Dear Gasmi,
It's time to take the jump down the rabbit hole and enjoy the mind-bending bizarro world that occurs when the separate realities of five seriously insane housewives collide.
Make that six.
There's something special about any housewife franchise that warrants an "undisclosed location" for their reunion episodes. After all the Russian Tea Room is just so obvious. It doesn't have nearly the same panache as a location that can only be described as "in the warehouse district, near the railroad tracks" and probably surrounded by hard working crack hos, pimps, and gangsters. Miss Thang is nearly beside herself with excitement. Not only has he color coordinated his outfit with the set, he also saw some real live tranny hookers on the way in.
They're having a sale on BJ's right outside!
The ladies have taken their seats with poor, about-to-pop, Jacqueline protectively ensconced between Mama Manzo and the Diva to Miss Thang's left. It's not clear whether the Laurita/Manzo women are sitting with their sister to give support in case her water breaks or to keep her from saying anything that might make the family look bad. After all, they've had time to come up with an agreed on party line regarding the entire Nina/book/table turning season, and there's no way in hell that Mama's going to let her sister-in-law, or anybody else, embarrass them a second time.
I may not be an expert on body language, but I'm pretty sure Mama is sending Miss Thang a message.
Miss Thang is looking a little worried about Jacqueline's expectant condition, and I don't really blame him. It's just a guess, but I doubt that Andy would relish the sight of a head pushing it's way through a gaping vagina, and there's no saying that he won't be forced to experience the wonders of birth before the day is done. Jacqueline isn't looking too happy either, but the only way Bravo is going to let her out of this reunion is if her water breaks. It's a good thing that they have a nurse on the set, because Jacqueline tells us that she was doing her best to get the flood started right up until they started filming.
Never one to miss out on a possible fashion trend, Low-Magnon has her own bun a-bakin' in the oven, or in her case an open pit fire.
We're in talks to do a remake of Clan of the Cave Bear.
Low-Magnon and Nina are occupying the couch to Miss Thang's right. As he goes around the circle greeting the housewives, he ends with Nina complimenting her on her hair extensions. I have to say that long hair is a good look for Nina, she looks a little less stressed and crazy. Or maybe it's not the hair, I'm thinking she got her eyebrows lowered, or at least one of them. Is that even possible?
She can go from surprised to pissed just by turning her head.
Miss Thang starts off the discussion with the riveting topic 'big Joisey hair. Low-Magnon's in particular. Does she really think her current hair is small as in not big? Low-Magnon looks momentarily confused until she realizes that she totally mistook the meaning of the word small. She thought it meant her hairstyle was, you know, "more modern". Miss Thang grins back at her, while he wonders if he should bother defining the word "modern" for her. I gotta feel for the man, language barriers are always a challenge.
I give him another hour before he starts speaking slowly and loudly and waving his arms around.
The Diva jumps in with a picture from her own big hair high school days. But the hair is just an excuse because the picture really proves that she had those same puffy lips she spends so much time outlining when she was a teenager. Seriously, the woman has no trouble frankly admitting her "bubbies" are made of silicone, but God forbid anybody thinks her lips are. I guess everybody needs to draw a line somewhere.
So natural that Nature's Valley is going to design an advertising campaign around her, from the head up.
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Comments (1)
I found the dirt about the fat man found in the truck of a car. Yep. Everybody wants to think about the day of their engagement with such beautiful memories. Maybe "Mama" should have a chat with the cops because they seem to have a completely different opinion about "her family".
I saw the Diva's wedding tv show but the split marriage info is a little vague. Would someone please post a link or post a hint to a good link?
I have a friend who pays for everything in cash but he has retail stores. Juicy and Cro have cash handy because......?
1 of 1 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 5, 2009 11:00 PM