Poor DeShawn is still struggling to find "adequate" staff to help her around the house. Wondering what happened to last week's Lindy and her teeny, tiny glasses? Well, apparently Lindy couldn't verify her previous salary history, couldn't provide any documentation. Scandal in Atlanta. Then we get another big monologue about how super duper busy DeShawn is getting her hair and make-up done, and therefore has to meet the next candidate at home instead of in the office. There's an office?
I just had to walk down the stairs and pick up the phonezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The new candidate is Marlene, and DeShawn reads her a bunch of questions that sound like they came from an Interviewing For Dummies book. DeShawn's putting on all the airs of a "high profile" boss, and Marlene assures her that she protects her boss's interests at all times, whether she agrees with them or not. I wonder what kind of shady stuff Marlene's previous employers were up to.
Next, DeShawn wants to know what Personal Assistant-Elect Marlene knows about her. Well, you're married to a rich NBA player. What's more to know? But it turns out, DeShawn is quite the philanthropist...in her own mind. Apparently, DeShawn's got a foundation. And points for Marlene, who actually knew this. She googled. DeShawn continues carrying on about how everyone wants her but there's just not enough time. Oh, now I see the connection between DeShawn and Sheree. The two most popular girls in Atlanta. Everyone wants them, and they're just too busy getting their hair and make-up done and having shoes delivered to their house.
Were you in Austin Powers yes or no?
Then we catch up with Lisa, who's still wearing her realtor hat. She's showing a house to some fat ass music producer named Jazze Pha? No idea. In her interview, Lisa makes sure to mention that he's a well known music producer, which I'm pretty sure she only learned when they walked through the door to the house and Jazze made sure to mention that he's worked with Mary J. Blige and Chris Brown. She didn't seem to impressed before that.
Lisa tells us she's a very aggressive person. No shit honey, you don't land two rich husbands by sitting on your ass. She loves selling houses and giving people a great deal. This particular house comes at the bargain price of about seven mil. Jazze makes a really dumb joke about how he'll need walkie talkies for the place, which the entire entourage, Lisa included, laugh hysterically over. Big bank accounts make people much, much funnier than they actually are.
Lisa shows off the wine cellar, cause I'm sure the chubby fella in the XXXXXL gingham shirt is a serious connoisseur, and then she shows him the shower with three shower heads. "Three heads are better than one!" Jazze chortles, and the entourage once again nearly passes out laughing. I don't get it. The bon mot, I mean, I totally get why everyone's laughing at the rich dude's "jokes".
Did we mention there's a Burger King in the basement? SOLD!
Lisa self-righteously tells us that while there are corporate people who can also afford expensive homes in Atlanta, and she certainly wouldn't want to exclude them, it's really the athlete and celebrities who have the dough. She's dealt with high profile people before, she tells us knowingly, and they're picky.
Finally we wrap up the pre-fab house tour with a trip to the golf cart garage. Although, shockingly, fat ass Jazze doesn't golf, he's thrilled to drive a golf cart around. Bottom line, he loves the house, and it's sold. Yay, a $200,000 commission for Lisa! Doesn't it just warm the heart to see a money obsessed social climber get such hard earned money?
And then we go back to DeShawn, who's still continuing the epic search for household help. It's the last interview of the day, and what do you know, DeShawn has managed to clear some time off her busy, busy schedule of hair and make-up to get over to the office and conduct the interview. DeShawn doesn't like excuses, and has no patience for incompetence. Interesting, cause I can't believe it's this difficult to find "adequate" staff in this pathetic job market. If DeShawn had to do the job she was hiring for, she'd be totally screwed.
Make what bed? They came put together already. What are you, stupid? Who makes a bed? Buy that shit.
« Grey's Anatomy: The Va-Jay-Jay is worth 1,000 Analogies | Main | Dancing With the Stars: Seriously, Let's Just Give the Trophy to Brooke Burke Already »
Comments (13)
My absolute fav part was when DeShawn askes Marlene is Marlene will value her privacy,,,,,,,will Marlene keep her secrets ect. I think DeShawn forgot she signed a Bravo Contract and is on National TV (as we speak)
1 of 13 | Posted by indychick | Posted on October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
oh my god. my heart totally melted when ed made lisa homemade chicken soup. that was a pretty incredible moment for reality tv.
2 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 23, 2008 1:18 PM
ChickBomb, Jazze Phe is a pretty famous producer... he produced Ciara's whole first album (that's him always screaming "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" on any R&B track). He's rich and I would totally laugh at all his jokes if he got within 5 feet of me.
And if Ed Hartwell ever goes shirtless, I demand a screengrab!
3 of 13 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:18 PM
Ok so far, LOVE this show.
NeNe is by far my favorite, with Kim and Lisa close behind.
Sheree is just insane (note how much Kim and Lisa oogle over their kids and I don't think I've seen Sheree's kids close up yet) and Deshawn is just annoying and has no personality.
I hope after this NeNe gets a Tabatha-style spin-off and she just goes to different dorm rooms and asks to hang plasmas.
4 of 13 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:49 PM
So I googled "DeShawn Snow" just to check if she was actually all over the internet, and the first paragraph of her website is all about how fabulous she is. For example: "We’ve been able to fly to our vacations on a private jet." Her foundation: squeezed into a little sidebar link. Oh DeShawn, you are just so damn generous I can barely stand it.
Also, Lisa and Ed are adorable, and I'm with here4beer on the need for a shirtless screen grab. I'm having to fan myself just thinking about it.
5 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 23, 2008 6:13 PM
I have one pet peeve on the Earth - it is people who mispronaunce words for simple laziness in reading them. My top one I can't stand is 'Aks' instead of 'Ask.
I heard DeShawn say it several time this episode, but when she stopped talking to Sheree and said 'I AKSED her once, and I ain't AKSING no more' I put a fist thru my TV. Now I do not have to watch this crap. Oh depravation!
I am convinced that DaShawn thinks herself the Saint of Atlanta, but she made me laugh histerically when she had that demonstration of how she works with girls who have low self esteem. She just tells them they are 'diamonds' and sends them on their way? What does she need a foundation for to do that? So she can pay herself for the use of her house for the session? That was seriously pathetic. Typical classless upstart with high-class pretentions and nothing to back them up with. But then what do I know, maybe it is different when 'you know you were born for greatness'??
And did you catch it when Kim said she is 29 years old??? And she proudly declared 'I look damn good'. I almost snorted my drink. I thought she was at least 40. Honey, loose the 10 pounds of cake make-up and half the wig, and maybe you will come anywhere near to looking good.
Nene - there are just no words adequate enough to say anything about her.
6 of 13 | Posted by renata | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:53 PM
I LOVE ED HARTWELL.
Not only is he hot, he is so sweet and caring. He doesn't just go down to the kitchen and open up a can of soup. No, he makes it from scratch. AWWWW.
7 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:17 AM
Also, yes, DeShawn's inability to pronounce words correctly is extrememly annoying. Someone that rich and "fancy" should be able to correctly pronounce "ask" and "jewelry" and "specific". It's not hard.
Ne Ne is my favorite and I want to be her bestie and hang out and drink wine with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:30 AM
I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one annoyed by DeShawn's pronunciation of "jewelry." It sounded like she was saying "jury."
9 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 24, 2008 7:48 AM
LAjane, I thought that was pronounspelled "Jewry"? LOL.
Fabulous recap ChickBomb! I am so loving your grasp of these nouveau-riche bitches and their pretenshuns, it is fabbilus!
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Can I become a ChickGay now?
10 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by ATLChcik | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:06 PM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
12 of 13 | Posted by ATLChick | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:07 PM
Hey love the recaps I gotta say they are the only thing that connects me here in New Zealand to the american reality tv I used to LOVE when I lived in Phoenix! (many a good day hungover on the couch watching bravo haha)
I wish I could be there for this show but the recaps are great so it's all good...
Hey just a suggestion for Bravo... the real housewives of Scottsdale! that place is literally new money on roids!
And the housewives can be married to such professionals as UFC fighters, tanning salon moguls, Hummer dealership owners etc haha
13 of 13 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 24, 2008 5:32 PM