This week on Project Runway, illegal alien human hybrids across Earth bowed their heads in shame and we found out what gives Gunn boners.
My pants just got tighter in the crotch area.
The morning starts off pretty quiet. R'amona is glad Meth is gone, cuz with one clown out it makes the whole competition seem more serious. To prove it, he wears his serious glasses.
I'll get to sewing right after I finish my three page algebra equation, k?
There are still plenty of clowns left to go, so R'amona's theory is kinda shot. The serious level might not go up, but there will definitely be more food left on the krafts services table for everyone else to enjoy with Meth out.
Feather Duster makes some shitty remarks about Meth and then gives us the ole "I'm not here to make friends" routine. Poor Duster probably tells himself that everyday as he eats lunch alone and plays BrickBreaker on his phone. He doesn't care though, cuz he's here to get to the finals! You'll make it to Bryant Park kid! Most likely it will be on movie night though. Be more specific with your goals.
Gordana Beaverhausen is shocked, shocked I tell you, that she was in the bottom three last week. If she can't win making fabulously constructed mediocre clothing, she'll pull out the big guns...er, knees.
If day cayn rezist deez, I weel crake dare hayds open wiz my tighs.
Fat Slut Heidi comes out on the runway looking like a tasteful mourner.
Who can blame her for being a little depressed? With Meth gone there is a lower chance of breakdown action, and she's a producer on this show after all. The challenge today will involve something Los Angeles is famous for!
Porn?
Crack heads?
Idiotic hair cuts?
NO!! It's a blend of all of those things. Movies! Fat Ho finishes her two sentences and punches out, sending the designers to meet Tim and Collier Strong at a movie studio. Collier has spent a lot of money on his face, but the producers don't let us see it. He's shot either from behind of from the side, and it's damn rude if you ask me.
Ray Liotta skin should be celebrated at least in this challenge, but NOOOOOOO.
The designers will pick movie genres out of the bag, and they will have to create a character from that genre. Tim says genre like a hundred times cuz he really likes pronouncing it in his own special way. "ghjahnraaah". He should be wearing a top hat for this. Good news! It's a team challenge! YAAAYYYY! You know Heidi marched into that production meeting and was like "leesten all the craysies are gone so make da gays fight eachuddah to da deaf."
Wait. No it's not a team challenge. They just only have so many genres so two people are assigned to each one and will be making their own thing. Lame. There are more genres than this. Anime, Foreign Language, B, Horror, Romance and Documentaries totally get the cold shoulder. Come on! I was looking forward to a giant Michael Moor anti capitalism muumuu with a Big Mac special sauce stain down the front.
Feather Duster begs not to get stuck with western. I wish this was a team challenge so everyone else could beg to not get stuck with Feather Duster. It kinda cracks me up that I saw his t-shirt at Old Navy, cuz I could totally imagine him walking into that store with five inch platforms judging everything and then doing a Pretty Woman montage in front of the mirrors while a tired, annoyed, frightened and underpaid clerk picks all his shit up off the ground and tries to resist the urge to quit.
I'm sorry but I don't think we have anything here....that suits you.
Gordana Heatherhausen tells us that western would be hard for her too "becuss.....I'm no really American." LOL you don't say. Irina won last week so she gets to choose her genre. Film noir. Carol Hannah is quick to snap up action adventure cuz it means she'll be doing the same thing as Straight Guy and they can flirt about it. "I like action movies." "Me too." "Me too." "You said that already." "You did too." Hearts. Smiles. Lip licking. "I'm Straight." "I KNOW."
R'amona gets all excited to take sci-fi. He says it's cuz he's always been a Star Wars fan, but you know it's just an excuse to use silver. Kenley Bangs...wait. What happened to Kenley's Bangs?
Not allowed! Fine. Now I'll have to call you Teeth.
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Comments (14)
Flipit, you are a sick, sick man and I love you for it!! Poor, Poor Ra'mona thought he was going to pull another winner out of his ass, but alas he is toast! I couldn't see the connection between Minnihaha's dress and a vampire. And the judges all bought it. I liked your alien maid murder series much better then the bride to be vampire mail order bride. I guess that's why I'm on this side of the TV. Where's Kors and Nina??
1 of 14 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on September 25, 2009 10:15 AM
Nina has been in Europe covering the shows for Marie Claire. Michael has also been in Europe checking on his factories, gathering materials for his next line, getting inspiration, etc. Michael will be back next week and Nina will be back in October.
I've missed them and will be glad when they are back! Did anyone else notice that Zoe from Marie Claire was also the one in charge of the hideous interns on the show "Running in Heels"? she looked like she wanted to stab them every time they came whining to her about soemthing!
2 of 14 | Posted by marijai | Posted on September 25, 2009 10:38 AM
Seriously, why-the-face (anybody see Modern Family this week?) is up with the judging this season????? Feather Duster's dress looked pretty damn cheesy to me. I think it was the hair and makeup that actually won this one. Epperson totally should have won. Thank god Flipit is here to inject some sanity into it the day after. Yes, honey, even with the underwater-breathing maid fantasy, you're still a lot saner than any of the judges. I live for the day they invite you to guest judge on the show. People, we should start a letter-writing campaign to Lifetime.
Can't argue with Ra'mona's ouster, though. I saw he had "Borg" in his notes, so I'm sure he was thinking Borg Queen or Seven of Nine, but for that he really should have gone with a much less Kermit-y color.
"Kenley Teeth tells a story about an out of work actress trying to dress like she's from the twenties to get a part. LOL. She totally should have asked for help with that story." I think in the models show afterwards, they show her asking Fat Ma for help with the backstory, and Fatty came up with a doozy about how this girl has a really mean evil mother who wants to force her daughter to be a good girl. LOL. With help like that, no wonder she was in the bottom.
I liked the top of MN Alfalfa's dress, but really, how many poufy skirts can this man send down the runway? Let's count the ways:
epi 1 - the beetles from The Mummy attack a poufy skirt
epi 2 - poufy stomach (well, okay, she was supposed to be pregnant) with a poufy hem
epi 3 - avant-garde pee-stained looking top over a poufy skirt
epi 4 - hallelujah, the skirt is fitted at the hips - oh wait, it's got a poufy bottom
epi 5 - poufy newspaper skirt - hey, it's got feathers to make it look poufier!
epi 6 - vampire bride with poufy skirt
Hmmmm... I can't wait for him to do a men's wear challenge. Bet he would go for poufy harem pants.
Oh joy of joys, Kors is back and bitchy next week! YAY!
3 of 14 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on September 25, 2009 10:43 AM
Magical, magical Flip it has pulled off another instant recap!!!! You couldn't be more awesome if you were covered in sugar drips . . . ; )
Well, I agree on the judging . . . WTF! That was some tacky looking scaly shit , with sugar drips . . . ridonk! I think the movie plot was someone removed their slurpee from the doily and it came to life for revenge! Shoulda been Eppe's, coz that was damn clever . . .
Sorry to see Ramona go . . . I thought she was a contendah, but I'm not sure why.
I could totally see Kenley bangs doing a line . . . or costumes for Mad Men . . . right!?
I like Sheep to Sweater Gordy, but I think this was supposed to be her week . . .
Those who don't watch Models, they all had to switch . . . but if they can just switch back after, it's pointless . . . guess we'll see.
Thanks for starting my otherwise disoriented day with a laugh, Flip!!!
4 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 25, 2009 11:32 AM
Blair from Facts of Life is now a born-again Christian soccer mom...very ashamed that I know this
5 of 14 | Posted by ridonk | Posted on September 25, 2009 12:44 PM
LOVED IT! Although, poor R'a'm'o'n'a, I think I will become J'Mo in his honor.
Also, Lisa Whelchel (a.k.a. Blair) is now a frightening religious zealot who has her own web page where she posts blogs that tell all about how God talks directly to her. Now I know where that hair came from!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 14 | Posted by J'Mo | Posted on September 25, 2009 1:22 PM
awesome recap, laughed the whole way through. Sorry to see Ra'mona get kicked to the curb, but maybe now he can give Sarah Palin her glasses back.
7 of 14 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on September 25, 2009 1:52 PM
The more & more I think of it, the more I believe that Gorganhauser is a SEAMSTRESS, Not a Designer.
Her period piece, while gorgeous, brought nothing new to the table.
Personally, I thought she didn't deserve to be in the bottom three, but Althea did instead w/her boring b&w basic dress.
FYI - Logan & CH came to the NY showing of PR last week, together, and she was wearing a Logan design. Hmmm...
8 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 25, 2009 6:10 PM
No doubt Lifetime brought in an Evil Russell type to steal people's shit and fuck with their heads. THAT's where the bobbin is.
You'll see. He (or a troll like him) is going to be next year's de rigeur reality show accessory.
Say what you like about Irina, she's beautiful, so if nothing else she'll get a husband out of this show.
Oh. Oops.
Anyway, I have a gripe about the show's opening. You have all these people talking about how they're going to kick ass --except most of the people doing the talking have already been sent packing. So it's just kind of...lame.
Oh yeah, Zoe's the hottest of them all. I hope she stays. She's almost as vicious as Nina, but she does it with the cutest lil' smile. I just wish they'd show her standing up sometime.
Cause, you see, Flipit, the nice part about being straight is you don't have to focus on a single body part (eh hem). So if the tits are hidden, there's always the legs. Or the butt. Or the lips. Or just that mischievous look in the corner of the eye after a few whiskies on a lonely Friday night...
Speaking of straight...As boring as Epperdeedah is, his model is my favorite (yeah, I'm rooting for my own tribe, sue me), so as long as she's wearing it, it's GRRRREEEAAATTTT.
9 of 14 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 26, 2009 12:18 AM
Feather duster's dress totally reminded me of meth's attempt from last week. Wasn't FD all about rolling his eyes at meth's birds? I loved the bustle on the poufy skirt and the open back.
I'm a little late to the Qyrstal party, but I just found out that we were in the same graduating class in college. Touched by greatness I am! I looked her up in the yearbook and she was Chrystal (Crystal?) at the time. We went to a very small women's college in Columbia, Mo so I'm very surprised that I can't remember her. I do remember several of her friends though. I wish she would have lasted longer for some good publicity for our school and the fashion dept there.
10 of 14 | Posted by whoochile | Posted on September 26, 2009 6:11 AM
icemayer needs to fuck off.
11 of 14 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on September 26, 2009 8:12 AM
Way to incorporate the peopleofwalmart site! I love it. And I love you flipit!
12 of 14 | Posted by lillybaby | Posted on September 26, 2009 12:19 PM
Eppidural totally got robbed this week. His dress was amazing. Feather Duster? Not so much. Really thought Eppi deserved the win.
Totes in agreement with Hutchlover - Gorgonzola is a great seamstress, but not so awesome a designer. Her dress was bo.ring, but well made.
Sorry to see R'amona go. I thought he had some interesting ideas and I would have liked to see what he would produce in future challenges.
As always Flipit, your recaps amaze and amuse me. I totally heart you! xoxox
13 of 14 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on September 28, 2009 9:15 AM
I saw some close up pictures of Logan & CH's outfits today.
Logan's has alot more interesting detail and fits Koji like a glove. It's just beautifully constructed.
While CH's top is WAY too shiny and ill-fitting. The cap/cloak is very nice though.
I've decided that while neither should've been in the top and/or bottom, I thought Logan's should've been closer to the top. Possibly over Nickolaus.
14 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 28, 2009 3:55 PM