"Way to go, Jarrell," croons Grandpa. "Way to go Jarrell?" NeNe parrots. The girls are dying laughing, and so am I. Kimmie plays the next one. She thinks it has potential. NeNe thinks it sucks. It's called Summer Days, and NeNe's reaction is brilliant. "Kim, we don't even like summer days," she exclaims, "We be sweatin', we like air conditioning! We don't like barbeque, we're on a diet!"
"Don't you want something you can dance to in the club?" NeNe wants to know. No silly, she wants to be Carrie Underwood. That's why she called Dallas Austin. But she did like one of the songs, Kimmie tells us gratefully, and it was the most ridiculous one of all. Tardy For The Party it's called, and no, I'm not making this up.
"Don't be tardy for the party!" NeNe sings and dances around the living room. She tells us it got stuck in her head, and it grew on her. "Tardy for the party!" she sings enthusiastically, "What up, what up!" With NeNe's spin on it, I can definitely see it becoming a huge hit.
When this plays in the club, NeNe will still be the only one dancing. That's a friend, people.
Then they go out to dinner, and yes, Suck-Up manages to tag along too. NeNe throws in the fact that she too sings! "You want to rap?" asks Kim, cause at the end of the day, she's still a white girl. "I don't rap, but I do sing," NeNe snaps back. Then Kimmie suggests that they do a Milli Vanilli thing, with NeNe singing and Kimmie on the cover. Cause she doesn't want to be known by blonde hair and big boobs, remember.
Then the conversation turns to Queen Sheree and her possible participation in DeShawn's "fundraising" event. NeNe never thought she'd do it, cause she doesn't have the personality. Kimmie says she thinks Sheree's beautiful, to which NeNe retorts that she's not a good person. Then Kimmie tells us that Sheree's quiet, and doesn't need to be the center of attention, which I think is the most deluded thing I've ever heard. Until Kim follows it up with the statement that she's the same way.
I dress like I'm thirteen because it's comfortable, ok?
And then we see the beginnings of the rift that will become the oft-previewed scene from next week's episode, when NeNe says that Kim's playing both sides of the fence, and Kim says that NeNe needs to grow up. A Kimmie/NeNe bitchfight? I should be happy, but I'm just heartbroken.
And speaking of the Ice Queen, she's doing lunch with her hairdresser, Lawrence, who tells us that when you look as good as Sheree, you know there's a gay man somewhere in her life. I have Flippy and J-Mo, which should make me the most beautiful girl in the world. Today they're talking pageants - gay, transgender pageants. Which Lawrence is taking her to that night. Whooooo Lord, as NeNe would say. Queen Sheree at a gay, transgender beauty pageant? I have got to see this.
Sheree supports the gay community, charter members of the Sheree, You're Fabulous! fan club, and she thinks the pageant is going to be entertaining. They get to the pageant, and Sheree is in awe of the transgenders' curves. She says she could learn a few things from them. Truly, penises or not, I bet you those pageant dudes are more woman than Sheree will ever be. Although, I am loving, loving, loving her oddly sleeved sweater.
Damn. If you're not feeling insecure right now ladies, you're blind.
And then we're back to NeNe, who's off to Athens, Georgia where she grew up, to meet with another one of her aunts. Not the one who wrote the letter, though. And this part is really sad. NeNe shows her aunt the letter, and then starts sobbing. This is awful. The father that she's known is Curtis, and it would shock her for him to not be her father, she says.
NeNe wants to know, why now? Well, cause you're on TV, babe. "They're jealous," says her aunt. She tells NeNe she thinks the letter is ridiculous, but NeNe thinks that's easy for her today because she knows who her parents are. It's an emotional journey, NeNe tells us, but she wants to know the truth.
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Comments (19)
Did you hear Kim's voice when she was singing along? Yikes! It sounded like a wounded dog... who smokes a lot of cigarettes.
1 of 19 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 25, 2008 8:32 AM
The minute I heard the song title "Tardy for the Party" I knew it would be featured prominently in the recap. I love it!! I actually kind of felt bad for the old guy because everyone was ripping his tunes on national television.
I also liked how we "conveniently" saw DeShawn's check for $15,000 at her church. Something tells me that when people tithe there not supposed to broadcast it.
2 of 19 | Posted by Reesewitherspoon | Posted on October 25, 2008 9:55 AM
i know that you are torn up by ne ne's dad situation. but i can't believe that you didn't remark on the way heart was spelled in the letter- the camera did a quick focus on it. it was spelled haert or hert to that effect. it was good times for me in the moment of ne ne's sadness.
i love how all the women mispronounce words all over the place- way to pick up on that chickbomb. it is good times. jewrly.
3 of 19 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 25, 2008 10:43 AM
Everytime I hear DeShawn and/or Sheree say "AKS" instead of "ask" I die a little inside.
I love how DeShawn is like I LOVE GOD, I GIVE MY CHURCH TONS OF MONEY and then holds a huge gala that she'll write off on her taxes as a charity event for her sham foundation. She can be a big retard all the wants with her fake foundation, but don't make a mockery out of religion.
4 of 19 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 25, 2008 2:15 PM
" love how all the women mispronounce words all over the place- "
It's how a lot of people in the south who happen to be in the ghetto pronounce words.
Shows that marrying into an athlete or a sugar daddy cannot remove the shitstains of the ghetto.
5 of 19 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 25, 2008 5:05 PM
I just can't get over how someone's dying the old left over hooker wardrobe from deadwood bright colours and then selling it to Kim!
Must be laughing all the way to the bank!
Also Sheree looks right at home at a transgender event... NeNe is cool, and Deshawn kind of makes me sick....
Great Recap!
6 of 19 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 25, 2008 5:07 PM
Wordo nthe street is that Big Poppa is Quincy Jones. Which makes absolute sense given the connection to Dallas Austin. Also listen carefully to his voice. Sounds like Quincy to me!!1
7 of 19 | Posted by ify2vn | Posted on October 25, 2008 6:26 PM
And Lisa is having a party of her own, it's called the Make-Up Bar. You basically get your make-up done, and get drunk. Hmmm, perhaps I'd mesh with her too. It's the new hot thing in Atlanta. Can someone please bring this to LA?
Look up the Beauty Bar, they have Martinis and Manicures.
8 of 19 | Posted by jerseygirl | Posted on October 26, 2008 5:17 AM
how come most of the women that are picked for real housewives look like they are transgender? they only ones that didn't were the women from new york. kim looks especially like one.
9 of 19 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on October 26, 2008 7:05 AM
reckless_saturn_11 I believe that these rich women equate giant hair and 3 inches of makeup to class. therefore the more money their husbands have, the more ginormous the hair and horrid the makeup.
(for example, DeShawn is so classy she even has her own hair studio)
10 of 19 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 26, 2008 1:50 PM
Of course I want to know who Big Poppa is, but not as much as I want to know why Kim has a Big Poppa. She doesn't fit the profile, kwim?
11 of 19 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on October 26, 2008 2:46 PM
She has a "big poppa" because she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. You know she works hard for that money, taking care of "little poppa" in ways Mrs. Poppa won't
12 of 19 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on October 27, 2008 8:28 AM
Awww, ChickBomb, you ARE beautiful (and I'm not just saying that because you gave me a shout-out in your recap... I'm saying it because I've met you in person and we had that awesome fight about whether or not Ne-Yo is gay, and now we're bonded forever and ever, m'kay?).
I have to say I totally agree with you when they come with the serious drama... it fucks up the powers of observation through my bitchy-goggles, and I may be a lot of things (fat, hairy, soul-killing day job, spends too much time around drag queens) but I will not rip on someone going through something incredibly painful dealing with paternity, it hits too close to home.
Shereé should stay far, far away from Miss Gay Continental or Miss Gay Entertainer Of The Year... seriously, I thought maybe I had seen her performing earlier this year at the national competition, that mug of hers is hard... I'd kill to be standing nearby when someone would ask her how she tucks her penis away so well...
As for DeShawn, well, if you're going to be helping young girls with their self-esteem problems, what better way to do it than to teach them how to be completely and totally self-centered and shallow? It's only people who pay attention to others and think below the surface level who have self-esteem problems...
Love to you ChickBomb, keep up your awesome work... I'm totally thinking about watching this episode the next time it comes on Bravo...
love & huggles,
xoxoxo
J-Mo :)
P.S. Doesn't it change the whole title when I add just one little apostrophe to 'tardy To The Party? LOL!
13 of 19 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 27, 2008 9:54 AM
This was a sad one! I felt so bad for NeNe. I wanted to reach through the TV and give her a big hug.
Notice how Kim is going on and on about making an album, but she won't sing for the camera? Not once did we get to hear her sing. Hmm....
14 of 19 | Posted by norwego | Posted on October 27, 2008 11:34 AM
chickbomb, i heart your recaps oh so much. and i love nene, the world cannot get enough nene.
j-mo, i was totally thinking the exact same thing about 'tardy to the party. every time i read it i could only think of the *other* kind of tardy!!!
xoxox
15 of 19 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 27, 2008 12:25 PM
Love the recap ChickBomb but you glossed over the best part sweetie. Not only did NeNe say "We gon' start this bitch off a $2.00" she then went on to do a mock auction saying "you got 2.00, I want 2.00, this bitch 2.00" O, where do I nominate NeNe for our next National Treasure. A democratic ticket with NeNe and ChickBomb, and Gregg as the Secretary of Awesome..I tear up at the thought
16 of 19 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on October 27, 2008 1:59 PM
Hey chickbomb,
I'm still really confused about this whole 'weave' thing, im still a little hazy about what they are and how they work (id never even heard of them till I went to the states haha), would you be able to maybe point out next recap with a sweet ms paint arrow on a picture of Kim where her real hair ends and the weave begins? Im perplexed and intrigued!
Cheers!
Sam
17 of 19 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 27, 2008 7:48 PM
The whole time i was hearing Tardy for the Party I seriously thought it was 'Tardy for the Party. It wasn't until I read the recap that I realized it wasn't meant that way.
18 of 19 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on October 28, 2008 9:13 AM
I about spit my wine all over the TV when Kim announced that she's 29. Honey, you are at least 40, don't kid yourself.
Also, did anyone else notice the HUGE sweat stains sported by Sheree's hairdresser? It was like one of those Sure/Unsure commercials from back in the day.
19 of 19 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 28, 2008 1:06 PM