Dear Gasmi,
Oops! I totally lost the last paragraph, not to mention the little formatting issue. Sigh!! So just for hoots:

Well, Gasmi, that's it for this week. I hope you're all well, happy and reassured that however bitchy, mean or crazy you feel, there is an entire family of women out there that make us look like saints!

Hugs,
Yenta

Hey Yenta, LET ME TELL YOU A'SOMETHING ABOUT MY BAMBLY...

"she's not attracted to a short, ignorant, rude, closet case, weeble with the IQ of a cabbage."

...YOU HIT DA NAIL RIGHT OIN DA HEAD!

Does anyone else think Joe and Whoever's new house has got to be the ugliest house in Franklin Lakes?

It looks like a shoe box with a big orange cone stuck to the front. It took three years to build that thing? Did the big orange cone come as a prefab unit?

My last boss had a construction business. We live in a resort town and his houses are in the 2.5-3M range. He and his son work together, and while they are fairly comfortable, there is NO WAY they have wads of cash to pass around. The businesses that these people supposedly have can make you a nice middle-class living, but let's just say I'm surprised at the lifestyles they are portraying. I can't wait for "Real Housewives: The IRS Edition."

Thanks for the recap.

~FloO

After thinking about it, that house took three years to build because he could only skim labor and construction materials off of other jobs a little at a time. I figured it out. The cone came from some sort of "Beach Pavilion" job, you think?

Dearest Yenta,

These girls were all over the place this week-- Fertility issues, dancing lessons, movin' on up, Columbian cartels and kidnapping, crack whores. Yeech, it's more than I can delve into without getting paid. I've decided to explore the most perplexing and fascinating (at least for me) "low magnon's" hair line.

Here's a quote from another website.

Teresa--Where is this chick's forehead? Her hair looks like someone's wig turned backwards. She reminds me of Monster from the muppets. I believe her hair is just a giant unibrow growing backwards.

You and I are not the only ones perplexed. Then I got to thinking, about another set of reality stars whose low hairline made me do a double take. The Gotti Boys from Growing Up Gotti! Didn't the way their hair sat on their heads make you wonder, too?

I discussed this with my husband who seems to think it has to do with the Moors conquering everyone. I'm not sure but maybe he's right. He watches way more History Channel than me. Smiles, Yenta. Until next week.

Hi Yenta,
Tee hee, I love the name Low-Magnon. It's perfect.

You know that part of my family is Italian and let me tell you something about my Italian family- 99.9% homophobic. Sad, but true. If I had any gay relatives there would be no way of knowing, they'd be stuffed far back in the closet along with Nona's pictures of the old country.

And I know that they just moved into the house but where is the $120,000 worth of furniture? Two couches in the living room the size of a movie theater? You have got to be kidding me. Juicy Joe needs to do some more money laundering if he wants to be able to fill up that house.

Looks like I'm going to need to send you some of those Daisy vomit buckets to help you through this nightmare. UGH.

Holy Crap Yenta! I cannot believe the shit that went down in this episode. These women are making me long for the days when we were all complaining about Leather and Countess LuLu being rude.

So much ugliness in one episode, and that's not even including Low-Magnon's kids. Maybe that was mean. Eh. I don't care.

Jacqueline was pissing me off with her wishy washy attitude. If the woman is your friend it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks! Especially your mobbed up in-laws.

UGH. I'm gonna stop there because you know I could go on a tear about this and then everyone would be like "We get it, enough already!"

Love you Yenta! I'd offer you a liver transplant after this, but I think mine is shot too!

SWAK, PottyMouth

You know, Rita Hayworth had a low hairline. Once she had electrolysis to raise it, she became a star.

Maybe Juicy Joe oughta sell one of those couches and get electrolysis for his babygirl.

I am really sorry to go against the half-hearted, listless support of Nina that seems to be a'risin', along with the bad New Jersey moon, but I cannot forgive her for the eyebrows.
ALSO, what kind of lame ass pretends to care how the book and character assasination is going to affect her daughters when same aforementioned lame ass has been talking about phone sex on CURRENT television (not from 24 years ago) and has been giving blow jobs to a man her oldest doesn't like in their own home?

See Nina, see???? You're so terrible, I can't stick up for you even while you're battling pure evil and have an adorable gay friend who may or may not look a tiny bit like the Darren Stevens I fell in love with as a young girl.

Oh Yenta and pals, forgive me for being relentlessly unforgiving. I still heart the recaps and all your snappy comments.

Yenta - I'm with you, I felt like I needed a shower after this epi to get the ick off me.

I did think it was hilarious that Low Magnon (PERFECT NAME YENTA!) told everyone how into Dancing with the Stars Juicy Joe was, and how HE wanted to take lessons. Ummm, I was not getting that vibe from him at the lesson. I used to work with someone just like him, this person had a very narrow view of the world and gays did not exist in his universe. Oh yes, and all foreigners were sterotyped. Blech. While I'm not a Nina fan, I give her major Kudooz for calling him out like the small minded jerk that he was. Also, was it just me or was Gia a little snot ordering Alberto around (while assuming he did not speak English)?

Nina with her kids was almost scary. Constantly telling her kids that the 3 of them can't trust anyone is very sad. I wonder if she sat them down and talked about the book / rumors at all? I would hope so, since thanks to DivaBitch everyone in town is talking. I still think Nina is batshit crazy (she has Ramona beat and is going for Vicki's world record in my opinion) but as you pointed out, even the author's family disputes a lot of what was written. I do feel really sorry for those girls, between Mom's rants to them and her blatant sexual comments on the show.

Jacquline really is getting boring. If you are getting something out of your friendship with Nina then tell the Bitches to back off. If Nina is dragging you down, then tell her and end it. I will say that if anyone of my friends accused me of lying to her (as Nina did to Jacquline - "my gut tells me you are lying") I would have gotten up and walked out of the place.

Seriously think my Tuesday nights would be better spent staring at a blank wall, but you know I'll be back. THANK YOU YENTA for your on target comments and for helping us laugh through this trainwreck! Hugs...

Yenta, I'm feeling very centered today. Maybe that's because of this lovely recap.

I was disappointed in WeebleBear's attitude, but I suspect it's because he suffers from IBS (Itchy Butthole Syndrome). I bet with the right fella plowing his big chunky ass he'd purr like a kitten. I am not volunteering, I'm just saying....

OMG, Low-Magnon is dead-ON! I can't stand that entire family, ESPECIALLY the snotty little girls. Who keeps feeding Gia the idea that she can act? Or that she's pretty? I'm not saying she ugly, I'm just saying that she's not done growing yet, and right now she looks more like a muppetchild than a prettygirl.

As for the Diva, I was thinking that Nina's not the only insane one when Diva burst into tears over HER fugly daughter getting ready to leave on a trip to the Third World. If it's fucking with you THAT much then cancel the trip, bitch! Send the girl to Disneyland instead (except to her, Florida is probably ALSO a foreign country).

I'm thinking that the Manzo clan's attempt to assassinate Nina with allegations of illegal activities is a pathetic plight to take the focus off of them and their own questionable cash-sources. I loved your Mama Manzo dumpy bag-lady description (and clearly she's got zero rhythm, she looked awkward just sitting on that couch).

I agree with PottyMouth, the NYC ladies, for all of their stupidity, at least seemed semi-intelligent and I don't believe JZ or LuLu or Lady B or Crazy Eyes or Silex would ever stoop to the same levels as these bitches. However, I do think that Leather would, because she's been to jail.

Awesome job, I laughed a lot, thank you for that!

love, J-Mo :)

Dear Gasmi,
I'm sorry it's taking me so to reply to your comments. I'm spending Sun thru Tues morning camping out in the midst of a renovation project in another city. Unfortunately, at this point there are no walls, electricity, or internet (except for my iphone). We're talking some major good times!!

FloOKY: I totally agree with you about the whole contractor/wads of cash thing. I keep asking my contractor where his stacks of hundreds are and he just stares at me in disbelief. It's been a hard couple of years for contractors...Also, to be a successful contractor you need to be smart. I mean really smart. I can't even imagine sitting down to review my buildiing permit app with the Juice. Sheesh!!

Guitarheromom: Your husband is totally awesome. At this point mine just leaves the room when these ladies come on. The hairline thing is just bizarre. On the other hand, she's not going to have to worry about getting worry lines or forehead wrinkles.

Twunty: Darling, awesome point about the furniture. Didn't she pick out 3 tables or some ridiculous amount of stuff when she was rotating and pointing in the furniture store? I would be totally grateful for a Daisy vomit bucket. Good Lord, the only thing that could save this trainwreck would be to combine the two shows. We could get really really drunk...

Pottymouth: The really sad thing is that I think that tonight is going to be even worse. I'm honestly not sure I can stomach it. How many people beg their doctors for prescription strength sedatives so they can watch reality TV?

Pixielated: The difference between Rita H. and Theresa is that Rita H had a normal shaped head. There's nowhere for Theresa' hairline to go but straight back.

TeamBethenny: Don't worry I totally share your concerns about Nina's eyebrows, and her penchant for discussing phone sex on screen. But if I have to hate all of them equally I'll grow too depressed to finish the season. Sigh!!

njgasmifan: Darling the NJ tourism bureau should be sending you paychecks for being living proof that Jersey women can be awesome!

J-Mo, sweetheart, I miss my weekly dose of your recaps!! I have to say that in between my bouts of swearing at weeble bear's assholery, I was thinking that you and your BF were probably having a very entertaining commentary : )

Lots a love and hugs,
Yenta