This week on Project Runway, Minnesota erases half his face, Carol Hannah barfs and talks super slowly, and Irina turns her dog into a hooker coat.
I hope you die.
You too.
Copycat.
You are.
Previously, Heidi discriminated against dimpled knees and Minnesota got back some tears. Today we open with Chunky Monkey Heidi smiling and congratulating the girls for making it to the end, even though two of them would have gone home last week if this were any other season and the judging was done on a case by case basis. The final challenge will be to make a twelve piece line with $9000, as ushe, and yay this is my favorite time of the season because we get to see where these wack jobs came from. I predict Althea's parents will look like the beaver couple from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, Carol Hanna's parents will be named Bobert Redford and Moolia Roberts, and Irina's parents will hide in the bathroom the whole time yelling for Irina to take her dirty American cameras and her slutty t-shirts with short sleeves out of their house and stop shaming them on national TV.
Tim joins Heidi on the runway and talks about how proud he is of them. He seems sincere, but we all read the articles preceding the season where he talked about how mortified he was by the lack of talent the whole time. As they leave, Heidi and Tim do a little dance. I don't think we've ever seen Tim shake his butt before, and since this is in shadows I suspect that they used a body double.
Move this show back to NY before the sun completely obliterates Tim's pasty brain.
On the other hand, the older gayer more educated segment of the population never got their own iPod commercial, so cheers to diversity.
It's time to pack up and gtfo, and Althea tells us that she can't forget how nasty Irina was to her on the runway. So before they leave, she slaps Irina and tells her to learn to be a decent human being in her time off. No. No she doesn't do that at all. She just gets all fake and prays that Irina doesn't come back to her in dreams with a razor claw hand and try to kill her.
Love you! Mean it! I'm totally gonna facebook you! Please stop chasing me in my dreams! XO
As she hails a cab, Irina tells us that she knows the other girls are intimidated by her as well they should be. She's not just bringing out the big guns for the finale, she's bringing a tank and the whole army! Then a cab loses control and comes barreling right at her. Whew. It hit the curb and went over her head. But as she turns around to watch it crash through a building, she trips off the curb and breaks her neck. Call a medic! She's still breathing! In all the excitement, someone spills their slushie and it goes down her throat and she drowns.
You bastardsss!
Ten weeks later, Tim is in some snowy hellhole that promotes working and raising a family. I can't believe the sign didn't scare him away.
Carol Hannah just moved to the burbs to work on her collection. She moved from South Carolina cuz being closer to NYC would make her feel more fabulous, or something. Also, because Charleston has the same welcome sign so she feels right at home. She's moved into her friend's house, and Carol Hannah is one of those rare smart starving artists who has friends who are way richer than her. I should try that some time. Poor friends are lame and it's no fun to stay with them cuz they mostly get their furniture off the street and it smells like pee.
I don't think Carol Hannah's cat is very happy in richer friend's house, cuz it looks like it's ready to pounce and kill someone.
Once Carol Hannah is done showing Tim the special room under the stairs which houses her 18,000 pounds of mascara, she takes him up to the room her collection lives in. There's lots of black in this one, but she went to Duke University and was inspired enough by the architecture to make a couple of really cool pieces. I have a feeling there were a lot of dirty toilets at that place, cuz she's been inspired to make a human toilet brush dress, which is....artistic? Sanitary? I can't look at this thing without imagining the future tiny flecks of poop stuck in it, and it's grossing me out.
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Comments (10)
Was anyone else quietly thrilled that Irina lives in a tiny sad apartment? Or was that just me?
I am not sure why they are always shocked that there is a 13th look. Haven't they done that EVERY season? I would show up to the finale with a couple of sketches of things that would go well with the collection and be easy/quick to put together. If sketches were against the rules, I'd have a mental plan of what to do. Hell, I'd probably even show up with some extra fabric so that I could tie it into some of the other pieces.
Thanks for a great recap, Flip!
1 of 10 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 14, 2009 7:53 AM
I agree with Snootchy Bootches, they ALWAYS have a 13th look. Every Season. Not so shocking. What was shocking was that Gordina Motel6hauasen looked about 10 years younger and almost lost her accent. SG is sooo bow-legged, he looks like a cowboy cartoon charater when he walks. I have my fingers crossed that meana Irina doesn't take home the gold. Black? Everything? I hated her fur piece that she showed Tim and it pissed me off when she kept accusing Althea of copying her again. Please, Please get well Carol Hannah, you should have never gone to Lawn Guyland to make your collection. You rocked it once again Flipit!!
2 of 10 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 14, 2009 8:02 AM
I'm kind of sad that it took so long for this season to air, that the three finalists didn't get to go home and watch it while they were doing their collection. Would have loved to see Althea try and beat Irina down after everything she said about her.
That is always one of my favorite parts, the extra awkwardness of being around people you talked shit about all season then realizing they saw it all and you have to spend two weeks with them. LOL
3 of 10 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on November 14, 2009 3:13 PM
Great recap Flipit! This season seems to have gotten better now - I guess it's just the excitement of seeing who wins. Or maybe the excitement of it finally being over! That's too funny that Tim G. said he was embarrassed by the lack of talent this season. Does anyone have a link for that?
Irina is so evil that it's ridiculous. She did NOT invent the sweater. Knitting needles have existed for a long time you evil bee-yotch. Though now that I've seen her mother, I see why she's like that. She's only a "winner" if she wins this series? How about being proud of her anyway, Mom?
I hope Carol Hannah takes it. From what I've seen, hers is the best collection. Of course it's hard to tell until the shows. I hope she's done puking.
4 of 10 | Posted by LindaLC | Posted on November 14, 2009 7:10 PM
Flip,
The screenshot and caption for "Drielle" made me spit my Pinot Noir all over my computer. I'm still laughing about it 5 minutes later...even though my computer screen looks all Carrie-esque.
Awesome job, as usual. Can't wait for the final recap to this craptastic season.
5 of 10 | Posted by CMY1186 | Posted on November 14, 2009 8:43 PM
Alright... I know this comment is random. Bear with me. :p
When I was in Luxemburg earlier this year, I bought some LUSH products because I was out and there was a store nearby. The label is in French, but the same. Anyway, they put little stickers on them showing a cartoonized face of the person who made the product. I SWEAR that MN made my face cleaner! lol Every time I use it, I can't help but stare at the sticker. I wish I could take a picture of it and post it here to give everyone a laugh, but I don't know how.
6 of 10 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 15, 2009 4:18 AM
If MN would only shave his head, he'd look a lot like Mr. Clean.
Or if he'd shave the stupid beard, he'd look like Dondi.
Oh wait... I know... remember those old toys with the magnet and iron filings that you could use to draw hair or a beard or a mustache on a cartoon face? He's THAT guy.
Oops. Supposed to be talking about this show? Oh right. Well, let's see...hmm...nope. Nothing.
I want CH to win, because she's such a happy chipmunk.
7 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on November 15, 2009 4:01 PM
My favorite part was Tim Gunn's cute "Egads!" expression at the old factory elevator while visiting Althea! Love Tim Gunn, hate this season. Also liked the clever editing to make it seem like CH shot eye daggers at Althea when she chose SG. Whatever happened to "I.HATE.LOGAN" Althea?
8 of 10 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on November 16, 2009 6:24 AM
CMY1186, agreed, that and the apron bit . . . I had a cat sitting on me who became very unsettled at the rumblings beneath her!!! Glad you pulled some stills out Flip, I always find it so hard to zero in on this stuff when it's on racks or being cast about. I also find it harder to judge when not on a body . . .
For me, I liked all three girls better. Irina, with that Dad, I couldn't help but feel bad for her--funny to watch people faking it for the camera, and even when they really try to come off sincere, their sentiments are so not!! (her mom) at least Dad said, "Good Luck"
I didn't know CH was untrained, and there ya go--doesn't even come out till the finale, unless I missed it. Even more reason to despise MN, and sadly, I do . . . I couldn't stand to hear another sound out of his mouth, and I was so sad to see him back. Don't know how I held out while he was on the show, must have been the drinking game . . .
Althea has me as far as concept goes--I couldn't agree more that sci-fi clothes are the coolest, I only hope she can actually pull it off. I know Irina didn't invent the sweater, but one of those stills you grabbed, Flip, of the identical sweater--that ain't Sci-Fi and I would have stayed so far away from anything she had done. Oh well, on the nice scale, she and CH were great!
I saw some interesting things in the shuffle, and have to say I was pleasantly surprised by all three. The T-shirts tho, "vom" I couldn't put it any better than you, Mr. Flip!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
oh yeah, what's with the fur, Irina--it is sooooo OUT!!!! Guess PETA's gonna love you . . .
9 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 16, 2009 10:00 AM
Great 'cap, Flipit!
Irina is so hateful but, having met Mom, you see where she gets it. Hope the all-black collection sinks her. And why was she using other people's T-shirts in her collection anyway? Tim should have called her on it at the home visit, though I like the phone call ten days out in order to make the heffah lose some sleep.
I laughed out loud at the stilted smiles on the final three's faces when their "helpers"/losers came into the workroom. Althea made a mistake not picking Gordana for her assistant, as G's the only one of the three helpers who can sew. MN and Bowlegs will offer useless advice and hollow praise, but consider the source...would you trust either of their opinions of your work?
Wonder if this will be the first finale runway show with no spontaneous audience applause as a particularly striking outfit comes down the runway. Didn't see anything that would widen Kors' tightened eyes, that's for sure.
10 of 10 | Posted by zeebee | Posted on November 19, 2009 6:45 AM