Dr. Sharon, still in her sexy low cut dress sans any sort of lab coat, starts injecting Kathleen and apparently this is a pretty painful procedure, but the good doctor tells her that if she could handle having kids then she can handle the injections. Ramona's like "no way." The pain of giving birth was so much for her that there was no way that she was having a second child which is a blessing in disguise since it limits the number of youngsters in the world who will need massive therapy.
After they finish the botox they move on to the magical Vela shape machine and IPL laser therapy. Ramona assures us that if women work at it on a timely regular basis they'll look younger than their 'chronicle' age is. Ramona needs to stick to the two-syllable rule. After the procedure, Dr. Sharon, MD and the women all drink champagne in celebration of their eternal youth.
Meanwhile, in addition to her birthday lunch Bethenny's also having a birthday dinner. The dinner starts off well with Jill giving Bethenny beautiful lingerie and Bethenny shares that Jason loves lingerie and she'll be wearing it that night, which is a picture that I can do without. It also turns out that Bethenny re-gifted Lou's negligee to Jill and as much as I love Jill I'm praying that they don't show her in it. Bethenny shares the news that she and Jason have decided to move in together. And Jill starts playing momma Jill pushing Bethenny to see if she's sure. I'm kind of expecting that Jill's pushing is going to irritate Bethenny but she's pretty confident about the decision.
The rest of the guests arrive consisting of Bobby, another couple and Jason. And Jill starts going over Bethenny's birthday gifts. "Bethenny where'd you get those earrings? What else did you get? Tell me about the birthday; you got the earrings, you're going away for the whole weekend, and what else beside this wonderful dinner? Are we still working on the watch?" I can kind of see how this is getting on Bethenny's nerves, but she freaks out and tells Jill, "If you talk about another thing I'm going to take a fucking skewer and shove it in your eyeball." And there's a general "Holy shit" moment around the table. Followed by a Happy B-day toast with a clinking of glasses all around.
It's my party and I can skewer you if I want to.
The Countess is all set up this week for a little damage control on her image and she's determined to show that she cares about the serfs. So wearing a pretty spiffy outfit she sets out to spread good will and bonhomie over the Manhattan homeless. She informs us that as a Countess she has a certain set of responsibilities and she likes to do as much work as she can with certain charitable organizations. One of her favorites is the Soho partnership, which aims at taking homeless people off the street, and teaching them to be drug free and get jobs. So now we have an awkward merging of reality and Countess PR. Because, while she's probably donated large amounts of money to this organization, it's doubtful that she's ever been involved with it's day-to-day operations. For instance, she's never before met the guy that's been their director of operations for the last 6 years. On the other hand, the Countess is on a mission to show how caring she is. So, today's the day that she's going to meet him. And not only that, while the cameras are still around the Countess is going to do some volunteer work and help coach a recovering addict for a job interview, because the Countess is such an expert on employment practices. Even more importantly, the Countess is going to perform a real community service and make her stellar fashion sense available to the homeless.
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Comments (12)
Dear YentaPatrol,
First things first, wonderful job. This recap was your best one yet.
I don't know about anyone else, but I was exhausted after watching this episode. I don't know how many times I said "Holy S**t!" causing my husband to yell from the other room, "Are you ok?" I'm disabled so I usually don't say anything loud unless I need help.
I was so glad we got to see little Frankie (love that name) get evaluated. I wonder if the Dr. will mention anything about his passive aggressive and rude behavior. Probably not, otherwise they won't bring little Johnny when he starts burping the entire alphabet in Olde English.
Bethenny has missed her calling. Give up cooking and do a stand-up routine. It would lead to a huge movie deal, her talents are wasted in the kitchen.
And lastly our poor dear little Ramona, Queen of the Prom. I say that because her dress is almost an exact copy of a dress my friend got for her daughter's Junior Prom. They are the same color. The theme of the prom is Cinderella. Funny that Ramona's dress would appeal to a 16 year old. Actually, that's a little sad.
Ramona looks like a hooker no matter what she wears. Avery might as well go away to boarding school. She's not going to change her Mom's taste, but at least she should not have to look at it every day.
One final thing about Frankie and Johnny. They are being raised to be the most obnoxious, self-important, brats I've ever seen. I don't normally criticize children, I love kids. But these two have serious issues. Unfortunately, their parents are so busy climbing that social ladder, they've completely over looked the hardest part of child rearing, saying "no". IF they don't start correcting that behavior very soon, they will have real trouble.
Imagine a couple of teenage boys, with no manners or discipline? what a nightmare.
I'm so happy we will have a reunion and season 2. And what about the New Jersey Wives? I'm really looking forward to all of our future viewing and your recaps.
Thanks for the laughs,
AnneM
1 of 12 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on April 19, 2008 10:00 AM
Yenta you are one of the best! When I saw that I had 9 pages to look forward I got a tsll drink and settled in for early Saturday ME time! I was interrupted three time which included getting in my car and picking up one of my children from Softball practice.. which I will hold against her all day. I hope yor return for season two and now that I might have a bit of time I am going to read you chapters.
I couldn't add a thing to what you and Ann wrote above. This was a delight and I look forward to the reunion show.
Have you looked for the pictures of Alex they keep mentioning in the previews?? For a woman so set against sexism you would think she would have issue with working for Victoia's Secret And posing nude. I see long years of public education ahead for Francios, not that there is anything wrong with thatÜ
Thanks for the good read.....
2 of 12 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on April 19, 2008 10:27 AM
okay ... I found this link... and I warn you.. it is Alex in her birthday suit...and it is nt pretty.... and when you read the article and go to the picture links in the article you will understand why her children are disturbed... or maybe she isn't actually posing nude in her children's bedroom.
3 of 12 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on April 19, 2008 2:13 PM
okay, i cannot post any urls in the message body.
Jeesh... if you want to see what I am talking about the link IS in the Real Housewives of New York City thread.
4 of 12 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on April 19, 2008 2:18 PM
Naked Pictures Comment:
First of all, when little Frankie and Johnny go to school, all of their little friends will be trading pictues of their naked Mummy in the cafeteria. And when their parents see the pictures, they will no longer feel the need to invite the little bad mannered kids to any parties.
Second, Alex and Simon (because you know he was there cheering her on) have really underestimated the effect of these pictures. All of the valuable contacts they have made while clawing their way up the social ladder will see these pictures and will remove their names from any party list. They will also go out of their way to avoid them in public. People with "old money" are very conservative. Do you think the Count would have married Lou Anne if there were naked pictures of her floating around?
I guess Alex and Simon should spend money on their house and time disciplining their kids. Perhaps saying "no" would be a much more important lesson that they need instead of learning French or Latin or Vulcan or whatever other useless information that they think a child needs.
They need limits and after seeing their mother's idea of celebrating her baby weight loss, I'm starting to understand why the kids don't behave in public. Neither does their Mom.
Can you just hear what Jill and the Countess and even Ramona and Bethenny will say?
What a couple of dorks!!
5 of 12 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on April 19, 2008 7:35 PM
Hey Guys,
Boy am I going to miss recapping this show with you guys...
AnneM: I love the queen of the prom comment--it's perfect
Giffordsaz: I had no idea that the pictures could be accessed; I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry, but I definitely want a drink before I look.
AnneM: You're right about the pictures not helping them. These are two very bizarre people--thank God they found each other...
Hugs,
Yenta
6 of 12 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on April 19, 2008 7:46 PM
Yenta! I agree with the posters above, this really was your best recap to date! Highly enjoyed the photo captions (my fave is of Frankie & his papa discussing cancer & death). I missed the irony of Alex & Simon bidding away at the Habitat for Humanity auction, while their own home has probably failed 20 inspections so thank you for pointing it out. I am so sad this show over, I need more Yenta!
I think Alex needs to go back to her 'How to Converse in Society When You Are New Money' Handbook---surely she will realize that nowhere does it read, 'Step one: blurt out vibrator talk among people you aim to impress, while attending a swanky silent auction.' Look, Alex, polite society might let you get away with sporting a thong bikini in Frenchy St. Barts but vibrator talk with a bonafide Countess FFS, who allows you to address her by her first name is a definite no-no!
I think Bethanny miscontrued Alex's 'just plug it in' quip---not plug it into the wall outlet, honey, she meant into yourself. (OHHH! Alex is so liberal-minded, she WILL go there!) But I loved Bethanny's interviews throughout this episode, she was hilarious & frank as always. Loved how she handled her dad's friends at the races (White Bethanny, Jewish Jill), as well as Lee's gift (ok, an aside, what was he thinking?? Obviously doesn't have a girlfriend & is wishing Betts would realize he's interested. I was so embarassed for her!) Holy inappropriateness is right. BTW, does Jason do anything besides blink in disbelief & remain mute during his segments? What's there to sue, dude didn't say more than 30 words, TOPS, this entire season! We heard more from little Frankie. Speaking of little Frankie, agree w/ Bethanny’s observation about the usefulness of Alex’s banshees, I mean, kids singing, ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ in Latin. & YES, Yenta, why not drive that Au Pair into overtime & have her babysit the kids while the parents attend a fancy dinner?!! I know kids are kids and there is nothing wrong w/ a little wildness, but there is a time and a place for everything---allowing your child to attack your friend’s $1000 food is not one of them! That scene drove me NUTS! Ramona-level nuts! (ok, maybe not)
Re) LuAnn --- agree that she wanted to go into Countess PR damage control after last week’s episode when she laughed at her young child for expressing his wishes that she remain at home on taco night. Did you guys catch during one of her interviews when she referred to her hubby, not as the Count, but by his given name of ALEX??!! I guess the viewers have finally earned this right (bet Bettany’s driver can’t call him Alex yet!)
Ramona. She looked exactly the same as she did before she went in for all the treatments. Except perhaps a little more bug-eyed. Too bad they can’t do something about her crassness. When she ripped into Alex about why she didn’t do anything while Simon was away, I wanted to march into 21 Club myself & smack the Botox out of her. Listen, toots, you look like a hooker, I think a Barbie doll would be offended to wear your outfit, yet here you are at a lovely restaurant in a dress constructed of stretch bubble-gum, badgering away at a poorly-qoiffed woman and her jet-lagged husband. Shut it!
I know this is a long post, I apologize, I swear I’m almost done, but just like AnneM said above, I ‘OMG’ed’ to an empty room several times (my husband is mercifully spared due to work) throughout the episode. I am shocked and chagrined that there will be a season in New Jersey, of all places, but I am delighted that there will be a season 2 for NY b/c I have so many unanswered questions about these ladies---will Alex & her Siamese twin make it into grand society? Will Bethanny run once she’s at the altar w/ Jason? Will Ramona ever get a clue? (apparently not, as Jill points out that she’s an idiot at the reunion!) Will LuAnn graciously put all these fools in their places? Most of all, I’m just glad they are bringing this show back because I’m looking forward to your recaps Yenta --- I’m glad to learn we can read your novel in the meantime, I can't believe it, what a freakin treat!
P.S—typical neediness whine---Bethanny goes on & on every episode about how she wants to move in with Jason so that she knows they’re serious, etc---now she won’t move in until they’re engaged. Bethanny, you’re killing me!!
7 of 12 | Posted by tati | Posted on April 19, 2008 8:46 PM
Yenta:
Thanks for the recap, quite possibly the best yet. For me, laugh-out-loud reading is usually reserved for Carl Hiassen novels, but your coverage of these folks is equally and wickedly hysterical.
One additional observation:
Doesn't it seem like Alex and Simon have an answer/rationlization for everything? It's either bad editing (Bravo's fault) or they offer some intelligence-insulting bit of spin control.
If they don't like the way they are being portrayed, why agree to a second season? Being the status whores that they are, though, I'd bet anything that they hopped right on board for another season of being "misrepresented."
They actually have an opportunity to redeem themselves somewhat. They could say that, in a rare display of integrity and dignity, they will not subject themselves and, by association, their kids to further ridicule.
My money is on them being back again for Season Two, in all their pretnetious glory. So much for their shot at redemption.
Also, does Alex look even worse in the latter episodes? Sheez, what a Schnauzer!!
8 of 12 | Posted by tiger36 | Posted on April 21, 2008 5:51 AM
Yenta~
I loved the recaps all season-- but this is my first time posting on these threads.
Will you be recapping the O.C. women when you return?
Also, I heard that Tammy and Quinn will not be returning... thank goodness, I hated Quinn. Yeah!
I have really grown fond of Jill and Bethenny-- I hope they find someone for the O.C. version who is blunt and makes fun of the others. It could really use a does of actual reality~
9 of 12 | Posted by fnllover | Posted on April 21, 2008 1:53 PM
Hi There,
Tati: What awesome comments you make. I love the "how to converse is society if you're new money handbook"
tiger36: I'm a fan of Carl H. too. I'm also wondering if Alex and Simon will be back for season two. If nothing else the release of Alex's pictures has got to be damaging. It might be time for an extended stay on the continent.
fnllover: I'm so glad you've started posting. The more the merrier. As to whether I'll be recapping OC, that's a flipit question. I'm actually a captive in his basement chained to a laptop and a TV recapping whatever he decrees : )
Hugs,
Yenta
10 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on April 21, 2008 2:21 PM
Yes...I poured myself a big glass of wine and fully enjoyed the recap. Wooden box and nails...Cracking up again!
11 of 12 | Posted by tillee | Posted on April 21, 2008 4:13 PM
yenta, great recap. I haven't seen the episode yet, but I think the recap beats watching the episode hands down.
Nothing is more annoying than parents who think of and treat their children like adults. Why would Simon and Alex bring their toddlers to a fancy dinner? My guess is they don't eat dinner with their children in their own home and yet they bring them to the 21 Club. Why didn't they bring them to the opening of the Met, that's similarly appropriate? Oh, I guess that would have cost them another $10k.
I have mixed feelings about a second season. First, why does everything have to revolve around Jill? I get the feeling this is the only way she will play nicely. Did you notice her hissy fits when she's not in control? I like Jill, but she had all the control this season and it's not fair to the other ladies. Second, why keep Simon and Alex? He's like a 6th wife and I don't want to waste my time watching him. I felt this way after his thong bikini shot on St Barts in the heat/mugginess of August. No one visits the Caribbean in the summer. If Alex isn't strong enough to do the shows on her own and we get to see Simon like the other husbands, than she should be dropped. And to ask whether the Dr. wants Frankie to recite the alphabet forwards or backwards..give me a break. I hope both Frankie and Johnny become fascinated with the garbage trucks in NYC and wish to become sanitation workers when they grow up.
I too feel bad for Avery. I actually think she's the least spoiled child in the show and that's why I don't mind Ramona that much. I think the scenes where Ramona took Avery and her friends get all dolled up and then Mario made a big fuss over them were charming.
12 of 12 | Posted by cleoiam | Posted on April 23, 2008 8:12 AM