Ed Hartwell (I love the name, and that's why I keep calling him that, in case you were wondering) is making her rest. If he doesn't take control, she won't stop. She keeps getting out of bed, and he shuffles her back in. Ed Hartwell is a total hottie, and seems like an awesome husband. Lisa tells us that her past marriage was a growing period, and you can appreciate a good man when he comes around, if you've had one who wasn't so good.
And then, Ed Hartwell makes my heart absolutely melt as he heads downstairs to make her homemade chicken soup. Ed Hartwell's Mom always told him that if you like to eat, you better know how to cook. Then he makes a dumb joke about how he's Chef-Boy-R-"E". Get it? E? Like "Ed Hartwell"? Ed's tackling this flu like it's a war. "We're fighting it, but we're gonna get the best of it," he tells us determinedly. Ed Hartwell and his army of soup chickens. You know what would really beat the flu? Ed Hartwell shirtless with a General's hat. I really think it would work.
And now for the last stop on Brielle's Birthday Tour, and that's Chocolate Pink, another fabulous strip mall locale. They sell cupcakes and candy. Okay then, I officially take back the mean thing I just said about them. They sit down at the cupcake store, and Suck-Up Cori starts playing with Kim's hair. Now we're veering into some downright creepy territory.
No, you can't have my wig. Stop asking.
We are saved from this unsettling moment by the arrival of Queen Sheree. Oh, and DeShawn's there too. The funny part is when Kimmie has to pretty much force Brielle to say hello to Sheree, and the kid's like, "Hi. Is NeNe coming?" Sheree's not all "Whooooo Lord!" fun like NeNe is.
But Kimmie's going to make up for it, because Sheree isn't in the door three seconds before Kim's bringing up what happened the night before (or whenever) at the talk of the town party. She immediately tells Sheree that it wasn't cool. Kimmie really does have NeNe's back! She asks Sheree where she was during the whole brouhaha. "In the wine cellar," Sheree replies matter of factly. Naturally. Where else would a classy broad like Sheree be during her talk of the town party than hiding in the wine cellar doing a dissertation on PR Tiffany's fake eyelashes? Kimmie shares my sentiment, and very obviously rolls her eyes.
Sheree makes some lame excuse about how silly it was for NeNe to have gotten so upset over the simple matter of a name on a list. But Kimmie tells Sheree that it wasn't just about a name on a list, and that the security people were very serious. Sheree's brilliant response is that she doesn't like "random people" in her house, and there were a lot of random people in her house that night. Hate to break it to ya Your Royal Highness , but this completely defies logic. So all the randoms just breezed through the door detail, but someone you actually knew got stopped at the door? I mean, I can't really blame her, we know this was all Bravo's doing anyway, but come on Sheree, work with me here. I want to believe.
Then watch out for the bear in the background with a beard. That's as random as you get.
Then the cake comes up, and it's one of those Mad Hatter cakes that's been on every reality show since The Newlyweds. "Give me a big ass piece," commands the svelte Kim. And then there's a problem. The cake is gross. Should have called Gloria the cake lady. Or, as Kimmie, not as versed in the Atlanta cake game, grumbles, "Should have gone to Publix." Actually, so should have, Publix makes the most delish cakes. Truly, they do. Don't think I didn't pitch a fit over my first one, but another life lesson from ChickMom.
Suck-Up Cori chews on her cake for a few seconds, although I'm really not sure why she's bothering with the charade cause you know she's just going to emphatically agree with Kim anyway, and then big surprise, she emphatically agrees with Kim. Meanwhile, Sheree's on a mission to prove how much classier she is than anyone else by making a big deal to Kim over the fact that the knife they're using to cut the cake is being repeatedly dipped into a cup of dirty water. Water dirtied with the very cake that is being cut. Travesty! At Sheree's there is a fresh glass of water wasted on every, single slice of cake. That's how the fancy folk roll.
« Grey's Anatomy: The Va-Jay-Jay is worth 1,000 Analogies | Main | Dancing With the Stars: Seriously, Let's Just Give the Trophy to Brooke Burke Already »
Comments (13)
My absolute fav part was when DeShawn askes Marlene is Marlene will value her privacy,,,,,,,will Marlene keep her secrets ect. I think DeShawn forgot she signed a Bravo Contract and is on National TV (as we speak)
1 of 13 | Posted by indychick | Posted on October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
oh my god. my heart totally melted when ed made lisa homemade chicken soup. that was a pretty incredible moment for reality tv.
2 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 23, 2008 1:18 PM
ChickBomb, Jazze Phe is a pretty famous producer... he produced Ciara's whole first album (that's him always screaming "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" on any R&B track). He's rich and I would totally laugh at all his jokes if he got within 5 feet of me.
And if Ed Hartwell ever goes shirtless, I demand a screengrab!
3 of 13 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:18 PM
Ok so far, LOVE this show.
NeNe is by far my favorite, with Kim and Lisa close behind.
Sheree is just insane (note how much Kim and Lisa oogle over their kids and I don't think I've seen Sheree's kids close up yet) and Deshawn is just annoying and has no personality.
I hope after this NeNe gets a Tabatha-style spin-off and she just goes to different dorm rooms and asks to hang plasmas.
4 of 13 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 23, 2008 3:49 PM
So I googled "DeShawn Snow" just to check if she was actually all over the internet, and the first paragraph of her website is all about how fabulous she is. For example: "We’ve been able to fly to our vacations on a private jet." Her foundation: squeezed into a little sidebar link. Oh DeShawn, you are just so damn generous I can barely stand it.
Also, Lisa and Ed are adorable, and I'm with here4beer on the need for a shirtless screen grab. I'm having to fan myself just thinking about it.
5 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 23, 2008 6:13 PM
I have one pet peeve on the Earth - it is people who mispronaunce words for simple laziness in reading them. My top one I can't stand is 'Aks' instead of 'Ask.
I heard DeShawn say it several time this episode, but when she stopped talking to Sheree and said 'I AKSED her once, and I ain't AKSING no more' I put a fist thru my TV. Now I do not have to watch this crap. Oh depravation!
I am convinced that DaShawn thinks herself the Saint of Atlanta, but she made me laugh histerically when she had that demonstration of how she works with girls who have low self esteem. She just tells them they are 'diamonds' and sends them on their way? What does she need a foundation for to do that? So she can pay herself for the use of her house for the session? That was seriously pathetic. Typical classless upstart with high-class pretentions and nothing to back them up with. But then what do I know, maybe it is different when 'you know you were born for greatness'??
And did you catch it when Kim said she is 29 years old??? And she proudly declared 'I look damn good'. I almost snorted my drink. I thought she was at least 40. Honey, loose the 10 pounds of cake make-up and half the wig, and maybe you will come anywhere near to looking good.
Nene - there are just no words adequate enough to say anything about her.
6 of 13 | Posted by renata | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:53 PM
I LOVE ED HARTWELL.
Not only is he hot, he is so sweet and caring. He doesn't just go down to the kitchen and open up a can of soup. No, he makes it from scratch. AWWWW.
7 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:17 AM
Also, yes, DeShawn's inability to pronounce words correctly is extrememly annoying. Someone that rich and "fancy" should be able to correctly pronounce "ask" and "jewelry" and "specific". It's not hard.
Ne Ne is my favorite and I want to be her bestie and hang out and drink wine with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by Norwego | Posted on October 24, 2008 6:30 AM
I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one annoyed by DeShawn's pronunciation of "jewelry." It sounded like she was saying "jury."
9 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 24, 2008 7:48 AM
LAjane, I thought that was pronounspelled "Jewry"? LOL.
Fabulous recap ChickBomb! I am so loving your grasp of these nouveau-riche bitches and their pretenshuns, it is fabbilus!
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Can I become a ChickGay now?
10 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by ATLChcik | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:06 PM
Chickbomb: Love your recaps!!
I just had to say I live in Atlanta and although there is tons of nouveau-riche, there is actually alot of classy, old money here- but they'd have nothing to do with this show.
But I love watching it!
I heart Ed!
There's NO way Kimmie is 29, I'm 30 and look way younger than her. She's got to be in her 40's!!!!!
12 of 13 | Posted by ATLChick | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:07 PM
Hey love the recaps I gotta say they are the only thing that connects me here in New Zealand to the american reality tv I used to LOVE when I lived in Phoenix! (many a good day hungover on the couch watching bravo haha)
I wish I could be there for this show but the recaps are great so it's all good...
Hey just a suggestion for Bravo... the real housewives of Scottsdale! that place is literally new money on roids!
And the housewives can be married to such professionals as UFC fighters, tanning salon moguls, Hummer dealership owners etc haha
13 of 13 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 24, 2008 5:32 PM