It seems like just yesterday we were all watching Tim Gunn giving Santino advice on the ruffled explosions he called dresses. When I close my eyes I can still see Andrae crying for 5 minutes straight and then running off the runway like a 6 year old who just dropped her ice cream cone. Yes Project Runway 2 may be gone from our television sets but it's not gone from the television sets...of our hearts.
Thankfully BRAVO, deciding to strike while the iron is hot has decided to rush into production the new season of Project Runway 3 to help us through the summer doldrums. So drop the inner tube and the sunscreen, it's time for Project Runway 3: Beyond Thunderdome. Or just Project Runway 3. Or Project Runway 3: Casting Special to be exact.
Yes that's right, the season starts with an hour long casting special. This is one of the unfortunate new developments in the reality show genre. When you get a show that is a hit, producers feel the need to milk their initial popularity by adding lots of filler so they can sell a whole bunch more commercial time (for a perfect example see the bloated 2 hour Apprentice finale's and/or Survivor reunion specials). Now if it was me I would stick to what works, or "dance with the lady that brung ya" as my poppy used to say (my dad was an okie from the blackfoot hill's of Montana, or wherever the blackfoot hill's are. I was never much fer fancy book learnin'.) and just get right to the show. But the preshow, like the main show itself, is a cut above the rest. And since all of us savvy readers have TiVo's they can do whatever they want.
As the preview show opens we hear the dulcet tones of one Mr. Tim Gunn, my gay alter ego. Or he would be my gay alter ego if I had a sense of style, fashion and joie de vivre. No wait, forget the joie de vivre. I got bucket loads of that. It's je ne sais quoi that I lack. Tim is describing the rules of the game. Each contestant will show their portfolio, three pieces and fill out a 20 page questionnaire. Next we hear some quick clips of contestants as they go before the judges. Some pitches are kind of eh, like the guy who says "I want you to know, I really want it." Gee really? And some are more creative, like the woman with the thick German accent who says "Literally of you give me a sheep I can give you a sweater." God how awesome would it be of one of Tim's eccentricities is bringing a sheep with him wherever he goes? He'd be all like "There, bitch. Make me an Afghan". And what would she do? I mean, would she use the sheep's entrails as accessories? What about the skeleton? You could probably make a hat out of that. Ah well, it didn't happen, so the fantasies of sheep mutilation will have to remain just that. A hot, erotic fantasy.
Tim then tells us that if the person makes it past the first round, they have to give a personal bio video. This is where the producers step in and decide whose more "television worthy". Kind of like how Trump steps in and makes sure half the contestants on his reality show have double D breasts (the man knows what sells). After that its phase 3 where Tim brings in Michael Kors and the faaabulous Nina Garcia to go over the contestants.
On the first leg of the trip Tim is helped along by the one and only Santino. And Tim doesn't seem to thrilled about it. Santino then tells us how much his life has changed. Actresses all want to wear his designs. People call out his name on the streets. He was finally able to afford soap.
14 and a half minutes and counting...
You see, on November 13, Santino was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With no where else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Tim Gunn. Sometime earlier, Tim's partner had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
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Comments (38)
How did a Cardasian and Austin Powers become contestants on this show?
1 of 38 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 13, 2006 1:57 AM
I got my 'cooter'. When I saw the show, with that dress slit up to her uterus, I knew I'd get a cooter in the recap. Thanks, love!
KH
2 of 38 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on July 13, 2006 4:21 AM
I'm with you on Laura's chest. Wouldn't 5 kids give you something up there? I was just staring at her chest the whole time - and she apparently lives in extremely low-cut dresses. She's also an Amazon a-la last year's model Grace. I think she's a dude.
3 of 38 | Posted by pbjunkie
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Posted on July 13, 2006 4:55 AM
The Svan thought Laura was a post-op transsexual.
4 of 38 | Posted by The Svan
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Posted on July 13, 2006 6:06 AM
The guy with the tattoo on his neck is disturbing...
It looks like he has The Bill of Rights written on his adams apple - ick.
hb
5 of 38 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on July 13, 2006 6:48 AM
so glad this show is back! btw did anyone see last season's lupe on gofug?
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/07/fuggalupe.html
6 of 38 | Posted by Leah3t
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:11 AM
What is this world coming to? First, the Chenbot discontinues her use of the phrase: “But first”, and now, the Kluminator stops saying “Yur een”. It’s amazing how effective public blog mocking can be, in changing speech patterns.
It looks like the the Bravo people raided a mental ward to find this crop of contestants. That hooded, tattoo-necked freak thinks he’s Rembrandt, because he designed a few redundant shmatas for some tasteless nouveau riche showbiz types. And what’s with that muscular neck? He reminds me of this guy who used to used to load 50 Lb. bags of water softener salt into my car. He would always carry the bags on his head.
I think there’s a planted ringer in this season’s asylum. Malan, the insufferably pompous man who was born in “tie-whhan”, isn’t just an amateur prick, he’s a professional prick...who just happens to design clothing as a hobby. He makes viewers long for the humble Santino. I’m sure Michael Kors is fantasizing about giving Malan a sound spanking, and putting him in his place.
7 of 38 | Posted by conrad5
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:23 AM
Now I've never had a baby so I can't confirm this but supposedly once you stop breast feeding, your boobs don't just go back to their normal size - they get smaller. Babies literally suck you dry.
Needless to say, Mr. BSideLover is devastated by this.
8 of 38 | Posted by BSL
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:36 AM
My husband's theory on Laura was that maybe she had a mastectomy.
I've only seen Malan for about 30 minutes (I only caught the last part of the show) and already ick. The greasy hair makes me long for the days of smelly santino....
9 of 38 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:47 AM
I am not sure if this has been posted or not, but there is a VERY long interview with the great Tim Gunn in the Chicago Tribune.
I love how honest he is about what a loser Jay is and what an insufferable prick Daniel has turned into. Ah, Tim Gunn, you truly are the greatest.
Enjoy.
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2006/07/talking_with_ti.html
10 of 38 | Posted by TV_Junkie
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:52 AM
God how awesome would it be of one of Tim's eccentricities is bringing a sheep with him wherever he goes? He'd be all like "There, bitch. Make me an Afghan".
Is it wrong that when I read this, in my head I heard it in Tim Gunn's voice? i love this show.
11 of 38 | Posted by tiffgasm
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Posted on July 13, 2006 8:29 AM
Laura scares me. I'm pretty sure her kids know better than to hang their clothes on wire hangers.
Vincent scares me too but in a completely different way. I think he is just bat shit crazy, which makes for good TV.
Nice recap, EdHill. We got cooter and Mike Hunt. Well played.
12 of 38 | Posted by scorpiella
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Posted on July 13, 2006 9:02 AM
Malan might just be the creepiest reality-tv contestant/participant I've seen to date. That look. That weirdly shaped mouth. That laugh. Ugh. He actually has an evil mad-scientist laugh. It's insane. Something of Malan smacks of Harold from Harold and Maude, minus Bud Cort's innate charm. If you thought Stephen was a pretentious buffoon in Top Chef, Malan makes him look like the coolest, most grounded, genuine dude ever. (Stephen, by the way, totally redeemed himself to me as the season went on. Can Malan do the same???)
I'm sure they'll keep Malan around until the final four, just to make us cringe.
13 of 38 | Posted by jfn
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Posted on July 13, 2006 9:24 AM
Yes, having kids and breastfeeding can literally "suck you dry". A lot of women get smaller after they breastfeed. It's pretty standard...
Meanwhile, if someone can tell me who Malan reminds me of in that last picture I'd really appreciate it - It's driving me nuts!
14 of 38 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on July 13, 2006 9:35 AM
What? No Daniel Franco???
Oh, the humanity.
15 of 38 | Posted by subgenre
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Posted on July 13, 2006 9:47 AM
A month away from TVgasm(had to actually work) and I am greeted by being called an unsavy reader- thanks edhill....
How I've missed TIm Gunn! I believe M.Kors referred to Malan as a 'whack-a-doo' I think he is going to be hilarious- fake accents, mascara...brilliant
16 of 38 | Posted by hardly@work
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Posted on July 13, 2006 9:47 AM
i originally thot Vincent reminded me of Rick Moranis, with shades of Woody Allen, but i think the Stephen King ref. is especially apt, given the cukoo factor.
glad 2 hear u all wondered abt Laura's MIA boobies---it seemed that the dresses she designed, while beautiful, seemed to especially accentuate the flat chest---why? certainly not the most flattering look.
not a fan of Tatoo Neck so far. seems like 1 of those just-4-the-hell-of-it kinda pricks.
17 of 38 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on July 13, 2006 10:46 AM
How the hell did that "dress" that was made from the felt underneath a bed and a matress cover avoid getting automatic entrence to the "auf line"? That was HIDEOUS.
18 of 38 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 13, 2006 10:47 AM
JaxMcG, he reminds me a little of that weaselly character Alan Cummings played in Circle of Friends.
19 of 38 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on July 13, 2006 10:53 AM
JaxMcG-
Malan reminded me of Alan Cummings in Circle of Friends, if that helps any. What was with that fake English accent- He was born in Taiwan, and lives in New York- give me a break.
I thought Robert's dress was the best, hands down. I loved his clothes- he's already my pick.
20 of 38 | Posted by derder
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Posted on July 13, 2006 11:20 AM
EdHIl-
Great minds think alike-
21 of 38 | Posted by derder
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Posted on July 13, 2006 11:23 AM
tv_junkie, thanks for that link, that interview was so good!! Tim Gunn ROCKS!!
22 of 38 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on July 13, 2006 11:48 AM
Oh, Tim Gunn, how I missed you!
I was also happy to see Nick (my favorite from last season). Speaking of, I had a nutty idea: Nick is a fashion school teacher in LA, if I am not mistaken. Does anyone know if he teaches at FIDM?
If so, I vote for a CROSSOVER Project Runway/The Hills. LC being all vapid + Nick being all gay=AWESOME!!!!
So far, I'm kinda rooting for the hip-hop Atlanta guy. He seems quiet and genuine, and I thought he should have gotten more credit for the (really cute) coffee filter dress. I mean, that was innovative.
I liked the winner's dress last night, but I thought that either Lara (sp?) with the coat and the Mattel guy with the little red and white dress should have won instead.
Judging from Season 2 and from last night's loser, I'm detecting a pattern: the judges prefer that you make a statement (even if it's weird) rather than play it safe.
Anyway, this is shaping up to be a GREAT season!
23 of 38 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on July 13, 2006 12:52 PM
Oops, I meant either/or...sorry!
Bar exam study=fried brain.
24 of 38 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on July 13, 2006 12:54 PM
Malan's laugh = Krusty The Clown's
This is probably not the right spot, but the coffee filter dress in last night's ep was WAY more innovative than the dress made of bedsheets.
25 of 38 | Posted by spatula
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Posted on July 13, 2006 1:27 PM
"(OK, that was east coast snobby of me. I apologize. At least he she doesn't live in Denver...)"
WTF, EdHill? Why you hating on Denver? What a shitty thing to say.
26 of 38 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on July 13, 2006 3:03 PM
thx, mountain girl. saves me the trouble of having to bust his ballz now.
27 of 38 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on July 13, 2006 3:19 PM
Hip Hop Coffee Filter boy was robbed – he truly had the most creative design of the challenge. His dress should have at least been in the top three – humpf!
My favorite contestant so far is Laura. Who cares that she is a member of the itty bitty titty committee? An architect who mother of five (!), but has never worked professionally as a designer? Interesting back story, great personal style, AND she’s a redhead! What’s not to love?
28 of 38 | Posted by Redhead
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Posted on July 13, 2006 4:33 PM
Thank you buckets and heaps TV_Junkie for that wonderful link to the Tim Gunn interview. Tim Gunn is one of the classiest guys around. I loved hearing about the drama surrounding last season's finale. It was good to know that the pro's felt the same way that many of us did.
29 of 38 | Posted by Lizardqueen
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Posted on July 13, 2006 5:31 PM
Things you need to know about Malan:
1. He resembles a young Eric Bogosian.
2. He's super greasy AND super sophisticated, like the bastard love child of Santino and Andrae. And I had heard they tried and failed! My mistake.
3. He was born in Tokyo. Didn't you hear? Can you imagine? Tokyo! How novel! Who does that? I mean a white who. That's right. Only Malan.
3. C-R-E-E-P-Y. You just know he's making a lady dress in his basement. But it's only a hobby for him and THAT'S why he doesn't deserve to win Project Runway. Hobbies don't count!
4. His name (Malan Breton) is an anagram for "A Bent Normal" and "Nobleman Rat". Both are true. "Nonmetal Bra" is another, which is something he should design for the show. Airport safe!
5. According to his MySpace page, he's single! But ladies, please don't forget. He only wants you for his lady dress.
30 of 38 | Posted by zuulrules
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Posted on July 13, 2006 7:42 PM
mountain_girl, don't worry. I was just raggin on Copygodd. I love all cities.
Except Dubuque Iowa. Those fuckers can kiss my ass.
31 of 38 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on July 13, 2006 8:45 PM
Thanks for the link to the Tim Gunn interview Junkie. Although I didn't get the impression that Tim thought Jay was a loser. I agree that Daniel is a total diva though. In the finale, he was showing off those god-awful purses thinking they were great, when in reality they sucked. And I loved reading what Tim really thought of Chloe's collection. Couches all around.
Its funny that people are ragging on Jay for not getting his collection out there sooner, when Chloe is planning on staying in Houston for chrissakes. I dunno, I hope they both can pull it off.
32 of 38 | Posted by jelodi97
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Posted on July 14, 2006 5:15 AM
I totally think Laura is a tranny, even if she does have 5 kids. She makes Andrea from The Apprentice look like the essence of femininity. But I have to say she has a lot more talent than some of the other people the judges chose.
33 of 38 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on July 14, 2006 7:33 AM
except i don't live in denver! meheheheheheheh!!!!
34 of 38 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on July 14, 2006 8:19 AM
"except i don't live in denver! meheheheheheheh!!!!"
That's the part that threw me. I guess that I'll let it slide this time. ;)
35 of 38 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on July 15, 2006 1:38 AM
i only wish i did live in denver. if you've heard what's going on here in the springs lately, you'd understand why.
36 of 38 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on July 15, 2006 9:48 PM
Malan IS the count from Sesame Street! When he laughs, I can hear the thunder crack!
And, um, maybe I am dumb, but if you are from Taiwan, wouldn't you have a Chinese accent, not a fake British accent?
37 of 38 | Posted by MrsPetersen
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Posted on July 17, 2006 1:08 AM
Is it just me, or was the woman in the VERY low cut outfit (that didn't get past the initial audition) the same woman who danced last on the audition shows of So You Think You Can Dance? The one with the sweat stained pits in the grey leotard, and Mary Murphy's comment was that she was being attacked by bees?
38 of 38 | Posted by reggaefan
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Posted on July 28, 2006 1:47 PM