Hello dolls, I am loving The Real Housewives of Atlanta more and more with every passing moment. I am both horrified and adoring at the same time, and what better combo could you ask for in a reality show? So let's see what our gaudy gals are up to this week.
I want a weave! And I want it NOW!
We open NeNe! She's meeting someone named Dwight at a café. And guess what? She's still pissed about being left off the guest list at Sheree's talk of the town party! Thanks girl, I knew you wouldn't let the recap down! Gay bestie Dwight is always there for her and she needed to get it off her chest. Which, by the way, looks fabulous today. Someone's invested in a push-up bra, and I'm sorry is Dwight wearing pearls?
NeNe would have felt a lot better if Sheree had at least made a phone call to apologize for the "oversight", and Dwight points out that there's a lot of jealousy going on between the ladies. He says all they can do is pray for Sheree, and NeNe points out how nice they're being. They drink to being nice, and yes, Dwight is definitely wearing pearls. He's Barbara Bush with a Jheri curl.
Even the dude in the pearls can't stop staring at that rack.
Next up is Lisa, who's rocking Pocahontas braids and bonding with her gorgeous husband, Ed Hartwell. They've been married for two years, and they're best friends. Today, they're golfing together. Lisa asks him what he thought of the party the night before. You know Ed Hartwell could give a crap, but it doesn't seem like Lisa's too tight with any of the other housewives so she's got to have the expository chat with someone.
Lisa points out that when you're having a talk of the town party, you can't be running to the door all the time to deal with people. Hello, NeNe is not just "people". But Ed Hartwell wisely agrees with his ball buster wife. They both agree that "it's crazy", and then Ed Hartwell steers Lisa back to her golf game.
Then we catch up with Kim! She's throwing a birthday party for her daughter Brielle, who's turning eleven, and I am not kidding you, looks seventeen. Down to the blue eye shadow and belted, pink spandex dress. This little peach has fallen less than centimeters from the tree. I wouldn't be surprised if she had her own Big Poppa by the time this six week series was over.
Kim must have forgotten to send this one to school for the first four years.
And Brielle loves the birthday parties her Mom throws for her. Cause Mom is fun, and also she gets presents. Then she tells us her Mom is the "light of her life". Coached much? The other eleven year olds at the party actually look eleven, by the way. Kimmie has hired a party planner so she doesn't have to deal with anything. The event is a slumber party at a five star hotel, a fashion show and dinner at a café.
Brielle starts opening up gifts, and they're nice but they're eleven-year-old appropriate and therefore Brielle doesn't seem too enthused over any of them. She opens a gift of a little pink handbag that looks like what I would think an eleven year old would wear, and pretty much tosses it to the side. A few gifts later, she opens up the next box to find a Louis Vuitton handbag. Which Kim tells us is actually the second one she's received in as many weeks. I am scared for this kid. Brielle also receives a newsboy cap that Kim informs us was bought on the advice of Auntie NeNe.
Kim has invited her bestie (Hello? What about NeNe?), a frumpy looking gal named Cori. She's been Kimmie's best friend for years, they met during Kim's divorce. And she's onboard for the birthday party to keep Kim sane. And by sane, we mean fortified with plenty of wine and cigarettes. The party planner can only do so much.
They won't stop looking at me! Someone intervene!
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Comments (13)
My absolute fav part was when DeShawn askes Marlene is Marlene will value her privacy,,,,,,,will Marlene keep her secrets ect. I think DeShawn forgot she signed a Bravo Contract and is on National TV (as we speak)
1 of 13 | Posted by indychick | Posted on October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
oh my god. my heart totally melted when ed made lisa homemade chicken soup. that was a pretty incredible moment for reality tv.
2 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 23, 2008 1:18 PM
ChickBomb, Jazze Phe is a pretty famous producer... he produced Ciara's whole first album (that's him always screaming "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" on any R&B track). He's rich and I would totally laugh at all his jokes if he got within 5 feet of me.
And if Ed Hartwell ever goes shirtless, I demand a screengrab!
3 of 13 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:18 PM
Ok so far, LOVE this show.
NeNe is by far my favorite, with Kim and Lisa close behind.
Sheree is just insane (note how much Kim and Lisa oogle over their kids and I don't think I've seen Sheree's kids close up yet) and Deshawn is just annoying and has no personality.
I hope after this NeNe gets a Tabatha-style spin-off and she just goes to different dorm rooms and asks to hang plasmas.
4 of 13 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:49 PM
So I googled "DeShawn Snow" just to check if she was actually all over the internet, and the first paragraph of her website is all about how fabulous she is. For example: "We’ve been able to fly to our vacations on a private jet." Her foundation: squeezed into a little sidebar link. Oh DeShawn, you are just so damn generous I can barely stand it.
Also, Lisa and Ed are adorable, and I'm with here4beer on the need for a shirtless screen grab. I'm having to fan myself just thinking about it.
5 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 23, 2008 6:13 PM
I have one pet peeve on the Earth - it is people who mispronaunce words for simple laziness in reading them. My top one I can't stand is 'Aks' instead of 'Ask.
I heard DeShawn say it several time this episode, but when she stopped talking to Sheree and said 'I AKSED her once, and I ain't AKSING no more' I put a fist thru my TV. Now I do not have to watch this crap. Oh depravation!
I am convinced that DaShawn thinks herself the Saint of Atlanta, but she made me laugh histerically when she had that demonstration of how she works with girls who have low self esteem. She just tells them they are 'diamonds' and sends them on their way? What does she need a foundation for to do that? So she can pay herself for the use of her house for the session? That was seriously pathetic. Typical classless upstart with high-class pretentions and nothing to back them up with. But then what do I know, maybe it is different when 'you know you were born for greatness'??
And did you catch it when Kim said she is 29 years old??? And she proudly declared 'I look damn good'. I almost snorted my drink. I thought she was at least 40. Honey, loose the 10 pounds of cake make-up and half the wig, and maybe you will come anywhere near to looking good.
Nene - there are just no words adequate enough to say anything about her.
6 of 13 | Posted by renata | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:53 PM
I LOVE ED HARTWELL.
Not only is he hot, he is so sweet and caring. He doesn't just go down to the kitchen and open up a can of soup. No, he makes it from scratch. AWWWW.
7 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:17 AM
Also, yes, DeShawn's inability to pronounce words correctly is extrememly annoying. Someone that rich and "fancy" should be able to correctly pronounce "ask" and "jewelry" and "specific". It's not hard.
Ne Ne is my favorite and I want to be her bestie and hang out and drink wine with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:30 AM
I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one annoyed by DeShawn's pronunciation of "jewelry." It sounded like she was saying "jury."
9 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 24, 2008 7:48 AM
LAjane, I thought that was pronounspelled "Jewry"? LOL.
Fabulous recap ChickBomb! I am so loving your grasp of these nouveau-riche bitches and their pretenshuns, it is fabbilus!
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Can I become a ChickGay now?
10 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by ATLChcik | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:06 PM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
12 of 13 | Posted by ATLChick | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:07 PM
Hey love the recaps I gotta say they are the only thing that connects me here in New Zealand to the american reality tv I used to LOVE when I lived in Phoenix! (many a good day hungover on the couch watching bravo haha)
I wish I could be there for this show but the recaps are great so it's all good...
Hey just a suggestion for Bravo... the real housewives of Scottsdale! that place is literally new money on roids!
And the housewives can be married to such professionals as UFC fighters, tanning salon moguls, Hummer dealership owners etc haha
13 of 13 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 24, 2008 5:32 PM