They pile into a huge white stretch Hummer, and the party planner is just now showing up. In the Hummer, Kimmie's slurping from a red Solo cup, and we all know what that means - good call on the wine thing. They start playing rap music in the Hummer, and what's more hilarious that a white lady with twenty pounds of weave doing some kind of humpty dance? Well, perhaps a white girl in a headband writing the words "humpty dance", but let's just let that one go.
Kim tells us that she embarrasses her daughter, but in a good way, cause she's the "cool Mom". My jaw literally hits the floor while she's saying this, because her red blouse is unbuttoned to her waist, with a black push-up bra prominently peeking out. Actually, peeking isn't even the word, perhaps flaunted out would be more accurate. She's pissed at the party planner for showing up an hour late and not getting emergency contact info for the kids from their parents, but seriously, with a chaperone dressed like this, I think not having given out emergency contact info is the least of these parents' worries. There are cameras you know, if anyone hits their head or chokes on some birthday cake, there will be proof, but when these girls are prancing around in push-up bras and spandex, the argument against Kimmie probably won't hold up in court. That being said, I still totally live for her.
Ho Model
Okay, let's take a breath and catch up with DeShawn. After the shock of Kim's boobs, DeShawn's ridiculous pretentiousness is delightfully refreshing. As is the pineapple that her chef is cutting up for breakfast. She needs a chef to do the cooking so that she can get her boys up and ready for school. It's a real time saver having someone else to do the breakfast for her, "Whereas if I had to do it all myself," she tells us...ummm, you'd be like every other Mom on earth? The horror!
DeShawn tells us that her husband, Eric Snow, is on the road six days out of the week, and during that time, she's basically a single parent. "I have to do everything myself," she whines. Everything besides cooking, cleaning, making the bed, answering the phone and managing her own life. Somebody hand me my violin. Although I will say breakfast at DeShawn's looks delicious. She tells her kids to tuck in their shirts and put on their jackets, and then retires to a perch on the front stairs, clearly exhausted.
Stop crying or the lady who comes to clean the windows is gonna tell the lady that's in charge of organizing your toy box I'm a bad mom.
Then it's time to check in with Sheree. She immediately tells us that Kim is having a party for her daughter, and she wants to go but isn't sure if it's such a great idea after the debacle at door of her party the previous night. And then she makes me really, really jealous because she's got a personal shoe stylist who's come to her house with a ton of shoes. I spy a pair of D&G lace up booties and I literally moan. I am further tortured when the camera pans over Sheree's entire shoe closet, which the shoe stylist tells us includes 1,000 pairs. They are all stunning. I weep for the injustice.
Sheree tells us that she was married to some NFL player, and they've been divorcing for three years. She's reminds us that she's looking for a lump sum settlement. Then we meet one of her kids, Kaleigh. Apparently there might be one or two more, but they don't rate screen time. They're probably not the cute ones.
Sheree tells us that her ex was always detached when it came to the kids, and that's why she wasn't surprised when he left. Then she tells us, "Thank God for the court system" so that her ex is obligated to spend some time with these kids. Followed by Sheree telling us that this affords her some alone time, followed by poor Kaleigh, weighted down with a backpack and a leopard print jacket asking Sheree to come open the car door for her, and Sheree telling her she can't get outside in these shoes. Followed by some more shots of Sheree shoe shopping, and more ChickBomb still sobbing at the injustice.
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Comments (13)
My absolute fav part was when DeShawn askes Marlene is Marlene will value her privacy,,,,,,,will Marlene keep her secrets ect. I think DeShawn forgot she signed a Bravo Contract and is on National TV (as we speak)
1 of 13 | Posted by indychick | Posted on October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
oh my god. my heart totally melted when ed made lisa homemade chicken soup. that was a pretty incredible moment for reality tv.
2 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 23, 2008 1:18 PM
ChickBomb, Jazze Phe is a pretty famous producer... he produced Ciara's whole first album (that's him always screaming "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" on any R&B track). He's rich and I would totally laugh at all his jokes if he got within 5 feet of me.
And if Ed Hartwell ever goes shirtless, I demand a screengrab!
3 of 13 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:18 PM
Ok so far, LOVE this show.
NeNe is by far my favorite, with Kim and Lisa close behind.
Sheree is just insane (note how much Kim and Lisa oogle over their kids and I don't think I've seen Sheree's kids close up yet) and Deshawn is just annoying and has no personality.
I hope after this NeNe gets a Tabatha-style spin-off and she just goes to different dorm rooms and asks to hang plasmas.
4 of 13 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:49 PM
So I googled "DeShawn Snow" just to check if she was actually all over the internet, and the first paragraph of her website is all about how fabulous she is. For example: "We’ve been able to fly to our vacations on a private jet." Her foundation: squeezed into a little sidebar link. Oh DeShawn, you are just so damn generous I can barely stand it.
Also, Lisa and Ed are adorable, and I'm with here4beer on the need for a shirtless screen grab. I'm having to fan myself just thinking about it.
5 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 23, 2008 6:13 PM
I have one pet peeve on the Earth - it is people who mispronaunce words for simple laziness in reading them. My top one I can't stand is 'Aks' instead of 'Ask.
I heard DeShawn say it several time this episode, but when she stopped talking to Sheree and said 'I AKSED her once, and I ain't AKSING no more' I put a fist thru my TV. Now I do not have to watch this crap. Oh depravation!
I am convinced that DaShawn thinks herself the Saint of Atlanta, but she made me laugh histerically when she had that demonstration of how she works with girls who have low self esteem. She just tells them they are 'diamonds' and sends them on their way? What does she need a foundation for to do that? So she can pay herself for the use of her house for the session? That was seriously pathetic. Typical classless upstart with high-class pretentions and nothing to back them up with. But then what do I know, maybe it is different when 'you know you were born for greatness'??
And did you catch it when Kim said she is 29 years old??? And she proudly declared 'I look damn good'. I almost snorted my drink. I thought she was at least 40. Honey, loose the 10 pounds of cake make-up and half the wig, and maybe you will come anywhere near to looking good.
Nene - there are just no words adequate enough to say anything about her.
6 of 13 | Posted by renata | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:53 PM
I LOVE ED HARTWELL.
Not only is he hot, he is so sweet and caring. He doesn't just go down to the kitchen and open up a can of soup. No, he makes it from scratch. AWWWW.
7 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:17 AM
Also, yes, DeShawn's inability to pronounce words correctly is extrememly annoying. Someone that rich and "fancy" should be able to correctly pronounce "ask" and "jewelry" and "specific". It's not hard.
Ne Ne is my favorite and I want to be her bestie and hang out and drink wine with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:30 AM
I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one annoyed by DeShawn's pronunciation of "jewelry." It sounded like she was saying "jury."
9 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 24, 2008 7:48 AM
LAjane, I thought that was pronounspelled "Jewry"? LOL.
Fabulous recap ChickBomb! I am so loving your grasp of these nouveau-riche bitches and their pretenshuns, it is fabbilus!
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Can I become a ChickGay now?
10 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by ATLChcik | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:06 PM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
12 of 13 | Posted by ATLChick | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:07 PM
Hey love the recaps I gotta say they are the only thing that connects me here in New Zealand to the american reality tv I used to LOVE when I lived in Phoenix! (many a good day hungover on the couch watching bravo haha)
I wish I could be there for this show but the recaps are great so it's all good...
Hey just a suggestion for Bravo... the real housewives of Scottsdale! that place is literally new money on roids!
And the housewives can be married to such professionals as UFC fighters, tanning salon moguls, Hummer dealership owners etc haha
13 of 13 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 24, 2008 5:32 PM