And there's Kimmie with the cigarette. "No smoking in the house!" her eleven-going-on-forty year old daughter Brielle tells her. Then she gets on Kim about all the second hand smoke. Then she lists reasons why Kim should quit smoking, like family and health and yellow stains on your teeth. But all these reasons pale in comparison with what Kim's got, and that's her voice. "It's my God given talent, and I'm destroying it," she laments. My mind drifts back to the disaster in the studio. Actually, more cigarettes might only help the situation. I really don't see how they could make it worse.
But even the fear of ruining God's gift isn't enough for Kimmie to quit smoking. She wants to know what her kids will do for her. The older one offers to stop sleeping in her bed. Kimmie, sensing the oncoming shitstorm, deadpans to the camera, "Both my girls sleep with me. That's just something I messed up on back in the day." Done. Kim's unapologetic smoking, wine IV and, at best, lazy child rearing is actually kind of refreshing.
So the family Kimmie has a deal, and the two little kids start gleefully throwing away cigarette packs, which are kept in the fridge. Why? Is tobacco yummier frozen? "Say goodbye to the open pack!" the older girl cackles. I wonder how long smoke-free Kimmie will last. In my estimation, anything over ten minutes would be an accomplishment.
She'll be smoking her own weave within the hour.
Then it's time for Ed Hartwell's surprise birthday party! And now, Sheree has the fancy, glittery purse from the Cheesecake Factory! It's the Sisterhood of the Traveling Sparkly Chanel Logos. Ed Hartwell doesn't really seem that surprised, to be honest with you. Maybe he is all in Lisa's computer. Lisa makes a toast to her "wonderful husband", fills the crowd in on the Oakland thing, and then moves on to the real issue of the party, which is that NeNe and Sheree aren't even looking at each other.
NeNe tells us that the problem is Sheree has a wall up. And NeNe doesn't like that. She doesn't have "tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime" for that. For her part, Sheree tells us that she ignores ignorant people, which is why she's ignoring NeNe. Sheree is as articulate as she is fashionable. And then Sheree tells us that Lisa "axed" her if she could take a picture with her and NeNe. Sheree is pretty much horrified, but she agrees to do it.
Please sing the Kim can't sing song.
NeNe's not really onboard either, but if Sheree's doing it, NeNe's not going to back off. "I don't know if I want to take a picture with you bitches," she drawls as she walks into the shot. Sheree simpers back that she doesn't have to. "I sure don't," NeNe snaps back, and then she poses.
And then there's a "Thank you, Jesus!" which must mean we're still on NeNe. It's time for Bryson's graduation from high school. Bryson poses in his cap and gown, and NeNe starts the inevitable monologue about how the diploma should have her name on it too. Then we follow them to the car dealership where Bryson's reward for finishing high school is a new car! He likes the Mustang, but NeNe barely breaks monologue to veto it for being too fast. She wants a safe car. He needs reliable transportation, she continues.
They compromise on a big truck sort of thing. Bryson really likes it, and Gregg cheerfully agrees to buy it. Gregg's the best. NeNe tells him to look at it this way, it's so big they can just pack Bryson's stuff in it, and send him on his way. She wraps it up with the trademark speech about Bryson becoming an independent, strong black man. NeNe's always on message. Honestly, kind of a sign of a good Mom.
Feel free to change whenever.
Sheree's cute little girl also has some good school news, she got straight A's! Well done little honey, but unless those grades are delivered with a couple of pairs of expensive shoes, I doubt Mommy's gonna notice. Sorry little girl, life's rough. And sure enough, Sheree gives the kid a quick hug, promises her a trip somewhere (for quality time with Dad, no doubt - Sheree needs her Sheree time, you know), and then reminds them all they're running late for Lisa's peaceful dinner. Sheree reminds us that there's no hatchet to bury with NeNe, because it's just dead. But even though nothing's doing, she'd still rather not sit next to NeNe at dinner.
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Comments (20)
It sucks that I am not able to watch these episodes anymore. :( But I appreciate the recaps to keep me up on what happened to these bitches.
Big Poppa was bound to end things with Kimmie. I figured he would do it after this season started to air though. After all, everyone knows who he is and that he is married. Life can't be easy for him because I bet his wife knows how to google!
1 of 20 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Thanks for the great recap Snootchy Bootches but all's I can think of is-I... CANNOT... WAIT... UNTIL...THE...REUNION... SHOW !!!
2 of 20 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on November 24, 2008 9:06 AM
Great recap as always! Loved it! This episode seemed to end pretty peacefully, so what's up with the reunion show? Has Kim faked cancer since the show stopped taping? (not that I would put it past her) Everyone seems to be on her case. I guess I'll have to watch and find out!
Did anyone see The Bonnie Hunt Show today? She did a spoof of RHOA where she was Kim. It was scary how a wig and a push up bra transformed her into our Kim. Funny!
3 of 20 | Posted by FruityLoops | Posted on November 24, 2008 10:35 AM
Chickbomb:
Fabulous recap as always. Cannot wait for the reunion show. Wow, give these hags a shot at doing the right thing, and they do not disappoint. They remained catty and classless to the end. Except for NeNe. She seems to be the only "Real Housewife" on the show.
I sure hope Kim wears underwear for the reunion show 'cuz it looks like there will be a major throw down.
4 of 20 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 24, 2008 10:37 AM
I'm so excited for the reunion! A fake cancer scare, threats of violence, adultery = fantastic entertainment.
Snootchy Bootches - I may be the only one who doesn't know, but who is this Big Poppa?
5 of 20 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on November 24, 2008 1:38 PM
Apparently it is a guy named Lee Najjir who is a big time real estate developer in the South. He does all of those shopping outlet malls down there. He is apparently well known in the entertainment circles also and his son is affiliated somehow with The Hills, but I don't recall how.
6 of 20 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 24, 2008 2:24 PM
Fruity Loops, doesn't Kim say somethiing about Lisa's kids? Isn't that what starts it?
7 of 20 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 24, 2008 7:13 PM
Chickbomb! great recap (I especially loved your Kim caption at the end). Can't wait for tonight's reunion!! I also heard the same as Pixierelated, that Lisa snapped on Kim (and may have even slapped her!) because Kim supposedly told the media that Lisa doesn't have custody of her older kids due to alleged drug use.
Also, I hope Kim is not explaining her weave away as a result of cancer....I recently saw a clip of Kim at age 24 on that old show, Hot or not (i forget what it was called) but there she was, our Kimmie, weaved and apparently Botoxed as ever. Where does she get her $$$, anyway? Maybe it's her divorce settlement. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she and granny panty-loving Big Poppa have called it quits (maybe that's why we stopped seeing that Escalade?) Maybe all this publicity finally got to his wife. They only dated 7 months, that surprised me more than anything--from the way Kim talked about him, I got the impression that they dated longer than that.
I enjoyed this season more than I thought I would have, I will miss Nene! This season really did have some good dudes, they were all pretty cool right?
OK, onto the Reunion!!
PS---in that shot of DeShawn & Eric shooting hoops, what is up w/ her shirt, it's only got one sleeve (check out her left arm)? Weird style, just wondered if anyone else noticed that, it was bugging me, like she ripped it off.
8 of 20 | Posted by tati | Posted on November 25, 2008 7:58 AM
Just wanted to say how much I enjoy your recaps! They rock and I always agree with your thoughts on these diamond-encrusted peaches!
9 of 20 | Posted by jocelynd99 | Posted on November 25, 2008 8:44 AM
"They only dated 7 months, that surprised me more than anything--from the way Kim talked about him, I got the impression that they dated longer than that."
Remember this is Kim. She looks to have had and from what Lisa says in the Reunion episode a habit of spreading her legs to married older men. So odds are she has had several Big Poppas maybe at the same time. This would confuse Kim to no end.
"Weird style, just wondered if anyone else noticed that, it was bugging me, like she ripped it off."
May just have been the camera angle and how she was positioning her arms, oh course the sleeve may have just rolled up from the movements of her.
10 of 20 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on November 25, 2008 8:53 AM
I cannot wait for the reunion tonight either! Here's the scoop as I know it.
1. Kim and Sheree went to a movie set as extras (they were all invited, but only Kim and Sheree went), the movie had Demi Moore in it and Kim told her that Lisa is a cokewhxxe who lost her kids, Demi reported it back to Lisa who then went off on Kim (slapped her) and Kim went and got a lawyer and a restraning order against Lisa.
2. Kim reports that she and big poppa have been together for three years and are engaged. He bought her a 5-carat carnary yellow diamond ring. But now are broken up.
3. Kim says that three years ago she was sick and lost 20 pounds and her hair broke off, and the doctors thought it MIGHT be cancer, but was not. That's why the tacky wig. Smells like bs to me....
11 of 20 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 25, 2008 9:20 AM
Can DeShawn please use some of her money to see a dentist about getting her mouth to open when she talks?? Does anyone else see the resemblance of Sheree to comedian Tommy Davidson?? Go Team NeNe!
12 of 20 | Posted by hello.kitty | Posted on November 25, 2008 12:16 PM
Why does everyone love Nene so much? All she does is spout platitudes and ghetto wisdom with no heart or brains behind it. Also, Gregg seems like a nice-if long suffering-guy, but everytime Nene asks his advice she shuts him down and says she's going to do what she wants.
Too many people mistake loudness and rudeness for personality. Give me a break.
Mind you, I'm not saying she's any worse than the other wives, she just isn't any better.
13 of 20 | Posted by old school dude | Posted on November 25, 2008 1:49 PM
Okay, i live in Atlanta & let me tell you these "ladies" are not even remotely close to being consider the social elite. The restaurant they are in at the beginning of this episode is The Clubhouse at Lenox not the cheesecake factory.
i cannot wait until the reunion tonight!! i too wish Shawnee would open her mouth when she speaks and stop smiling that retarded smile all the time.
Rumor here in the ATL -- Nene doesn't live in the same house as in the show, it was rented for the show; Sheree lives in an apartment; & Kim's big poppa is Lee Najjar -- who is married with a wife named Kim. i kind of feel sorry for her!
14 of 20 | Posted by atlblues | Posted on November 25, 2008 3:33 PM
For all her talk of being "classy", Sheree is guilty of the worst low class bad habit---using "ax" instead of "ask". On one episode, Sheree said about NeNe,"have you SAW her?" The grammar and incorrect word usage of all four of these women are horrifying.
BTW--did anyone catch The Bonnie Hunt show sketch with Neicy Nash as NeNe and Bonnie as Kim?? Hysterical!!
15 of 20 | Posted by NYCJUDE | Posted on November 27, 2008 4:47 AM
Yes, nycjude, I was wondering when someone was going to comment on "have you SAW her?"
Sheree is a mystery to me. After watching the last show and the reunion show, I realized that Sheree just says random stuff and it really doesn't make sense, and she says it with such conviction you think you are missing something.. but nothing is really being said.
16 of 20 | Posted by Neecy | Posted on November 28, 2008 11:13 AM
Yes, NYCJUDE, I was wondering when someone was going to comment on "have you SAW her?" Totally unbelievable that someone who speaks so poorly can consider themselves so classy. Ugghh!!
17 of 20 | Posted by Neecy | Posted on November 28, 2008 11:18 AM
Oh come on people. Why pick on poor old Sheree? None of these over financed-under cultured women have any class. They flaunt their excesses as if buying too much and spending the day in over priced spas somehow makes them important. At the least sign of conflict out come the fists and four letter words. Ladies, you may be common, rude and vulgar, but at least you're really ignorant too!
Bless your hearts.
18 of 20 | Posted by old school dude | Posted on November 29, 2008 12:43 PM
REUNION?????? CHICKBOMB, REUNION???? are you going to bless us with a re-cap? please and thank you if you. your recaps this season have been damn right funny and spot on in its snarky observations. can you give this addict one more fix with the reunion re-cap?
i hope you had some happy flying trips during the thanksgiving holiday. no too many cranky customers pissing off the chickbomb.
19 of 20 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 29, 2008 1:19 PM
D_Bomb, I've been a fan since I googled HWOA and happened on your page, however; you're getting close to looking like a bigot. I don't mind it when you quote the housewives' actual language mishaps but when you make up your own I am reminded of Jack Nicholson's characater in As Good As It Gets doing his versiona of Amos or Andy when talking to Cuba Gooding's character; he says something about MO-lasses. I giggled at that scene btw, so I do have a sense of humor.
Neecy: It would seem that if one intends to make a big deal out of another's poor language skills, that one might want to make sure their own is without fault. In post #17 you write, "Totally unbelievable that someone who speaks so poorly can consider themselves so classy." I don't know what it's called, but if the words someone and themselves are referring to the same subject, their quantity should be in agreement; in other words, both should be singular or plural. Someone is singular, themselves is plural. It is a common mistake. Also, if we are nitpicking, That sentence should have started with the words It is or the contraction, it's.
NYCdude: Your grammar and word usuage is almost perfect but don't throw anymore stones, k? I have a friend of 25 years who grew up on Long Island who uses ax instead of ask and I tease her about it from time to time but we both accept that it as a colloquialism and laugh. I'm not using perfect grammar here due to time restraints. As good as I am, I accept that when I'm speaking casually, I use slang and colloquialisms and poor grammar because it is so widely accepted. Face it, Americans need to take a refresher course in grammar and pronounciation. It seems to me you white people couldn't wait to nitpick and fault find these black housewives. Give yourselves a refresher and tune in to the loud, brassy, declasse HWOOC. The white women waste tons on money on plastic surgery in addition to all the ways the black hws wasted money. I didn't know about this site until atl but I bet none of you went on and on about how declasse and prone to poor grammar the white housewives are. Don't get me started on the New Yorkers, pretentious bitches all. Mmmkay?
I'm still a fan, chickbomb bc ur as real as a culturally clueless uppity bitch can be (and u admitted it from the beginning)which is why i let ur name inspire mine. I'll be watching you. Love, Joni
20 of 20 | Posted by D_Bomb | Posted on December 8, 2008 11:32 PM