Tonight on Project Runway, Yoko makes eggs and Nina smiles too much.
Bring back Nina!
This guy tells us that he really wants to win Project Runway cuz it's his dream. He proves it to us by making that stupid fake prayer face, that in 2009 we know means insincere sincerity.
This move was made douchily famous by Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback.
ARGH. I don't know why I'm so Christian today, but I am really getting fucking sick of fake praying. If you're gonna ask God for something, make it important. Like a hairstyle that doesn't remind America of Dewey Duck.
Althea tells us that it's really a wakeup call when someone as talented as Fish is already gone. LOL. I predict Althea will be shocked by EVERYTHING. Straight Guy tells us that being kicked off PR first is like the most horrifying thing to ever happen to a person while Yoko stares/hides from behind a curtain.
OK Gypsy Rose Lee, I think he can see you.
Rick Gayranis giggles with the other boys about how America is going to remember him as the guy who looks like Rick Moranis and sent a naked chick down the runway with a gorgeous collar. I think he's got all that right except the gorgeous collar part.
The designers all go to meet Heidi Fat Bitch Klum at the runway, and she's wearing leopard print and some funky ass brown boots. This is so the night she went home and got knocked up by Seal. He always gets a boner when she does impersonations of The Nanny. I read it in GQ, I think.
Mr. Sheeeefield! Hehehehehehehehehehe
Heidi tells the designers that this week, they get to design for a celeb! Rick Gayranis gets all excited, but I suspect now that they're on Lifetime, they have some tricks up their sleeve. Like Meredith Baxter Birney or some shit. I would just sit back with my arms crossed until I knew for sure. This has nothing to do with anything, but Heidi is rubbing her womb while she talks, and it's making me uncomfortable.
She tells them that today's celeb is a fashion model and a film and television star, which leads Irina to think that it's Heidi. LOL. I don't think Heidi is a film star, but crazier shit has happened.
Not only is this chick famous, she's pregnant!! The oily guy who thinks he's Christian Siriano and calls himself the Feather Duster or whatever poops himself. Pregnancy? Equals fat. And we all know how designers feel about fat people.
See?
The supermodel superstar of the world is....Rebecca Romijn!! I think when you get fired from a show with an acting bar as low as Ugly Betty, you shouldn't be allowed back into Hollywood. You're done, biatch! The boys look excited, and the girls? Not so much.
That naked blue chick in X Men was totally degrading to women.
Qristyl looks like she's about to beat her ass. Romijn is preggo with twins. Damn fertility drugs are filling the world with copies, and they need to be stopped. I have a personal vendetta against fertility drugs. My mom took them in the mid seventies and I don't have a twin, but I do have webbed toes. DAMN YOU, drugs!!
Romijn says that her life doesn't stop just cuz her career has she's pregnant, and she needs clothes to go have lunch or talk business with people. Darn, they're gonna have to make her a dress. I was hoping someone would have to come up with some kind of acting skill for her to use in her later years. Never to late to be a Dame Judy Dench!
ACTIIING!
When they get back to the workroom, Althea is like totally excited and blown away that they like have like pouches for their dress forms!! OMG!! You know those dress forms are unmarried, which makes it all the sadder. To get with the spirit of the challenge, Christopher dresses like Bristol Palin.
My wahter just brooke don't cha knoow!
He isn't going to let winning immunity last week affect his work today. He's determined to have mediocre prom dresses that look like they're being attacked by cockroaches lining that winner's wall, dammit!
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Comments (21)
Love u flip - I always read your recaps because even on the worst day it makes me laugh. This recap is hysterical. Thanks
1 of 21 | Posted by gotogirl | Posted on August 28, 2009 2:48 PM
Once again I'm in awe of your recapping abilities. It's not enough that you get this out so crazy quick, but it's funnier than hell. Clever, smart and cute. Not fair! Those fertility drugs your momma took must have been good for something other than webbed feet.
2 of 21 | Posted by K_Lo | Posted on August 28, 2009 5:34 PM
A smiling Nina is a scarrry Nina.
3 of 21 | Posted by Quean CeCe | Posted on August 28, 2009 6:17 PM
I have been slayed, absolutely slayed: "He tells the designers to use the GLAD accessory wall to complete their looks." *snort*
4 of 21 | Posted by zbird | Posted on August 28, 2009 6:28 PM
Yoko kills me. He's sitting there, all noble in his sacrificial state, saying he's "just too conceptual for America". I heard myself saying out loud, "No, you're just too ridiculous for America."
5 of 21 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on August 28, 2009 8:16 PM
Wow, no wonder Nina doesn't smile much. She looks like a chupacabra.
6 of 21 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on August 28, 2009 10:09 PM
Coocoo Yoko, So glad he's gone. The papoose look has been done to death in several third world countries!!! Anyway Flip, ROFL!!!! Good recap!!!
7 of 21 | Posted by 2funny2be4real | Posted on August 28, 2009 11:02 PM
Kors MIA might be the reason for Nina's new found smilies. We'll see if they disappear once he gets back from Fire Island.
So glad James Poles older brother got the boot.
Totes hysterical as always.
shanti
8 of 21 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on August 28, 2009 11:42 PM
Fat Ma gets switched in the Models of the Runway portion/episode and completely loses her $#!t because of it (in view of the designers).
I know the Models portion of the show isn't the best...but for 22 minutes it brings some of the fun. Hope you'll consider adding a paragraph or two on it since they arent showing the model selection at all in the PR portion
9 of 21 | Posted by hightemp | Posted on August 29, 2009 6:06 AM
Yoko thinks he's a philosopher?! Why, because he wants to give his model chicken legs? Kant is rolling in his grave.
10 of 21 | Posted by sevenfourteen | Posted on August 29, 2009 6:37 AM
Common now, just because a woman has twins doesn't mean she took IVF. Once you get over 35 your chances of twinning increases dramatically since your body starts spitting out eggs rapid fire. Gotta use all those babies before menopause hits.
How on earth was Althea's dress okay? I was sure they were going to call her on those horrible cups that no pregnant woman would ever wear.
11 of 21 | Posted by Lifesabeach | Posted on August 29, 2009 10:50 AM
I cluck, therefore I am.
12 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 29, 2009 3:22 PM
"Someone with some lame ass hacky sentiments has taken over chalkboard duty this year." Indeed, and their poor choice of fonts makes "prize" look misspelled.
I liked Althea's final dress, but what ever made her think it would be appropriate for lunch?
Kenley Bangs' hand dye job isn't that impressive. Volunteer moms do that shit for their middle-school kids in the spring musical. Just sayin'.
Don't forget that Malvin ended his PR act with a wistful "too conceptual for America." Right. GTFO.
Alright, Ra'mona is a little sister's name in a Beverly Cleary book. wtf?
Did you say one of these guys was straight?
[mild chuckle at the Whole Foods about-face yada yada.] Now that it's been acknowledged, will you stop please?
Thanks Flip. Love you!
13 of 21 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on August 30, 2009 1:45 AM
Yoko Homo??? Bwwwhahahaha!
Flipit, you never fail to crack me up - great job as always!
I, too am amazed that they got rid of all the looneys early. But I am sure we will have drama from somewhere in future. However, Yoko's outfit was ridonk and it's clear he has no clue. I was glad Elvis won, I really liked her look, and that work on the waist was lovely. It seemed like overall the women had a much better grasp of designing for a preggo than the men did, althought that's not a huge surprise.
Also, it has escaped my notice that one model's name could be spelled "Fat Ma" - Flipit, you are the master of snark, and I love you for it! Hugs xoxo
14 of 21 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on August 31, 2009 7:37 AM
I love how they gave all the models bellies but left there boobs flat as pancakes
15 of 21 | Posted by fawm316 | Posted on August 31, 2009 8:37 AM
Loved this recap.
Am I the only that thinks Yoko mildly resembles Michael Jackson?
16 of 21 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 31, 2009 8:57 AM
Oh, and Kenley Bangs=Diablo Cody
17 of 21 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 31, 2009 9:01 AM
Divine, Flip it!!! It just wouldn't be the same without your recaps . . .
Where's Jenna for my piggyback . . . oh well, I liked the top three and Meth, and the sweata outta sheep's looked nice.
I'm with you flip, why do I hate that over waxed Queen . . . for me it's the earnestness and the pixie nose, that may or may not be natural . . .
Loved the model show, it's great to see behind the scenes, esp the elimination--I loved to hear what they thought of the designers!
XOXOXO
18 of 21 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 31, 2009 12:01 PM
I've been a long time fan of Flipit's fabulous recaps but this one in particular included so many laugh-out-loud funny comments that I had to register for the first time so I could post a comment...
Flipit, you had me at the Meredith Baxter Birney reference and it just got better from there. Excellent recap as always -can't wait to read the next one. XOXO
19 of 21 | Posted by teeveejunkee | Posted on August 31, 2009 12:38 PM
Who in their right mind would design a JUMPSUIT for a woman pregnant with twins?? Do they not realize how often a woman that pregnant has to pee? She would have to strip down, over that big ole belly 4 times an hour!
20 of 21 | Posted by Kloewent | Posted on August 31, 2009 2:52 PM
"Stamos' Revenge" Flip, you are a genius. I couldn't stop laughing through the whole recap.
21 of 21 | Posted by krumblebum | Posted on September 2, 2009 2:45 PM