It's the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunited! I'll tell you right now, cause it's over a week later and I'm sure you're dying of curiosity, we did not see Lisa slap Kimmie. I am terribly disappointed in Bravo. They're losing Project Runway, don't they know they have to do whatever they can to suck in viewers? But whatever, slap or no slap, it was still a pretty eventful reunion.
Not having cancer can really hurt, ok?
We are welcomed to the "historic Imperial Ballroom" in Atlanta. I have no idea either, but it sounds very fancy and our bedazzled peaches of course deserve nothing less. Let's do wardrobe: Sheree's in a grey knit dress that looks quite nice...except for the hole near the collar. Surely it's part of the design, but it puzzles me to no end why there's no hole on the other side of the collar. At one point I think I'm paying more attention to this than to what She by Sheree is saying. She's got a ponytail weave on top of her head, and the hairdo is so shiny and glued together it looks like it was woven out of a Hefty bag.
That hair can hold thirty pounds of trash and not leak.
Kimmie's got a bumblebee look in black pants, black vest and a yellow shirt. Her cheap doll wig cascades in all its glory, and the pancake makeup hasn't much improved. Lisa looks gorgeous in some kind of catsuit, and what might be legwarmers which I'm totally down with. DeShawn also looks pretty in a red dress. NeNe's decked out in purple, and NeNe's got a new wig too! It's short.
And that's the first thing gay ol' Andy Cohen wants to talk about with NeNe, the hair. "New look, new attitude, I love it!" she tells him enthusiastically. He then goes around the group saying introducing everyone, which after NeNe, is pretty uneventful until he gets to Sheree who breathes, "Hi, Andy" like he's called the She by Sheree 1-800 party line.
They took my house! They took my weave! Nothing's sacred!
And then it's time for the grilling, and Kimmie's up first. I would just like to say that throughout this interview, Andy showed definite bias toward NeNe and tried to take Sheree and Kimmie down, and I really appreciated that. I know, Kimmie's kind of my girl, but if she felt forced to choose between NeNe and Sheree, then I feel forced to choose between NeNe and Kimmie (no one chooses Sheree, of course) and bottom line, no one trumps NeNe.
So anyway, Andy's got passionate and pointed questions from the Bravo viewers, and the first one is that people refuse to believe that Kim's twenty-nine years old. She readily agrees that she looks thirty-nine with all the makeup. The concession makes me giggle, cause really, who even thought thirty-nine? I was thinking like forty-five, but whatever. Kimmie thinks she's being a good sport. Then Andy gets on her about how to spell C-A-T and she rolls her eyes and tells us she messed up and whatever, she's human. "C-A-T!" she yells proudly to Andy, but it's not that funny cause I think someone probably had to brief her on it.
At forty seven, I know how to spell khat, thank you very much.
Well, we move off Kimmie for a minute for a deep question about society - one of the viewers wants to know if they feel their portrayal on TV was good or bad for the black community. "For the black community?" Lisa Hartwell snaps back threateningly. Oh, watch your ass, Andy Cohen. Lisa doesn't like the question. But Sheree does. She did feel weight representing the black community. It was a big deal that Bravo finally let African American women do the show, she tells us. It's a lofty speech reminiscent of Halle Berry's rehearsed Oscar moment. Please dear, you're hardly the first black lady on television. Or a reality show, for that matter. Get over yourself.
And NeNe agrees with me, natch. She didn't think about it, she just thought they were doing an African American show and it would be great. And she didn't know there would be this much drama. Well, someone over in the casting department sure did, and they deserve a medal. Andy Cohen brings up that Anderson Cooper loves NeNe, and she tells us that she's not surprised. Then she tells him to call her. Anderson Cooper's so lucky.
Girl, you know he called her.
« Desperate Housewives: When Those Nuts Hit My Tongue, I Knew the Truth! | Main | Pick Up Artist 2: Mel Brooks versus Carl Reiner »
Comments (13)
I think I read that NeNe is 41.
Kimmie, you don't lose your hair from cancer. (That's C-A-N-C-E-R.) You lose it from the chemotherapy used to treat cancer. And it grows back.
Her hair could have been thinning. Probably from excessive bleaching, perming, etc. Either that or it was hereditary, or it could be thyroid or other hormone problems. Another cause is anorexia or bulimia.
Do you remember Dave Chappelle's sketches on his show about "keepin' it real"? NeNe totally reminds me of those!
1 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 4, 2008 8:14 PM
Oh I have been just WAITING for your recap because I really wanted to talk about this whole cancer/wig thing!
pixielated: I was thinking the exact same thing! That you don't lose hair because of cancer but because of the treatment, so how would her thinning hair and weight loss ever be seen as cancer symptoms?!
Did anyone else see the teaser where Kim is crying and says something about how her wig was squeezing her brain? Because I SWEAR I saw that, but then they never played that scene on the actual show.
I think that Lisa might be right that Kim is a pathological liar.
2 of 13 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on December 4, 2008 9:18 PM
Oh I have been just WAITING for your recap because I really wanted to talk about this whole cancer/wig thing!
pixielated: I was thinking the exact same thing! That you don't lose hair because of cancer but because of the treatment, so how would her thinning hair and weight loss ever be seen as cancer symptoms?!
Did anyone else see the teaser where Kim is crying and says something about how her wig was squeezing her brain? Because I SWEAR I saw that, but then they never played that scene on the actual show.
I think that Lisa might be right that Kim is a pathological liar.
Oh and also! Why -- three years later -- would she not have enough hair to be able to lose the wig?
3 of 13 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on December 4, 2008 9:19 PM
that reunion was HILARIOUS. i heard the same thing, mandamo. she accused nene of saying that her wig was squeezing her brain. LOL. i am really gonna miss these chicks. i just read that nene is going to pilot week to shop a sitcom about herself. i am in love. thanks for another great season, chickbomb! xo
4 of 13 | Posted by flipit | Posted on December 4, 2008 10:03 PM
I'm assuming that she really had a problem, and that it still exists, because who in their right mind would want to look like they're wearing Barbie's hair? Of course, maybe she is just so lazy that she likes to just throw it on and go.
Dynel--isn't that what they call it? Like those wigs poor, fabulous Samantha had to wear on SATC.
Doesn't Kimmie, as a mom, remind you of the mom on Married with Children?
5 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 4, 2008 10:38 PM
OMG, I totally agree with you on the host Andy taking Nene's side on everything, which is what I would've done to. I swear Nene could've just went up and hit Kim right in her face and Andy would've been like well that's what you get for picking Sheree over Nene.
This reunion was so funny, although I can't believe Bravo didn't show Lisa slapping Kim. They probably didn't want to show Lisa in that light. Now they would've showed Sheree slapping someone because they don't like her judging from how this reunion was setup.
Anyway, Nene is like my favorite person ever. Nene just says anything, how about next season, it can be called, "Nene and the Housewives of Atlanta."
6 of 13 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on December 4, 2008 10:47 PM
One other obvious lie from Kimmie... remember when she said something about her and Big Poppa probably being engaged soon? The bitch knew he was married and has children! If I was those gals (except Sheree for now), I'd keep Kimmie far far away. Because she might go after one of their husbands next!
7 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on December 5, 2008 4:24 AM
Chickbomb, you've no idea how i've been looking forward to your recap of this show, i could not wait to hear your take on it!! & it was AWESOME!!! Totally hit the nail on the head, on all counts, girl!!
re) Nene as an ex-stripper, i did read that rumor somewhere on the Interwebs a while back, although I don't recall where, so I guess Apple & I are hitting the same sites. (Nene answered cleverly, but she did dodge the question a bit--- methinks there might be a hint of truth there? But really, who cares, it's Nene, we luvs anyway!!)
Also, i read Lisa's blog on Bravo's site & she mentions there how she was angry at Kim b/c of what Kim said about Lisa & her 2 children and that that's where her rage was stemming from. I too wondered about the Slap---my guess is that it happened after this segment was taped b/c i can't imagine any of them sitting down to chat/film after something like that happening, all hunky-dory, la-la, it's all good. No way! but who knows....
Oh & MandaMo, i THINK Kim did say that on the Reunion show (but maybe it was just the teaser) about the weave squeezing her brain---i think that's the part when she referenced Nene from an emotional standpoint, b/c during the season in one of the side interviews, Nene made a comment like, 'I think Kim's weave is squeezing her brain' (explaining y she's all besties w/ Sheree).'
I started out this season liking Kim, but as it progressed, I lost all respect I had for her---the bit about the wig/cancer completely decided it for me. First off, if it's a wig or weave, who cares?? wear it & don't make excuses (especially ones like that, that's so wrong!!) OHHHHH! that reminds me, i saw footage of a clip from when Kim was 24 & appeared on a show (Hot or Not?)---she had the same Barbie hair! So don't go saying you only got that wig 3 yrs ago b/c of possible cancer when you were wearing it way before then. I think some of the other commenters remarks are more on the $ (fallin out due to overbleachin or other problems).
CB, thnx for a great season, I will look forward to your other recaps---cannot wait 2 hear abt the RW Brooklyn gossip! I luv to read the comments, 2, u guys are hilarious!!
PS--DeShawn = yawn. oh yea and Sheree w/ a hole in her dress?? Yup, that's the kind of designer I want to buy from, someone who wears crap like that!
8 of 13 | Posted by tati | Posted on December 5, 2008 9:09 AM
ChickBomb! What an ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY AMAZING show this was!!!! The ChickBF and I were hopping up and down and screaming at the top of our lungs at all the silly stupidity on the screen, it was FABULOUS!!!
Andy Cohen is a devious bitch, and I love him for that, ESPECIALLY when he made sure to point out that KIM NEVER HAD CANCER (and made Kim herself point it out!). I could have cheerfully kicked her in the teeth for tossing that out there like "People should feel sorry for me because I thought I had cancer... you just don't know how rough it really is to think you've got CANCER, y'know?" And to wear tacky porn-wigs, apparently. I think that's what her real tears were about. I would really like an actual cancer-survivor's group to go find her and kick her ass for attempting to use their cause to gain sympathy from viewers for her being a brainless, delusional, talent-free, tacky-ass HO.
Also, kudos to Andy for nailing her with the "Are you still smoking?" question. Pure GENIUS, Andy!
And let her release her album, a zillion bucks says it will all be Auto-Tuned™ anyhow, so she won't really have to have learned how to sing in the first place (and everybody knows, in KimmieWorld, you don't really need to learn how to read music, or sing in tune, or have any talent, you just need lots of hair and boobs and smokes and wine). Sad.
As for Shreweé, I hope she gets a five-figure (or better still, a four-figure) divorce settlement for trying to convince people that she's not really a drag-queen... the woman just is not cute to me, and that "I'm so awesome!" attitude makes her fuglier.
You did such an awesome job of recapping this show, I hope there is a second season, and I hope there will be more fights like these, they were the most interesting thing to watch out of all the Oranges, Apples and other Assorted Fruit-Nuts on Bravo!
love, J-Mo :) (a.k.a. ChickGay)
P.S. We have to get together for drinky-poos in January when me and the ChickBF come out for his B-Day... LOVE!
9 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on December 5, 2008 11:40 AM
Chickbomb: I've inferred that you believe blacks should stop being offended by the Kim's statement about not wanting to eat chicken with NeNe because bar-b-que chicken and blacks are pretty much synonymous. Firstly, it's the way she said it and the shit eating grin she had on her face after saying it, and second, it's so stereotypical white to state that African Americans should stop being offended. I don't know, would any of our steretypes about you, while based in a truth past or present offend you? For instance, you're all descendants of war mongering, Indian killing/raping slave traders? Okay, that was too harsh. How about you're all bigots in private and no black should ever let down their guard and trust or befriend you?
Fried chicken is an all american part of our diets but blacks eating it is a negative stereotype that insinuates that blacks are chicken thieves. The same goes for watermelon. That blacks steal watermelons and sit in the watermelon patch eating it, rinds and all and by being so lazy and stupid as to not take their ill gotten booty to another location get caught, red handed. Hey, maybe that's where the phrase comes from. Blacks eating chicken and watermelon is funny to you. The few times I buy these food items from the store I have to steel up my courage and try not to notice if anyone thinks it's amusing to see me buying them. Still a fan, will read your stuff in the future.
10 of 13 | Posted by D_Bomb | Posted on December 9, 2008 1:30 AM
D-Bomb,
"For instance, you're all descendants of war mongering, Indian killing/raping slave traders?"
Seriously, dude? You want to go there? You seem to infer that Africans were not the same. Well, newsflash, they were. There were wars going on between Africans. There were African tribes which wiped out other African tribes (and still are). There was enslavement of Africans by Africans and the sale of Africans by Africans to non-African slave traders. The Mandinkos (which comprised a majority of the blacks who came to America as slaves) still practice genital mutilation of girl children. In some of these cases, they are sewn closed so that they no longer have anything but a small opening for urine and menstral blood. When they have sex for the first time (and subsequent childbirth), they must be cut open or ripped open.
No ethnic group is sacred. All of them have done things which are truly horrible. No country is without blood on its hands.
And, speaking of slavery, North America and Europe were not the only places which were part of the slave trade. A very large number of African slaves were taken to what is now the middle east and other areas of Asia. Additionally, there were approximately 1 million to 1.5 million Europeans which were sold into slavery in North Africa.
11 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on December 9, 2008 4:37 AM
Well, that was interesting. I went into this reunion with Nene as my favorite, followed by Lisa, and then Deshawn, Kim and Sheree at the bottom. I left it with Nene and Lisa at the bottom. Nene was just a straight up bitch. Keeping it real, my butt. Bottom line is, she didn't have the balls to say what she said about Kim in the limo to her face and instead trashed her behind her back. She treated someone she said was a friend like crap. Period. And, her refusal to own up and admit it was a crappy thing to do and apologize is so small minded. And, the whole, 'you can't be friends with Sheree because I don't like her' thing is so 6th grade. And, let's be honest, that IS what she was doing. But, she lost me completely when she played the race card. That's when I started chucking things at the screen. It's absolutely assinine to accuse Kim of being racist for saying the word 'chicken'. And, the way NeNe said it, I don't believe SHE believes it. She was just being a c*nt. Also, what was up with her bringing up Big Poppa's marital status? It's none of her damn business and it was a completely unnecessary low blow. For the first time, I really saw what Shenee and Kim meant by NeNe being so negative.
And, Lisa! What the hell was she on? She kept saying Kim needed medication but it was her who was high as a kite. She got called on being the one that told people what NeNe had done in the limo and she freaked out. Her calling Kim a liar was pure projection. Also, Kim didn't say she had cancer, for everyone who said that. She said she thought she might have cancer. Her point, I think, was that her hair loss gave her a real health scare and was therefore it was a real low blow for NeNe to bring up since she knew about the medical problem. Should she have ever mentioned the C word? Probably not, but she never said she had cancer. So, Lisa, stfu. Jesus, it really takes a lot for me to have any sympathy for freaking Kim, but those two bitches actually managed it. I just can't get over NeNe calling Kim a racist. Disgusting. And pathetic.
12 of 13 | Posted by kit9 | Posted on December 10, 2008 8:58 AM
I think Kit9 is actually Kimmie. And she said HER DOCTOR thought she might have cancer because she was losing her hair. Doctors know better than that. Kimmie was lying.
13 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on December 10, 2008 10:52 AM