I am so sorry you are sick but I was stalking tvgasm again for this recap and it was totally worth it! i served in fine dining restaurants and bars during college and oh man would i have avoided teresa and her family like the plague!! their children are definitely not well behaved enough to sit through a meal and it is so inconceivably rude that they would punish every other guest in that restaurant!! definitely on board with the juice being in the closet and am pretty sure he just throws money at his wife whenever she asks for sexy time. probably why she is always loaded with so much cash. can not wait for next weeks showdown but scared because in the preview it looks like joe actually chokes teresa which is not entertaining or funny and just really sad. thanks again for suffering for our benefit!! you are the best

Yenta!

I hope that husband of yours is taking care of you!!

Oh my God! Mall-magnon? You are a genius woman! And the action figure is priceless!

And when I heard that the Magnon family goes out to eat every Friday? Ugh. I feel sorry for the other poor souls trying to eat. Those are exactly the kind of kids I hate being near in a restaurant. And a DS at the table? My dad would have a coronary!

I hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses....

SWAK, PottyMouth

Great recap as usual. I cant say that Diva+Caroline bother me like Teresa and Danielle do. Can you imagine being friends w/Teresa and always having to lie about how cute you think those troll kids are? I couldn't do it.They are little monsters. I guess money can't buy table manners. And I am so sick of Danielles over acted drama for the cameras. Really? Doughboy will be there for the girls. It's really fucked up when your own kid pretty much tells you your a whore. Was Jaqueline on this episode? I didn't notice.

Yenta! The only good thing about being sick are the hot toddys. I feel for ya honey. I just got over a killer sinus/ear infection-oy what a nightmare.

Love the action figure. Is the club made of marble?

Rest up for the big finale. Take care.

shanti

Great re-cap per usual.

I just have to ask this question..Why does this site have so many re-caps that start with .."I am sick,I was sick,I have a toothache,I have a broken hand,I am crawling out of bed because of you..

Geesh.What are you doing to these people?

While I enjoy most of the re-caps I don't like it when folks make those of us reading feel as though the author is doing us a favor by typing through all the misery.Most make it perfectly clear in the first paragraph that they are in a distressed state.

I am at the point now where I just think to myself "sorry to bother you" and leave.

Yeah.I know this will be an unpopular post.

Please excuse me while I put my ass in a sling..

R

Dear Yenta, another wonderful recap! None of my friends will watch this with me, so it is comforting to know you and others are eyerolling and drinking along with me.

Be well!

Robinez, I never thought about it before, but sadly you are right about many of the other reviewers.

I can usually spell a spelling error a mile away. Please, please, please, unless someone knows something I don't, it is boobies not bubbies which rhymes with hubbies! Am I wrong? Let me know so I don't go through life clueless! Love the recap.

Yenta,

I'm so sorry to hear that you don't feel well, but I thank you for your brilliant (as usual) recap. I don't even watch the show, but I giggle when I read your story.

Hope the hot toddy's flow from your kitchen like money from Low-Magnon's purse! LOL!

So sorry you are under the weather Yenta! I hope hubby is nursing you back to health (and I won't ask if you made him wear a thong like Low Magnon suggested of Juicy Joe!).

Ok, the action fig on page one had me in hysterics. Only you could find something so perfect!

I was hoping they would show the name of the restaurant where Low Mag and Juicy went for dinner, so I don't wander in there by mistake on a Friday night. Those kids are the holy trinity of terror.

Was anyone else expecting Juicy Joe to whip out a few Benjamins to hand to the doctor after surgery?

I was so relieved to see that Lexi survived her dangerous trip to The International Space Station I mean Cyprus. Since she was visiting family, I wonder if anyone taught her to make a bed while she was there, or did she just leave a pile of bedclothes in her wake?

I had the feeling that the photo shoot was Jackie's idea, not Ashley's. Some "reward". I would not be surprised to learn that Jackie wants a "mini me" and has made no effort to learn about Ashley's interests. That said, her meltdown at the studio was more suited to a 3 year old.

Nina is just pathetically sad. UserName, I thought the exact same thing while watching - when your own daughter basically calls you a whore on TV, that should be a wake up call. The kid's litany of men who have drifted in and out of their lives made me want to call DYFS. The damage being done to these kids really upsets me - this woman needs professional mental health help.

Anyhoo, thanks for the kudooz last week Yenta, from your lips to the Department of Tourism's checkbook! Even with the flu you are one funny Mama. Feel better!xoxox

OMG, is that 'French Chateau', not the tackiest thing ever??? Low-Magnons, children all look to be the evil demon spawn of a Buster Keene picture and Fred Flinstone. I am now going to have to stomach 'Gossip Girl' to see if I can get the cameo of 'Gia'. I am so getting the book 'Cop Without a Badge' it will make great drunk reading.. GREAT RECAP!!!! What did you think of the OC Reunion Follow Up????

Re Wornsey...I am pretty sure Yenta is aware of the spelling of "boobies", she is just paying homage to the way the RHONJ say the word. In pretty much every episode they talk about their "bubbies" which indeed rhymes with hubbies. It's supposed to be a cute little phrase but is kind of annoying.

That being said...thanks for the recap Yenta, hope you feel better soon.

How douchey did Steve look in that shiny t-shirt & baseball hat? I do not see how Danielle found him attractive at all?
She always seems to be trying to censor what people say when the cameras are around - telling her daughters to be quiet when they were speaking about all her past boyfriends & a few weeks ago when she told Jacqueline & Teresa to shut up when they were talking about her kids knowing about her sex life!

And to wornsey@aol.com - I think the recapper is spelling "boobies" as "bubbies" to reflect the unique way these women say the word :)

I have to say that I don't get the hate going on this season. I normally agree with every word TVgasm writes regarding the RH franchise, but this season not so much. I like Caroline and Dina - I don't get your hatred for them. Caroline just kind seems like a real person who loves her kids and wants the best for them even if it isn't the smartest plan in the world, not a lot of drama. And Dina, she's okay, but I don't think she is evil at all. But Danielle, come on, she put herself on national tv begging for her husband to give her a settlement (ah, get a job), talks about never meeting a guy but having phone sex with him, offers a quickie in the bathroom and we are suppose to feel sorry for her? Are you seriously telling me that if someone you knew was written about in a book with sorid details you wouldn't talk about it with friends and family? I think Danielle is pathetic and I just don't get your take on this season.

Chigirl, I completely agree with you. I like Caroline & Dina. I'm sure Dina can be bitchy, but I don't think she is horrible at all. And I think Teresa is harmless. Sure, her girls are way spoiled, but I don't think she is so bad otherwise.

Hi, sorryyouresick thanks for the recap.

I thought Caroline was a big lady, she just looks so matronly. But in her workout clothes she's actually pretty fit. I think the big boobs, short hair, and frumpy clothes just make her look that way. I was surprised she looks better than her daughter (not that that's all that hard to do).

I wish you hadn't pointed out Theresa's hairline. Now it's like a third eye staring back at me. She wears those headbands to feel normal for a few hours. Judge Napolitano on Fox News has that same weird low hairline.

It's so funny that every segment with PoorAshley seems to be about embarrassing her in some way. She's still in high school and I'm fairly certain this show wasn't her idea LOL. Poor Ashley. I'd be embarrassed all day long for an awesome car like that though. I hope she doesn't have repercussions from the show the way Ramona's daughter did at her school.

Grandma and Dina look just alike, only Grandma hasn't had Botox.

Danielle is just a pathetic needy selfish old bitch. She maneuvers her kids into being her "best friends" on the pretense of being "honest." I think she also maneuvers unsuspecting women friends into satisfying her "Bi" side instead of just going to the gay bar on ladies night where no predatory deception is necessary. I cannot stand her.

I hope the finale is as much fun as the promos make it appear.

~FloO

I'm not sure if anyone else picked up on this - but, exactly how many men has Danielle dated and introduced to her children in the two years she's been separated from her husband? I thought on the first show, it said that her divorce had been pending for two years. In my opinion, in that time, there's no way she should be introducing any boyfriend to her children - much less having them interract to the extent that she expects them to have an independent relationship! Another posted mentioned calling children's services - and, seriously, I don't think that is a stretch.

I also agree that she wants to re-write reality. She has tried to correct or edit what people say on camera. I agree with Bethenny Frankel on this one - if you're going to be one of these shows, you have to BE on it. You can't edit yourself.

Honestly, I think the other women seem pretty normal - for the RHO franchise. In fact, I think that they were so normal that there was no real drama, except for next week, which is why there was such a short season. The other four women get along, and if they refuse to interract with Danielle, then there won't be any drama.

Dear Yenta,

I hope you're feeling better soon. Those awful colds and sinus infections can be especially bad when it's nice outside. At least they seem worse.

The Low-Magnon's deserve their own show. We could have great entertainment weekly just watching Theresa and her girls try to drag Juicy away from his "work".

Did anyone else think it's weird that he has all this money and works out of a little cracker box of an office? It wasn't even a private office with a door? What kind of construction does he do without a big office computers, long tables with plans on them, etc.

Just wondering.

Yenta-doll! Hope you're feeling better, perhaps that action-figure will have magical healing properties... or your hairline will begin to lower itself. I'm beginning to wonder if thatshit is for real, because wearing a wig with the hairline too low on the head is a common mistake that inexperienced drag queens often make, and I'm thinking Teresa is a drag queen (this would explain her having no tits to speak of prior to surgery).

I also love how the Manzo Clanzo keeps continually talking shit about Nina and then blames HER for the intrusion in their precious lives.

Great recap, much love to you!

love, J-Mo :)

P.S. And may I just say in defense of Yenta, she does NOT kvetch about being sick every week. This franchise has been EXTREMELY busy over the last few weeks with the transition from NYC to NJ and she has put forth a large amount of high-quality work in a very short amount of time, so please, give her a break! Recapping is difficult enough work when you're well, and it can be monumentally hard when you're ill or have personal trauma going on in your real life... I speak from personal experience. Love, J-Mo :)

I should have posted earlier - but thanks J-Mo for saying it the way I feel. The recappers here provide a lot of great entertainment for us all, and personally I don't object to hearing a bit about what's going on in their lives. Yenta is never a whiner in spite of having a life outside of recaps. xoxo

Bravo, J-Mo and njgasmefan,

Recapping is hard work and Yenta works very hard to produce awesome recaps.

I love hearing the ups and downs of all of our lives and I don't think she was whining or complaining.

TVannie

Yenta I know you weren't going to do recaps anymore, and managed to do it through a house move, so it's always appreciated. Is it B-side (am I allowed to say that here?) who has a category called "awful people?") Included is abusive emails regarding free recaps LOL!

Hugs to everybody!!! Love you all madly. Happily I've kicked the flu, or I've had so many hot toddies I can no longer tell the difference. Tonight's the night!!! And I truly wish each and every one of you was in my living room to watch it with me. Imagine the food fights, the drinking games, the tears, the laughter...okay, probably one too many hot toddies...
Hugs,
Yenta

ROAD TRIP!!!!!

Hi,

I certainly wouldn't begrudge Yenta her sick day.Hell we have all had them and It is particurlarly hard to be funny when you are feeling like shit.I also happen to like her re-caps.She puts a spin to them that doesn't occur to you until she says it.Then the laughter starts.

OK I have sucked up enough.

My point was,and still is,75% of the recaps preceed with "I am sick" in one way or another.

I am not supposed to know,as a reader,what is going on in the authors personal life.I am supposed to read the article and gain information.

If it happened one or a few times then maybe I would gloss over it and read the article.But if it happens so many times as to be noticed by many others then you are left with "Oh she/he is doing the recap I hope they arent going to tell me how sick they are before I even get a good chuckle from it,

You see,starting an article on a down note when you want to make folks laugh never works.It makes the reader feel as though we are intruding.That wall should never be broken by the writer.This is journalism 101.The job of a writer is to report.

I truly enjoy most of the re-caps.I have been reading them for a few years.But as of late I feel uncomfortable reading.

If I want to hear complaints I will call one of my relatives.I used to come here to get away from that.

Take Care,R

I also went back to the archives.Too many start out on a down note.I looked at 50 to be fair.Out of 50 37 broke the wall.