Dear Gasmi,

This is it! Woohoo! Part 1 of our reunion episode. I've got my yummy Frangelico Hazelnut cupcakes (shouts out to FloOky!!) and I'm ready to go.

Let's rumble!

Posted by YentaPatrol at 6:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Gasmi,

It's finally here. We've laughed, we've cried, and we've even gagged a few times. My liquor cabinet is looking a little depleted and I need baby oil to fit into my jeans. It's been a truly awesome season.

But before I get all teary eyed, there's a finale to get through, so grab the booze you have left and settle in. This one's gonna be a doozie...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (17)

Dear Gasmi,

This week Bethenny gets her own Euro boy toy; Silex does the great reveal; Leather is, well, completely FUBAR; and Crazy Eyes gets beautified.

Everybody armed and ready? Well then, Gasmi, start your livers and take the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 3:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)

Dear Gasmi,

This week it's Halloween in hausenfrau land!! All of our ladies are ready and willing to entertain us with a variety of costumes, and, really, this week is a lot like our own private freakshow.

I've got my gummi bears, my tequila (because the good Lord knows this show needs the strong stuff), and some chips for throwing diversity. Shouts out to Twunty for the boobs pic, and "Cheers" to anybody willing to take the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)

Dear Gasmi,

Have you ever been invited to one of those parties where you're expected to buy some really embarrassing lingerie, and you don't realize it until you get there? That's pretty much this week's episode. Seriously, if it wasn't bolted down chances are that one of the hausenfrau was selling it. Well, somebody's got to pay for all that shopping.

As a shout out to Twunty and because I need something really strong this week, I'm going for Long Island Ice Teas again, with a straw. So sippity sip and join me after the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (17)

Dear Gasmi,

This week Bravo takes a step toward becoming a fabulous new kind of QVC channel.

I'm definitely recommending lots of alcohol for this episode. It's a lot more fun to watch people behaving badly, when your drunk...so chugalug...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 12:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

Dear Gasmi,

This week must have been a series of headline induced orgasmic moments for Andy Cohen. Every day another housewife imploded on the horizon. Over in Orange County, more Slade/Gretchen pictures were popping up and, not to be outdone, Crack Ho Vicki announced that she'd been receiving death threats. Who'd have thunk it? Meanwhile, our Big Apple ho's were stealing the spotlight with Alex getting laid off from her job; Leather having to go to court and puting her Hampton house on the market; Crazy Eyes being boycotted by her daughter's private school; and the biggest news of them all, Count No Neck dropping the news on the Countess VIA EMAIL that he wanted out of their marriage. In addition, there's the little tidbit that the Countess' Hamptons property has also been put on the market!! Holy Crap!! You can just hear Andy off in the distance moaning in pleasure.

Personally, I want to give a heartfelt thanks to all of the hausenfrau who have sacrificed their privacy and allowed their lives to publicly implode all over the inside of our TV screens.

Love ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

So grab some preferably dry aerodynamic comfort good and a stiff drink. I'm going with Twunty's Long Island Tea (in support of Bethenny, of course), and take the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)

Dear Gasmi,

This week we get to know a little bit more about Old Leather Face and even the Countess comes off looking good.

And then a white light descended and I just knew that God meant for me to be famous and rich and did I say famous?

I've officially gone to the dark side, and I'm balancing a whopping pile of whip cream on an even bigger sunday. It just adds a whole new level of pleasure to be stuffing my face while I'm watching these skinny women dance for the cameras. On the other hand, its going to be a bitch to clean off my TV screen. Sigh! So, grab yourself some less messy food, or not, and join me after the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (36)

Dear Gamsi,

I love food and I hate diets. Sadly, despite my best intentions, I've gained an impressive three pounds this week. So, for the present, I'm sucking up pears and champagne (shouts out to Kizarny) and seriously missing my gummi bears. But, like any good brainwashed bravolite, I'm all ready to find some inspiration in this week's episode of the NYC hausenfrau.

I'm hoping that somebody out there is noshing on some chocolate, creamy, yummies, while somebody else is scarfing up a plate of nachos, and somehow that contented stuffed feeling will magically transmit to me...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (25)

Dear Gasmi,

This week JZ and Brad make a pitch for their own gay sitcom; Bethenny gets to play covergirl; Ramona rocks a bikini; Silex floats in a backyard pool of denial; and the Count-ass earns her title. Whoopsi, I forgot Kelly. Well on the TV she's still meh, but in real life... Holy Cow!!

I forced myself to get on the scale this week. Sadly, it turns out that my jeans haven't shrunk; I've just grown larger. I hate that. I'm restricting myself to apple slices and wine. I'm so not a wine drinker and I don't particularly like apples. I'm a tad bit cranky about the whole thing, so do me a favor and grab something really fattening before taking the jump...

Posted by YentaPatrol at 1:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)