Welcome back to the Real Housewives of Atlanta! It's the finale, which would normally make me sad, but considering we have the real drama coming in the reunion, I'm able to put off being sentimental about these hos for a week. Orange County just isn't going to do it for me. I'm sorry. So let's meet up with our rhinestone-encrusted peaches one last time...
Hope doesn't pay the mortgage.
We meet at...the Cheesecake Factory. And guess what? I've actually been to this Cheesecake Factory! I had lunch there once. I don't know why, but I'm very excited about this. Anyway, there's Lisa Hartwell, and along comes Kimmie with a Chanel bag the size of a plasma and covered, just smothered in sparkles. "Gimme that bag!" squeals Lisa.
And then Sheree walks up with her manly back on display in a racer-bank tank. They take their seats and Lisa doesn't waste time getting down to business. "So there I am at the sunset barbeque," she begins. As I noted, Lisa did not appreciate being abandoned with NeNe and leftover DeShawn Snow, and now it's time the let the other girls know.
She blames it on DeShawn. "DeShawn took it personal," Lisa informs them. And then it's time for excuses. First Kimmie starts mumbling something about being busy, but she doesn't waste a whole lot of time there before she gets to what she calls "the real deal". Kimmie thinks she's always been supportive, and she's known NeNe for years, but she's too negative. And also, NeNe doesn't support Kim's dream of becoming a country singer. Well, it was a little mean to make up a song about it, but it seems unfair that NeNe's penalized for just saying what everyone else with ears is too polite to say.
'Tardy Pardy
And then it's Sheree's turn to tell why she wasn't at the barbeque, which everyone seems to have forgotten about in favor of the Why We Don't Like NeNe string, and Sheree repeats the rehearsed "NeNe's so negative." She yaps away about loyalty and talking to people, I don't know, I kind of lose her. I come back when Kim, right on schedule, tells Sheree she's beautiful. And then frosts it with "NeNe's a drag queen." Thanks Kimmie, five whole minutes into the episode and no one's told Sheree she's beautiful. I was getting concerned.
Anyway, Lisa's not really having it. Lisa's got her eye on Season Two. So she makes Sheree and Kimmie agree to meet up with everyone for dinner and talking. Sounds like a spin-off of Drinks & Dialogue!
DeShawn Snow is playing basketball with her husband Eric. She's talking about how she used to cook for him back in college. She made ramen noodles. He made Hamburger Helper and fishsticks. Then they talk about how Red Lobster was a big deal. We get it, you've come a long way. The Red Lobster thing doesn't make the journey any more graceful.
We didn't even have a basketball. We would just crumple up paper and try to get it in the trash can.
It turns out that Eric Snow has actually had a career ending injury. But the Snows were ready for it, because he was getting ready to retire in a year anyway. I'm sure all this preparation was Eric Snow's doing, there's no way dimwitted DeShawn could have fathomed planning in advance.
So what does Eric Snow want to do, now that the NBA career is over? Well, coincidentally enough, cause there just happens to be a cable television crew filming this...Eric Snow wants to get into broadcasting! Coaching is briefly mentioned, but that's a year round thing. DeShawn mentions that she might try working. ""Maybe I'll bring home the bacon and you can fry it!" she chirps. That's funny, but not as funny as the idea of DeShawn supporting the Snows.
When have you ever fried bacon?
And speaking of important issues, like supporting your family, there's Kimmie puffing away and making a list for the nanny. Sorry, nanny/personal assistant. Everything from Gucci needs to go back. She hated all of it. She also tells us she bought a bunch of evening gowns. "I felt important, so I bought a bunch of evening gowns," she explains. And then Dallas Austin makes a phone call I'm sure he's been dreading for days.
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Comments (20)
It sucks that I am not able to watch these episodes anymore. :( But I appreciate the recaps to keep me up on what happened to these bitches.
Big Poppa was bound to end things with Kimmie. I figured he would do it after this season started to air though. After all, everyone knows who he is and that he is married. Life can't be easy for him because I bet his wife knows how to google!
1 of 20 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Thanks for the great recap Snootchy Bootches but all's I can think of is-I... CANNOT... WAIT... UNTIL...THE...REUNION... SHOW !!!
2 of 20 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on November 24, 2008 9:06 AM
Great recap as always! Loved it! This episode seemed to end pretty peacefully, so what's up with the reunion show? Has Kim faked cancer since the show stopped taping? (not that I would put it past her) Everyone seems to be on her case. I guess I'll have to watch and find out!
Did anyone see The Bonnie Hunt Show today? She did a spoof of RHOA where she was Kim. It was scary how a wig and a push up bra transformed her into our Kim. Funny!
3 of 20 | Posted by FruityLoops | Posted on November 24, 2008 10:35 AM
Chickbomb:
Fabulous recap as always. Cannot wait for the reunion show. Wow, give these hags a shot at doing the right thing, and they do not disappoint. They remained catty and classless to the end. Except for NeNe. She seems to be the only "Real Housewife" on the show.
I sure hope Kim wears underwear for the reunion show 'cuz it looks like there will be a major throw down.
4 of 20 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 24, 2008 10:37 AM
I'm so excited for the reunion! A fake cancer scare, threats of violence, adultery = fantastic entertainment.
Snootchy Bootches - I may be the only one who doesn't know, but who is this Big Poppa?
5 of 20 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on November 24, 2008 1:38 PM
Apparently it is a guy named Lee Najjir who is a big time real estate developer in the South. He does all of those shopping outlet malls down there. He is apparently well known in the entertainment circles also and his son is affiliated somehow with The Hills, but I don't recall how.
6 of 20 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 24, 2008 2:24 PM
Fruity Loops, doesn't Kim say somethiing about Lisa's kids? Isn't that what starts it?
7 of 20 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 24, 2008 7:13 PM
Chickbomb! great recap (I especially loved your Kim caption at the end). Can't wait for tonight's reunion!! I also heard the same as Pixierelated, that Lisa snapped on Kim (and may have even slapped her!) because Kim supposedly told the media that Lisa doesn't have custody of her older kids due to alleged drug use.
Also, I hope Kim is not explaining her weave away as a result of cancer....I recently saw a clip of Kim at age 24 on that old show, Hot or not (i forget what it was called) but there she was, our Kimmie, weaved and apparently Botoxed as ever. Where does she get her $$$, anyway? Maybe it's her divorce settlement. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she and granny panty-loving Big Poppa have called it quits (maybe that's why we stopped seeing that Escalade?) Maybe all this publicity finally got to his wife. They only dated 7 months, that surprised me more than anything--from the way Kim talked about him, I got the impression that they dated longer than that.
I enjoyed this season more than I thought I would have, I will miss Nene! This season really did have some good dudes, they were all pretty cool right?
OK, onto the Reunion!!
PS---in that shot of DeShawn & Eric shooting hoops, what is up w/ her shirt, it's only got one sleeve (check out her left arm)? Weird style, just wondered if anyone else noticed that, it was bugging me, like she ripped it off.
8 of 20 | Posted by tati | Posted on November 25, 2008 7:58 AM
Just wanted to say how much I enjoy your recaps! They rock and I always agree with your thoughts on these diamond-encrusted peaches!
9 of 20 | Posted by jocelynd99 | Posted on November 25, 2008 8:44 AM
"They only dated 7 months, that surprised me more than anything--from the way Kim talked about him, I got the impression that they dated longer than that."
Remember this is Kim. She looks to have had and from what Lisa says in the Reunion episode a habit of spreading her legs to married older men. So odds are she has had several Big Poppas maybe at the same time. This would confuse Kim to no end.
"Weird style, just wondered if anyone else noticed that, it was bugging me, like she ripped it off."
May just have been the camera angle and how she was positioning her arms, oh course the sleeve may have just rolled up from the movements of her.
10 of 20 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on November 25, 2008 8:53 AM
I cannot wait for the reunion tonight either! Here's the scoop as I know it.
1. Kim and Sheree went to a movie set as extras (they were all invited, but only Kim and Sheree went), the movie had Demi Moore in it and Kim told her that Lisa is a cokewhxxe who lost her kids, Demi reported it back to Lisa who then went off on Kim (slapped her) and Kim went and got a lawyer and a restraning order against Lisa.
2. Kim reports that she and big poppa have been together for three years and are engaged. He bought her a 5-carat carnary yellow diamond ring. But now are broken up.
3. Kim says that three years ago she was sick and lost 20 pounds and her hair broke off, and the doctors thought it MIGHT be cancer, but was not. That's why the tacky wig. Smells like bs to me....
11 of 20 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 25, 2008 9:20 AM
Can DeShawn please use some of her money to see a dentist about getting her mouth to open when she talks?? Does anyone else see the resemblance of Sheree to comedian Tommy Davidson?? Go Team NeNe!
12 of 20 | Posted by hello.kitty | Posted on November 25, 2008 12:16 PM
Why does everyone love Nene so much? All she does is spout platitudes and ghetto wisdom with no heart or brains behind it. Also, Gregg seems like a nice-if long suffering-guy, but everytime Nene asks his advice she shuts him down and says she's going to do what she wants.
Too many people mistake loudness and rudeness for personality. Give me a break.
Mind you, I'm not saying she's any worse than the other wives, she just isn't any better.
13 of 20 | Posted by old school dude | Posted on November 25, 2008 1:49 PM
Okay, i live in Atlanta & let me tell you these "ladies" are not even remotely close to being consider the social elite. The restaurant they are in at the beginning of this episode is The Clubhouse at Lenox not the cheesecake factory.
i cannot wait until the reunion tonight!! i too wish Shawnee would open her mouth when she speaks and stop smiling that retarded smile all the time.
Rumor here in the ATL -- Nene doesn't live in the same house as in the show, it was rented for the show; Sheree lives in an apartment; & Kim's big poppa is Lee Najjar -- who is married with a wife named Kim. i kind of feel sorry for her!
14 of 20 | Posted by atlblues | Posted on November 25, 2008 3:33 PM
For all her talk of being "classy", Sheree is guilty of the worst low class bad habit---using "ax" instead of "ask". On one episode, Sheree said about NeNe,"have you SAW her?" The grammar and incorrect word usage of all four of these women are horrifying.
BTW--did anyone catch The Bonnie Hunt show sketch with Neicy Nash as NeNe and Bonnie as Kim?? Hysterical!!
15 of 20 | Posted by NYCJUDE | Posted on November 27, 2008 4:47 AM
Yes, nycjude, I was wondering when someone was going to comment on "have you SAW her?"
Sheree is a mystery to me. After watching the last show and the reunion show, I realized that Sheree just says random stuff and it really doesn't make sense, and she says it with such conviction you think you are missing something.. but nothing is really being said.
16 of 20 | Posted by Neecy | Posted on November 28, 2008 11:13 AM
Yes, NYCJUDE, I was wondering when someone was going to comment on "have you SAW her?" Totally unbelievable that someone who speaks so poorly can consider themselves so classy. Ugghh!!
17 of 20 | Posted by Neecy | Posted on November 28, 2008 11:18 AM
Oh come on people. Why pick on poor old Sheree? None of these over financed-under cultured women have any class. They flaunt their excesses as if buying too much and spending the day in over priced spas somehow makes them important. At the least sign of conflict out come the fists and four letter words. Ladies, you may be common, rude and vulgar, but at least you're really ignorant too!
Bless your hearts.
18 of 20 | Posted by old school dude | Posted on November 29, 2008 12:43 PM
REUNION?????? CHICKBOMB, REUNION???? are you going to bless us with a re-cap? please and thank you if you. your recaps this season have been damn right funny and spot on in its snarky observations. can you give this addict one more fix with the reunion re-cap?
i hope you had some happy flying trips during the thanksgiving holiday. no too many cranky customers pissing off the chickbomb.
19 of 20 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 29, 2008 1:19 PM
D_Bomb, I've been a fan since I googled HWOA and happened on your page, however; you're getting close to looking like a bigot. I don't mind it when you quote the housewives' actual language mishaps but when you make up your own I am reminded of Jack Nicholson's characater in As Good As It Gets doing his versiona of Amos or Andy when talking to Cuba Gooding's character; he says something about MO-lasses. I giggled at that scene btw, so I do have a sense of humor.
Neecy: It would seem that if one intends to make a big deal out of another's poor language skills, that one might want to make sure their own is without fault. In post #17 you write, "Totally unbelievable that someone who speaks so poorly can consider themselves so classy." I don't know what it's called, but if the words someone and themselves are referring to the same subject, their quantity should be in agreement; in other words, both should be singular or plural. Someone is singular, themselves is plural. It is a common mistake. Also, if we are nitpicking, That sentence should have started with the words It is or the contraction, it's.
NYCdude: Your grammar and word usuage is almost perfect but don't throw anymore stones, k? I have a friend of 25 years who grew up on Long Island who uses ax instead of ask and I tease her about it from time to time but we both accept that it as a colloquialism and laugh. I'm not using perfect grammar here due to time restraints. As good as I am, I accept that when I'm speaking casually, I use slang and colloquialisms and poor grammar because it is so widely accepted. Face it, Americans need to take a refresher course in grammar and pronounciation. It seems to me you white people couldn't wait to nitpick and fault find these black housewives. Give yourselves a refresher and tune in to the loud, brassy, declasse HWOOC. The white women waste tons on money on plastic surgery in addition to all the ways the black hws wasted money. I didn't know about this site until atl but I bet none of you went on and on about how declasse and prone to poor grammar the white housewives are. Don't get me started on the New Yorkers, pretentious bitches all. Mmmkay?
I'm still a fan, chickbomb bc ur as real as a culturally clueless uppity bitch can be (and u admitted it from the beginning)which is why i let ur name inspire mine. I'll be watching you. Love, Joni
20 of 20 | Posted by D_Bomb | Posted on December 8, 2008 11:32 PM