This week's episode started off with a recap of last week's voluminously vomitous fun and Mark McGrath talked about himself in third-person voiceover. This week the real credit sequence was revealed, introducing The Special Nine, each with her own cute little whiparound to the camera and fierce smile section. Robin warns us that here is where the competition REALLY begins. Here, on the glossy Sunset Strip of Los Angeles, (a.k.a. Pussycat Doll Land).

That's exactly where we open, as the girls move into their new home for the next eight weeks, entering an awesomely screech-worthy house filled with floor-to-ceiling prints of the Pussycat Dolls (strangely, no Janice Dickinsons) and their very own dance studio, which happens to be Anastacia's lifelong dream home. Yes, I remember as a child, I would sit and dream that someday I could inhabit a place decorated with gigantic posters of pop stars. Then, Mark McGrath and I would go out on dates, and we would jump out of pools with our hair perfectly spiky.

Speaking of decoration, this place looks like it was done up by mismatched team on Top Design, complete with olive-colored walls, perfectly matched furniture and pillows, and hot pink faux fur wall bay window insets. They even get leopard print bedspreads, one of which Melissa S. promptly claims by placing her shoe upon. Meanwhile, Melissa R. shows her subtlety and sophistication by claiming her bed via licking the headboard. Mmmm. Headboard.

Before long the girls squealingly find a message for them beside the television. Tyra mail! I mean, Nicole Sherzingshmami mail! Sure enough Nicole has left them an adorable video message, echoing Robin's sentiment about the competition beginning....... NOW! Then some other chicks in the background read from the TelePrompTer. Dunno what they were saying. I was distracted by Nicole's enthusiastic posture.

"Guhhhhhhh"

The girls go to see Robin in the danc studio and she introduces Jessica something-or-other from The Dolls. She gets her very own montage of accomplishments in sassiness. Nicole must have been twitching on the side, wondering where SHE had gone during all of these clips.

Jessica brings all of the girls li'l flowers to "welcome them to the family" and then launches into a spiel about confidence. She reintroduces our favorite song-and-dance team, Mikey and John Beasely, who will help them with their next challenge. What will it be, you ask? Well, dears, Jessica has all the answers. They'll be performing at... the..... PUSSYCAT LOUNGE! Oh my God oh my GOD! The girls gasp so much that I wonder if they're all trying out for a high-school murder mystery dinner theatre.

The groups are announced and in the side notes we're told that Asia is a dancer for the Knicks. Um, excuse me, McG? Why wasn't I informed of this during the VERY FIRST episode? This changes things completely. All kinds of things race through my mind, such as, isn't she the teenage mother? and, I wonder if she's slept with Nate Robinson? Then, WHOA. What if Nate Robinson is her baby's daddy????? Then, why don't they have cheerleaders for the Yankees, dammit?

Sigh. ANYWAY. The rest of the groups are announced, and Sisely complains that as a white girl, she doesn't think she can handle "Pon De Replay." Well guess what sister? It ain't all Green Day covers and Shirley Manson imitating out there. You've stepped into Pussycat Doll Land, so now you'd better step up.

The first group to rehearse is performing "1, 2 Step" and for some reason, they don't play a video clip of THAT fourteen thousand times as an intro. Guess Chiara didn't pay for advertising on the CW. The least they could have done was Photoshop Nicole's head onto Chiara's body. Jaime butchers the notes a few times and after being berated by Eric Dawes and Beasely, complains that it's just because she's been sick and needs a minimum of two days to recover. That bile racing up your throat can really make your songbird voice crack, huh?

Could Jaime and Brittany be more different?

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Posted in Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll by O. Snapp at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: SmartGirl on Mar 27, 2007 12:33 PM.

Comments (10)

angela :

I love melissa s! She did kinda sucky this episode, but I hope she stays. All the comments about sisely being a stoner were priceless. It doesn't even seem like she would want to be in a group like the PCD.

1 of 10 | Posted by angela | Posted on March 14, 2007 10:35 AM

kevintheomanharris :

chelsea is my favorite. she's so cute, and normal. though, it saddens me because I know she wont win. I'm not quite sure who will win...it will most likely be someone who flies under the radar most of the show.

2 of 10 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on March 14, 2007 1:03 PM

g3 :

I couldn't stand Melissa S. on Making the Band. I thought she was too fakely, sugary sweet and something about her rubbed me the wrong way. Seeing her mess up was surprising because, as much as I hate to admit it, she is good. Singing, dancing, looks. It's weird because I realized I somewhat, kind of, a little bit, liked her when I didn't want her to lose.
But then again, maybe it was because she was up against Brittany, who I think should not have even made it to the final 9. There were other girls in there top 18 that were better than her (from what we saw) like the really pretty red head and others whose names I can't remember right now.
Sisily, although I don't think she'll win, provides somewhat of a fresh experience because she is not just pushing her sexuality. Yeah, she's rough around the edges - but maybe that's her appeal?
I definitely think that Anastacia has the competition in the bag. They might as well send everyone else home - unless she screws up majorly. The only other person I would say that may possibly get it is the other Melissa. Doesn't she look like Nicole S.'s little unplasticy sister?

3 of 10 | Posted by g3 | Posted on March 14, 2007 2:53 PM

mieuox :

The person I really can't stand on this show is Mikey. When he appears I know he has nothing good to say about anyone or anything and that's a total drag. On top of that he's ugly, he has a face for radio. I want to put my hand in front of my face to block him of the picture. On top of that he has a bad attitude and he is mean, if you are that ugly you need to smile and be nice, dude you are too ugly to be a beeyotch. He is overly critical in an unnecessarily bitchy way. It's like he's jealous of the young women. Ew, that's being a queen in the bad way and it's just disgusting to look at, worse than roadkill. I want to see Mikey kicked off the show. He's like the evil stepmother only really ugly. Someone please edit this guy out!

4 of 10 | Posted by mieuox | Posted on March 14, 2007 7:58 PM

BaskEtcAse :

Melissa R. cannot win because she looks too much like Nicole. I can't believe that Nicole would allow someone into the band that could be mistaken for her.

5 of 10 | Posted by BaskEtcAse | Posted on March 15, 2007 7:16 AM

g3 :

True, but I was under the impression that Nicole was leaving to start her solo career. What better way to leave the Pussy's than with a lead singer look-alike. Those that don't watch the show would just think that Nicole has an amazing plastic surgeon.

6 of 10 | Posted by g3 | Posted on March 15, 2007 2:16 PM

helen :

I love Melissa R too! I really want her to win. She has a great voice, she's hot, and she seems nice to boot.

Melissa S rubs me the wrong way too! (Gosh I'm amongst friends!) I felt that way when she was on Making the Band 3. She seems like a B*tch.

Oh and there's something about the way that Jaime was throwing up that made we think she was (/is?) bulimic. It was like she was trying to look pretty while she was getting sick.

PS O. Snapp you're doing a great job with these recaps! I actually enjoy reading your blogs, and after bside (sigh) left I didn't think I would enjoy any other writer. =)

7 of 10 | Posted by helen | Posted on March 15, 2007 9:54 PM

helen :

oh and asia's talented but she sounds so (soooooooo) stupid when she talks, I hope she doesn't make it.

8 of 10 | Posted by helen | Posted on March 15, 2007 9:56 PM

IHeartTV :

Good job on the recap.
Wow, kicked out of the PCD competition for being too skanky. That's rough.
I don't have a fave yet... although Mariela has the body I strive for and the moves to boot. But the girl has the deadest eyes. It's kind of creepy. I guess that's what Robin meant when she said no energy. Anywho, if Mariela could quit with the creepy gaze, she'd have my vote.

9 of 10 | Posted by IHeartTV | Posted on March 17, 2007 3:54 AM

SmartGirl:

I am glad I am not the only one who can not stand Melissa S.! She is so stupid and fake, her comments are always "Oh my god, like that's cool" she doesn't have an origional thought in her head. I think it is too bad that Sisily is not the right type for the band. She is a tallented performer, but she is just too intelligent to comply or conform to what the judges want. My vote is for Melissa R. she looks the part and isn't annoying like the other Melissa.

10 of 10 | Posted by SmartGirl | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:33 PM

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