Oh my God, I think I made that hot pot coaster in 4th grade! Did they buy it in my garage sale?

I'm also loving the baby swaddled on that woman's shoulder and the paintball gun/manners comment, hahaha! Oh fashion, why do you tease us so?

I recently learned what ombre (hombre :)) is so I will share. It is when fabric starts out light on top and flows into darker and darker shades of the same or (I think) contrasting colors on the bottom. I love your recaps! Never change. :)

I didn't get the neon green dress with the giant ink stain on the front either. It was stupid and fug.

Great recap, Flippy!

Clair, that is exactly what I thought of the scuba-stain dress.

Has avant garde come to mean "so hideous that no normal human would consider wearing it"?

When I saw Max Azria all I could think of was his Miley Cyrus tweenie partnership label being sold at Wal-Mart. Isn't that, and his appearance on this show, all I need to know about him?

I saw Nina hawking her book on FBN of all places, talking about a woman's must-have style essentials in This Economic Climate. It was as bad as that sounds.

I love it when the schoolyard-last-picked designer ends up in a top-three team.

"half saloon whore and half regular whore" LOL

That picture of Straight Guy and Minnesota's avant-garde look appears to be a model sitting atop a fabric rhinoceros.

The only thing I disagree with you about regarding Qris and Epp is that IMO, as bad as he sucks, she's basically right there with him. She has no backbone, and stood around doing quite a lot of whining herself. They can both blow hot soup.

Love that the winning ensemble team consisted of both the Challenge Winner and the Auf'd Man. That's great. But both their looks sucked, so I totally don't get it. The neoprene stain dress was pitiful, and their "beachwear" was a flowy dress. In fact, there was not one proper surferwear ensemble in the whole entire show.

The only reason I kinda wanted Gayranis to stick around was I was going to start trying to work his nickname into being Gayranis John Mayer if possible. But okay, I'm glad he's gone.

The neoprene nightmare (ink stain dress) is the one Tim Gunn has promised that he will buy and make Rachel Bilson (giant head) wear, since she said that she would wear it.

I read somewhere that Epperson is a born-again Christian. Maybe he is one of those that believe that women should be submissive to men. She should have picked Johnny Methhead; he does pretty good work and seems much nicer.

Since it stretches as soon as it hits the water, I was surprised that many of the designers thought that macramé would be an appropriate material for a surfer girl's swimsuit.

There was one year in the late seventies when macramé was popular for bikinis. I used to love going over to Zuma Beach watching the girls trying to hold up their suits as they quickly ran out of the ocean. Many a boyfriend was screamed at to throw them a towel before they came out.

Because of that problem, the fashion lasted only a summer.

Flipit, I just love you. It's like you read my mind *(when it's not tuned to static) but make my thoughts way funnier. I also love that - even though it's impossible, since this was filmed before The Fashion Show - this show just seems designed to highlight just how shitty Bravo's replacement show was. Last week's James-Paul clone and this week's MexiJay clone would have been in the final 2 on that crapfest.

I don't get the judges this year at all. I think I've resigned myself to the fact that the ugliest piece of garbage walking down the runway will win.

So, Flipit, you've now made me watch the show wondering what screen shots you're going to grab. Generally I see the same ones on your recap that I think are the best.....BUT...how did you miss Nina and her "what was that, a fly, let me smack it" at the end of the judge's review. Please tell me you saw that. I really don't think I was hallucinating at that point. Altho the judges surely were when they said R'amona's 'avante garde' look was great. Maybe they were huffing a little too much Sex Wax?

Hahahaha : Wash. Your. Hair.

There's a huge fashion around here among the young (mostly white) hippie kids of wearing dreadlocks.

Eww.

Of course, I started shaving my head when I was 18, so maybe that's just a personal thing.

Hmm. No. Don't think so.

As for Gayanus -- if that dork had any hopes for a career in fashion, he's definitely tanked it with this show. I have to assume that most of the fashion world watches the show (in secret?)-- who would be stupid enough to hire that lazy, talentless idiot?

Another great recap!

Yeah, that winning outfit sucked balls. And Epperson may be an asshat, but at least he's a low-key mumbly one. Qwrlkejdsztyl may have been right in complaining (never in her spelling,) I don't know, but she was getting on my nerves with her loud whining.

And I thought I was crazy, when I saw Max Azria in his red T-shirt/black vest, I thought "wasn't Lindsay Lohan wearing the same thing when she was a guest judge?" So I googled the image and, well, pretty much she was! What's going on?

LOL. LOL. ROTFL. Flipit you rock.

Watching this show confuses me. I can't believe any of these creations pass for fashion. The only think I could think when I saw those ridiculous lace garters coming down the runway was, "At least bathroom breaks will be easy."

Am I the only one who gets Rachel Bilson and Mila Kunis mixed up? To me they're interchangable.

Gayranis looks just like Van Hansis (who plays Luke on As The World Turns. Google him in images to compare.)

Flipit...I love you and your recaps (which are the only thing good about this show)...but wouldn't it be Prophet of Doom, not Profit of Doom? Unless you think Tim benefits from making the contestants miserable...

Great recap! Thanks as always for the laughs. "HUH? You suck! If that's yourself, be someone else."

I just want to know why the hell the judges didn't slam the designers for not showing BEACH. No one was even questioned about the theme. I live at the beach and I couldn't see it in 90% of the clothes. Lots of muddy brown and dark clothes--how is that beach?
If the show is going to promote a theme and take the designers to the ocean, at least hold them accountable.

Awesome recap!
Ewwwwwwww @ Epperson, what an a-hole!

Btw, Max Azria actually "stole" the green leaves dress for his BCBGmaxazria Summer 09 line....

Today I needed you Flipit. Your recaps make me laugh and Tim Gunn is a god!

I was in the drive thru at Taco Bueno digging for enough change for my "party burrito and party taco" which is sad when you are a party of one, when I realized I had just used my bills on scratchers. So I giggled at the mini-wager that I was having to dig for change when she immediately came back with a lower price because she had just given me the senior citizen discount! "Not that I looked old" so she said. I am not yet a senior citizen and the thirty cents I saved was not worth the slap to my ego, I cry...
So thanks for the laughs, I totally did not get that neoprene lime green dress either. I also think it's funny that Azaria was speaking English but they saw fit to caption him, hahaha.

@ shantigal - your "scuba-stain" comment made me giggle. Brought to mind scuba girl being fish-handled by a dolphin. Great recap as always :)

"Then he wrote ENGLISH in the sand and peed all over it".... Gawd, Flipit, you are witty beyond belief. And the Katherine Hepburn (in later years) reference? I think I need to wear Depends from now on when I read your recaps....

Thanks to all the posters who just don't get the winning looks - so glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I thought I was fashion challenged (said while wearing a sweatsuit) but some of these looks just make me go HUH? Shantigal nails it with her comment "Has avant garde come to mean "so hideous that no normal human would consider wearing it"?

The Epperson/Qrystikcalkjre match was made in the ninth circle of hell fer shur. I did not care for Epperson's overbearing attitude and whining, but then I did not care for Qrystwoqela;'s lack of leadership and lack of skill. They both deserved to go IMO. But Gayranis was just so pathetic - I could not believe he admitted he chose Ra'mona to carry him. And he did not work much - glad this looosah is gone. This crop seems to have more talent than last season's group - should be fun to watch now that a lot of the dead wood is gone.

Flipit, as always, I send you major hugs! xoxoxo

as one of the few straight men in the project runway demographic, can i just stick up for rachel bilson for a second? she's my fave and absolutely gorgeous.

Thanks for the heavenly bliss of a recap, Flip!!! It is quite sad what has happened to the english language, and cliche's in particular . . . does anyone get them right, and even when they do, they are so overused-hence the cliche', right!? Is it me!? When can we finally replace throw under the bus (tho I like the Heidi switcharoo . . . )

I agree with all, and have yet to hear from anyone who thinks that green monstrosity was a winner . . . they really must have flushed those judges with cash to get them to sell us that bull.

Very disappointing week, fashion wise, I agree also, no beach to be found--where were the neon colors . . . and why didn't any of the models strip to show the bathing suit . . . I would have liked to have seen the losah job Gayanus did.

As for Eppi and Q . . . my oldest brother is like Eppi, he once showed my mother the correct way to apply a stamp, and even she said, as she regaled us with the tale, "I think I know how to put on a f*cking stamp!" Anyhoo, maybe I'm jaded, but I do see Q has her weaknesses. Were I on her team I'd have focused on my strengths and let her do her thing, worked for Dusters partner.

As you say Flip, seemed they wanted to take the chance to split a team, winner and loosah, and I'm glad, coz when she's not being bitched at, Q's fun!!!

Can't believe I would have rather seen either crazy contestant instead of Gayanus, but alas . . .

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Flipit, you rock, as always. Swimwear in Cali? I guess it had to happen, just like the red carpet look. Beaches and Hollywood are California, right? I just wish if they were going to do an avant garde challenge, they had done something like the fashion icons challenges of seasons past. Only with Disney characters. I can totes see Johnny Meth crying over his Goofy homage and people taking him seriously while Feather Duster tries to turn Daisy Duck into Daisy Duke.

Can someone tell me what were the surfer chicks even there for? Did anyone actually use what they told them or were the designers "inspired" by the pieces of arse that production hired to design only ass? 'Cause I don't see most (if any) of those outfits ever making it on a board. Or on a hanger anywhere outside of Ross Dress For Less. I’m pretty sure those girls didn’t say to Feather Duster, “I so want to look like a Russian stripper when I ride the waves.” Nothing says "ocean queen" like loads o' lace.

In art history class, my professor always did a powerpoint show for each era of history we went over. One day we came into the room and there was a slide of “Fountain” by Marcel Duchamp covering the entire wall; it was a 40 ft tall photo of a urinal. Ok, a urinal with a signature “R. Mutt” graffitied onto it. In 1917, Duchamp’s readymade (or “found”) art was considered very controversial and the “Foundation” never actually showed and was later lost. (Or possibly someone at the show got drunk on wine and used the “art” for its intended purpose, to piss in, and the directors were too cheap to admit it.) The show was called to task for failing to show the “Fountain” and the art was vigorously defended by many in the art community, summed up in an editorial as such: “Whether Mr Mutt made the fountain with his own hands or not has no importance. He CHOSE it. He took an article of life, placed it so that its useful significance disappeared under the new title and point of view – created a new thought for that object.”

This is as close to a definition that I can find for avant garde. In a war, they were the leading guard making headway into the city to conquer new ground. Whether or not you consider a toilet a piece of art is inconsequential to the effect it had, which was quite tremendous. “Fountain” inspired movements much more different from the ones its original designer intended for it. Avant garde in fashion is highly conceptual for the most part, usually formed around an idea that may be only known to the designer. Like Melvin’s egg dress or Ari’s soccerball dress, it doesn’t have to make sense to the general public. It wasn’t even necessarily designed for the general public. Or at least it should be; I don't think "Project Runway" and I have the same fashion dictionaries at home.

I am sort of sad that the judges auffed the avant garde designers for being avant garde; now they have a collection of designers with very little clue about the genre. The designers this season are more “Lifetime” than “Bravo,” methinks, and the judging has changed to follow suit. Avant garde fashion tends toward expressionism and experimentation with shape. Not one of these guys came up with anything particularly experimental, unless your idea of experimental is not being able to finish dying your venomously yellow neoprene “dress” or borrowing cliches from other more influential designers.

R'amon/Mitchell: "I chose to work with Ra'mon. I wanted to work with someone that could carry me on this challenge." And by "carry me" was he hoping for another reincarnation of Bowling Ball Dress from last week's episode? Guh. HATE. Good riddance to bad rubbish, as my Gamma always said. And Ra'mon. He wins on a total accident made in 20 minutes. Honestly, it's like he dipped a ShamWow into the blue washer fluid at the Texaco. As for the beach dress? It’s hanging on the rack at every department store in town.

Gordana/Nicholas: The beach look isn’t that bad. I like the macrame top, though the keyhole is off. A Missoni knock-off, at best. It might have made a more interesting swimsuit. The trousers were interesting; I sort of like the wrap effect at the top, but the hemming is awful and they sit too high for that top, especially where that cutout comes across the bottom. It makes the model’s mid-section look stunted. Bad effect. The avant garde look: Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt. That would be my Aunt Louise and she would have had a heart attack if she had gazed upon the lace wonder of Nicholas’ AG look. White lace dress; blue lace garters. WTF? When I said avant garde pushes boundaries I wasn’t talking of the one between the fashion district and the red light district. The Rungay boys compared it to a Russian Mail Order Bride, but I should think that even a Russian mail order bride wouldn’t be caught dead in this number. Unless it was a mob hit and the mobsters had a sick sense of humor and decided to desecrate the corpse so her humiliation would continue beyond the grave if the RMOBride ever wanted to go to an afterlife party. That said, I did like that organza ruff at the neck. It’s really quite beautiful the way it graces the model’s neckline and then trails down her back. It was such a good start, like a sex dream with a fantastic mystery lover and then a soft angle in to the face at the end reveals you are shagging your high school principal.

Johnny/Irina: What is it with the macrame this season? Did I miss the announcement that potholders are making a comeback? Ugh. Hate. Beach look is, again, not much of a beach look in terms of surfing, but it is nice and casual. I don’t like the skirt much, but the top looks very nice from the back. The avant garde dress is fug. I liked the concept of the brown and the woven effect, but it came off as overdone. Call it avant garde lite, ie, when a designer doesn’t do avant garde, is assigned to do something out of their genre, and then goes down a pre-printed checklist of Things Found on the Avant Garde Runway: cut-outs (“check”), intricate details to the bust/waistline (“check, check:”), a pouf on the sleeve (“check), draping (Eh, pretty sure that it isn’t supposed to be draping to create a penis shelf in front, but what the hell, “check”), volume (eh, “sort of check”) and visual interest in the back (“check, kickpleat, check”). Blah. Overworked and a Monet; it looks much better from far away (the next room which has no lights).

Epperson/Qristyl: Epperson least annoyed me in this couple, mainly because he was dead right to critique Qristyl’s choice of fabric; girl has a questionable sense of taste. Did he need to be a git? Well, no, but I couldn’t really tell who was the biggest edjit from the editing. They looked pretty well even, but I’m going with Qristyl on this one b/c she annoys me the most. Epperson, for all he talked (and talked, and talked), at least finished that beach dress in a way that was better than what it was). It was a sundress and not a very interesting one at that. No they saved their interesting look for the avant garde look. It was … pooh with green stuff in it. Shiny pooh with shiny green stuff. Highly unnatural and most likely a sign of prostate cancer if you shat it out. It was something a scientist might study for hours, thinking it was either a pancea for all ills or possibly the end of the world in a petri dish. Well, ok, if we take “avant garde” as a fusion of science and cutting edge fashion, maybe they achieved it, though, to be honest, I find nothing experimental about tying two scarves to a model’s arms. Unless they were to hang herself with after she catches a look at herself in a mirror. Hari Kari fashion. Ah, no, the Fountain may have been a crapper, but this was just poop.

Shirin/Carol Hannah: The beach look … was a beach look. Pretty and uncomplicated. The avant garde look wasn’t, though it was pretty enough. Sort of very blah altogether, which is still better than E/Q’s pooh.

Althea/Louise: I wanted to see more of the bathing suit, to be honest. Hated the cover up, but this does look like beach bunny outfit. I liked the avant garde look well enough. It had some very nice details. Hated the skirt though -- too Moulin Rouge – but I suppose this was their way of trying to take it up a notch (then they should have used tulle or at least a contrasting color underneath). I like Louise and you can see her 20s to 40s stylings all over this.

Logan/Christopher: Beach look, it is not, but I really liked this look. I mean, not on a surf board, of course. And I wouldn’t actually be able to wear it as I am not an Amazon and it looks a little too Diesel-cum-Express but, hey, if I had legs for miles and were 20, I would totally buy those pants. The avant garde dress I hated on first sight, but then I checked out some closeups. Damn, it’s got some really nice details to it that keep it from being a knock-off prom dress for a hyper-depressed Goth chick. Is it avant garde? Pretty close, if you consider McQueen avant garde. This look incorporates a lot of his go-to elements: volume, combination of interesting yet seemingly divergent style points, melding of different fabrics. Is it perfect, no. But none of these outfits were and at least it ties into the theme (wet suit-style top) and the other outfit (color scheme). Not as bad as it looked on first glance (which is also quite typical of avant garde fashion, lol).

jennaboa:
Flipit? Is that you? I swear jennaboa you need to pick a show and join the tvgasm writer's clique. Your comments were very funny and profound. Your intelligence is refreshing as is Flipits. Funny and smart are synonymous. Thanks for the extra laughs after Flipits excellent recap. Now I'm contemplating going back over previous recaps just to read your comments! xoxoxo all!