This week on Project Runway, blue is the new fug.
Nothing personal.
We open in the girls' loft and since there wasn't enough time to go out and buy personalities by the truckload, we are treated to virtually the same conversation these snoozers are having at the beginning of every episode when they're shocked that there's one less cast member. Hey how about starting the day with a round of shots and a game of I Never? This show has quite a bit of talent this year, but it's seriously lacking in the traumatic childhoods department. Gordana Beaverhausen says "Eets grrayte to be so greer widdout R'amona hearre." I don't know what that means but I think it was a diss. She can read craiglist for all I care. I just like to hear her talk.
Juniormintshausen tells us that dees eez lige dee Olympig gamez. Um no. No it's not at all like the Olympic Games, but it would be funny to see what kind of speech Michelle would come up with trying to get PR to shoot in Chicago. She wouldn't have to fly to Copenhagen, she'd just have to threaten these pansies with her giant arms and they'd do whatever she said.
Since all of his roomies have been eliminated and Harvey is too cheap to let anyone have their own room, Straight Guy has to move in with Epperson, Feather Duster and Minnesota. The results are pretty much what you'd expect. Epperson sits around silently refusing to wash his hair while Feather Duster and MN giggle like school girls and wait for Straight Guy to take something off. He looks like he's gonna be super comfortable here.
Come on over, toots! There's an extra seat!
Um no. No thanks. I like to stand. Over here. I like to stand over here. Yum the tap water here is really good, amIright?
Straight Guy is too nice to say that he's scared, dismayed and skeeved out by his new roomies, so instead he awkwardly tells us that he has to get used to their "normal procedures in the morning." HAHA. Masturbate, grease up the hair, and giggle. MN says he likes to sleep late and Feather Duster says he's a cuddler. Then he giggles maniacally. Straight Guy backs out of the room slowly.
Fat Hooker Heidi comes out on the runway looking, well looking like she always does. More gorgeous and genetically gifted than any of us. Does she always wear that giant diamond on her hand? That's worth more than the damn prize money. Qristyl should have knocked her down and taken it on her way out.
You can ween, you can loose. I weel always be reecher dan you. Teeheehee
She tells the designers that today's challenge will be very colorful. Elvis says that it could have something to do with big giant parachutes. Huh? In related news, Elvis still has giant sideburns. Hold her down and shave her, poor thing. If an old hairy woman falls down in a crosswalk, do you just let her die there? No. You wax her face first so she can get run over in peace. It's called generosity.
Tim is waiting for the designers in the work room with some chick named Martine, who is in charge of Macy's International Concepts. Hey I've got a concept for ya. Call Santa crazy, send him to a shrink and then sue his ass. How'd that concept work out for you, MACY'S!? Oh yeah, you're bigger than ever. Never mind. Time to fuck over the Easter Bunny and OWN THE WOOOORLD.
Martine tells them that today's challenge will, in fact, involve colors. More specifically, the color blue. This is all a plug for a Macy's brand called Ink. Or Inc, but I'm going with Ink cuz everything has to be blue. Who cares? Point is, the winner will have their design sold as a holiday dress at Macy's!! MN, all wide eyed and Winnie the Pooh eyebrowed as usual, tells us verbatim what Martine just said. I only point this out because he's wearing a scarf around his wrist and I wanted to show it to you. Attempted suicide? Limp wrist therapy? Fashion? It's a mystery. A really tacky mystery.
Also a mystery: how has this show not yet banned the fauxhawk? LET IT GO!
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Comments (19)
RE: Kenley Bangs looking for her sketch, she was actually looking for her Mood money. I was praying that she wouldn't find it. Would have loved to seen how she could've done a challenge without fabric.
My favorite thing about this season was the commercial for 2012 last night. No Nina, Tim is getting cranky, Heidi is getting stranger, the contestants are weak and boring. Ugh. Could TVGasm buy PR from Lifetime and start all over?
1 of 19 | Posted by K_Lo | Posted on October 2, 2009 2:16 PM
Rosettes & Angela....oh the memories!
2 of 19 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on October 2, 2009 2:39 PM
Thanks, allmighty flip-it!!! So nice to comment while it's still fresh . . . HATE to all of that shite . . . Mah Gawd . . . was it all the worst to date, no, I'm sure it's me and there has been worse, but I didn't like one thing. I'm just not getting the judging. Irinia's dress was just okay for me, and the top Gordy Smoreshausen did was okay, but color wise, ewww. I've only seen INC men's stuff, which I generally like--does that make me tacky? Anyhoo, the rest, except the first CH dress--just ugh!!! What are the rules now, do hems have to be a certain height, or can it be what works best for a body shape, and waists, aren't low riders the rage, and granny pants never . . . and if that's true, why do they keep making so many high waisted things . . . anyone . . . jenna?
I miss Angela, I know I'm crazy, but her Audrey Hepburn dress--the highest priced item auctioned that season--is still one of my all time faves--and I liked her Macy's suit.
Guess it could be worse, Wall mart could be the sponsor . . . .hee
Thanks again Flip!!! Poor Logan, I think it's the seclusion factor with a lack of lust objects for all the girls . . . unless you're into alien shaped head dresses . . .
3 of 19 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 2, 2009 3:28 PM
Flip, you appreciate women over forty who refuse Botox?? That's me!!! :)
Great recap!
4 of 19 | Posted by Clair | Posted on October 2, 2009 3:32 PM
Now I thought MN and Epperson were straight, too. Am I all wrong?
And is this the first instance of Tim the Mentor steering a contestant straight into almost-aufed territory? Cuz those two guys were gushing over their re-imagining pretty hard when he left.
5 of 19 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on October 2, 2009 6:19 PM
@juddfan - no, it's not you. There wasn't anything to like. Poor Minn, not only were his dresses fug, he's got a bad case of the ugly cry. Waahhh.
Flipit, had you just come from the halloween candy isle at Target prior to writing this? Thanks, now I'm jonesing for a Snickers.
6 of 19 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on October 3, 2009 8:19 AM
God, what a crapfest on the runway this week! I liked CH's first dress and that's it. I thought Irina's was just OK; no one with boobs could ever wear it. And what is with that slut muffin dress that she designed for Macy's??? Who's going to wear that thing?
I think the judges totally wanted to chuck out FD along with Kenley Bangs, but oh well. They should stop the stupid immunity thing and just judge each challenge on it's own. I bet they will be gunning for him next time.
7 of 19 | Posted by LindaLC | Posted on October 3, 2009 7:34 PM
What was the deal with Heidi's giant chain t-shirt this week? The kind of thing high-falutin' types like her imagine Macy's shoppers are into?
I'm openly in the Gordana Love camp (while admitting her weakness as a designer), but I thought she bettered some of Irina's plans for the much-maligned 2nd outfit. The buttoned closure looked much more finished than just a tied fabric sash, and I assume that she weighed in against that hideous sequined thing that Irina considered at the waist.
Oh, and P.S., Straight Guy = NOT HOT. Every time everyone falls all over him, I get a serious case of the skeeves.
8 of 19 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on October 3, 2009 9:40 PM
Thanks for the great recap as always, Flip.
Does anyone know if the designers can hear the judges when they're debating? I can't tell if it's just deceptive editing when they show a designer making a face and the voice over is from a judge's slam.
9 of 19 | Posted by briar | Posted on October 4, 2009 2:23 AM
briar - I don't think they can hear. It looks like they are right behind the stage, but I think their "holding tank" is down a hallway or something. I say that because when people win, they have to tell the ones who are offstage.
Thanks for another great recap, Flip!
10 of 19 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 4, 2009 3:46 AM
I'm confused as to why "blue" should be considered so difficult, especially when there are so many shades. I thought the demands "blue" and "works together somehow with your partner's piece" were probably the EASIEST DIRECTIONS EVER. I'm also baffled why most of these contestants can't seem to imagine anything in a print (except for the one striped dress.) Serious lack of imagination.
It's hilarious, though, that these "designers" had so much trouble creating real-world pieces. Apparently they think they can make a living off the "avantgarde" crap they produce.
I laugh everytime I see the head socks. They look just like what we used to put on our afghan hound to keep his ears out of his food and water. It's called a snood.
And now...a toast to women over forty who refuse to use Botox. I am also one...and appreciate the love from you, Flipit :)
11 of 19 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on October 4, 2009 8:45 AM
Oh...one more thing. What's with the love for supposedly-straight-guy? He's just this side of heroin-addict thin...and he looks like he needs a shower (as most of the guys on this show do.) No thanks.
12 of 19 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on October 4, 2009 8:47 AM
MN should have made the baby doll number with the queen/clown collar and a pair of leggings the week they did maternity clothes.
13 of 19 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on October 4, 2009 8:58 AM
memememe: You are right about Epperson being straight, but since he is older, married and nothing special to look at, they don't even mention him as a straight guy, which is slightly amusing. However I never once got the opinion that MN was straight. I think he screams gay, but maybe it's just me.
14 of 19 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on October 4, 2009 12:18 PM
In addition to screaming gay, MN also screams desperate and untalented.
Carol Hannah is starting to look pretty cute. Or maybe that's the reality show equivalent to Stockholm Syndrome?
Irina has her charms too. Elvis will be quite pretty too, once she's out of puberty.
Sometime tells me though that they're just eye-candy thrown in to convince the husbands of Lifetime's hoards of housewives to stay on the couch.
The producers probably didn't realize that the male cast members would be such awful designers.
Hmm. Maybe they're setting up Straight Guy for the win. It's the fashion world equivalent to affirmative action.
15 of 19 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 4, 2009 12:46 PM
the fashion world equivalent to affirmative action? LOLOLLL
thanks for reading you guys. to answer your question, yes there are other straight guy's this season, but i don't buy for a second that mn is straight no matter what anyone says and epperson doesn't count, cuz he's epperson and there's nothing really sexual either way about that dude. besides, there can only be on straight guy per season, otherwise i would have to start coming up with new nicknames. lervs
16 of 19 | Posted by flipit | Posted on October 4, 2009 2:05 PM
If I am able to make the great and all-powerful Flipit LOL, then I am indeed over the rainbow. ;-D
17 of 19 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 4, 2009 11:40 PM
Is it just me or has PR's move to Lifetime made the judges SUPER mean? Were they always so verbally hurtful and maybe it's Lifetime producers' editing of their comments? Heidi was cruel, and by the sound of her comments on next week's episode, she's not changing her tone. I was disgusted by the non-constructive criticism by both her and Kors this week.
18 of 19 | Posted by 82kmara | Posted on October 5, 2009 10:40 AM
If MN's straight, I'm Padma's fetus. Puh-lease.
19 of 19 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 5, 2009 6:14 PM