We open upon a dramatically color-corrected montage of slow-motion clips of selected body parts of the Pussycat Dolls themselves, their overwhelming success highlighted by the obsessive screams of some generic crowd. The announcer informs us that they've sold over 6 million albums and infiltrated the pop charts with 5 whole singles. Indeed, that would make them an "international phenomenon." We break into a snappy, sexy sequence of the Pussycat Dolls strutting their stuff, touching their hair repeatedly and popping their hips to the infamously catchy beat of "Don't Cha." Now apparently they need one more girl to be yet another Nicole Scherzingsomething backup singer. Which begs the question: why do they need another member? Is this show merely a way to get a new frontwoman while Nicole heads off into the pop sunset with her own career? Or are they simply looking for America's Next Top Stripper? Er, I mean, Burlesque Dancer?

The show begins with the obligatory shot of the round-the-block line of Pussy Hopefuls, and the credits reveal that this program is brought to us by none other than McG, the director/producer behind such gems as "Charlie's Angels", "We Are Marshall" and a slew of stylish music videos by the likes of Smashmouth and Sugar Ray. Hmm. More to come on that note later...

As the announcer wonders aloud who will be freakin' awesome enough to become the next Doll, we're transported into the sparkly world of the opening credit sequence, where some plasticky-looking woman tells us about what it's gonna take to grab this "chance of a lifetime." "If you don't dance like this," she informs us brazenly, "YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!" And back to the regular ol' strip clubs you'll go!

From the beee-utiful Warner Grand Theatre in Los Angeles, who appears as our host but none other than Mark McGrath, he the king of pop music sellouts. I'm shocked, SHOCKED that McGrath has made the leap from Entertainment Tonight host to this top honor.

"Anybody remember that time I walked on the ceiling? Anybody?"

Anyway, he tells us that this group of chicks wouldn't even EXIST without its creator, Robin Antin, the aforementioned plasticky chick. She looks to be the typical Los Angeles lady: long straightened hair, eyebrows that don't move. We're greeted with a slo-mo clip of her from a music video in a "PCD" wifebeater as she nods knowingly to the camera. Classy. Her voiceover informs us of her credentials as a choreographer who's "always been interested in style," which led to the creation of the Pussycat Dolls. What a crazy concept!

Robin tells us the new Doll "has to be sexy" (we see Nicole straddling a chair), "she has to be a good singer" (Nicole singing a slow song), "and she HAS to be the hottest dancer" (Nicole crooning "hot like me" and thrusting her hips at the camera). Huh. I wonder what kind of woman Robin is looking for in this nationwide search.

« Recap: Top Design: The Plight of the Non-Homogenous Socio Economist | | New Year, Old Sidekicks »

Posted in Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll by Guest Columnist at 2:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: ABC Girl on Mar 13, 2007 05:18 PM.

Comments (11)

helen :

great recap. Very funny. But i think you need to add some paragraphs make it easier to read.

1 of 11 | Posted by helen | Posted on March 12, 2007 2:34 PM

Madeyoulaugh :

Helen,

The lack of paragraph breaks was my fault, should be fixed now.

MYL

2 of 11 | Posted by Madeyoulaugh | Posted on March 12, 2007 2:55 PM

MissKatrina :

Great recap! Haven't seen the show, and I probably won't, but if you keep recapping it I'll keep reading it!

3 of 11 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on March 12, 2007 3:39 PM

helen :

yay for paragraphs!

and i can't remember if it was mentioned that Melissa from making the band 3 / danity kane is on this show! my vote would be that the other melissa makes the group.

4 of 11 | Posted by helen | Posted on March 12, 2007 4:08 PM

Ash :

Great recap! I did watch part of this show, although this is the first time I've admitted it, and will definitely keep watching if these funny recaps keep coming!

5 of 11 | Posted by Ash | Posted on March 12, 2007 6:28 PM

PixieGal :

Excellent recap. You should be doing more of them :)

I totally saw that chick from Making the Band 3 but didn't know who she was, i told my roommate she looked like she belonged in Danity Kane, lol.

Oh well, the skanks are out in force and i friggin love this show already

6 of 11 | Posted by PixieGal | Posted on March 12, 2007 11:12 PM

joyfulchicken :

Yay! A clip of the vomiting on YouTube! :-D

7 of 11 | Posted by joyfulchicken | Posted on March 13, 2007 2:38 AM

imara219 :

I'm usually a lurker, but I felt like I had to endorse you. I absolutely loved your recap. Def another B-Side. Hope they keep you on!

8 of 11 | Posted by imara219 | Posted on March 13, 2007 8:07 AM

missjeanbrodie :

Great recap!

It's crazy because it's true--this show makes ANTM seem so very classy, with such realistic standards...

9 of 11 | Posted by missjeanbrodie | Posted on March 13, 2007 4:26 PM

sheloveslennon :

good job! keep up the good work!

10 of 11 | Posted by sheloveslennon | Posted on March 13, 2007 5:06 PM

ABC Girl :

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

This recap was great!

Shows with large groups of bitchy insecure women are my favorite! This show reeks of bitchiness and oozes with the girls'insecurity! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

Keep up the great work!

11 of 11 | Posted by ABC Girl | Posted on March 13, 2007 5:18 PM

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