Nina points out that none of the Mean Girls were coming anywhere near her so she really had no other opportunity to address them as a group about the book. Mama Manzo leans forward and, with the utmost sincerity, lies. Damn, she's good. She sounds completely reasonable when she says that if Nina had wanted to talk about the book the Laurita/Manzo women would have been totally happy to trot right over to her place for a cozy cup of tea and a heart-to-heart, just-us-girls kind of chat. Nina turns her face to show the eyebrow that's frozen in a state of perpetual surprise and says skeptically, "Really? Because when I asked Jacqueline if I could get everybody together she said no." Jacqueline says that she doesn't remember that particular conversation, but I'm officially taking everything she says with a grain of salt. Not only is Jacqueline wedged between Mama and the Diva, she's a week away from her due date and I'm guessing she's having trouble remembering where her feet are.
OMG, I haven't seen those in weeks.
It's starting to get a wee bit tense between the Mean Girls and Nina Van Ho, but Miss Thang has an entire hour to get through and Bravo doesn't keep him around just for his pretty face. Nope. Miss Thang's a pro, and like any pro she's all about drawing out the tension. After promising the ladies that the time for blood will come, he moves the convo to a safer topic; that being bubbies. According to Miss Thang, the Bravo site has been completely flooded with questions about bubbies, as opposed to boobies. Which, of course, leads to a flashback sequence of the Mean Girls playfully flashing, flaunting and flirting with their enhanced mammary glands. Poor Nina, she's totally left out of the bubbie bonding. And, really, the only time she tried to bond over bubbies was when she asked if she could borrow the Diva's own pair of uber-siliconed twins. Unfortunately, the Diva was not amused by Nina's awkward attempts to frolic and instead of bonding the Diva resorted to a frigid little smile before beating a hasty retreat.
Now that Low-Magnon is a silicone carrying member of the big bubbie club, Miss Thang is curious to know if the Juice is still an assman. I totally take this as a polite way of asking if silicone has the power to turn a closeted man into a raging heterosexual.
You can't expect a man to change over night.
Other news on the Jersey bubbie front includes a painful story about Nina Van Ho's implant mishaps (which goes a long way toward explaining her distracting breast misalignment), and the Diva's life-changing decision to get a breast reduction, despite her husband's obsession with humongous bubbage. After all, it is important for a woman to recognize that fine line between tasteful and tacky when it comes to artificial parts.
Or spontaneous hand gestures.
Speaking of husbands, Miss Thang takes the opportunity to fire off a viewer's question concerning the whereabouts of the Diva's MIA spouse. The Diva gives a little shrug, bats her eyelashes and says that Tommy doesn't really exist except in her twisted mind.
Is it too much to ask to have one sane housewife per show?
Haha. The Diva is just kidding us. Her husband really exists, he just doesn't want to be part of the show. Wow, what a concept; a person choosing not to whore themselves out for fifteen minutes of self-destructive fame. Of course, this leaves the question of when the Diva and her husband see each other, especially if the cameras are following her around 24/7. No problem there. I guess it's easy for a marriage that revolves around the breakfast table plus one date night a week to avoid being filmed. I'm feeling kind of bad for the Diva. In the immortal words of Vicki Gunvalson, this is a woman whose "love tank" has got to be a little low. No wonder she's turning the charm in Miss Thang's direction.
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Comments (1)
I found the dirt about the fat man found in the truck of a car. Yep. Everybody wants to think about the day of their engagement with such beautiful memories. Maybe "Mama" should have a chat with the cops because they seem to have a completely different opinion about "her family".
I saw the Diva's wedding tv show but the split marriage info is a little vague. Would someone please post a link or post a hint to a good link?
I have a friend who pays for everything in cash but he has retail stores. Juicy and Cro have cash handy because......?
1 of 1 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 5, 2009 11:00 PM