Back to boring DeShawn. She's playing with her kids, and then she's getting ready for the talk of the town party too! Her personal stylist is an Asian girl with a funky, leopard print, porkpie hat. So, it looks like we've got all our stylist bases covered, a hip black girl for Sheree, tacky gay dude for Kimmie and now DeShawn's rounding it out with the funky Asian chick.
DeShawn's got handbags being shipped in from New York, amongst repeated assurances from Funky Asian Stylist that they're all one of a kind. Which should ensure that worlds will collide with Sheree, who had been assured by the girl in the store where she was shopping earlier that all her handbags were one of a kind originals. DeShawn calls NeNe to find out what to wear. Well, it's a big event, NeNe tells her. NeNe is decked out with fabulous shoes, nice legs and the droopiest double D's ever. NeNe needs a breast lift.
Just saying.
Lisa, naturally, is her own stylist. She accurately informs us that you don't dress for the guys, you dress for the women. It looks like she might be wearing a fur vest with jeans. I had Candace Bushnell on a flight once, and she wore a fur vest with jeans and drank only champagne the entire way from LA to New York. I have nothing but respect for this ensemble. Lisa reminds us that she and her husband are a power couple. And that they love being a power couple. It would seem slightly more authentic if she stopped repeating what a power couple they are. You don't see Kimora and Russell carrying on like this. They just...are. Or, I suppose, were. But Lisa and Ed are still pretty damn cute.
Over at Sheree's, everyone's hard at work getting ready for the talk of the town party. Windows are being washed, speakers are being set up, and Tiffany is freaking out because of all the people calling her to get on the much coveted guest list. Sheree is being dolled up by her paid entourage, and she looks...well, old. Ken, Sheree's "creative director" is giving people creative directions to the house, which Sheree keeps arguing with.
Over at Kimmie's, she's prancing down the stairs all ready for party time...but where's the whiney gay guy's dress? What's up with this boring black number? Uncle Noir declares it flattering, which means she's surely going to be changing clothes, right? Oh okay, sure enough, she's going to be picking up the "real dress" post-alteration. She and Whiney will be meeting at the Shell Station for the drop-off. I could not be loving this more. NeNe tells us that she introduced Sheree and Kimmie to each other, covering the unspoken context that therefore, Kim better be on Team NeNe in this battle of the Atlanta divas.
NeNe and Kimmie head out to meet Whiney at the Shell Station, and ChickDad once again opens one eye to point out that even though Kimmie just allegedly purchased a new Escalade, she's now driving a Range Rover. Amateur. I'm going to have to do a master class in reality show magic continuity editing. When they arrive at the Shell Station and take possession of the dress, Kim is faced with the conundrum of where to change into it? Surely not the Shell Station restroom, cause that's not classy. "And I'm so classy," she adds. I'm 99% sure she's being facetious, but with reality, you can just never be sure.
Uh oh. Forgot the Orbit.
Anyway, Kimmie ends up changing in the parking lot of the Shell, infinitely classier than the restroom. NeNe and Whiney barricade themselves around the Range Rover while Kimmie squeezes her ample bod into the new dress. NeNe informs us that there's double D's hanging out. She should talk. Kimmie looks right at the camera and tells us that the dress is now too small and she can't get it over her ass cheek. Nothing but class. Then she tells NeNe and Whiney not to tell anybody about the Shell Station parking lot change that just happens to be being filmed for national television. Mum's the word, babe. By the way, the dress makes her look like a demented hooker dressed up as a slutty school girl. And again, I could not be loving it more.
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Comments (17)
Hey ChickBomb... glad to see you back, and glad you are recapping this bunch... I've missed you.
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. ALT+130 = é So you can put in Shereé's name propa-like, a'ight? :)
1 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 13, 2008 12:44 PM
Kim's dress looked like something i could have bought at Forever 21. if i had no taste.
2 of 17 | Posted by whitney | Posted on October 13, 2008 1:18 PM
I'm a long-time fan, first time poster. Great recap! I was wondering if anyone was going to take on this hot mess!
I live in Atlanta and other than athletes, I don't know of many mainstream big-name celebrities living here besides Jermaine Dupree and Janet Jackson. Tyler Perry lives here too, but I'm not sure he really counts much yet, athough he's getting there. I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, and there are probably some that I'm not familiar with b/c I'm not too in tune with the Rap/R&B scene.
Thought I would also mention that Lisa's "unhappy marriage" was to none other than R&B singer Keith Sweat. Don't think he's had a hit in about 15-20 years, but again, R&B isn't really my thing. I think that was a pretty messy divorce, so I guess Lisa and Sheree have something to bond over.
3 of 17 | Posted by buckrogers | Posted on October 13, 2008 1:37 PM
oh man, I was praying that someone would recap this show.
Every time a new city/season comes on I swear I won't watch it and then I become addicted.
Fab recap, I'll look forward to the rest of the season even more now!
4 of 17 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 13, 2008 4:50 PM
ChickBomb!! Thanks for recapping this show... I think I am in love with Nene already, even though it's only been 1 date. I will keep you posted on our progress.
Also, I think Big Papa could be Arthur Blank- he is ancient, he founded Home Depot and he is a gazillionaire. It could also be Larry King. (lol/gag)
5 of 17 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 13, 2008 5:17 PM
Chickbomb I truly love you. New York Jews I can manage, but Atlanta is way out of my league. That being said, I'm going to love reading these.
Hugs,
Yenta
6 of 17 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 13, 2008 6:01 PM
I live south of Atlanta. I have never been to one of Sheree's talk of the town parties. The last time I went thru Atlanta proper I was flipped off by a homeless guy. Thanks for showing me the humor in these crazy bitches cause when I first watched I was just irritated by them. Thats why I love reading recaps, they usually give me a "different" insight into the shows lol. Great recap chickbomb!
7 of 17 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on October 13, 2008 7:47 PM
Does Sheree remind anyone else of The Lady Chablis from the movie "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil"?
8 of 17 | Posted by schatzi | Posted on October 14, 2008 9:03 AM
LOLOLOL schatzi! Yes she does now that you mention it! Except "The Lady" had more class!
9 of 17 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on October 14, 2008 9:32 AM
These women are ridiculous. Sheree makes me want to kill myself, I will stick up for her though and say that her hair is not a weave, that's all her. Also Kim hair isn't technically a weave either, its a "piece," basically half a wig. The front is her hair while the wig starts a few inches back.
Anyways, besides Sheree I kind of like these women, in a "you don't make me claw my eyeballs out" kind of way. But, we'll see how I feel by the end of the season.
10 of 17 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on October 14, 2008 9:39 AM
Oh my lord, Kim's dress looked like it was from a Scottish pimps & ho's party. I love how none of these women have an ounce of taste.
11 of 17 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:53 AM
ChickBomb, I hate you.
You are SO making me want to watch this show! LOL!!!
(Something that I really don't want to do!)
12 of 17 | Posted by you you you | Posted on October 15, 2008 7:49 AM
The word on the net is that Big Poppa is a guy named Lee Najjar who is a big commercial real estate developer. Apparently, he did all of the big outlet shopping malls in the southeast. And he's married too.
13 of 17 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:21 AM
Chick,
First, thank you for making me smile about this show. I live in Atlanta, and have been nothing but pissed off since watching the first episode! Long story short, these ignant heffas don't represent me or my friends, and certainly not the Atlanta I have come to know and love. But you helped me find the beauty in such ignance! (And, no, I'm not misspelling that!)
Oh, and for the record, none of them actually lives in Atlanta; they all live north of Atlanta in the rich-rich suburbs.
14 of 17 | Posted by MorbidCuriosity | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:21 AM
lollll chickbomb great recap. one more distraction when i should be working...
"I'm not really sure what this means, but I love it so much I've repeated it about eighty times this week." hahahahahaha loooove it.
15 of 17 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 15, 2008 1:28 PM
Wow, after starting watching these tacky nouve rich Atlanta hos I miss the Orange County housewives.
16 of 17 | Posted by wincha | Posted on November 9, 2008 7:14 PM
I spent a 1/3 of my childhood in North ATL suburbs. There are plenty of celebs that live around there, but I don't know if they'd be well-known outside of the black community (we'll call 'em black-famous). Let's put it like this, most black celebs have at least one home in the metro ATL area. And I can't visit family there without running into a celeb, especially at this one particular high-end mall.
17 of 17 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on December 25, 2008 2:51 AM