Then we see Lisa and her husband, Ed Hartwell. They are seriously the most gorgeous couple ever. Lisa tells us that they own a real estate company, and Ed Hartwell's association with his NFL pals is a big part of the business for them. Today, they're meeting with the builders of a new community of generic, personality-less multi-million dollar homes to pitch their firm. Ed Hartwell opens the doors, and Lisa closes the deal, she tells us. Then they drink wine and eat cute little appetizers.
Brielle's Birthday Tour is at the Hotel InterContinental. The kids are running around, generally acting like kids, and then they sing happy birthday to Brielle, who gets admonished by Kimmie for not acting grateful enough for the birthday song. "Act happy," Kimmie advises, to which her bratty daughter starts hysterically fake laughing. But it doesn't go unnoticed by Kim, who tells us she's worried her kids are going to end up spoiled. Well, perhaps you should chill out on the $18,000 birthday parties then? My eleventh was a modest affair at the Skate 9 Roller Rink, and I didn't exactly turn out grounded. It's not looking good for Brielle.
Then it's time to blame the party planner again. Here comes management at the door looking for a credit card. May-juh production intervention here, dolls. No one's giving you and your party of ten kids a key to a suite without a credit card deposit first. But whatevs, it's the perfect excuse for Mom of the year Kimmie and Suck-Up Cori to abandon their charges and head downstairs to the hotel bar.
I don't trust that gd party planner. She'll watch the kids, right?
Meanwhile, NeNe's over at Clark Atlanta University with her son, Bryson. NeNe wants to give her kids the education and upbringing they need to become strong black men. I just love this about her. Cultural identity is so important, especially for minorities. I think she needs to have a sit down with DeShawn and smack that governess shit out of her.
As NeNe and Bryson cruise the campus, they run into the director of admissions. See, even intellectual types like their fifteen minutes. "This is my son Bryson, make sure he gets in!" NeNe commands. She's excited and overwhelmed, and she also thinks she can be a student there 'cause she looks younger than everyone there. "That's that good moisturizer, girl," she quips to the nerdy looking tour guide.
Then it's time to view the dorm room, and NeNe's monologue continues. "Wow Bryson, this is wonderful! So they have a refrigerator already here? Oh! So we don't have to buy one! Ooooooh! Bryson, are you gonna be able to keep this clean? Cause you aren't that good at cleaning, sweetie. Am I gonna have to pay for a maid service? Mom can come and decorate and put my spin on it! Can you paint the walls another color? Can you hang a plasma? I'm hip, honey, I know a lot of stuff, I can really hook his room up. I like it a lot. But Bryson needs to like it a lot. Bryson honey, can you dust?" Who among us is not in love with NeNe by now?
Oh he's a pig. I'm glad y'all are taking him in cuz I'm over it. Y'all are taking him, right? Right? Right? Right? Right?
You're pretty.
"He can make his own decisions, but he won't be making too many decisions without me," she says with her with her signature hand wave. Poor Bryson stands by looking embarrassed. And I thought I had it bad when ChickDad attired himself head to toe from my college bookstore. Socks and sun-visor included.
Well, it can't be easy to get a word or a thought in edgewise with Mama NeNe, but Bryson seems like one of those strong, silent types. He confidently says that he's made his decision, and this is where he's going to school. "So I did a good job?" NeNe crows. "I guess, but I don't want to admit it," cutie pie Bryson replies teasingly. "You always have to listen to your Mama, cause Mom knows best," NeNe declares. Amen to that. ChickMom knew exactly how to strategically lose those ridiculous school spirit socks in the wash.
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Comments (13)
My absolute fav part was when DeShawn askes Marlene is Marlene will value her privacy,,,,,,,will Marlene keep her secrets ect. I think DeShawn forgot she signed a Bravo Contract and is on National TV (as we speak)
1 of 13 | Posted by indychick | Posted on October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
oh my god. my heart totally melted when ed made lisa homemade chicken soup. that was a pretty incredible moment for reality tv.
2 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 23, 2008 1:18 PM
ChickBomb, Jazze Phe is a pretty famous producer... he produced Ciara's whole first album (that's him always screaming "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" on any R&B track). He's rich and I would totally laugh at all his jokes if he got within 5 feet of me.
And if Ed Hartwell ever goes shirtless, I demand a screengrab!
3 of 13 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:18 PM
Ok so far, LOVE this show.
NeNe is by far my favorite, with Kim and Lisa close behind.
Sheree is just insane (note how much Kim and Lisa oogle over their kids and I don't think I've seen Sheree's kids close up yet) and Deshawn is just annoying and has no personality.
I hope after this NeNe gets a Tabatha-style spin-off and she just goes to different dorm rooms and asks to hang plasmas.
4 of 13 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:49 PM
So I googled "DeShawn Snow" just to check if she was actually all over the internet, and the first paragraph of her website is all about how fabulous she is. For example: "We’ve been able to fly to our vacations on a private jet." Her foundation: squeezed into a little sidebar link. Oh DeShawn, you are just so damn generous I can barely stand it.
Also, Lisa and Ed are adorable, and I'm with here4beer on the need for a shirtless screen grab. I'm having to fan myself just thinking about it.
5 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 23, 2008 6:13 PM
I have one pet peeve on the Earth - it is people who mispronaunce words for simple laziness in reading them. My top one I can't stand is 'Aks' instead of 'Ask.
I heard DeShawn say it several time this episode, but when she stopped talking to Sheree and said 'I AKSED her once, and I ain't AKSING no more' I put a fist thru my TV. Now I do not have to watch this crap. Oh depravation!
I am convinced that DaShawn thinks herself the Saint of Atlanta, but she made me laugh histerically when she had that demonstration of how she works with girls who have low self esteem. She just tells them they are 'diamonds' and sends them on their way? What does she need a foundation for to do that? So she can pay herself for the use of her house for the session? That was seriously pathetic. Typical classless upstart with high-class pretentions and nothing to back them up with. But then what do I know, maybe it is different when 'you know you were born for greatness'??
And did you catch it when Kim said she is 29 years old??? And she proudly declared 'I look damn good'. I almost snorted my drink. I thought she was at least 40. Honey, loose the 10 pounds of cake make-up and half the wig, and maybe you will come anywhere near to looking good.
Nene - there are just no words adequate enough to say anything about her.
6 of 13 | Posted by renata | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:53 PM
I LOVE ED HARTWELL.
Not only is he hot, he is so sweet and caring. He doesn't just go down to the kitchen and open up a can of soup. No, he makes it from scratch. AWWWW.
7 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:17 AM
Also, yes, DeShawn's inability to pronounce words correctly is extrememly annoying. Someone that rich and "fancy" should be able to correctly pronounce "ask" and "jewelry" and "specific". It's not hard.
Ne Ne is my favorite and I want to be her bestie and hang out and drink wine with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:30 AM
I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one annoyed by DeShawn's pronunciation of "jewelry." It sounded like she was saying "jury."
9 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 24, 2008 7:48 AM
LAjane, I thought that was pronounspelled "Jewry"? LOL.
Fabulous recap ChickBomb! I am so loving your grasp of these nouveau-riche bitches and their pretenshuns, it is fabbilus!
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Can I become a ChickGay now?
10 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by ATLChcik | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:06 PM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
12 of 13 | Posted by ATLChick | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:07 PM
Hey love the recaps I gotta say they are the only thing that connects me here in New Zealand to the american reality tv I used to LOVE when I lived in Phoenix! (many a good day hungover on the couch watching bravo haha)
I wish I could be there for this show but the recaps are great so it's all good...
Hey just a suggestion for Bravo... the real housewives of Scottsdale! that place is literally new money on roids!
And the housewives can be married to such professionals as UFC fighters, tanning salon moguls, Hummer dealership owners etc haha
13 of 13 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 24, 2008 5:32 PM