So Bethenny, Jill, Lee and Louis are seated at a table when another gentlemen approaches and is introduced as Black Joe, the name apparently wittily derived from his skin color. Bethenny is all over this introducing herself as white Bethenny and Jill as Jewish Jill. Then she tells the camera "that's totally perfect for the race track, an inappropriate racial slur. Let's make him go do a betting errand and you know act like a big shot. There's the race track in a nutshell." Then to make the entire scene even more uncomfortable and creepy, Lee gives Bethenny a slinky black negligee as a birthday present. Jill and Bethenny are all like "Thank you. How sweet." Then Bethenny tells the camera, "Totally inappropriate. It's my father's friend. It's my birthday. I have a boyfriend and I'm opening up a black negligee. How do I rewind this tape put it back in the box and pretend it never happened?" Oh, Bethenny, how many times in my life have I wondered that exact same thing. But before I can think any more about it a short fat dude comes over and blows a horn at their table.

Horny%20joe.jpg
Is Horny Joe too inappropriate?

They decide to place some bets and they go outside to look at the horses. Bethenny is dressed all in black and wearing serious dominatrix black leather gloves, while Jill is wearing a coat, skirt and pumps all in a tasteful shade of orange, perfectly coordinated to match the jockey's jerseys.

While they looked at the horses, Bethenny must have been feeling a little sentimental because she has an unusual compliment for her father telling us, "I never had a relationship with my father. He never sought one out, but I know enough to know that he's the best in the world at what he does." And then we get more from Jill about Bethenny being an orphaned waif, but I can't really believe in the poor little match girl now that I know about the private school, so I'm thinking poor little rich girl.

The horse that they're betting on belongs to Louis and was trained by Bethenny's father and we get to watch the race, which I was hoping would be super exciting. Sadly, the horse loses and Jill is all like "I'm out $500 bucks" and Bethenny is all, "Oh, that's alright." LOL. Then everybody says sorry to Louis.

We leave the weird and creepy world of the horse racing to go visit with Ramona, which won't be awkward at all because life with Ramona is always so well adjusted and normal. Ramona is going to visit her good friend and doctor/plastic surgeon. To make it all really social she's bringing her really good friend Kathleen along, because she believes women should share. You know sharing things like secrets, beauty tips and painful medical procedures a close friend does make. Besides, Dr. Sharon has a new machine to make them look beautiful. So Dr. Sharon, MD is wearing a tight LOW cut black dress to work on her patients, which is totally bizarre and I've got to wonder if she wears stilettos and a g-string when she's in surgery.

Sexist.jpg
Sexist bastards won't take me seriously.

Ramona tells her friend Kathleen that Dr. Sharon can make them look 18 forever and Dr. Sharon ahems a little and says, "well, maybe 29." Ramona is also wearing the same dress that she went out dancing in the night of the Gotham bachelor event. It must be like her lucky dress.

Ramona is worrying about the upcoming dinner party with the rest of the housewives. Like any normal gal pal, she decides to explain the whole drama to Dr. Sharon and her good friend Kathleen just before Dr. Sharon is about to inject Kathleen with botox. After all, the camera pretty much assures that they'll listen supportively. Kathleen is seated in the procedure chair with the Dr. standing next to her ready to proceed and both are watching Ramona tell her story with frozen smiles on their faces. Ramona winds up with a plaintive, yet hopeful, "And Jill will forgive me." The Dr. and Kathleen both deeply moved by Ramona's story give her a cursory nod before moving on to the painful botox procedure.

Real Housewives of NYC: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9 

« Hell's Kitchen: Good Riddance, You Corpulant Redneck Boob | Main | Real World: Hollywood »

Comments (12)

AnneM:

Dear YentaPatrol,

First things first, wonderful job. This recap was your best one yet.

I don't know about anyone else, but I was exhausted after watching this episode. I don't know how many times I said "Holy S**t!" causing my husband to yell from the other room, "Are you ok?" I'm disabled so I usually don't say anything loud unless I need help.

I was so glad we got to see little Frankie (love that name) get evaluated. I wonder if the Dr. will mention anything about his passive aggressive and rude behavior. Probably not, otherwise they won't bring little Johnny when he starts burping the entire alphabet in Olde English.

Bethenny has missed her calling. Give up cooking and do a stand-up routine. It would lead to a huge movie deal, her talents are wasted in the kitchen.

And lastly our poor dear little Ramona, Queen of the Prom. I say that because her dress is almost an exact copy of a dress my friend got for her daughter's Junior Prom. They are the same color. The theme of the prom is Cinderella. Funny that Ramona's dress would appeal to a 16 year old. Actually, that's a little sad.

Ramona looks like a hooker no matter what she wears. Avery might as well go away to boarding school. She's not going to change her Mom's taste, but at least she should not have to look at it every day.

One final thing about Frankie and Johnny. They are being raised to be the most obnoxious, self-important, brats I've ever seen. I don't normally criticize children, I love kids. But these two have serious issues. Unfortunately, their parents are so busy climbing that social ladder, they've completely over looked the hardest part of child rearing, saying "no". IF they don't start correcting that behavior very soon, they will have real trouble.

Imagine a couple of teenage boys, with no manners or discipline? what a nightmare.

I'm so happy we will have a reunion and season 2. And what about the New Jersey Wives? I'm really looking forward to all of our future viewing and your recaps.

Thanks for the laughs,

AnneM

giffordsaz:

Yenta you are one of the best! When I saw that I had 9 pages to look forward I got a tsll drink and settled in for early Saturday ME time! I was interrupted three time which included getting in my car and picking up one of my children from Softball practice.. which I will hold against her all day. I hope yor return for season two and now that I might have a bit of time I am going to read you chapters.

I couldn't add a thing to what you and Ann wrote above. This was a delight and I look forward to the reunion show.

Have you looked for the pictures of Alex they keep mentioning in the previews?? For a woman so set against sexism you would think she would have issue with working for Victoia's Secret And posing nude. I see long years of public education ahead for Francios, not that there is anything wrong with thatÜ

Thanks for the good read.....

giffordsaz:

okay ... I found this link... and I warn you.. it is Alex in her birthday suit...and it is nt pretty.... and when you read the article and go to the picture links in the article you will understand why her children are disturbed... or maybe she isn't actually posing nude in her children's bedroom.

giffordsaz:

okay, i cannot post any urls in the message body.

Jeesh... if you want to see what I am talking about the link IS in the Real Housewives of New York City thread.

AnneM:

Naked Pictures Comment:

First of all, when little Frankie and Johnny go to school, all of their little friends will be trading pictues of their naked Mummy in the cafeteria. And when their parents see the pictures, they will no longer feel the need to invite the little bad mannered kids to any parties.

Second, Alex and Simon (because you know he was there cheering her on) have really underestimated the effect of these pictures. All of the valuable contacts they have made while clawing their way up the social ladder will see these pictures and will remove their names from any party list. They will also go out of their way to avoid them in public. People with "old money" are very conservative. Do you think the Count would have married Lou Anne if there were naked pictures of her floating around?

I guess Alex and Simon should spend money on their house and time disciplining their kids. Perhaps saying "no" would be a much more important lesson that they need instead of learning French or Latin or Vulcan or whatever other useless information that they think a child needs.

They need limits and after seeing their mother's idea of celebrating her baby weight loss, I'm starting to understand why the kids don't behave in public. Neither does their Mom.

Can you just hear what Jill and the Countess and even Ramona and Bethenny will say?

What a couple of dorks!!

YentaPatrol:

Hey Guys,

Boy am I going to miss recapping this show with you guys...

AnneM: I love the queen of the prom comment--it's perfect

Giffordsaz: I had no idea that the pictures could be accessed; I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry, but I definitely want a drink before I look.

AnneM: You're right about the pictures not helping them. These are two very bizarre people--thank God they found each other...

Hugs,
Yenta


tati:

Yenta! I agree with the posters above, this really was your best recap to date! Highly enjoyed the photo captions (my fave is of Frankie & his papa discussing cancer & death). I missed the irony of Alex & Simon bidding away at the Habitat for Humanity auction, while their own home has probably failed 20 inspections so thank you for pointing it out. I am so sad this show over, I need more Yenta!

I think Alex needs to go back to her 'How to Converse in Society When You Are New Money' Handbook---surely she will realize that nowhere does it read, 'Step one: blurt out vibrator talk among people you aim to impress, while attending a swanky silent auction.' Look, Alex, polite society might let you get away with sporting a thong bikini in Frenchy St. Barts but vibrator talk with a bonafide Countess FFS, who allows you to address her by her first name is a definite no-no!

I think Bethanny miscontrued Alex's 'just plug it in' quip---not plug it into the wall outlet, honey, she meant into yourself. (OHHH! Alex is so liberal-minded, she WILL go there!) But I loved Bethanny's interviews throughout this episode, she was hilarious & frank as always. Loved how she handled her dad's friends at the races (White Bethanny, Jewish Jill), as well as Lee's gift (ok, an aside, what was he thinking?? Obviously doesn't have a girlfriend & is wishing Betts would realize he's interested. I was so embarassed for her!) Holy inappropriateness is right. BTW, does Jason do anything besides blink in disbelief & remain mute during his segments? What's there to sue, dude didn't say more than 30 words, TOPS, this entire season! We heard more from little Frankie. Speaking of little Frankie, agree w/ Bethanny’s observation about the usefulness of Alex’s banshees, I mean, kids singing, ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ in Latin. & YES, Yenta, why not drive that Au Pair into overtime & have her babysit the kids while the parents attend a fancy dinner?!! I know kids are kids and there is nothing wrong w/ a little wildness, but there is a time and a place for everything---allowing your child to attack your friend’s $1000 food is not one of them! That scene drove me NUTS! Ramona-level nuts! (ok, maybe not)

Re) LuAnn --- agree that she wanted to go into Countess PR damage control after last week’s episode when she laughed at her young child for expressing his wishes that she remain at home on taco night. Did you guys catch during one of her interviews when she referred to her hubby, not as the Count, but by his given name of ALEX??!! I guess the viewers have finally earned this right (bet Bettany’s driver can’t call him Alex yet!)

Ramona. She looked exactly the same as she did before she went in for all the treatments. Except perhaps a little more bug-eyed. Too bad they can’t do something about her crassness. When she ripped into Alex about why she didn’t do anything while Simon was away, I wanted to march into 21 Club myself & smack the Botox out of her. Listen, toots, you look like a hooker, I think a Barbie doll would be offended to wear your outfit, yet here you are at a lovely restaurant in a dress constructed of stretch bubble-gum, badgering away at a poorly-qoiffed woman and her jet-lagged husband. Shut it!

I know this is a long post, I apologize, I swear I’m almost done, but just like AnneM said above, I ‘OMG’ed’ to an empty room several times (my husband is mercifully spared due to work) throughout the episode. I am shocked and chagrined that there will be a season in New Jersey, of all places, but I am delighted that there will be a season 2 for NY b/c I have so many unanswered questions about these ladies---will Alex & her Siamese twin make it into grand society? Will Bethanny run once she’s at the altar w/ Jason? Will Ramona ever get a clue? (apparently not, as Jill points out that she’s an idiot at the reunion!) Will LuAnn graciously put all these fools in their places? Most of all, I’m just glad they are bringing this show back because I’m looking forward to your recaps Yenta --- I’m glad to learn we can read your novel in the meantime, I can't believe it, what a freakin treat!

P.S—typical neediness whine---Bethanny goes on & on every episode about how she wants to move in with Jason so that she knows they’re serious, etc---now she won’t move in until they’re engaged. Bethanny, you’re killing me!!

tiger36:

Yenta:

Thanks for the recap, quite possibly the best yet. For me, laugh-out-loud reading is usually reserved for Carl Hiassen novels, but your coverage of these folks is equally and wickedly hysterical.

One additional observation:
Doesn't it seem like Alex and Simon have an answer/rationlization for everything? It's either bad editing (Bravo's fault) or they offer some intelligence-insulting bit of spin control.

If they don't like the way they are being portrayed, why agree to a second season? Being the status whores that they are, though, I'd bet anything that they hopped right on board for another season of being "misrepresented."

They actually have an opportunity to redeem themselves somewhat. They could say that, in a rare display of integrity and dignity, they will not subject themselves and, by association, their kids to further ridicule.

My money is on them being back again for Season Two, in all their pretnetious glory. So much for their shot at redemption.

Also, does Alex look even worse in the latter episodes? Sheez, what a Schnauzer!!


fnllover:

Yenta~

I loved the recaps all season-- but this is my first time posting on these threads.

Will you be recapping the O.C. women when you return?

Also, I heard that Tammy and Quinn will not be returning... thank goodness, I hated Quinn. Yeah!

I have really grown fond of Jill and Bethenny-- I hope they find someone for the O.C. version who is blunt and makes fun of the others. It could really use a does of actual reality~

yentapatrol:

Hi There,

Tati: What awesome comments you make. I love the "how to converse is society if you're new money handbook"

tiger36: I'm a fan of Carl H. too. I'm also wondering if Alex and Simon will be back for season two. If nothing else the release of Alex's pictures has got to be damaging. It might be time for an extended stay on the continent.

fnllover: I'm so glad you've started posting. The more the merrier. As to whether I'll be recapping OC, that's a flipit question. I'm actually a captive in his basement chained to a laptop and a TV recapping whatever he decrees : )

Hugs,

Yenta

tillee:

Yes...I poured myself a big glass of wine and fully enjoyed the recap. Wooden box and nails...Cracking up again!

cleoiam:

yenta, great recap. I haven't seen the episode yet, but I think the recap beats watching the episode hands down.

Nothing is more annoying than parents who think of and treat their children like adults. Why would Simon and Alex bring their toddlers to a fancy dinner? My guess is they don't eat dinner with their children in their own home and yet they bring them to the 21 Club. Why didn't they bring them to the opening of the Met, that's similarly appropriate? Oh, I guess that would have cost them another $10k.

I have mixed feelings about a second season. First, why does everything have to revolve around Jill? I get the feeling this is the only way she will play nicely. Did you notice her hissy fits when she's not in control? I like Jill, but she had all the control this season and it's not fair to the other ladies. Second, why keep Simon and Alex? He's like a 6th wife and I don't want to waste my time watching him. I felt this way after his thong bikini shot on St Barts in the heat/mugginess of August. No one visits the Caribbean in the summer. If Alex isn't strong enough to do the shows on her own and we get to see Simon like the other husbands, than she should be dropped. And to ask whether the Dr. wants Frankie to recite the alphabet forwards or backwards..give me a break. I hope both Frankie and Johnny become fascinated with the garbage trucks in NYC and wish to become sanitation workers when they grow up.

I too feel bad for Avery. I actually think she's the least spoiled child in the show and that's why I don't mind Ramona that much. I think the scenes where Ramona took Avery and her friends get all dolled up and then Mario made a big fuss over them were charming.

Post a comment

Post a comment

363