first blow job from Logan.
Johnny has finally made it on the show after three previous tries. He knows why he didn't make it the other times, though. He had a crystal meth addiction. Uh, yeah. Yeah. That would probably put you towards the back of the line. I know we just met, but some advice? "Hey, I'm Johnny, nice to meet you" is probably what you should open with from now on.
Inside voice. Shhhhh.
He talks to Straight Guy and Ra'mona about his darkest hour, and battling back to live life to its fullest. Straight Guy almost falls asleep.
That's awesome. I can fix car engines.
I can't properly judge Johnny until I know whether this portfolio pic was shot before or after he was wasted.
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Comments (23)
Aaaaaah, I am so excited PR is back!! I need more Tim Gunn on my TV. (And holy recap speed, Flipit. LOVES IT!)
I have to admit, I was a tad disappointed Fish was eliminated, only because I would love to see what outfits she would wear in future episodes. This episode had a Pointdexter outfit AND a bodysuit with shorts AND some ridiculously cheesy 80s print.
Loved Minnesota's dress. It seems like the talent level is high this year, although I think that will really be determined when they have one of their weird challenges, like make a dress for a blind widow in the 1920s using only orange peels and tinfoil.
Hilarious recap, Flip! Can't wait to read your take on the All-Stars challenge. (I think it was total BS who won, even though I loooooooved that person during their season.)
1 of 23 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on August 21, 2009 2:23 PM
Wow, Flippy!!! You're my hero putting this up so fast, whilst I sit stewing in post fashion TV eve with no where to put it!
The first show is always so hard, coz there's so many peeps. Sadly, I watched late, and the model show was live and the first word uttered was who got cut, so that kind of sucked for me . . . and yes, it wasn't boring, and that nude thing and the original were both hideosities!!!
I liked Ramona's myself, and I thought for the winner, I liked the top part, but the ruffles, eh . . .
Lo, how ironic she cut the Sam doppleganger . . . where was her relationship at when this was filmed, I wonder? it's over now, right?
XOXOXO
2 of 23 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 21, 2009 4:01 PM
I will be rooting passionately for Minnesota and Ra'mona this season. Only because they are both from Minnesota. Woot woot! They best not suck.
3 of 23 | Posted by aman | Posted on August 21, 2009 4:20 PM
Awesome recap Fl'ip.
4 of 23 | Posted by Clair | Posted on August 21, 2009 4:29 PM
I was afraid this was going to suck on the PMS network, but it's the same show...same opening sequence, same music, same everything. So, thank GOD!!! Loved the All Star Challenge, will hold my comments until the recap so I don't spoil it for anyone.
My favorite was Ramona's and I'm secretly rooting for Alpha Blondy (I forgot his name).
I liked the model show, its like a totally arbitrary ANTM. I wonder how they'll make it interesting since the norm is almost always that the designer stays with the same model throughout the show. Maybe after a certain number of times they are forced to pick someone different or else it'll be just plain stupid to watch.
I can't believe those models got all that free shit, makes me want to reconsider career paths...
5 of 23 | Posted by Nimabu | Posted on August 21, 2009 5:01 PM
Flipit and Tim Gunn...back together again. My life is complete.
6 of 23 | Posted by K_Lo | Posted on August 21, 2009 5:09 PM
We call those paper fortune tellers "cootie catchers" here in the Midwest. Not sure why.
7 of 23 | Posted by ellenorah | Posted on August 21, 2009 6:21 PM
Flip:
It's killing me, but I can't watch the show yet! I think it's GE's New York strategy, or something...but my DVR recordings and Lifetime Channel keep going to an all black screen with audio. Every other channel is fine. When I rewind the DVR recording, the video that is blacked out in real-time is there! It's fucking frustrating! Plus, I'm deaf...so when I called the cable company, we had a less than productive conversation. I'm shaking my little digital fists at the air and hoping to see it soon. Your screen caps made me giggle, though!
Talk soon
DS
8 of 23 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on August 21, 2009 6:50 PM
I have to agree with Leeh. After Fashion Show and looking at PR designer profiles on-line, I didn't have high expectations for this season's talent pool. But, outside of the booty shorts, this first show is 10 times better than that of FS. Even the worst dress is wearable and well-made.
9 of 23 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on August 21, 2009 8:03 PM
Project Runway + Flipit = LUUUUUVVVV!!!!! I shouldn't be this happy but I just can't help it. Yay!! I am SO looking forward to a season of Flipit's recaps of one of the best shows on TV. The wait has been too long. Rock on!
10 of 23 | Posted by sillygrrl | Posted on August 21, 2009 9:05 PM
Cueing Mr. Astaire: Heaven, I'm in heaven... Yay, PR is back and Flipit is giving us all the day-after snark. Did I mention I'm in heaven? Although you sadly pinpointed how stale the stock personalities are becoming, but it's early still, so I have some hope for this season. Except for the brokedown guest judges. Nicole Kidman as a guest judge would have been cool; Lindsay Lohan not so much. You mentioned the leggings, and whenever I've seen her she just looked plain slutty or cranky grandma-ish, like last night. I swear all she was missing was a purple hat. Oh no, wait, those ladies actually look like they're having fun... Anyway, she left a sour taste.
I didn't fall in love with any of the dresses, but I thought the only two monstrosities were the purple people eater Qrwztylkdytl (Crystal must be the most spellingifically abused name in the history of the world) whipped up, and the L'eggs muumuu. I could at least imagine some nonconformist wearing the disco soccer ball to the VMAs, and it actually fit the model, but the only people I could imagine wearing the other stuff were a very drunken Studio 54 reject in the first case (or maybe it's the other way around, and that's the way , and Norma Desmond in the second.
I was very disappointed in the All-Star challenge - I found it boring, I had to look at Jeffrey's mug again, and the winner was one big "HUH?????" I think he should have won his season, and I liked him, but that crap last night was awful. And they preferred that to Uli's stuff? I also used to enjoy Santino's antics, but back then it looked like he was interested in designing, now it looks like he just wants to stay a reality TV moron, er, I mean, star.
The model thing was mostly boring, and I don't have much hope that it will become any more interesting, but it did add a little to the understanding of what had gone on in the show proper. And I found myself kind of rooting for the redhead model of the eliminated designer. She looked like such a kid without her makeup and spacey costume on. The way she looks and sounds, I also kept expecting her to break out into a "once, at band camp..." speech.
11 of 23 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 21, 2009 9:11 PM
Yay! Lifetime is giving PR the respect it deserves and it isn't wallowing in the quagmire of the "Housewives" shows and "NYC Prep" and all that Bravo crap.
This season seems to have a lot of competent designers. As for talent, we have yet to see, but I thought that there were 5-6 designs this week that had merit. The winner, Gordana, Shirin, Irina, Ra'mon (doesn't he look like a sexy singer from the '80s, El DeBarge or somebody like that?), Louise, Carol Hannah (a little cutie-pie, like Jordan on BB), and Althea (of the soap opera name)all have promise. The jury's out on Malvin, Nicolai, and some of the others, but I'm afraid Qristyl has a taste deficit and Mitchell's original design sucked as much as the nightie he sent down the runway.
I'm probably forgetting somebody, but, anyhoo, I think this looks like it could be a good year. Oh, the straight guy,he might be OK, too.
The losing design was so poorly executed. Any quilting granny can do better octagons than that, with one hand tied behind her back. The shorts were kinda cute, though.
12 of 23 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on August 21, 2009 11:11 PM
Is the AllStars on Bravo or Lifetime? I missed it, but they should show it again and I'd like to see it.
Dogsnaxx, I show Project Runway is playing again on Saturday at 10:00 pm Central time. Good luck!!
13 of 23 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on August 21, 2009 11:16 PM
Love Flipit! Yay!
This first episode is already 100 times better than the whole season of Fashion Show. I was very disappointed that they trotted out LiLo, ugh. And isn't it ironic that they have an admitted meth addict on the same show as a woman named Qristal? I'm going to have to watch closely for the Pavlov dog's response everytime some one says her name around Johnny and see if he starts drooling. I really don't think he'll make it a whole season before he goes bat shit meth crazy.
juddfan:
Interesting, I hadn't noticed fruit loops looks like Sam but she does, I thought doppleganger too but it was in reference to the screen cap with her model, they look like twins.
xoxoxo Flip!
14 of 23 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on August 22, 2009 9:14 AM
Oh yeah, BTW Happy Birthday Flipit! You are like a fine wine, you just get better with age! I hope all your birthday wishes come true, if not then maybe you can at least get a fanny pack and some Krispy Kremes! Loves!
15 of 23 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on August 22, 2009 9:28 AM
Damnit, Judd...I so made a Sam Ronson/Fish reference in my Facebook Status...was so looking forward to commenting on it =P
Team Qrystal/Minnesota
16 of 23 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 22, 2009 10:04 AM
I thought she looked a bit like Sarah McLachlan (God, had to wiki that for the spelling), but googled Samantha Ronson and they are like twins. Fish looks more like Samantha than her actual twin Charlotte Ronson!!!
17 of 23 | Posted by Nimabu | Posted on August 22, 2009 10:32 AM
Looklng forward to another season of PR on TVG!!!
18 of 23 | Posted by 2funny2b4real | Posted on August 22, 2009 9:53 PM
Yay!!! Flipit you're back!! You totally make my day :) I am sooo looking forward to another season of hilarious recaps- can't wait to hear your take on the all stars...
19 of 23 | Posted by molo | Posted on August 23, 2009 9:22 AM
Broken Record Commenting:
YAYAY!!! So excited for the return of PR/Flipit! Excellent recap!
Also, I was really really confused as to the choice of Linds as a guest judge! I'd say for the past few years every pic I've seen of her she's either wearing ugly black leggings with an oversized T-shirt with like a picture of a lion on it or some shit - or she is wearing an ill-fitting bikini! I mean, perhaps immediately post-Mean Girls would've worked, but she is about the LAST person in Hollywood that should be judging other's style..just sayin'
Confession! I shed a tear during Tim's pep talk/intervention with Johnny - gosh I missed him!
20 of 23 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on August 24, 2009 7:54 AM
Sorry, tv freak ; ) tho it is usually me who's late to the party!!!! That damn work thing . . .
Happy Bday Flippy!!!! Can't wait to read all the new posts!
21 of 23 | Posted by iuddfan | Posted on August 24, 2009 10:17 AM
Well, at least this season it seems that nearly everyone is able to sew. Which is a pretty big improvement.
I'm a bit disappointed about the lack of overly flamboyant lisps thith theathon because that's usually my favorite part of the show.
At least a couple of the girls are pretty. Even though you know there's no way they'll let them win.
And I can't believe no one's head has exploded over that bullshit Qristal spelling. She should be shot just for that alone.
22 of 23 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 24, 2009 11:41 AM
YES! YES! YES! Soo happy that PR and Flipit are back - and add my agreement to all those who commented that at its WORST this show is 1000 times better than the Fashion Show....
Thanks to your line "You look like Yoko Ono in a Jaclyn Smith wig" I have smoothie spit all over my screen. Totally worth it, tho.
I was surprised that they got rid of the nutjob so early - she seemed like she would be wealth of entertainment. The second loser (Mitchell?) does not seem to have a future - too nervous. And agree with everyone that Qrystpokelkw also seems to have a short future on this show...
HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, FLIPIT! Wishing you all good things - oxoxox
23 of 23 | Posted by ngasmifan | Posted on August 24, 2009 12:52 PM